dumbshow | don't stand so close to me

When doesn't he have money to burn, let's be honest here. Most of Hisoka's money comes from being a Hunter now, but before it was from where ever he managed to get it as he needed it. The way Illumi and his family manages to spend it's almost unfair! But so it life, he also has to deal with that whole- family thing too, not very jealous of that.

"A tie?" Swipes one from a nearby shelf. Ties they do have here. He gives a bright grin as he holds the bright tie up to his collar.

"You'd look pretty in gold, curtains of it, think you could get away in a dress." A smirk. He has no idea what sort of job it is besides the usual, but if he needs to dress for it, sounds like a job he'll have to wait a bit to finish. Can't just swoop in, Robin Hood it, and leave, have to mingle a little. The idea of Illumi mingling though- has him chuckling under his breath as he moves to hold the bowtie infront of Illumi now. Infront of his collar.

"Hm." Tilts his head.

The family thing is great, when they act accordingly to what he wants. Sure, there are some hiccups, but it evens out... That aside, a bowtie wasn't what he was expecting. He just- looks at Hisoka, nonplussed, as he messes with the bowtie. Illumi could certainly get away in a dress if the situation required it, but for this one-

"No, I'm getting the tie." Plus he'd have to wear the appropriate shoes, which isn't appealing. A glance down at the tie instead, now that it's right up close. "It's a little memorable. You know that's not the point."

Still, he looks back up at Hisoka and tilts his head slightly, waiting for some actual appraisal. Maybe there's a secret to gold ties he doesn't know, like the secret to crop tops...

"Gold means money, don't you like money?" A smile. "Course you do, how would you function without it?" A laugh, tossing the bowtie away, not even putting it back on the shelf.

"Right- you probably wouldn't. A homeless Illumi-" Faux gasp and he'll step away again, looking over shoes like before and picking up something a bit more "modern" Smiling at them and turning them in his hand.

"I like memorable." He lives by it, haven't you noticed? Subtly is boring, he's be a terrible assassin.

"I would manage," comes the response, not defensive or tinged with anything besides flat factual delivery. Illumi elects to interpret 'homeless' as somehow neatly tying up the loose ends that would be what becomes of his family, in this situation, so yes - objectively speaking, he could manage the vagabond life. Creature comforts do nothing for him, anyway.

Those shoes are absolutely criminal. Hisoka's obsession with heels mystifies Illumi; is he not tall enough...? Truly, he'd be a horrible assassin. Illumi folds his arms and leans against the shelf with not so much as a second glance at the shoes, despite- how bizarre they are.

"You are memorable." Again, factual. "I know your style." He pauses, like this is a simple conflict of stealthy fashion and not Hisoka being too flashy for his own austere life. Then- "In that case, pick something you don't like."

No family or money, isn't all you do involving those. These are just hypotheticals of course, no need to bother yourself with them. He's noticed the 'what if' situations brought up to Illumi usually just end up with the answer 'but it isn't'. Kind of takes the fun out of it anyway. And everything involves that family of his, the idea of a hypothetical without the family would most likely blow the poor kid's brain.

No he's not tall enough. He never will be. Really he just likes the look of them though, and thinks of them like small podiums. Perfect really, when shouldn't he be on a podium or two?

"You're so sweet, all the time, I could eat you up." A smirk, rolling his eyes a little as he sets the shoes down, glancing back with a slightly bored expression. "Don't like for me- or you? Those are very different things."

The only reason to play with 'what ifs' is while planning out how a job might change midway through. He'll humor Hisoka, sort of, in the way that he never actually outright tells him to stop it but also doesn't play along- that's fine. He's humoring the heels right now by not pointing out that they're a travesty.

Calling him sweet just rolls right off him, too. Funny... Leaving aside whether or not 'memorable' is even a compliment, because it could go either way.

"Ah?" Oh- is there a difference between the two? He'd been assuming Hisoka pointed him at things he liked without further specifics. He blinks, looks at Hisoka, looks away- does it actually matter? Tedious- "It's that different? Both."

He likes what if as what ifs though, hypotheticals can be fun for wracking your brain anytime. Sigh- but Illumi tended to be function over form a lot. Hisoka realizes his own tastes are well- his own. He's happy Illumi understands that either way.

