dumbshow | the critically acclaimed open post

the critically acclaimed open post

assorted shitty people

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU
☆ melodrama is ultimate tier
★ SHIPPING AND FILTHY THINGS:
☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ things I won't rp: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[When the man is horny on main for Bic pens... Ling squeezes more firmly, anyway.]

The rest is cool. You'll like it!

[He's horny on main for Ling, get it right. Ling getting his hands all up on his bare back is a turn-on, let him live.]

Yeah, yeah . . .

[Just keep touching him, babe.]

[After he puts the finishing touches on his heart and a few cool flames down on Greed's lower back, he tosses the pin elsewhere on the bed and skims his fingers down his spine. Hello.]

I think it looks great.

[Hello, and he arches his back, squirming pointedly, please keep doing that? Thanks. He's about three minutes away from flipping over and pinning Ling to the bed, but he wants to be sure his boyfriend's shitty work doesn't smear.]

Yeah, I bet you do. Take a picture.

[He does keep doing that, with relish. He presses his fingers into his hip and fingernails into his lower back, careful not to smudge his beautiful art.]

Oh! Okay— [Uh, wait, actually, he's like only wearing Greed's shirt--] Where is my phone?

[It's still on the bathroom floor with his pants, huh.]

[He doesn't bother answering, because this is just one mystery his boyfriend is going to have to solve on his own. He's too busy being horny on main, squirming and groaning in delight at that sting of pain.]

Just like that, sweetness--

[Greed, babe, his picture... Ling is just as horny on main, incidentally, but god— he's very horny on main for pictures and Greed is making his job- finding his goddamn phone- very difficult, squirming and making noise like that.

He's only getting a few more generous scratches before Ling moves to slide off the bed in hopes that his phone is indeed still on the bathroom floor— Sit tight for thirty seconds, then he'll be back to take all the pictures and squeeze all the hips he wants.]

[He doesn't whine wordlessly, but it's a close thing. Instead he sits up, stretching his arms over his head and then lazily getting to his feet. He'll lie back down in a moment, but he wants to at least yank off his jeans.

They . . . probably won't fuck? Maybe? Who knows. Sometimes it's more fun to tease than it is to do the deed properly, but either way, being clad in only his boxers is a pretty vital first step.]

You find it or what?

[Ling returns and holds up his phone- victorious!! The camera is already open, and he snaps a picture of Greed flopped there lazily. He loves this... more like this. He snaps another picture as he wriggles back into his previous seat on top of Greed's legs.

When does he get... an ass pic!!]

I'll make you my wallpaper!

[WHEN HE ASKS . . . but Greed finally rolls over, still beneath Ling, ignoring the entire point of Ling getting his phone in the first place.]

I mean, you can. But this view's a lot better, huh?

[Shirtless . . . hair down . . . teeth . . . not actually sharp, but whatever, he lorge, take a picture, babe, he's muscled.]

[Oh, okay, he wobbles a little but sits himself back upright again, angling his phone for the perfect hair-down-beefy-chest picture... nice... love it.]

It could be better. [Smile for him?? Or show him that dick, whatever, Ling is thirsty for both of these.]

[Excuse him? Greed actually sits up on his elbows, frowning slightly. Any picture of him is automatically a perfect picture, actually, but fine, if Ling wants something better, he'll get something better.

And then he won't get any at all.

Greed's hand lifts, fingertips brushing lightly against Ling's knee. It's a soft touch, barely there, only just felt. They trace upwards, gliding up his thigh, slipping beneath the hem of his shirt, nails only occasionally scraping against skin, the barest hint of pressure given before being taken away. Up his side, teasing against his ribs, going down and counting each joint of his spine.]

So tell me what you want.

[The words are innocuous enough. But they're the same ones he'd murmured right before he'd gotten to his knees; they're said low and intent, a seduction that goes hand in hand with the way he's gliding the tips of his fingers over Ling.]

[Oh- Ling lowers his phone and inches his leg closer to Greed's hand, a soft noise escaping him when the touch leaves again. Come back here, jerk. He leans down to kiss him as he puts a hand on Greed's wrist so he'll stop being so- taunting? So rude?]

I want to take a picture of you, first.

[A real good one, that is; his other hand slides between them to tug on the hem of Greed's boxers. These have to go, whether or not this goes any further, he needs a dick pic weeks ago.]

[At least he stops his teasing, though now his hand is trapped against Ling's thigh, heavy with temptation, which might be a little worse. All he'd have to do is just slide it over a little . . .

