dumbshow | highly new, slightly improved open post

[Wow, he takes back his offer, don't give him that look. The coat would be easier than whatever Lalli is trying to mime he do, anyway, like... turn? That way?

He turns That Way.]

Uhhh... now what?

[In Lalli's mind, sitting up and flopping right back against Emil is supposed to feel like sweet, sweet victory. You ignore him, you lose the quiet game, and you suffer the consequences... for all of two minutes, because Lalli is positive that sitting back-to-back with someone without a solid door separating them is going to be very strange indeed. Too much contact.

And it is a ton of contact, but Emil is also surprisingly comfortable? Soft, thanks to the layers they're both wearing, yet still... solid. It's not like when Emil grabbed his hand and Lalli had no say in the matter, either; there's nothing holding him in place, so knowing that he's free to pull away whenever he wants certainly helps. Sure, feeling Emil's back move every time he takes a breath is, uh, different, and fully relying on someone to hold him up when he's perfectly capable of sitting up on his own feels a bit stupid, but he wouldn't say that it's all bad. It's better than the rocks for sure.

Does Emil think it's bad, though? Lalli's too proud and too socially dumb to straight-up ask, but he remains tense as he waits for Emil to say or do... something. The awkward energy is so strong...]

[In the end, he's furniture. That's unexpected; he kind of thought Lalli was just trying to get him to turn away and be quiet again, and he supposes he can't easily turn back around with Lalli leaning against him, so clearly that was the goal all along! Or, you know, just this.

It's a little strange, but not bad. Different. Close without staring at Lalli, which, okay, Emil does tend to stare. Sometimes.]

...Well, are you going to sleep? [upright??]

[That's it? This is such brand new territory that Lalli wasn't sure what to expect, but such a nonchalant response is... well, it's much better than an angry one. It's acceptable, even if it makes the whole I-won-and-you-lost aspect of this null and void.

Plus Emil isn't acting like this is something completely unheard of for friends to do, so Lalli allows himself to relax the slightest bit—before ruining it by elbowing Emil right in the side as he pretends to better situate himself. He'll do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants!]

I'm going to try. You're not very comfortable.

[But only when he talks, because Lalli can, like, feel it through his back and that's too much.]

[Elbowing him is thin ice, mister. All he has to do is lean in any direction but back and Lalli will collapse like a sad pile of twigs, don't test him. He scoffs, pulling his arms close to his sides to leave less spots open for cruel elbowing.

This guy. Saying his whiny Finnish things, making Emil think about his gibberish...]

You're bony.

[Perfect, this is friendship. If Lalli is going to sleep, though, Emil won't babble on and on... gee... it almost seems like he should sleep too...........]

[Two bros, chillin' in the dreamscape, still back-to-back because they are gay. AKA: Yeah, Lalli dozes off right before Emil dozes off, because Lalli can and will fall asleep anywhere. It's a gift. But the moment he opens his eyes on the other side, he's suddenly very aware of two things: 1) he's sitting on the fishing pier instead of lying in his usual spot on his little raft and 2) Emil is still right there behind him. He even looks back over his shoulder to verify this, even though he can feel him through his extra fluffy dream cape. He really should be used to this by now, and yet! And yet!]

You fell asleep, too?

[It's more of a stated fact than a question, but he doesn't sound annoyed? And he's not moving away from their current position, either; in fact, he leans his head forward and fluffs up a bit of his cape to form a makeshift pillow. Deal with it.]

I thought you were watching the clouds.

[Weren't they ~interesting~.]

[Emil closes his eyes on sheep clouds and opens them to a little fishing spot and it takes him a split second to realize it's happened again. Lalli speaking to him also helps, as does Lalli being an annoying fidget behind him. Please be still, there aren't even rocks here.]

I was. Not like there's any point now, though... If I can talk to you, that's better.

[Talk to him without having to translate, of course. Very privileged.]

I suppose this just happens whenever it feels like it? Do you know why?

[Better. Well, obviously he's MUCH better than clouds, but it's kind of... okay... to hear Emil say it out loud. Has anyone ever really enjoyed talking to Lalli? Huh...

Anyway, how to end an agreeable mood: ask Lalli if he knows what's going on when he definitely does not. It earns Emil a few more seconds of silent cloak-fluffing before Lalli finally offers a very helpful:]

...Hrmm.

[Could it be because he left that attic door open? Possibly? Or could it be that Emil is just so pushy that even the dreamscape is like, whoa, okay, do whatever you want? It's not like this situation is covered in the non-existent mage handbook!!]

It's... weird. You're not like Reynir.

[It's probably because Emil is pushy. He has no theories himself; he's kind of still coming around to magic being real, after all, and without all this hard proof he'd still be skeptical somehow... But either way, he just doesn't get magic, so Lalli has to have all the answers.]

