dumbshow | i have cut to the feeling on repeat

[ the effort is what counts.

joe stands there, marveling at the thing, reading over the display menu with a lazy grin. it's truly a work of art. after a moment, he reaches for daichi's hand and actually uses it to begin guiding daichi's index finger to the screen. vanilla soda please! ]

You were right.

[ he's so fascinated. so fascinated he couldn't use his own hand. germs? something? there has to be an excuse. ]

[Joe????]

Why wouldn't I be— what are you doing...? [He... will press the vanilla flavor for him, but also, why? Joe is losing his mind, one vanilla icon press at a time.

But Daichi is also twelve, and very much not pulling his hand away like he's been burned or something this time. What level of intimate hand holding does this count as??]

Hellooo, earth to Joe? Are you still in there?

[ he looks as if he's spacing out, stuck in thought.

admittedly, his hand is warm in daichi's and it's been awhile since he's held hands with someone, even for something as mundane as this. hell, there might even be a slight squeeze to daichi's hand before a true smile breaks through and.

and could this be? could he finally be getting his head out of his ass and confessing in a fast food joint - ]

We're going to mix all the flavors.

[ god save the burger joint. ]

[Daichi hardly holds hands with anyone outside of buddy system field trip type situations - you know, when he was actually 12 for real, so this after the rest is kind of doing weird flippy things to his heart that he can't say he knows what to do with. He's no stranger to the inner workings of passion...!!

But for Joe, really? This is his taste now? That thought is cut short when Joe smiles - oh yeah, definitely. goddamn it. - and Daichi is nodding before really listening to what the plan is.]

Okay, sounds... waaaaiit, why? You might as well just drink sugar.

[ why he asks. why! joe doesn't actually know the reasoning behind that besides the fact that he's just insanely curious what all those flavors will create. ]

Eh, where'd your sense of adventure go?

[ the hand remains firmly grasped around daichi's and is slowly pressing the pour option on the machine. there's a drizzle of vanilla! ... now to guide it to the cherry.... ]

[A mess. They're going to make a mess. A primordial sugar ooze.]

I'm adventurous! I'm sooo down for adventure. When it isn't going to turn my insides into candy, anyway...

[Here's an idea: only Joe drinks the bad idea drink. Great! That's settled; Daichi dutifully selects the cherry flavor.]

[ he was just going to sample it! not consume it in its glorious, glucose entirety. have some faith!

after the cherry comes the orange and then the grape. this is a hideous mess already but joe seems delightfully entertained by guiding daichi's hand around on the screen, watching the drink contents turn grosser and grosser. ]

Only a few more. Heh, I wonder if there's a Challenge built around this? Or a Medal? I wonder if we could convince Ronnie or Yams to try this?

[Wait, wait. There's an intriguing idea.]

Or both. Can you imagine either of them on a sugar high? [Because this monster drink will definitely knock out anyone who takes more than a couple generous gulps. Now Daichi's kind of getting into it, nudging Joe's hand over to add strawberry and then watermelon, for originality. These should never be soda flavors.]

Maybe Yamato will loosen up. We'd be heroes.

[ only in sprite. only in sprite would those flavors ever work well! ]

Let's do it. Let's deliver it straight to the Chief's Office.

[ he's aggressively slamming the watermelon button for posterity! and of course that means holding daichi's hand harder to accomplish that. ]

We get his favorite bunny to deliver it and presto! He'll never suspect a thing.

[Is there just a normal lemonade here? That ought to go in too. Really spice things up. Allow Daichi to provide.]

Ooh, good idea! I'll shoot him an email... after this.

[After this very intense handholding. Also, he's still getting a burger even if it takes another half hour.]

Maybe we should have put ice in first...

[ burgers are great. terrific. what if they held hands during the burgers. ]

Huh. Well, the ice would dilute it. That'd be too generous.

[ JOE. either way, he's going to smirk at the lemonade and then go for the grape soda. whoa there buddy. that's escalating far too quickly. ]

Eh.... the guy at the counter is glaring at us. I think we're almost done anyway?

[They could do that. They might make another mess and have to add this fast food joint to the list of places they can never go back to, but would it be worth it?]

Huh? What guy? [He mercifully remembers to stop pressing buttons before he looks away from the machine to the counter... oh, that guy. Oh yeah, this is a public establishment and not a hold hands and plan sweet pranks establishment... Daichi gives that guy a sheepish look and waves his free hand at him a little, like that will make them less obnoxious.]

Maaaybe we should order our stuff to go.

[ crisis averted with that little hand wave. you're a genius, daichi.

joe just laughs under his breath and squeezes daichi's hand one more time before he lets go. ]

Lemme go sweet talk him and order our food. Finish up our science experiment and then we can head to my place.

[ and just like that, he heads over to the counter!! to order some food!! ]

[Hand squeeze: nice. Science experiment task: will do. "We can head to my place": uh...

Handle it, Daichi. Be an adult. An adult currently mixing a dozen kinds of fizzy drink (and lemonade) into one cup. He makes a vague noise of... agreement? Or something like it, hastily grabbing the correct lid for this monster drink and a straw. Two straws? Yamato might actually drink it if he can get Hibiki to show up with two straws...

Two straws. Now, loitering.]

[ two straws. the mixed drink of hell is how yamato and hibiki will end up swapping spit for the first time. cool.

joe returns roughly five minutes later with a large bag of food. it likely has a couple of burgers and a few orders of fries. he seems entirely pleased with himself and he just grins, eyes flitting between the cup and daichi. ]

Let's go before it gets cold. Dunno about you, but cold fries are criminal.

[Daichi is a good wingman, okay? From a distance, where Yamato can't glare at him.

Anyway, they can head out, and they'll make it out of the place before Daichi remembers his one kind of, almost smooth move-] Wait, I said this was my treat. Joe! You did it again!

[menace??!!]

[ HE WAS HOPING YOU'D FORGET.

he just smirks, looking over the top of his glasses to the teen beside him. ]

Did what again?

[ look, he's going to just lightly pat you on the back as they walk??? ]

[No?? Let him have this one thing, he's going to get all matter-of-pride about it soon.]

You know what you did! Can't believe I got tricked thanks to this probably toxic soda...

[grumble mumble show him your place, joe]

[ oh, he will show you his place all right. with burgers and fries involved. yeah! ]

Wouldn't say toxic. Maybe grease-eating?

[ he isn't sure. he isn't a man of science. either way, he's going to continue leading them to his apartment which all things considered isn't too far away. ]

We should get a recording of Yams trying it.

[Yeah, let him get all up in that place. With fast food.]

If it can burn grease off dishes, it's just as bad. And what are we going to do, sneak in and hide around the corner? There's probably... super secret private Yamato security.

[Like alarms at his feet at all times!!]

[ how romantic. ]

Nope! No need! We'll have our own cameraman.

[ he means hibiki. take one for the team, bunny. take one for the team and capture this glorious moment on camera?! but what if yamato likes it. what if that twisted man enjoys this diabetes causing concoction? ]

Here we are! There's no place like home~ [ STOP SINGING. ]

Just how many things are we going to ask him to do...?

[Poor Hibs, stuck with these losers. Just kidding, he'll make a fucking AMV out of it, no doubt.

But here they are... Joe's... apartment. Fast food is getting way more personal. Be gentle, he's never been to another man's apartment to eat fries before.]

[ there's something poetic about eating fries and ... meat at another man's place?

either way, joe jostles around for his keys once they're at his apartment and he unlocks the door. using his foot, he nudges it open and heads inside with the bags of food.

of course, the place is a lot clearner and more modern than the mess known as joe. it's pretty fancy for a guy that orders suits from overseas? anyways, he heads to the kitchen to grab a few plates and napkins. ]

Mi casa as You Casa.

[ JOE..... ]

[Look, Daichi lives with his parents, so anything not a total dump would have been really impressive. But this is, like, actually impressive? Like Joe is actually a real person with a job that he goes to and makes money to afford this apartment??

Surely there's a catch. Daichi stops to wiggle off his shoes politely and, uh- well he just leaves Joe's hat on an end table or something, then follows after him to the kitchen. A Nice kitchen. What the hell.]

I don't think that's how it goes, dude.

Sure it does!

[ no, it doesn't. he begins unpacking the food and setting it out on the kitchen's island, humming to himself some tune or another. when he's done, he pulls up one of the bar stools drops his elbows to the counter. ]

Maaan, it's been forever since I've had meat.

[ god save the queen. ]

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