"It's different. Some things would be better or worse for me, and those are different from better or worse for you. For example-" Points at him.

"You look trashy in red, and have the hips of a teenage girl." No slender pants for you unless you wanna keep with the girl thing, but don't you have a brother into that already, like- Kabuto, or Kapullo or something?

Function over form is the rule of this job, mostly- those flashy skills his father and grandfather use are effective, certainly, but Illumi prefers a job done without the bells and whistles more often than not.

(Kalluto, god- learn some names, pal. He's helpful, standing in the background of jobs Illumi does most of the work for.)

"That has nothing to do with what I need." Even though he did ask how it was different, hm- He does actually glance down at himself, because he's certainly never stopped to think about what he looks good in, and this teenage girl hips thing is new. "Fortunately, red is just as memorable as that gold tie." So it's out.

"Go on. You have a point, don't you?"

Wow already boring and old, Illumi. Good job.

"You asks for some examples, anyway, what's good and bad for me also has nothing to do with what you need either so I just won't bother." But ah, he wants unmemorable clothing- how- bland. They should waste some more time first even if Hisoka knows exactly what Illumi should go for.

A cock of his head and he'll leave the store with a meandering pace, looking around idly and assuming Illumi follows him. Where was that- oh right. Starts walking to the right.

"Let me think about it." Think about what you should wear, despite already knowing exactly what. Let's actually get smoothies and wander that thrift store for a bit because he wants to. Heading to the smoothie booth first and smiling widely up to the list of flavours and mixes of them.

"So you want- unmemorable, something that fits in." Bluh bluh boring bullshit, ah, maybe raspberry something. The cashier girl has yet- to figure out if she should say hello or not and is just staring wide eyed at Hisoka till he glances over and smiles and she- will haha, s-smile too??

'Efficient' is the term, give him that. Illumi only looks at Hisoka - the visual equivalent of a shrug - and oh, they're already leaving this store. So no shoes? And no flashy golden tie, but that's fine by him. He spots Hisoka's chosen distraction before they make their way up to the counter, but his only comment is-

"Ah, well, I don't have to try very hard," which has nothing to do with smoothies and everything to do with dressing like a boring old person. He says try very hard and means sticking himself full of needles to look more ordinary, of course— for more difficult jobs he's needed to, but this one happens to be so basic there's no point in any effort beyond the bland outfit. "So yes, that's right. I'm hardly showing up to entertain these people."

The cashier girl- bless her heart- only then seems to blink herself out of her episode over Hisoka when Illumi plunks his elbow on the counter and stares past her to the menu. She gives him a look like she's half panicked that she was staring so blatantly at one of them and now there's this other one and- and what exactly is with that thousand-yard stare-? While Illumi pays no mind and simply points at a picture- "Strawberry for me."

"Oh but you do, you really have to try Illumi." A glance back, no expression, before he smiles looking forward again and closing his eyes.

"Well except for that hair, you family seems to have good genes for it. Good for you, at least you have something up your sleeve." An annoyed look. "If you ever wore sleeves." Like- took his advice, your arms look ridiculous bare, you can't pull off his look, kiddo.

"When do you ever entertain people." Smirks, poking at his cheek and cocking his head. "Besides me. I really can't get enough of your little face change trick." Certainly not something he wants to learn or would ever need to. He wants people to know it's him after all, but- it certainly has it's uses and honestly is perfect for Illumi. It'll be quite impressive once he masters it.

"Mango PassionFruit for me." Hisoka says with a smirk and she- nods. Now unable to stop staring at both of them and yet- can't possibly look at both of them at the same time. But she'll pull on a smile, nod, and type it in, letting the other girl with her know what to make before Hisoka starts trotting away from the cashier to wander nearby.

"Thanks!" Flits up a hand.

Illumi simply looks ahead toward the menu still, blandly, until the slightest crease in his brow shows that he's actually absorbing Hisoka's words. Whether or not he's going to listen fully is another story entirely- he'll ask for, well, wardrobe tips, but then tweak them dramatically to suit what he finds more comfortable. Like getting rid of sleeves. Which are not as practical as they seem. To wit, "Sleeves catch on things."