Not like Reynir...? Uh, I hope I'm not.

[.......oh, no, this is about the magical thing. He almost forgot Reynir is supposedly a magical boy as well. Hmm.]

Maaaaybe it's because we're such good friends!

[Lalli crosses his arms and mrrs, because it doesn't take an all-knower to know that this brand new thing called ~friendship~ somehow plays a part... even if he doesn't fully understand how. This, he supposes, is just what happens when you find someone you don't always mind sharing space with and then spend a few days trapped in their head. When Reynir comes skipping through the barrier, it's terribly intrusive; when Emil pops up out of nowhere, it's... acceptably intrusive. Sure? Sure.

Like hell he's going to say that, though. He focuses on the word friend instead, thinking back to all of his other friends. Spoiler: there are none. So what makes a friend... a good friend...]

Are we?

[They can understand every word now, and he's sticking to tiny little sentences. He's doing GREAT.]

Uhhhh— [Well, Emil doesn't have any other friends either, so,] I hope so?

[He's sure they're actually friends for real now, it would be silly to pretend otherwise after everything they've been through out in the horrible barren wasteland, but good friend is kind of a shot in the dark. At least Lalli doesn't say no - he has that going for him.]

I mean, if we weren't, I wouldn't have come all the way out here to look at sheep with you, you know?

[Enjoy even more silence as Lalli turns this all over in his mind, and then...]

Oh.

[If doing something you don't necessarily like for another person is all it takes to be good friends, then yes, Lalli feels this. It must be why he spends time learning Swedish word after Swedish word, why he feels so pleased when he says something correctly and Emil smiles. Perhaps he's better at this whole friend thing than he ever knew? But as for understanding Emil's example here—]

I thought you liked looking at sheep. [...] And clouds.

Oh, well— I like other things more? [Maybe he just wanted to spend time with Lalli!! Maybe that! But that suddenly seems much too embarrassing to say, way worse than "we're good friends," for some reason...?] Sheep aren't bad.

[......okay, fine, he will do the emotional legwork here.]

I thought you'd have a better time if we weren't stuck in Reynir's dusty old farm house all day, that's all!

[...Ah. Well. That's the type of thoughtfulness that warrants a thank you—even Lalli is aware of this!—but he remembers how smug Emil was the last time he was thanked and promptly decides against that. Perhaps it's time to do that trying thing again...]

I am. Being here is better than being there.

[In a field, on a dream pier, wherever—it's true and he can admit it, probably because he doesn't have to look at Emil as he does so. That's probably something he should think about; instead, though, he tilts his head back without even thinking about it, scanning the sky for any sign of flying fish as he ponders other things.]

...Are you having a better time, too?

[Or should they be doing something else??]

We're asleep in a field.

[Like, just putting it in perspective. They could be asleep in Reynir's house— actually maybe not, because of the noise, so forget his sassy comments as usual. Emil smiles down at the water without thinking about it; Lalli having a good time- or at least an alright time- makes him smile! Good to know.

But ah, hi, Lalli-? Emil shifts just slightly, so they aren't banging their heads together. Is he having a better time? Well, now he is—]

I'm having... fun. [They're just sitting here, so "fun" seems like a lot-] I like spending time with you.

[He could, and probably should, lift his head back up, but nah; now it's his turn to watch the clouds, which are forming the weirdest shapes as they slowly drift by. That one almost looks like a... duck? Interesting! And, more importantly, distracting, because hearing Emil say that he likes spending time with him makes him feel so many weird things at once. Good weird! Not bad weird, but still, how in the world is he supposed to sort though all of it!!

Oh, right, here's the perfect plan: numb those feelings by thinking about the potentially bad stuff. Case in point—]

Even when we're not asleep?

[He shifts, slightly uncomfortable for no apparent reason, because he's, uh... he's done some Stuff that Emil DESERVED, and yet...]

[Oh, a duck cloud... neat. Emil watches the duck, shifting again when Lalli asks him that. Of course he can't help but think about all the admittedly crappy things Lalli has done while they're awake - the soup, snapping at him in nonsense Finnish that time with the flower, all those times - but, well, friendship is friendship, right? For sure.

Like, maybe a few months ago he would have turned his nose up at Lalli's bad behavior, but that was a few months ago. He was a totally different person then! And not so... attached.]

Uh... most of the time. [Urgh, he's cringing-] But I get it! All that- all that stuff happened, anybody would be upset!

[Ugh, this is terrible. He likes Lalli very much and that includes hauling his comatose body around while his soul or whatever calls him a useless, slow idiot, he supposes. Maybe his judgment is a little skewed.]

Look, Lalli— yes, plenty. You're great! Okay?

