laura (
appliances) wrote in
dumbshow2018-03-25 04:55 pm
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the critically acclaimed open post

assorted shitty people
optional prompts/ideas
☆ caught in the rain meme ☆ little steps meme ☆ affectionate physical contact meme ☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy ☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU ☆ melodrama is ultimate tier ★ SHIPPING AND FILTHY THINGS: ☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh ☆ things I won't rp: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character ☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty ☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen |
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But he won't. He looks up again.]
Well, with what, then?
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[He gestures, demonstrating where the few glasses would go.]
Whiskey, vodka, beer, tequila . . . get you used to what each one's like and what it means.
[Space out each shot generously, then then cut him off quick and give him an enormous amount of water, because he doesn't actually want the kid to die.]
This stuff's fine if you know what you want, but you don't have any idea what's in it. So you'd drink and you'd think it was fine, and you'd order another, and then two drinks later you'd be throwing up in the alley.
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You'd let me wind up puking in the alley... I'm not that bad, am I?
[Hmm, so...]
Is it time for shots?
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[Is all he says as he reaches beneath the counter and grabs a few shot glasses. Apparently it is, yes, though Ling's going to pay for them . . . but he has a tab, so it's fine. Tequila first, and so that demands the addition of lime and salt as well.]
You know how to do this?
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I've seen it done.
[Vote of confidence, see, he's good at this.]
I can do a shot!
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[He does not do a cool bartender trick, or at least he does not do it with tequila. Maybe later, because he does like showing off and he is good at that flashy shit. For now: a simple shot of tequila (only half full), along with some cut-up lime bits and a salt-shaker.]
All yours, kiddo.
[God, he hopes this isn't the night some cop wanders in. That'd be just the thing . . .]
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So the tequila is going well. He looks at this spread for about twenty seconds, not sure what to pick up first for the least horrible experience.]
Okay, I lied.
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No shit.
[The bar is empty, is the thing. Oh, Roa is somewhere in back, and undoubtedly there are a few people lurking around downstairs, but in the bar proper, it's just he and Ling. And while the kid is underage, he's not actually a kid, just not . . . twenty-one. Not too much younger than Greed himself, honestly.
So why not, is more or less the conclusion he comes to, why not, and that's all the go-ahead he's ever needed.
One hand darts forward, catching Ling's. He turns it over, the inside of his wrist up.]
The order's salt, drink, lime, right? Salt to stop the burn, lime as a chaser. So you just--
[He brings his wrist up to his mouth, his eyes locked on Ling's. He wants to come down to the shitty side of town? He wants to play at being a big man and strutting with the criminals? Fine. But he's got to learn actions have consequences.
It's a quick lick, nothing crude or overly sexual. But it's reddened tongue against pale skin; it's heat and wetness and nothing like the kid's ever experienced, and he'll be thinking of it long after he leaves the bar tonight.
Gently, a smirk on his face, he sets his hand down on the back. His fingers still have a tight grip there, keeping him in place, and he sprinkles a bit of salt.]
Think you can handle that?
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Salt-drink-lime. Why do people drink this shit if it burns and they have to eat salt, pure salt, first?
Ling shows up at the bar a few times in a month, maybe less, it depends, and he never thinks anything out of the ordinary will happen.
Salt, then— ugly girls on Tuesdays, and Ling has flirted around, stolen a kiss or two here and there, but the girls in his family's circles are soft and pretty and none of them can capture his attention like someone rude and loud and as far from soft as a person can be. Greed does whatever he wants and Ling should object to it, surely, pull his hand away and stop this stupid drink lesson and maybe even go home, but it's too late now; the spot on his wrist feels electric. His ears burn, embarrassed; all it takes is that? He's not fucking twelve.
Clearly, this is why people drink.]
Salt, drink, lime. [This is a bad idea, but what's life without a couple terminally bad ideas?] Okay.
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[It's a piss-poor idea to drink on the job, and Greed normally never entertains the thought. But it's a slow night, and he's off in an hour, and the kid looks so tempting right now, wide-eyed and flushed cheeks, oh, he can't resist.
His tongue slides against his finger (a little because he doesn't have room on his wrist thanks to those leather bracelets he wears; mostly because he wants Ling to turn red as he thinks about Greed's mouth and fingers), wetting it enough to take a little salt. It's been forever since he's done this, but it's a fun little ritual.
A glass is procured one-handed; tequila is poured (his own shot is a little bigger than Ling's, because he himself is a little bigger than Ling), and he flashes a grin.]
Remember to swallow.
[And with that absolutely-not-innuendo-no-sir advice given, he licks the salt off his finger and downs the shot.]
