dumbshow | highly new, slightly improved open post

[You try, and you try, and you try, and somehow it's not enough! Somehow it backfires entirely and things get complicated... ugh, but he should have just kept his mouth shut...]

...Psh.

[Well, obviously he's learned his lesson now. What's the point in trying to tell Emil that "I would have said something by now" only means "I haven't said anything yet, but I will?" People always do! But that... would only make things even louder, even more confusing, so Lalli opts for sullen silence instead.]

[That's not what that means at all, you little brat. He'd actually have to shake Lalli for that one, so it's good that he doesn't say it, on some level. It's not good that they're just mad at each other now, especially here when they have the ability to actually work it out with their grown up words— ugh!

Emil is quiet for a long moment, telling himself to calm down before he says something pissy and mean on purpose. Hmph.]

...I wish you wouldn't shut me out like that. [Hmm, that sounds a little... well, too late now, he's already said it.] I'm sorry?

["I wish you wouldn't shut me out," he says, after Lalli just tried to let him in when it's really none of his business at ALL! At least, that's how Lalli sees it, which is why he's not quite sure why hearing a well-earned apology makes him feel oddly guilty for the second time today. He should be annoyed! He is annoyed, but... hrnnnnnngh. Is this where a good friend would apologize... back?

...Probably, but Lalli, a paragon of maturity, watches the water instead... and then studies the planks below him... and then finally looks back up at the sky, careful not to tilt his head back as far as he did before. A part of him just wants to go back to that comfortable, okay-ish mood they had going on when they first showed up here, but he's still feeling some kind of way, so, after letting out a huff—]

Don't be stupid.

[In general, he means. Or he thinks he means? Because as soon as he says it in that quiet, matter-of-fact way, he knows that what he almost-kind-of-really means is, "You don't have to apologize."]

[Goddamn it, Lalli. Emil scoffs and leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, not pulling way so much that they're not touching at all, but decidedly not as comfortable as before, sorry babe. Now they're both in a mood.]

Oh, please. It's not like I have a-- a manual or something for how to make friends.

[You're not the only person who sucks at this, Lalli!! Emil just sucks in different ways.]

[Oh! My God! Lalli dips back a bit before (thankfully) catching himself with a hiss, because seriously, when someone is relying on your shoulder to be there, you can't make a move like that without giving them a little warning! That's rude.

Anyway, Emil, what did Lalli just tell you?? A manual for making friends... pfft...]

But you get along with everyone, [he snips back like it's the most obvious thing in the world, following Emil's lead and also leaning forward. Emil is... likable? Duh? And he can actually communicate with the others, but Lalli is 99% sure that it really comes down to Emil just. Pushing his way into everyone's bubble as easily as he pushed his way into Lalli's. He's not even thinking about the lady in Emil's dream; he's only thinking about the here and the now. The squad...]

Uhhh— what?

[No, for real, where is that coming from? That's almost out of left field and also objectively wrong enough to get Emil to turn around and look at Lalli, but only almost. Remember when he punched Reynir in the face? Or all the times Sigrun yelled at him?? And when Mikkel tormented him with fake face diseases?!

Maybe a little less that last one, but please— and those are just the things Lalli actually was around for. This guy, talking like he knows everything, psh...]

Well sorry to disappoint you, but I don't get along with everyone. Half the time everyone is just ignoring me until they need me to do something for them, anyway.

[This is more like maybe a fifth of the time, and only when Sigrun forces him onto babysitting duty, but #emil.]

[Does Reynir even count, though? Seriously. Anyway, though: Emil may be orbiting around the crew, but he's not out in deep, deep space like Lalli feels like he is. Yeah, Sigrun yells at Emil... but then she does that stupid punching thing that means things are still okay. And they can talk! Lalli is just, you know, mainly there to scout and to sense monsters and to watch everything from afar, and that's fine, but now that Tuuri isn't around to translate and smooth things over—well. Even if they don't seem to mind him these days—even if they were happy to see him return with Emil—who's to say that won't change?