[Um, Emil? Don't pretend like you know what he has—and is still!—going through, and then try to... to tell him what he (secretly) wants to hear? That only makes Lalli want to shove a pointy elbow right back into the other boy's side, even though he somehow manages to keep his arms crossed as he glares up at the other clouds floating past them. Most of the time... hmph.]

No. [No, it's not okay, and he sighs.] You don't get anything, and you never will. You're too different.

[As bad as it sounds, that's a good thing! Emil hasn't had to deal with the same things that Lalli has been forced to deal with; he's free to smile as much as he pleases, and that makes Lalli both happy and sad, makes him want to shake Emil and pat him on his dumb head. Why is everything confusing where Emil is concerned? Ugh. He watches another, grayer cloud drift by before he slowly lifts his head.]

...I can't be like you.

[Stupid. Amusing. Warm. Normal? ...Great. Almost always great.]

[Boy, has this become a rollercoaster of emotions, whatever a rollercoaster equivalent is in post-apocalyptic hell world. Emil goes through plenty: surprised and annoyed at another no when he is trying so hard(!!), then a different kind of bothered when he apparently doesn't get it, wow, thanks— as usual, he winds up confused, like Lalli's had a whole conversation without including him for half of it and still expects him to have kept up.

Being Emil is actually very difficult, see! It's hard!]

Why would you have to be like me? [Would he even be friends with himself? There's a question for the ages.] I don't know what you want me to say!

[So, standard fare, but still.]

Edited (Quietly changes a thing bc i can't read when half asleep) 2018-12-02 15:25 (UTC)

[That Lalli is right? That he really doesn't get anything, but that he accepts that as Fact and will keep trying even when Lalli makes it difficult by doing stuff like this? It's nothing Emil hasn't said before! Some of it was said just a few short minutes ago, in fact, but Lalli—the expert communicator—grabs the bit of his cloak that isn't being used as a pillow and pulls it around his shoulders. HMPH.]

I don't know what you want me to do!

[In the waking world, that is, but if he was like Emil he'd just KNOW!! Duh!!! Anyway, arguing while sitting back-to-back is the most ridiculous thing imaginable, but these two... oh, these two...]

Do when? Now I don't know what you're talking about!

[What is going on! Somewhere in the 50 conversations Lalli had by himself and didn't include Emil on, he lost the thread of what they're even arguing about. What Lalli should do? Like, to be his friend...? This is stupid. So is arguing back-to-back, but Emil resists the urge to twist around and shake Lalli by the shoulders until he stops being so... like this.]

You don't have to do anything, I guess? I would have said something by now.

[He says, grumpily, but the soft sentiment is there.]

[You try, and you try, and you try, and somehow it's not enough! Somehow it backfires entirely and things get complicated... ugh, but he should have just kept his mouth shut...]

...Psh.

[Well, obviously he's learned his lesson now. What's the point in trying to tell Emil that "I would have said something by now" only means "I haven't said anything yet, but I will?" People always do! But that... would only make things even louder, even more confusing, so Lalli opts for sullen silence instead.]

[That's not what that means at all, you little brat. He'd actually have to shake Lalli for that one, so it's good that he doesn't say it, on some level. It's not good that they're just mad at each other now, especially here when they have the ability to actually work it out with their grown up words— ugh!

Emil is quiet for a long moment, telling himself to calm down before he says something pissy and mean on purpose. Hmph.]

...I wish you wouldn't shut me out like that. [Hmm, that sounds a little... well, too late now, he's already said it.] I'm sorry?

["I wish you wouldn't shut me out," he says, after Lalli just tried to let him in when it's really none of his business at ALL! At least, that's how Lalli sees it, which is why he's not quite sure why hearing a well-earned apology makes him feel oddly guilty for the second time today. He should be annoyed! He is annoyed, but... hrnnnnnngh. Is this where a good friend would apologize... back?

...Probably, but Lalli, a paragon of maturity, watches the water instead... and then studies the planks below him... and then finally looks back up at the sky, careful not to tilt his head back as far as he did before. A part of him just wants to go back to that comfortable, okay-ish mood they had going on when they first showed up here, but he's still feeling some kind of way, so, after letting out a huff—]

Don't be stupid.

[In general, he means. Or he thinks he means? Because as soon as he says it in that quiet, matter-of-fact way, he knows that what he almost-kind-of-really means is, "You don't have to apologize."]

[Goddamn it, Lalli. Emil scoffs and leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, not pulling way so much that they're not touching at all, but decidedly not as comfortable as before, sorry babe. Now they're both in a mood.]

Oh, please. It's not like I have a-- a manual or something for how to make friends.

[You're not the only person who sucks at this, Lalli!! Emil just sucks in different ways.]

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