don't stand so close to me

[clickhum]

ILLUMI MAKING QUESTIONABLE CHOICES

The prompt is: helping a weird loser buy ugly clothes. Ugly ski jacket required, he feels a connection to it already.

Comments

[debauchewy]

Ah huh.

Ah huh.

"Because you have no one else. What would you do without me?" Always be alone, that's what. Except for his family outings anyway, how cute.

Hisoka moves to step into the bar with ease and smirking at the insides, knowing it's right up Illumi's alley. Dark, purple, and rich rich rich. A snort as he shifts to set a hand on his hip, looking around before he moves to the light up bar sitting luxuriously under large, needle like hanging chandeliers.

"Don't tell me you shelled out money to this place?" Because seriously it's always been someone of your own wet dream, Illumi. he's been here once before and he remembers thinking it for a moment in passing. To have Illumi suggest it was just gold.

[clickhum]

Well- Hisoka's not wrong. Still, Illumi isn't dependent on having having a social circle (any social circle at all), so he has that much going for him. "The same as I do without you now, probably."

That, and spend slightly less money. A drop in the bucket, truthfully, but less. He follows Hisoka to the bar and takes a seat, leaning an elbow on the glossy bar top. Whoever decorates this place is on the right wavelength - if he had to pick one bar to get his overpriced scotch in for the rest of his days, it would probably be this one. All the sharp angles of the furniture and deep purple color of- everything- it is more or less what he would choose, if it were up to him... Even his outfit matches right now, with the tie; not too much purple that he fades into the furniture, fortunately.

"What kind of question is that? We're nowhere near the Zoldyck estate." So like- if it were closer to murder mountain- he'll let that hang, unanswered, and order their drinks.

[debauchewy]

Hisoka would say the same if the words 'social circle' are used. Does he really have a social circle? Or is everyone treated in passing? He makes promises to himself, to others, yes, and he likes to keep them, but can anyone he keeps close be called a friend? It's hard to say- and he'd deny any attachment to those he bothers. Yet- a lack of social interactions would definitely do him in. He needs that attention, something to drive him, what is power if it's not constantly tested, if it's not put against the power of another? Losing the ability to play with others, speak to them, fight them- touch them?

He'd go insane.

But saying that is definitely a weakness. And he doesn't plan on confronting true loneliness any time soon..

"It's a joke, Illumi, this place bleeds the same blood as you." A laugh, looking out of place himself in red and white, but not so much, the colours he has one work all right with the colour palette here. But Illumi looks like he belongs here, like he either works here, or owns the place. It;s sad Illumi doesn't get how funny it is...

"Gin and tonic." Said with a smile once the tender notices them.

[clickhum]

Well, that's Hisoka's problem. Not that Illumi is any better, but he only has a small handful of people he'd lose his mind without. And they don't exactly have to interact with him to keep him... happy. In the loosest sense. Why, he should just lock them all up in a basement-!

Or maybe not.

Also that is not a scotch, so help him, don't change the routine. He taps a finger on the bar idly, waiting. "Your jokes aren't that good." Ah, not that he's laughed more than a dozen times in his life.

[debauchewy]

"How would you know, do you have a sense of humour?" Smirks, tilting his head to look at him, chin set on a hand, elbow on the counter.

"I always hope a few drinks might help you."

[clickhum]

"I don't think your jokes are funny." He says, like other things are funny to him. There was that one time he literally said "ha ha" to Killua, that has to count for something.

As their drinks are placed in front of them he curls his fingers around his, swirling it gently to clink the ice against the glass. A few drinks, really. "Huh, does that say more about me or you?"

[debauchewy]

A flat look, turning to look away now, his hand lowering. Hisoka's quite aware of how lacking Illumi is in the humour department, but for that to still be said so blatantly is annoying. he thinks he's funny, that's really all that matters. Illumi's idea of humour is as warped as the rest of him though-

But then again, so is Hisoka's, he did shove a card up into the stub of his arm once only to reveal it for some- magic trick. To be fair, that was gold, still proud he got away with both arms being severed. Ah- he never stops amazing himself~

"My jokes not being funny?" A bored look, sliding his glass closer. He smirks, sitting up and lifting it. "You." Drinks.

[clickhum]

Okay- Illumi didn't get to see the cool card-in-the-arm gag, to be fair. Maybe he'd have liked that, who can say.