But of course he's not going to explain any of that.]

They like you! You— [Ugh, WORDS! Give him a second, please, before he finally balls up his fists and spits out:] You fit.

[Like, fit... in? Better than he does, anyway.]

[Oh. Oh, he hears it now-- it finally slots into place, and it... kind of makes him sad? He's never thought of any of them not fitting except maybe Reynir, and even Reynir's annoying, useless, ugly hair self kind of has his place. To hear Lalli be this upset about Emil fitting - because the obvious implication is that he doesn't, in turn - just... makes him feel sad!!

So now he actually turns, twisting halfway around to lean a little and try to sneak a glimpse of Lalli's face. Hey. Look at him. Hey!!]

I like you. [Ah, wait, that's true but it's not the point he wanted to make--] So does everyone else! Sigrun is always talking about how good you are at your, you know, stuff.

[Purposely turning his head even further to the side is petty and childish, so of course that's what he does the very second he feels Emil shifting around behind him. No looking allowed!! It would just make things... weird.

Or, uh, weirder, because he's fully aware that he's already dug himself a nice little hole here. He wants Emil to understand, but he doesn't want to explain, because... well, how is he supposed to explain? "Sigrun tells you that I do a good job because it's true, but you're the only one who learned how to say it in Finnish just so you could tell me." That's a... that's a good friend move right there. It's why he likes Emil, so being mad at him like this is—]

Mmph.

[He's reaching his word limit, but—hey, his shoulders relax the slightest bit, and his fists slowly unclench as he takes more time to think. Five, four, three, two, one...]

...Scouting. [Okay, now he chances a glance over at Emil. A quick one.] Not stuff.

[It's kind of like their earlier language lessons? And he doesn't sound straight-up pissy any longer, so... progress.]

[...Well, at least he doesn't sound super mad anymore, Emil supposes. The thing is-- he already knows that he's the one who makes the effort on their team when it comes to Lalli. He figured it out all on his own, but somehow that isn't occurring to him right at this moment. The way the others don't bother with Lalli the way he does seems like a problem they have, not a result of something Lalli has done-- that's the only way Emil sees it, and so the thing Lalli can't explain doesn't occur to him in exactly the same way.

Very good at communication, boys.]

Scouting, right, right. And your... mage things.

[He's a whole believer now, although he was maybe kinda sorta strongarmed into it thanks to Circumstances.]

For what it's worth, I think you're very impressive! [And only his opinion matters, so!]

[Soothing him with compliments is the best, please continue. Plus, after everything they've been through the past... however long it's been, he knows that Emil isn't just saying that. Nice. Nice, nice, nice. He wants everyone to think that he's the (most) best, of course, but there's a part of him that really does put Emil's opinion slightly higher than the rest. Hmm!

But okay, okay, what would a good friend tell their good friend...]

I know. [Like, he Knows that Emil Knows, but also—] You're... good at what you do, too.

[Burning stuff, even though Lalli may or may not still be inside, and... carrying his cumbersome body around when it would have made more sense to just leave it behind. Ugh. Still, though, he's only able to last a second before he shoots Emil one of his patented Looks™.]

But don't be weird about it!

[He could have thrown in a line or two about your weak-ass brain, Emil! Just accept this gift that you have been given without gloating!!!]

Edited 2018-12-03 01:11 (UTC)

[Ooh, a whole compliment! Emil doesn't make it weird, unless beaming at Lalli is making it weird-- he won't talk about it, how's that? He'll only give Lalli his winning smile(tm) and hold up his hands, waving them a little to signify that he's not going to say anything too Weird.

Still, he's absolutely delighted that Lalli has complimented him at long last... first a whole thank you, now this... Truly, everything is coming up Emil. He looks down at the dock and keeps making this same dopey face for a bit longer, before he has judged himself able to speak without breaking the Weird Rule.]

I'm not going to be weird, but— thank you.