Slowly, then, his gaze slides away from the smoothie stand to stare at Hisoka. Let's save the idle mentions of face-changing for a less captive audience, if that's all well and good - so help him if this nervous little cashier starts thinking he paints faces for a living or something and tries to chat with him. Civilians. And how kind of Hisoka to flounce away and leave him and his overflowing wallet to pay for these—

"Ah." Well. Okay. Illumi stares at the passerby rather than the cashier, without really looking at them, for the few minutes it takes to make their smoothies. He leaves a few bills on the counter without checking what they are and appears at Hisoka's elbow moments later, holding out the cup.

"My nen isn't a party trick." Still on this. "But we're talking about what I'm supposed to wear to do this job without turning heads. Something with a tie. How about a hat?"

Zoldycks seem to think hats are subtle. Save this ill-advised man.

"I doubt that's the fault of the sleeves and more the fault of the wearer." Get more experience bro, don't let your clothing get trashed bro. You can wear a cape, you can do anything, just play smart, you should- for fashion's sake- he does. Look at those harem pants he wears, those have to catch on things all the time, and yet don't.

Pft, high heels when fighting? High heels aren't stealthy at all. But fashion.

"Mmm, thanks." Smiles, moving to take the smoothie, why thank you, he didn't really look to see if that was the right one/his or not, but eh- drinking it anyway. Both would taste good.

"It's a party trick now- though, as I've said, still very impressive. You catch my likeness so well." A wide smile, cocking a shoulder. "But you still have a ways to go with it, hm? I was impressed with how long you held it during the exam." Were you talking about clothing again- ah... A small sigh and he heads towards that thrift store. It's nice though, the sort older women go to sell their dead husband's suits. Is that- the sort of thing Illumi is going for?

"What have you decided you'll look like for it?"

A cape— he's not that far gone into cartoonish villainy. He only hums in reply anyway; yep, sleeve suggestion noted and discarded yet again. Gittarackur has sleeves - be content with that.

"It's a pain to do it for so long." Literally. He adds what would be a chiding if he said it with any inflection, which he doesn't, "You took your time when you called me to stand in for you. I was going to start losing color any second." Honestly, such a trial all so you could play with Chrollo. It's lucky Illumi lives by give-and-take when it comes to people he's not trying to get rid of...

But this store, he decides as he takes a look around- this is definitely it. Dead people's things are definitely on the right track. He gravitates immediately toward a rack of ties, he's very set on the tie (and the eventual hat), and only after a moment looks back like he just heard the question.

"I'm going to look like me." A beat, and he pinches the end of a lock of his hair between two fingers, considering it. "Maybe me with a temporary trim."

He doubts Illumi could ever rock a cape, let's be honest. Hisoka- oddly enough could, as could Kastro, he gives him that. Though a cape that drapes around too much and he's a little lost to it, have to show off SOME of his body, ya know? Even if it's just the general shape.

"Eventually it won't be, right? You can hone it to be another individual for much longer without it draining on you. Ah- I assume that's why you spend several days resting after dedicating yourself to the appearance change." Smirks, sucking through his straw again. Such an ability would need much dedication to master, especially since it seems to be leaning into the Specialist class. But it is quiet interesting and useful for a man of Illumi's occupation. Ah- he can't wait to see it flower, nh- to see Illumi flower in general. Fighting him- hn, never interested him much, Illumi was too interested in quick and easy kills. Not the fighting type. But his dedication to certain skills was alarmingly alluring.

"Nh--" A breath through his nose, swiping fingers over the hem of his shirt for a moment and squeezing there before he pulls in a deep enough breath to calm himself down.

"You'll- get used to it soon enough." Lifts a finger, wags it. "Practice makes perfect!"

He follows him in without a hitch and casually sucks on the straw of his smoothie as he watches Illumi look over things. Eventually, he takes the tie, and puts it back. And takes the hat, and puts it back.

No.

Blinks.

"Ahhh- temporary trim? I want to seeee, puuu~ show me."

