dumbshow | i have cut to the feeling on repeat

i have cut to the feeling on repeat

[Scene: two losers go to a shopping mall, because Daichi was wandering around looking disappointed in himself yet again and Joe has Better Ideas Than That. Daichi can't remember if he was actually asked if he wanted to be here, or if he was simply dragged along for the ride again and couldn't refuse once they were already at the mall. Joe just happens so much at once, despite all of Daichi's half-hearted complaining, so... here they are.

At the mall. Daichi is, at least, not sulking about whatever he was feeling inadequate about before. Instead:]

Man, my feet hurt... [Here, he affects his best (worst) Joe Voice:] Let's go shopping, Daichi! It'll be fun! —It's been nearly three hours and all we have to show for it is one magazine. C'mon, you could have done this without me.

[This menace... Why is he here, Joe? Why??]

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[ the pinching stops. ]

You realize if you do it repeatedly, in a row, it loses it's oomph, right?

[ he just said that. i'm so sorry. ]

Speak for yourself!

[he's talking about grabbing at his clothes all the time, but maybe there's enough context for that since he still is doing this with the hood up. horrible.]

What do you want me to do?

[he's open to suggestions.]

Heh. Kiss me and find out.

[ whoa that's bold. okay, it's not that bold but it's a suggestion of sorts. he does manage to reach up and take the hoodie off. sorry, no hoodlums. he was only joking about that "interest" of his.

enjoy a renewed barrage of kisses down you neck, daichi. too slow!]

Oh—h-hey!

[you didn't even give him a chance! this is cheating! he shrugs that shoulder up to block another round of neck kisses, now that he's been challenged. come here and kiss him, you punk. he will go so far as grabbing for Joe's face to make this happen.]

[ he'll allow it. perhaps it was the master plan all along? who knows. joe doesn't know. but he goes along with it and leans in the rest of the way for the kiss. he'll table the neck kisses until daichi feels adequately victorious in this "challenge."

look he'll even let him tongue him if he REALLY WANTS? ]

[Daichi was given a specific set of instructions and apparently those instructions were garbage all along. one day, sitting down and learning to use grown up words will happen. one day.

not today. this is the day for kissing, pulling Joe in as close as he can to make sure he really gets the point across—that being that he really wants to get his smooch on, of course. truthfully, he wants less tongue and more delicate romance, but he'll settle for letting go of Joe's face to move that hand down to explore his chest again. he didn't get to finish, before...]

[ tongue is overrated anyway. the romance and chest-touching is much better in his book. so he'll keep it all lip and occasional teeth until daichi does otherwise. the hand on his chest surprises, though, and he jerks slightly under daichi's hand before he relaxes again. right. he's shirtless and that's a very warm and very soft hand. right.

please enjoy that rare lapse in cool confidence of your new boyfriend, daichi. especially because there was a very quick intake of breath into the kiss. ]

[sooner or later Joe will stop pretending he's calm and collected all the time. there's no chance he can hide that reaction from Daichi, who is literally touching him with several parts of his body, but Daichi mercifully doesn't stop to tease him for it or even give him another smirk. no, he's not that petty. he can't help smiling a little against Joe's lips, but besides letting his other hand fall - daringly - to Joe's knee, where he just squeezes in what he hopes is a reassuring manner, he doesn't make a whole thing out of that little slip.

but rest assured he is going to remember it and use it well for as long as he can. wild sex appeal.]