[Ah, the mood feels much better now... He kind of wants to go back to how close they were before, but how do you ask your very good friend who has picky physical contact preferences to come sit all close to you... He doesn't know!!]

[Oh, beaming like that is definitely weird; it's why Lalli promptly looks away, halfheartedly scowling at the nearby trees as he wonders why his chest suddenly tightened up for absolutely no reason at all. He's just been sitting in one place? What the fuck? But they've been over this thank-you thing before, so even though he doesn't really want to say anything for fear of, like, ruining this... whatever it is, he still grumbles a quiet:]

Y-You're welcome.

[Saying it a second time in a second dream is strange, but Emil will like it and he supposes that's what really matters. For now, anyway. But he also supposes that it might earn him another megawatt smile, so he gently—gently!!—elbows Emil in the back.]

Turn back around now.

[For privacy! Gosh!]

[Oh good, Lalli has the whole seating arrangement thing covered for him, he... assumes? That's what it seems like, and while he doesn't say anything else before he turns back around, he is definitely still making that face. Any positive development with Lalli just makes him feel, uh... warm? That's probably the best word for it.

Anyway, he's turned, there he goes.]

If I'm going to stare off in this direction again, you have to keep talking to me!

[That's the rule!!]

[Thanks for turning around, Emil, but Lalli isn't completely sure if he wants to lean against your back again? Okay, no—he's pretty sure that he does, but he isn't sure what the best way to go about it is at this point in time. Does he slowly inch backwards? Does he try the nonchalant fall once again? It was easier when he could just pretend that it was because he won the quiet game...

So for now he's just there! Taking his sweet, sweet time as he stretches his legs out in front of him and gives his feet a very flat look. Talking... after he's already done so much? He needs a nap to escape from this nap.]

Why? I don't have anything to say.

[Well, it's true.]

Lalli, come on.

[Don't be like that. Have a conversation with Emil, your very best friend in the whole world. He's still too happy about the one whole compliment to take offense at Lalli's blunt attitude this time.

Still, he can't just stare out at dream water and dream clouds for too long before he starts getting antsy. Taaalk to hiiim... it makes him haaappy...]

Why don't you tell me something else about blueberries, or something? Anything!

Mmm...

[Ah, yes, the time he went picking his least favorite berry. He could tell Emil more Tuuri tales, or try to think of a scouting adventure that reinforces how good he is, but... hmm.]

One time I was stuck in a ship, and someone asked me to play chess with them. They wouldn't leave me alone. [Wait for it, wait for it—] I won more games than they did.

[Smug Lalli is back, baybee, and he tries to picture Emil's face as he leans right back against him.]

[Hey uhhh what the hell, Lalli?? This is rude. It takes Emil, like, just a little too long to realize this is about him, because he's Emil, and then instantly his jimmies are sufficiently rustled.

What the hell!! Only Lalli leaning against him again saves Lalli from getting the full brunt of Emil's whiny face. Ugh!]

Wow, okay, so that's how it's going to be. It isn't my fault— it's hard to play chess like that!

[Lalli literally taped forks together and used them to move the little pieces around, yet he still managed to win? Your argument is invalid, Emil. You know it. Lalli definitely knows it, which is why it is such a good thing that Emil can't see his face. Winning or losing that stupid game didn't matter then, but now!! Now it's making him smile the tiniest bit.]

No it's not. You just weren't good at guessing what I would do.

[He's just sayin'. Anyway, he did his duty; now he can sit here in peace, yes?]

I— hmmmm.

[He almost says I can't read your mind, but considering where they are, that's... he's not even really sure, but something about it seems wrong on a technicality, at least. Lalli is a jerk, but he's Emil's jerk, so.

Fine! Jerk wins. Emil sighs, but the flustered tension goes out of him for the most part, so he can finally Relax.]

Alright, whatever. ...When we have to go back to the house, I'll write some more words down for you to learn, if you like. But only in Swedish because I do not care about Icelandic at all.