Capes and several feet of hair don't go together very well, it's true. Maybe finding Hisoka a cape cut to his satisfaction would be easier than trying to get Illumi a dead man suit- maybe. But while he's still thumbing through ties-

"Ah?" Several... "Oh. That's right- it takes a lot of nen even with needles. And that time I had to be taller, which is another hassle." He's busy with accessories and either doesn't notice or doesn't care about Hisoka getting excited behind him- occasionally he sips at his smoothie, nonplussed- he's used to it. There's sense to practicing his skill, obviously, but Illumi can't just practice in an ordinary way like an ordinary person. He's quite good at it already, so once he can figure out how to drill perfection into himself in the most efficient manner— it'll be a sight, that's for sure.

He looks at Hisoka finally after his hat and tie are taken away - he wanted those?? - and half-sighs. You aren't listening, it's really not a party trick- "That would be a waste of energy, so forget it. Use your imagination."

A beat. And. "What's wrong with the purple tie?"

Are you sure. There are many other animes and video games that would love to prove you wrong.

"Stop fondling ties, we should find a suit first." A breath. "Any preference on colour?" Said as he thumbs at an almost orange tweed suit and smiles, looking to Illumi and finding the image hilarious. He lets go, sips, and wanders along the wrack. Doing his best to ignore his thoughts wandering back to how impressive he finds Illumi's will concerning his job and family to be. Ah- damnit, there's that thought again, quit self, quit~

"I want to see it...- and people will remember purple. You're best bet is to go for grey." A bored sound. He doesn't want to stand out after all, right?

Think about reality, where the laws of physics apply, then think about a lot of cloth and a lot of hair. The static cling, for one thing—

"Grey will do," as he picks up the purple tie again. Look, maybe he'll just wear it some other time, over a T-shirt or something. Let him have this. For their actual mission here, boring is as boring does- so, grey. He picks up an appropriately dull tie, hanging it over his arm with the purple one. Still no hat...

"Are you bored?" Asking questions he already knows the answer to- "You made it longer than I thought you would, considering your tastes."

Well if you brush enough. And wash the cape, or iron it. You should be fine. It's called upkeep, Illumi. Learn to be an adult. Though honestly- Illumi's by far more of an adult that Hisoka is. The harlequin magician might as well be peter fucking pan by how he acts most of the time. He's never had responsibilities like Illumi's had, never wants to either.

"The purple one does look nice on you though." He'll add in, because even if it's against what Illumi wants for this job, that IS true. He favours purple and pulls it off well. Still, grey's best, or black, or even red if he really wants that colour.

"I'm amused enough, you usually manage to keep my attention." Shrugs, dropping an orange tie to the ground and moving on. "Besides, I have nothing else going on right now anyway."

Edited 2014-12-17 06:08 (UTC)

Illumi is very adult. He's allowed to go out on his own without being stalked by another family member and everything. So. There's that.

"That doesn't stop you from complaining." Idly, because he doesn't care as such- walking away mid-complaint isn't one of his habits for nothing. Hisoka's boredom concerns him only when it's in the middle of something he's asked him to do - kill a man, pick a suit, whatever. There are degrees. At the moment he too has nothing to do aside from this outing, which is why he's going along with the other store diversions and smoothies.

And he will definitely be keeping the purple tie. Since he has that and a boring one now, he picks up an inordinately tacky one - it may be adorned with a pattern of spades in neat little rows - and after considering it, holds it up in front of Hisoka.

He'd laugh, if he were that type of guy. There's a more casual lilt to his voice at least when he says, "Oh, never mind, this looks ridiculous."

Whoa so adult, it's like he's actually people or something and not dependent on his family's money or title at all.

"Is there a law against complaining? And really, I don't that much, I've never been much for whining." In any respect, unless the whiner's got something to back it up. But cowards have never been of any interest to him, and he's never much been one himself either.

Another flippant toss of something on a shelf, a glance to it before he found himself bored by it, before his eyes flick up to Illumi and what he's doing. Hisoka glances down to the tie, smiles, and takes it before Illumi moves it away from him.

"This is what I am to you? A tie with spades on it?" He laughs, looking if over. "You're right, it looks ridiculous." Said as he drapes it over his arm and continues on. Illumi was so odd with that- while Hisoka himself always showed so much emotion, the other man did the opposite- except for those typical Zoldyck moment's where something like anger over took him. He found it funny though when Illumi acted almost- normal for moments, like with the tie. Again- there's a reason he's usually not bored when around him.