But ah, what excellent initiative, and he lifts his hips, letting his shorts slide down to his thighs.]

And when do I get a picture like this from you, huh?

[The hand is torturous in its own way, but Ling kept it there himself, so it's torturous in a way he more or less asked for. But heavy and warm, rougher skin against the smoothness of his thigh, so very close to touching him further—

Cool, cool cool cool, he's going to take this picture now. He has to sit back just a little to get the full picture, Greed stripped and stunning, his own knees and the hem of Greed's shirt in the bottom of the frame. It's a very good picture, enough that he admires it for a second before turning the phone around to show Greed. Look babe, it's you, naked. Love it!!

As for Ling pictures--] Whenever you want! I'm free now.

[Oh, that is a good picture, and he admires it for a moment before grabbing the phone and poking around on it. It's an expensive phone, which means it takes him a few seconds to figure out what the fuck he's even doing.]

You're gonna take another of me soon.

[When he's fully hard and really tempting looking. And Ling is certainly giving him that kind of picture, though it seems as though he's going to have to get himself to that state.]

With the shirt on first, I think. Smile, sweetheart--

[He's going to take the picture before he has a chance to, because Ling looks lovely all flushed and just a little frustrated.]

[Can Greed's phone even receive picture messages? Are they going to share Ling's phone to look at dirty pictures? That's one kind of couple's activity...

So is this: bereft of his phone, Ling blinks a few times at the sudden picture before sliding his hands down Greed's chest, toward his hips again, grazing over his skin lightly with his nails and digging just a little harder when he reaches his hips proper. Greed will have to ask him very nicely if he wants more than that. Ling will go get the Bic pen.]

I don't think I was smiling for that one.

Yeah, no, you definitely weren't. That doesn't mean you didn't look good, though.

[Any picture of Ling is a good picture, frankly, although that's another thing he'll never let slip while he's sober and/or fully awake. But Greed arches his back, pushing his hips up into that touch, fully unaware he's not going to get any more unless he asks for it.

Anyway. Back to taking photos.]

Shirt off. Now you can smile.

[Say it, it's cute. Ling hums, shifting to pull the shirt over his head and drop it to the side, then puts his hands on his hips and beams.

Here he is, Greed, this is the boy you chose. This goofy wonder.]

Okay, I'm ready this time!

[His beautiful, perfect, dorky man, who grins in some kind of way every time he gets the least bit thirsty. It's not a smoulder; it's not a sexy gaze. It's just a giddy, delighted sort of grin with just a hint of filth in it.

It's utterly ridiculous, and he can't decide if he's more inclined to laugh or kiss him when he sees it.

But hey, at least he'll have plenty of time to figure it out, because there's another photo being taken. At least his boy looks undeniably good shirtless, there's that.]

I oughta just film you all night.

[In Ling's defense, he'd look a little strange trying to do a seductive smolder; the unrepentant thirsty delight suits him the way smooth, calm and collected seduction does not at all. The goofy grin is eternal.

He holds still long enough for Greed to take the picture, then his hands are back on his skin, sliding up his sides as he leans down to hover over him, still grinning. Hello.]

Maybe I'll go back to sleep. [he's not fucking going back to sleep.]

[Hello, and he squirms, an unspoken order to keep doing that. More, please, although so suddenly up close is pretty fucking great too. The phone is tossed to the side as he grips the back of his neck, tugging him down so he can nip at his lip.]

No you won't. You wanna know why?

[His fingers slide up, pushing through his hair. He loves Ling's hair, frankly. He loves it neatly tied back and when it's all loose and wavy; he loves grabbing it and he loves just stroking it. And this time is no different, except--]

Is your hair still wet?

[Unspoken orders don't count, Ling will do whatever he wants. Right now that includes being distracted by Greed's fingers in his hair, leaning into that touch with a pleased shiver. That's nice, he can keep doing that and maybe Ling will think about putting his hands all over him again in a few seconds, ah—]

Yes? You noticed it's about two feet long before now, right?

[He has So Much Hair, babe.]

How the hell is it still wet, we took a shower hours ago.

[Like, yes, it's long, but that doesn't mean it should still be wet, right? He frowns vaguely as he pushes his fingers through it again, shaking it out a little.]

You didn't let me dry it! You carried me back here so quickly...

[Very adorable, loved the cuddling, but his fucking hair, Greed? This attention to his hair doesn't feel as good - which isn't to say that it's bad, but it's Greed learning that more hair stays wet longer as if he's never encountered the concept of "wet" before in his life.]

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