[ wild sex appeal, oh okay. the sad part is that that may actually be true in the long run. just not yet. there is zero sex appeal from the hoodie-wearing-dingus in front of him. he's cute and endearing as hell, though.

the hand on his knee is indeed reassuring but... but it's distracting as hell. in the good kind of way. so have an added pressure to the kiss that wasn't there before.

okay so maybe a tiny bit of sex appeal shit. don't you put this man in this position. ]

[what position would he like to be in? despite the sex appeal comments Daichi can't quite wrap his head around the idea that he, as a person, as a real human being, is actually sexually appealing... "kind of adorable" is the best he can do, when it comes to himself.

so Joe's continued response to his total guesswork at intimacy is pretty encouraging, actually. like, more than someone with more self-confidence would find it. as usual his initial response is a cheerful and approving hum, leaning into the kiss and then—further. or thinking about further.

the angle's going to be weird for a minute here, but if he sort of shifts up and over a bit, is it clear that he's feeling bold enough to get himself into Joe's lap. is it. don't make him use words.]

[ it isn't clear at the outset, now. he just thinks daichi is squirming to do something? get at his neck? take off the hoodie? something? but then it does become clear that is in fact what daichi wants. to get closer. in his lap.

he'll try and assist him in that endeavor, arms moving down to loosely loop around his waist. and then there's a tug forward all while maintaining the kiss.

man good thing for sweatpants. thank god for sweatpants seriously.]

[there's a point for teamwork, if nothing else. getting into Joe's lap without having to stop and talk about it is the greatest accomplishment of the evening, in Daichi's opinion, and his opinion is very important as the guy crawling into laps.

but good, even though his heart might beat clean out of his chest at this rate, he sure did take this giant leap for Daichikind. a softer noise than his usual escapes him when Joe tugs on him, thanks Joe, but with just a little more clumsy-awkward maneuvering, he settles himself quite comfortably. here, in Joe's lap.

great. he doesn't need to squeeze any more knees, freeing up both hands now to press warmly against Joe's chest. just steadying himself, no big.]

[ teamwork!! but really, it's so much warmer and closer than just awkwardly half-sitting, half-laying on the bed, scooting closer. this feels intentional and deliberate.

so it's a lot more natural when joe's hand strays up to cup daichi's cheek as they kiss, fingers playing with the ends of his hair intermittently. and it's a lot more natural when joe sighs heavily against the kiss, pleased and utterly relaxed at the rhythm they've (finally) found after earlier fumbling.

but about that hoodie. questionable. his hand that isn't on daichi's face is still at his waist and kind of just thumbing the material. ]

[that's Daichi: problem-solver. this is leagues above trying to meet each other in the middle without establishing where or what "the middle" actually is.

he's happy with it, and with Joe, and Joe seems to pretty much agree with him on those points—so, good. despite the slow and steady mood he can't help but feel kind of giddy, lightheaded on his own (minimal) forwardness and Joe's reaction to him doing it. he could be content to stay just like this for a while yet—

but the hoodie. it takes him a moment, distracted as he obviously is, to piece together that Joe isn't trying to get his hands up under it anymore and, oh, okay. he's not that dense. he pulls away from the kiss, chews his lip a bit, considers.

yeah... why not? he's actually halfway into taking the hoodie off all by himself before he pauses. ah.] Yeah?

[yes, he should be taking clothes off for the third time today?? just to be really sure.]

[ it's a theme running through the day. joe gets daichi out of his clothes the saga. the trilogy coming to a theater near you.

it's almost endearingly adorable that daichi stops halfway through removing it. honestly, joe should have just taken it off for him, but there's still that foundation that's being built and he's not stepping on any toes. he's dumb but he's not that dumb. so the gay chicken continues but a lot better than the burger joint and the couch saga. ]

Less thinking.

[ his now freed hand lightly taps daichi's forehead to accent this point. listen, body heat is a wonderful thing and he's certain daichi will prefer it. this is all about optimal coziness. duh???? ]

[and somehow he's done it all without taking any of Daichi's clothes off for him. a genius, that Joe.

Daichi frowns for about half a second at the tap on his head, but he pulls the hoodie the rest of the way over his head anyway. there's another brief moment where he pauses just looking at Joe, now shirtless and in his lap, but it passes with a grin that's not quite shy and not quite brimming with confidence, either. a getting there grin.

he tosses the hoodie somewhere else. bye, hoodie.]