[Maybe he'll teach him to talk shit.]

[If he likes... pfft. He makes a face up at the sky, because staring at vocab sheets is not how he prefers to spend his waking hours. ...Then again, though, every word he says correctly usually earns him one of those smiles, and while he's still not sure how to feel about the way said smiles make him feel...]

...No Icelandic, [he repeats, thinking about Reynir, and Reynir's loud family, and his non-Icelandic friend.] Only useful words.

[So what how many useful words does he actually end up learning during the next few vocab sessions? A good amount, probably—after all, Emil knows better than to push things too far—but he also learns to say things like "hairdresser" and "more cake" and "annoying, pushy loudmouth." Only the last phrase gets plenty of use.

Lalli, however, does not have Tuuri's fondness for learning, nor does he have her confidence; learning how to properly pronounce new words takes time, and that's... well, it's not surprising, but it is more frustrating than he'd like to admit. He wants more smiles! More shoulder pats! And yes, learning a new language is good in its own right, especially if he's going to stay with this team of non-Finns, but that's not what he's thinking about when he's trying to memorize new term after new term. That's not what he's thinking about at all.

Which is—big surprise—also frustrating! People have smiled at him before, and it's... an okay thing, he supposes. It's better than people frowning at him when they think he's messed something up, but he's never cared one way or another—until Emil. Emil smiles and Lalli's chest tightens? His stomach twists? He wants to simultaneously turn away and stay right where he is for as long as he possibly can? It's very weird, okay, and it should be very bad, but the more it happens to him, the more he realizes that he doesn't really mind it; he just wishes that he could understand it.

So he tries! He truly, honestly tries... in his spare time, of course; he doesn't want to postpone any important vocab lessons, but when Emil is off doing... other Emil things, Lalli slips out of the house to run through the strange country that is unlike anything he's used to. At least it's easy to avoid people, even if it's not always easy to avoid sheep. He can deal with them as he jumps over rocks and ducks under trees and pictures Emil's dumb face.

And he's still thinking about Emil's dumb face as he sprints back to Reynir's house... and almost runs into Emil himself. Oh! Well. Scouts should never be caught unaware like this, but as he skids to a stop, he's too shocked to offer Emil anything other than a:]

Ah—

[Aaaaaand there it is: a sudden flash of shame as he blinks back at his good, good friend. Hi. Hello. It's good to see you, Emil, but please pretend like you didn't just catch him being anything other than the perfectly prepared scout? And please don't mind the mess that is his hair. Twigs and low-hanging bird nests... when you're not wearing a hood, what can you really do...]

[Vocabulary lessons are not Emil's strong suit just as much as sitting patiently to learn words isn't Lalli's-- so if most of these lessons wind up just being the two of them sitting around mangling words back and forth at each other with lots of gesturing, that's just how these things go. Emil doesn't mind it, and they make good enough progress anyway, and it's as good an excuse as any to wander off alone with Lalli and insist no one else bother them because they are very busy, thank you, no thanks Icelandic people, your company is not necessary.

Being off on their own is the point, ultimately, Emil finds. Sure, Mikkel and Sigrun are alright, and he has a decent time chatting with them every now and then, but Reynir's family is far too loud and he doesn't care for them at all. It's Lalli he actually wants to spend his time with, and even if his command of the Finnish language is still absolutely atrocious and his Swedish education skills are mediocre at best, at least they get to be alone together.

But not all the time. Every waking hour (and non-waking, whenever that happens, as it seems to at random) together would be too much, so when Sigrun ropes him into helping her do... something... Emil gives Lalli an apologetic smile and tells him in half-competent Finnish that he'll see him later. Even by the end of his wild afternoon with Sigrun he has no idea what they were actually doing, but it involved Mikkel and rolling a bunch of logs back and forth behind Reynir's house while Sigrun chattered about wanting to build about five different things.