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Salt-drink-lime, salt-mistakes-lime, fingers-wrist-mouth, jesus—he sputters for a second when Greed tells him to swallow, then throws caution to the wind, licks the salt and throws back the shot.
Then he actually does cough, once, twice, not huge choking coughs but smaller, still embarrassing wheezes. The salt does nothing to help the burn, he understands now, and picks up the lime to all but shove the whole thing in his mouth out of pure frustration.
Well, he didn't die. He's quiet for a moment and then speaks around the piece of lime, because of course he does,] I paid real money not to taste anything.
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[And he'll get a kick out of things. He doesn't bother with a lime, too used to the taste to need it, and watches with no small amount of amusement as Ling sucks on it.]
This stuff'll knock you flat if you're not careful. It won't hit right away, though. So let's give it a few minutes, huh?
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Also he's going to eat this lime down to the rind like it's a fucking orange slice, just watch him.]
There's so much more waiting in drinking than I expected.
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[He gestures with his empty glass, indicating the empty bar.]
It's different when the place is packed. When you're thinking about other people, about whether that girl over there is gonna let you take her into the alley or if you've got competition from that asshole two seats down.
Then, it hits pretty quick. And you decide that you want another shot to get your courage up, and that's how I make money.
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Leaving aside that he's the least subtle person who comes into this bar except for maybe Greed himself, who has time for all of that when you can just ask—]
We already talked about how I'm not here to see girls. [Are there more limes and, important, can he eat them all? He's going to, in the absence of the cherries he so politely asked for.] Ah, but— the alley?
[That's gross... he's spoiled.]
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What, too good for it?
[He's spoiled, but that's no surprise. Idly, his movements carelessly graceful, he pours out some whiskey. He wants taste, he'll get taste. This stuff's a little more expensive, if only because he wants the kid to have a good first impression.]
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Haha, am I supposed to be politely embarrassed about not wanting to fool around in the alley out back? I don't think so.
[There is actually a limit to how many times he can be tricked into checking his privilege, and not wanting to fuck in a dirty alley is way past it.
Now, please do a cool bartender trick with the whiskey.]
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[He does, in fact, do a cool bartender trick, neatly flipping the bottle midair before pouring it into two glasses. He offers Ling a little grin, a touch leering.]
What, you want it in your feather bed all the time? Her flat on her back, and maybe you two can cuddle after?
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Anyway he still doesn't want alley head, gross!! Next to the trash!!]
I don't think you know me well enough to ask me about that! Does this drink have a many-step process?
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[He sets the bottle down, then puts his hand over both glasses, stopping Ling from taking his just yet.]
You think I don't know you well?
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Yes, pretty much that.
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Ling Yao, who wants to figure out some way to bump his family up so they're the head of the Xing clan instead of somewhere in the middle. Who comes down here almost every week, who buys a drink and doesn't touch it, who sits around and talks and talks and looks at everyone to see if they might be able to help him get a lead.
Who is eighteen, not twenty-three, and who needs to learn to get somebody better to do his dirty work when it comes to getting illegal shit. Who just had his first drink, who definitely hasn't fucked anyone . . .
[He takes his hand off the glasses, curling two fingers beneath his chin and tipping his head up. His eyes are darker, a smirk tugging at his lips.]
And who wouldn't say no if I took him to that alley.
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Ling has low standards for positive attention, see. Probably not hugged enough as a young cutthroat business baby. Even his shitty fake ID being so blatantly pointed out just makes him smile a little, stupid, and he's already leaned halfway across the bar in rapt attention (while Greed goes on about what a virgin he is, well, he's not embarrassed about that either!!) when Greed touches him again and he loses track of the whole thing for a second.
Oh, then, oh—] Uh—
[That's a mental image for the ages, something else to take home with him and think about for days, that makes him blush again now.]
You'd be surprised. [no. what? huh?] I don't see what the big deal is about the alley.
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(He's going to be surprised).]
And you won't til you get there.
[He releases him, pushing one of the shot glasses towards him.]
But you'll see. Now: swallow it fast.
[It's going to burn more afterwards then while it's in his mouth, stinging sharply, leaving him sputtering, but ah, well, you have to learn how to get used to whiskey.]
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So, whiskey, apparently. He gives Greed one more look, eyes narrowed, defiant even as he picks up the glass and downs it without nearly as much hesitation as the last one. Give him a second—
And there comes the coughing, Ling rubbing at his neck like that's going to help lessen the sting. He wants to look at pretty cocktails again instead of this...]
Don't you have any that taste good?
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this is my worst tag ever
im making those icon keywords
damn it
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