"Really?" Taking a sip. Doubt... "You're the one who tells jokes that only you think are funny."

You know what's really funny? Emotional manipulation. Can he get some stand-up about that?

[debauchewy]

"Only me? Since when did you pay attention to other people?" You'd have to to know how they take his jokes after all.

"No humour and lacking a little empathy, you could really use a lesson on social skills. Do you know how to smile unprompted?"

[clickhum]

If he says they're not funny, they're just not... Kil probably doesn't like Hisoka's jokes, so there. Illumi blinks into his drink, not too sure about this unsolicited talk of lessons on- anything. No. No thank you.

"I smiled before." You know, when he looked halfway enthusiastic about coming to this place. "On the way here."

[debauchewy]

Killua is also a child. Sheesh

"Did you? Remind me what it looked like."

[clickhum]

Does this put Hisoka on the level of dad jokes, or—

"Ah," deadpan. "That's prompting."

[debauchewy]

What even is a dad. Do either of them really know. Does anyone in Hunter x Hunter know?

"Prompt as in prompt a real smile." A laugh, sipping more of his drink. "This is me prompting a fake one, not the same thing."

[clickhum]

Leorio might, but besides him, no. Dad jokes simply do not exist in the world of Hunter x Hunter.

He swirls his glass again, like he's considering this great point Hisoka just made (it actually wasn't great). "What for?"

[debauchewy]

"I want to see." That's it.

[clickhum]

"That's not enough." A shrug, tipping back the rest of his drink. On to drink number two.

[debauchewy]

Hisoka is taking his time on his drink, barely half done with his first one.

"Enough? I need more of a reason to see my friend smile~?"

[clickhum]

Maybe if he had let Illumi pick for him...

"Yes, that's right. No ideas?"

[debauchewy]

Scotch. But then it's just scotch. He's paying either way right? and Hisoka didn't even get some silly mixed drink either, see he can be good.

"Now you're asking for something to help you smile, that's prompting." A sigh. "Because I don't think you can do it."

[clickhum]

He won't pay for a mixed drink. Well- he will, but he'll stare judgmentally about it. Unless it's on fire or something.

"That won't do either." Another shrug. "I told you you're bad at this."

[debauchewy]

It could be purple AND on fire.

FROWNS. "The point is for you to do it without me needing to make out. If you're able to, I can't be bad at it when I'm not purposely-" ....

Sigh.

Drinks.

"Killua listening to everything you say."

[clickhum]

He'll pay for ten.

And ah- that's- this time when he fiddles with his glass he actually is thinking about it, it's a nice thought— But this is still Illumi.

So.

"He already does."

1/2

[debauchewy]

A laugh under his breath.

"Well he certainly doesn't sound like the brainwashed on now." Though Hisoka knows he suffers from his own ego at times as well. Another tip of his glass and he's closer to finishing, eyes sliding over to look at the bottles not far from their seat at the bar.

"The boy's done well to escape you Illumi, maybe if you had another approach."

2/2

[debauchewy]

Smiles, shrugging up a hand.

"Personally I'm rooting for him. He gets better and better at getting away from you every day." Seriously, have you seen him? He's gotten pretty fast.

[clickhum]

If the sharp click of Illumi's glass hitting the bar didn't frighten a few nearby patrons, taking a look at his face now will. It's provocation, he knows- and maybe Hisoka is being genuine, but he doesn't care- but it's still so- it's still—

"Hisoka." He doesn't raise his voice, but his tone is positively dripping with distaste. "Don't get involved." Don't even talk about his family, it's not something an outsider should freely give opinions on. Illumi's eyes narrow, and while this isn't overstepping enough bounds to inspire him to bloodlust, it's not- the ideal reaction.

His mind races; Killua belongs to him, Killua does what he says and even if he isn't aware of it he still does, he always will, no one is going to get in Illumi's way if he has to raze whole cities to get what he wants he will—

He frowns sharply - actually frowns, not halfway - and makes a dark noise of anger in the back of his throat as he snaps his gaze away from Hisoka. If he were a "shut the fuck up" kind of guy, he'd say it. The negative atmosphere radiating off of him doesn't fade, he's- really fuming-

"Don't get close to Killua." In any way. "I'll kill you."