dumbshow | the critically acclaimed open post

the critically acclaimed open post

assorted shitty people

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU
☆ melodrama is ultimate tier
★ SHIPPING AND FILTHY THINGS:
☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ things I won't rp: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Noooo... [No, love him!! Rather than cling, he slides bonelessly to the floor, now half under the table and with his head resting against Greed(ory)'s knees. Babe, why...]

You're touchy. I just wanted to say it once!

[This, he says as he gropes blindly around the table for his abandoned takeout box. If he's down here in punishment zone, he might as well have cold Chinese food.]

[NO CHINESE FOOD . . . he nudges the box right in the center of the table. At least Ling is allowed to drape against his knee.]

Yeah, and once becomes twice becomes every time you want to score a cheap shot, and sooner or later somebody'll hear you.

[His hungry hand pauses - and then he sort of turns it around to wiggle a finger at Greed, like his hand is looking at him. Go with it.]

They don't know? None of them?

[Surely this can't be the best kept secret... surely not!!]

[Why . . . why is his boyfriend like this . . . and yet he gets it? It works? So clearly they're meant for each other.]

Of course they don't know. What the hell do you think I did? Bust them out of that lab and say, hey, guys, follow me, by the way, my dad called me Greg but you can call me Greed!

[He'll keep emoting with his hand, watch his hand shrug right now.]

It isn't a bad name! It just isn't you. No one's going to think less of you because your name isn't really Greed. [They know that already, babe... they're halfway there.]

They're not gonna think less of me if they're told it isn't Greed. They are going to think less of me if it's fucking Gregory.

[He says it with a great deal of contempt. He really, really doesn't like that name, babe. But at least he pats the emoting hand a bit grudgingly, much like he might with a petulant cat.]

Have you ever heard of a gangster named Greg? No you haven't.

[He wiggles his fingers again, trying his damnedest to take hold of Greed's hand and keep it there. This is a strange insecurity, but okay.]

They respect you too much to care about that! [Sure, some of them may gently roast him, but only maybe once.] How many gangsters do you think I've heard of?

I assume you researched the hell out of them when you figured out I was more than just a bartender.

[Hello, now they're holding hands again . . . with Ling flopped on the floor, his head on his knee, his stomach most likely growling.]

Right?

Lan Fan did.

[Please, does Ling do his own work when someone else can do it and give him the vital summary? Of course not. Also, don't call him out for being a sneak...?? It's fine, he's in a gang now.]

She didn't mention any Gregs, though, so maybe you're right.

Mmm.

[He knows he's right. He also knows he's got to quiz Lan Fan later on to see just how much she'd sniffed out about him in particular, because those are the kinds of things he likes to know.]

Hey. You really gonna paint a heart and all?

[Oh, she probably has a dissertation on him by now. She'll be happy to share! Maybe. Ling squeezes his hand.]

Of course. Should I not?

Mm. Maybe not. We're not running that kind of club-- at least, not right now. You can put our names, though. Sign it like you're the co-owner.

[He kind of is. Fiscally, anyway, if not legally.]

[Yeah he like, actually is funding most of this, thanks for remembering.]

Even in the blacklight paint?

Well, you gotta think about what kinda vibe we want for this place. Lovi--

[HA HA WAIT FUCK NO--]

Just-- just, you know, hearts all over the place, it doesn't exactly scream cool, you know? Nobody's gonna want to go to a nightclub that promotes love. That's not what nightclubs are for.

[Babe!!! He loves you!! Let him draw dopey hearts everywhere!!]

It could be. [hmm.....] I'll paint one on you, then.

[Not in a sexy way, though, just on his arm or something.]

Yeah, all right.

[Definitely in a sexy way. Is there such a thing as edible paint? Probably. He'll look it up.

And he reaches for the Chinese food, grabbing the box and passing it down.]

You could draw a lot on me, actually.

[Give him a pen and five minutes, he'll make it un-sexy. But ah, he's so loved, being fed... under the table. He continues to make no move to actually get up.]

That's true! I'd have plenty of room. [he's.... large.]

So finish eating and come draw on me.

[With . . . he glances around. Do they have anything sexy? Syrup? Whipped cream? Talk about kinks Ling would love; he's pretty sure the whole thing would be done in about thirty seconds, but still.

Anyway! Even if all he can find is a pen, it'd still be cute to have Ling draw on him. Probably.]

[Sex syrup only, breakfast syrup he would just drink and fall asleep. Maybe.

But sure, he'll inelegantly shove the last of his food in his face and move to crawl out from under the table and get to his feet. He's here... and chewing, give him a second--]

Okay, let's go! I'm surprised you don't have more tattoos already...

[Get a Ling Drawing(tm) tattooed on, that's true love.]

Not my style, mostly.

[Beyond the one on his hand, but that's different. With a little yawn he yanks at his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it . . . somewhere. On the floor? Probably. He's just gonna flop belly-down on the bed, come climb on him.]

[Gladly; he will find a pen probably dropped during paperwork time before he follows Greed back to bed and climbs over him to straddle his legs and survey his... canvas. What if he just admired his back instead of drawing pictures? He runs his fingers up Greed's sides, considering. Brainstorming.]

What should I draw?

You're the artist.

[But he says it lazily, his back arching as he bites back a satisfied purr. Those light fingers up and down his sides feel wonderful, and he'd honestly be fine with nothing more than that.]

Mm. Something cool.

[Well, he'll keep doing that while he thinks about doodling. A stick figure Ling in a heart, that sounds like a great idea--]

I'll draw some flames!

[Around himself in a heart.]

Yeah, all right . . .

[He says it lazily, turning his head to nose against the pillow.]

Just on my back, though, yeah?

[Again: that's very cute and Ling loves him very much. He leans forward to ruffle his hair, then goes back to his masterpiece. The gentle scribbling is his ponytail being added...]

Why? You don't own any shirts with sleeves?

god

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