So: useless, and it leaves Emil tired and a little ornery, so he slips out of sight of everyone to sneak around to the other side of the house and just relax— which is when Lalli nearly crashes into him, and Emil startles and blinks back at him for a moment. Uh--]

Lalli! There you are! [He already has his hands raised without thinking about it, ready to pluck twigs out of Lalli's hair, but something about his expression makes him pause.] Are you alright?

[He's kind enough to ask; even though they're completely safe from trolls and beasts here, he can't help but fret. Then he works his hair magic, brushing out twigs and leaves and other miscellany before he combs his fingers through Lalli's hair to put it back in some kind of order.]

Look at you, you look like you got in a fight with the forest.

[Ah, but he's endeared, and there's one of those smiles again. Right on cue.]

[Psh! He's perfectly fine, thank you, and also perfectly in control of everything, which is why he raises a hand to brush away Emil's. He can do this by himself! Alone. In his room. If he doesn't, uh, totally forget about it after taking a nap. Anyway, how does one say "I don't need" in Swedish... he remembers "hairdresser," but—

But. Something about the way Emil just up and smiles at him while fiddling with his hair causes his brain to short-circuit, and all of his Swedish words—hell, all of his Finnish words—slip right out of reach. What was he trying to say? What was he about to do? His hand is still reaching for the one smoothing down his hair, but he doesn't wave it away; instead, he catches Emil's wrist and curls his his fingers around it, all while keeping his wide eyes fixed on Emil's stupid, stupid face. Always fussing over him, always smiling at him, always making him feel the weirdest things...

Look, Lalli wasn't raised in an affectionate environment, but he knows what affection is; he's just never really felt the desire to show it. It normally seems so... pointless? Awkward, too, and yet tugging Emil's hand closer to his face, silently studying it for a moment before pressing his lips against Emil's palm—it almost feels natural. Definitely not something he'd do if he was Thinking, probably something that isn't simply a good friend thing to do, but hey, in the moment it seems like a thank-you and a stop-that all at once. Perfect.]

[Lalli not saying anything while Emil babbles on and fusses with his hair is nothing new, it's standard, but actually taking hold of his wrist instead of nudging him away or just ducking under his arms is very new and different. Emil trails of whatever nonsense he's been going on about, maybe a fun story about how Mikkel rolled a log over his foot and so is the worst person ever until tomorrow-- Lalli is doing something with his hand and that's kind of taking all of his mental faculties to process.

And not really very well, either.

He says,] What? You know—

[And whatever it is that Lalli supposedly knows will never be revealed because Lalli puts his mouth on Emil's hand and Emil can feel his brain, like, boil instantly. That is undeniably kissing his hand, Lalli is kissing his hand and suddenly he can't think of anything at all besides that, lips against his skin, warm and solid and really definitely happening--

He's holding a twig in his other hand still and snaps it, which genuinely startles him out of whatever spell the not-a-good-friend-thing palm kissing has him under, and he still doesn't have... words. But Emil can't keep his emotions off his face so he's already wide-eyed and slowly turning crimson, ah... help.]

Ah- [ahem] Um-- Lalli?

[As startling as snapping a stick in half is, it's hearing Emil say his name that ultimately causes things to fall back into place for Lalli. ...Well, crash back into place. One second he's calm, almost... detached as he wonders if people like kissing other people because they feel a pleasant jolt every single time; the next second, however, his eyes jerk over to Emil's strangely red face, and he suddenly realizes what he's holding, what his lips are touching, and he immediately tenses. Ah? Ah. ...Ah. This is... not good.

Not good at all, because he's messed up, hasn't he? He just did something phenomenally stupid, and now his one friend is looking at him like it's the first time he's ever seen him before. Uggggh. He blinks back at Emil for a few heartbeats longer, gradually lowering that hand before his frazzled brain tells him to just, like, chuck it right back at its rightful owner. Here! Take it! He's sorry! In fact, he even opens his mouth to actually say as much, but snaps it closed once more as the worry, the fear begins building up within him.]

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that icon is banned

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