Ask anyone, not thinking's the one thing I'm really good at.

[ okay, no. if daichi is going to sit in joe's lap, shirtless - and you know what, for a dork he does have sex appeal holy shit? - he needs to stop that self-deprcaating garbage. joe instantly frowns and he turns serious for a moment.

there's a hand on daichi's face again and it's firmly cupping his cheek to try and make certain their eyes are meeting. he's aware daichi was just making a joke, continuing the theme, but he can't help but feel like he's made too many useless jokes for the night. ]

Hey, hey. You're great at a lot of things. [ oh my god who are you joe? is this joe? ]

[oh, hey. Daichi blinks - it really was just a joke, Joe, come on - and hmm. he doesn't know what to say immediately; sure, he's good at some things—driving! and... community service! but he's never been able to shake the feeling that there's something about him that will always be inherently less impressive than the rest of their friends. like an actual, immutable thing about him no matter how much he actually does improve himself. there are plenty of reasons...

but, uh, Joe probably doesn't want to be convinced that Daichi's casual self-deprecation is totally correct. he glances away from Joe's gaze, but covers his hand with one of his own. hmm.]

C'mon... do we have to talk about this right now?

[ he knows it may be a mood-killer, but he's not really interested in just hooking up. he's already made it pretty clear - and daichi, too - that his is a "thing." a relationship. boyfriend and boyfriend. so the feelings are going to be an inevitable part of the package. ]

Ehh.... Not talk about it, maybe, but I want you to know it's true.

[ as in, he will definitely keep harping on this issue and not let it go in the future. but he wants daichi to know now, right this second, that joe is in this one hundred percent and is actually invested in daichi's happiness. both boyfriend and non-boyfriend related. ]

[it's embarrassing, that's for sure - but he kiiind of walked right into it on his own, so alright. he asked for the mood-killing. it's not that he doesn't appreciate Joe's effort or support or whatever else, either, because he does!

but goddamn it, he literally just took his shirt off. he shuts his eyes with a sigh, actually thinking about his words first before he blurts out absolute madness, for once.]

I know, I know. Sorry. That usually makes everyone else shut up faster.

[if he calls himself stupid first, he wins?? the life of the butt of every joke is a difficult one.]

[ oh, he was on the team, he's aware. he just didn't realize how prominent it was. and apparently still is. it's baffling to him but it isn't a hurdle they actually need to climb tonight. just realizing it's there is something, even if it's not his place to try and "fix" things. it might not even need to be "fixed." joe is just a Concerned Boyfriend okay. ]

Well. Not me~

[ there's that tilde again, trying to lighten the mood, but it's also a sort of promise. in a way. jokes will not be at your expense, daichi. not in the stupid and useless sense. other jokes? sure. ]

[when your friends are great but they're also jerks... well, he's fine, really! super fine. Joe's concern is noted and appreciated, he's very sweet, but just going back to a normal life after everything already marginally improved Daichi's attitude.

still.]

You're... sweet. [gay.] I mean, thanks?

[don't thank people for not being assholes, Daichi.]

[ you have activated joe boyfriend mode. this is not just joe friend mode. this is a lot more encouraging and a lot more serious. but only sometimes.

he figures daichi doesn't want to dwell on this. that much is clear. either way, he laughs, shaking his head, and quickly leans in to steal a kiss. ]

Ahh... That's right. I have boyfriend defending duties now~

[ JOE. ]

[hey? really gay. Daichi sure doesn't want to dwell on how everyone calls him a useless dipshit, though, and he totally wants more kisses instead. see, Joe is doing great.]

Because you're a knight in shining armor?

Yup!

[ look he's not even refuting how absurd that is. it's a running theme. one of thirty, apparently, for this evening. ]

I already carried you across the threshold and everything.

[ he's grinning like the crazy idiot he is. bless this man. ]

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