"So a suit then?"

Okay, 'actually people' might be a stretch. 'Actually a husk of a people,' on the other hand...

"I didn't say that..." Is this complaining? By some definition - the Illumi definition, where 'not word-for-word what I wanted to hear' counts as complaining - maybe, on bad days. But this is only an ordinary day, so a spade is only a spade. And a spade tie is only a spade tie, to which he simply says-

"Nope," and declines to elaborate further, moving away from the ties to look for suits (so, yes, a suit). Or meander in the direction of some suits, idly brushing his fingers over the lapels of a few jackets before he notices, ah, they actually have different shapes... This is so beyond him, no one wears suits up on murder mountain. He has another moment where he stares blankly at the items on display like he's staring through them, wondering, until he blinks out of it and tilts his head at Hisoka.

"Well, I won't pretend I have any idea what I'm supposed to be looking for in a suit. That's why you're here."

A husk of a person is quite accurate, yes, but Hisoka's seen glimpses of someone there. Usually when Illumi's angry, but- occasionally other times. Illumi's not completely void of self, though he images he's the way he is due to his up bringing. Interesting of course. He- always had an interest in getting to know more about his family from a more direct stand point.

Well thanks for the long winded answer, he was prepared to down the rest of his smoothie listening to everything you had to say, really.

No, honestly he expected as much. The only time Illumi really speaks is when it has something to do with Killua or similar.

"What sort of event is it?" Said as he wanders over, sipping at his straw again and looking over the different style suits. He himself doesn't wear suits much, but he's known to fashion one here or them should he get the mind for it. It's all about presence though. If a suit would go better for the image he was looking for, he'd choose it more often.

Either way- he'd definitely say 'formal' is the way to go, so he walks past the hooks of pinstripes, and buttonless coats.

The family is his other favorite topic of conversation, but only when they start to pull apart from the inside. Luckily for Hisoka, the lucrative position of 'Illumi's only outsider ally' is one that gets him to divulge more family information than usual. It helps to give context when he needs something from someone, he's found - plus, they're on the Hunter Internet, so. Might as well.

This event, however... "Not a ball." He lifts the sleeve of a coat, studies it and drops it again, moving on to the next one in the row. "But formal. This client isn't high profile, not like the Mafia— but he and the target runs in wealthy circles." He shrugs one shoulder, peering behind a coat lapel as he adds, "These people are wealthy enough to hire my family, but not important enough for anyone to care. It's vanity. They'll have events to match that attitude."

Whatever he's looking for behind that lapel he doesn't find, but he tugs the coat forward on its hook a little to look at the back of it. His profiling of this client might be strange, but being in the assassination business does introduce you to a lot of paranoid and pathetic men with a lot of wealth and even more insecurity over their social standing. Even the rumor of having a Zoldyck's number is like gold to some of these people. Illumi thinks remarkably little of them, ironically enough, but it's more money in his pocket to buy smoothies with. It's a living.

So now the question for Hisoka to sift through is, what kind of suit would one wear to a party hosted by a rich and disturbed idiot?

This is true, were he to back stab you, he'd certainly have a lot to go off of, you're lucky the two of you some how have some degree of 'trust', if it can really be called that. Though Illumi's gotten rather good at knowing what sort of person Hisoka is and can be, and how much is good to tell him. Or perhaps Illumi's still a bright eyed and bushy tailed child looking up to his elders~

"Hmm, so first date than, nice, but- slightly casual?" A smirk, lifting up a coat, black, and running his fingers over a sleeve.

"Or tails you-" Blinks, glancing over slowly and looking him up and down. "Could probably pull off tails on a jacket... Though it's a bit too fancy- and memorable." Chuckling to himself as he lifts up a dark purple velvet suit jacket. More chuckling then-, he pulls it up again.

"...Actually." He would- look good in this- black shirt under it, purple tie...Mm.. A wide smile, tilting his head. Yessir. Though- not for this occasion. He already has in mind who these sort of people are that he's dressing for.

"I really wish you'd should me your hair short- ah-" A glance up, a knowing smile. "I could get a better idea of what to pick for you."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject