daichi shijima (
keeptrucking) wrote in
dumbshow2017-10-01 10:39 pm
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i have cut to the feeling on repeat
[Scene: two losers go to a shopping mall, because Daichi was wandering around looking disappointed in himself yet again and Joe has Better Ideas Than That. Daichi can't remember if he was actually asked if he wanted to be here, or if he was simply dragged along for the ride again and couldn't refuse once they were already at the mall. Joe just happens so much at once, despite all of Daichi's half-hearted complaining, so... here they are.
At the mall. Daichi is, at least, not sulking about whatever he was feeling inadequate about before. Instead:]
Man, my feet hurt... [Here, he affects his best (worst) Joe Voice:] Let's go shopping, Daichi! It'll be fun! —It's been nearly three hours and all we have to show for it is one magazine. C'mon, you could have done this without me.
[This menace... Why is he here, Joe? Why??]
At the mall. Daichi is, at least, not sulking about whatever he was feeling inadequate about before. Instead:]
Man, my feet hurt... [Here, he affects his best (worst) Joe Voice:] Let's go shopping, Daichi! It'll be fun! —It's been nearly three hours and all we have to show for it is one magazine. C'mon, you could have done this without me.
[This menace... Why is he here, Joe? Why??]
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Can we finish eating without you sticking fries in my face? Please?
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[ no, he's kidding. maybe. anyway, he's going to nod. he's hungry so he'll throw in the white flag for now.
for now. ]
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[grumble mumble..... here, he'll go back to the counter to continue eating.
And he supposes he should let go of Joe's hand, too, so bye hand.]
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he knows a lot about self-restraint actually. a lot. but he goes back to his stool and eats his burger like a mature adult, keeping his hands and food objects to himself.
you're welcome.
isn't this such a nice meal? in his apartment? alone? ]
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He's hyper-aware of Joe sitting there behaving like a grownup now, so he'll just focus... intensely... on his burger. Maybe a stray fry. Delicious.]
...Did we get drinks for us...? [that was all a blur of sweet pranks at the end, did they fuck up.]
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Nope.... Oops?
[ joe sets his mostly eaten burger down and tosses the most apologetic look ever to dawn his features. ]
There's some soda and water in the fridge. And beer. Take whatever you want.
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I can't drink beer... [The law, Joe!!! He'll get up and take a normal soda that isn't 50 sodas crying out for vengeance in one big gulp cup, thanks.
And while he's here,] What do you want to drink?
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[ no soda for him. ever again. and you can drink beer if you want you nerd. you are in the joe's abode. ]
Thaaaaanks, Daichi.
[ oh my god please don't do that. ]
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Joe can have his water, Daichi slides it over as he sits back down.]
Don't say it like that. Drink your water.
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[ if only joe was capable of not telling jokes. no wonder him and hibiki get along so well.
he uncaps his water and takes a swig.
and you know what? you know what time it is?
it's fry in the face time one last time. ]
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Daichi's peaceful soda drinking is interrupted by another goddamn fry, and everyone wants to know: what stupid anime noise does he make?!
It's an eep. He actually says "eep," out loud and loudly, at a fry in his face. It was surprising!! Watch him spill soda on his uniform, now, as a bonus.] Joe...
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joe blinks, long and slow, and then is hurrying to grab some napkins he had fetched earlier. in a flash of arms, he begins trying to dry and soak up all that soda on his uniform.
he didn't expect a fry to be so startling?!? ]
Eh, eh, this won't do at all. You're going to need something dry.
[ ........ ]
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But wow, now there's all this Joe up in his space again. That's fine, it's totally his fault Daichi spilled soda all over himself like a child... don't speak. He's speaking. Don't.
Daichi is holding his fucking scarf out of the way, so at least that much of him will remain dry. Priorities. Now then—]
Uh, what?
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[ phrasing? ]
Lemme go grab something. Hold please.
[ he's to drop the collection of napkins unceremoniously on daichi's lap. and then stand up to head to his bedroom to grab a light grey pullover. he has clothes aren't suits?! by gosh. ]
Ta-da! [ he says as he returns. ]
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At least not until the Bizarre Reality of Joe trying to dress him in his clothes comes back to stare him in the face. Huh, it really isn't a suit.]
You—hmm. [he'd object, but he sure is wet and sticky. nnngh. give him the shirt.] Do you even have laundry machines in here...?
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[ the woes of being an adult: using the washing machine in the basement. still, he dangles the sweatshirt in daichi's face. ]
Eh... Sorry about the soda. Really.
[ it wasn't his intention. for once. ]
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Yeah, yeah... don't worry about it. Where's your bathroom?
[He will not strip in the kitchen.]
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either way, he points down the hall. there's only three doors: a bedroom, a closet, and a bathroom. good luck finding it by process of elimination. ]
Don't get lost.
[ JOE PLEASE. ]
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You only have one hallway!
[He's going, please clean up after him while he finds the right room and changes into your sweatshirt. It's just too big for him enough to be noticeable, embarrassing. He'll reemerge in a couple minutes with his soda-soaked clothes "folded" up in a ball, and twists of twists, he's taken off his scarf voluntarily. What a mystery.]
I'm wearing more of your clothes today than I expected.
[inner thoughts, daichi]
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by that time, joe has taken off his suit jacket and hung it up on the coat rack. he's just down to some nice slacks and a dress shirt and he's cleaning up the rest of the mess with as much grace as a man like joe can possess. when daichi remerges, he glances up and a grin ebbs its way onto his face. ]
Not too shabby. .... And how much were you expecting?
[ zero filter akie. ]
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Also: uh.]
N-no, that's not what I meant! [daichi, take a breath.] I mean—none? You kept throwing your hat on me, and now this...
[Please tell him where he can put this laundry before he dissolves.]
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joe doesn't dwell on it and instead heads over to gracefully collect the soiled clothes from daichi's clutches. it's a perfect excuse for more non-so-accidental hand grazing.
had you missed it? ]
Eh. Who knows. Maybe it's all a clever ruse.
[ .... oh good he stopped there - ] To get you out of your clothes.
[ he didn't fucking stop. he meant that in a non perverse way, but there's very few ways that it can be taken. ]
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...Again? [Like, okay, he hears and acknowledges the dirty way to take that statement because his mind definitely went there first and with bells on, but also he spent like half the afternoon in a changing room. Joe was there.
Joe, is this a fetish.]
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Again.
[ he isn't entirely sure why he's agreeing to that but okay? either way, he's going to just grin and grab the plates that have the remainder of their food on them. annnd steer them both towards the small living room nearby to finish the food. ]
Hey now, I'm surprised. It looks good on you.
[ why are they like this? ]
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Thanks. You really know how to flatter a guy.
[Sigh, Joe. Well, Daichi's a lot more at ease flopping down on whatever couch Joe has than he was being a fool in the kitchen, so that's a plus.]
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god fuck balls shit dam
embarrassing
why are half my accounts starting with a
clearly you're A+
no you're not allowed to be smooth in daichi's account
oh then i take it back :((( ur just lame
that pun.....
puns aren't smooth so i'm allowed
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