dumbshow | don't stand so close to me

He likes what if as what ifs though, hypotheticals can be fun for wracking your brain anytime. Sigh- but Illumi tended to be function over form a lot. Hisoka realizes his own tastes are well- his own. He's happy Illumi understands that either way.

"It's different. Some things would be better or worse for me, and those are different from better or worse for you. For example-" Points at him.

"You look trashy in red, and have the hips of a teenage girl." No slender pants for you unless you wanna keep with the girl thing, but don't you have a brother into that already, like- Kabuto, or Kapullo or something?

Function over form is the rule of this job, mostly- those flashy skills his father and grandfather use are effective, certainly, but Illumi prefers a job done without the bells and whistles more often than not.

(Kalluto, god- learn some names, pal. He's helpful, standing in the background of jobs Illumi does most of the work for.)

"That has nothing to do with what I need." Even though he did ask how it was different, hm- He does actually glance down at himself, because he's certainly never stopped to think about what he looks good in, and this teenage girl hips thing is new. "Fortunately, red is just as memorable as that gold tie." So it's out.

"Go on. You have a point, don't you?"

Wow already boring and old, Illumi. Good job.

"You asks for some examples, anyway, what's good and bad for me also has nothing to do with what you need either so I just won't bother." But ah, he wants unmemorable clothing- how- bland. They should waste some more time first even if Hisoka knows exactly what Illumi should go for.

A cock of his head and he'll leave the store with a meandering pace, looking around idly and assuming Illumi follows him. Where was that- oh right. Starts walking to the right.

"Let me think about it." Think about what you should wear, despite already knowing exactly what. Let's actually get smoothies and wander that thrift store for a bit because he wants to. Heading to the smoothie booth first and smiling widely up to the list of flavours and mixes of them.

"So you want- unmemorable, something that fits in." Bluh bluh boring bullshit, ah, maybe raspberry something. The cashier girl has yet- to figure out if she should say hello or not and is just staring wide eyed at Hisoka till he glances over and smiles and she- will haha, s-smile too??

'Efficient' is the term, give him that. Illumi only looks at Hisoka - the visual equivalent of a shrug - and oh, they're already leaving this store. So no shoes? And no flashy golden tie, but that's fine by him. He spots Hisoka's chosen distraction before they make their way up to the counter, but his only comment is-

"Ah, well, I don't have to try very hard," which has nothing to do with smoothies and everything to do with dressing like a boring old person. He says try very hard and means sticking himself full of needles to look more ordinary, of course— for more difficult jobs he's needed to, but this one happens to be so basic there's no point in any effort beyond the bland outfit. "So yes, that's right. I'm hardly showing up to entertain these people."

The cashier girl- bless her heart- only then seems to blink herself out of her episode over Hisoka when Illumi plunks his elbow on the counter and stares past her to the menu. She gives him a look like she's half panicked that she was staring so blatantly at one of them and now there's this other one and- and what exactly is with that thousand-yard stare-? While Illumi pays no mind and simply points at a picture- "Strawberry for me."

"Oh but you do, you really have to try Illumi." A glance back, no expression, before he smiles looking forward again and closing his eyes.

"Well except for that hair, you family seems to have good genes for it. Good for you, at least you have something up your sleeve." An annoyed look. "If you ever wore sleeves." Like- took his advice, your arms look ridiculous bare, you can't pull off his look, kiddo.

"When do you ever entertain people." Smirks, poking at his cheek and cocking his head. "Besides me. I really can't get enough of your little face change trick." Certainly not something he wants to learn or would ever need to. He wants people to know it's him after all, but- it certainly has it's uses and honestly is perfect for Illumi. It'll be quite impressive once he masters it.

"Mango PassionFruit for me." Hisoka says with a smirk and she- nods. Now unable to stop staring at both of them and yet- can't possibly look at both of them at the same time. But she'll pull on a smile, nod, and type it in, letting the other girl with her know what to make before Hisoka starts trotting away from the cashier to wander nearby.

"Thanks!" Flits up a hand.

Illumi simply looks ahead toward the menu still, blandly, until the slightest crease in his brow shows that he's actually absorbing Hisoka's words. Whether or not he's going to listen fully is another story entirely- he'll ask for, well, wardrobe tips, but then tweak them dramatically to suit what he finds more comfortable. Like getting rid of sleeves. Which are not as practical as they seem. To wit, "Sleeves catch on things."

Slowly, then, his gaze slides away from the smoothie stand to stare at Hisoka. Let's save the idle mentions of face-changing for a less captive audience, if that's all well and good - so help him if this nervous little cashier starts thinking he paints faces for a living or something and tries to chat with him. Civilians. And how kind of Hisoka to flounce away and leave him and his overflowing wallet to pay for these—

"Ah." Well. Okay. Illumi stares at the passerby rather than the cashier, without really looking at them, for the few minutes it takes to make their smoothies. He leaves a few bills on the counter without checking what they are and appears at Hisoka's elbow moments later, holding out the cup.

"My nen isn't a party trick." Still on this. "But we're talking about what I'm supposed to wear to do this job without turning heads. Something with a tie. How about a hat?"

Zoldycks seem to think hats are subtle. Save this ill-advised man.

"I doubt that's the fault of the sleeves and more the fault of the wearer." Get more experience bro, don't let your clothing get trashed bro. You can wear a cape, you can do anything, just play smart, you should- for fashion's sake- he does. Look at those harem pants he wears, those have to catch on things all the time, and yet don't.

Pft, high heels when fighting? High heels aren't stealthy at all. But fashion.

"Mmm, thanks." Smiles, moving to take the smoothie, why thank you, he didn't really look to see if that was the right one/his or not, but eh- drinking it anyway. Both would taste good.

"It's a party trick now- though, as I've said, still very impressive. You catch my likeness so well." A wide smile, cocking a shoulder. "But you still have a ways to go with it, hm? I was impressed with how long you held it during the exam." Were you talking about clothing again- ah... A small sigh and he heads towards that thrift store. It's nice though, the sort older women go to sell their dead husband's suits. Is that- the sort of thing Illumi is going for?

"What have you decided you'll look like for it?"

A cape— he's not that far gone into cartoonish villainy. He only hums in reply anyway; yep, sleeve suggestion noted and discarded yet again. Gittarackur has sleeves - be content with that.

"It's a pain to do it for so long." Literally. He adds what would be a chiding if he said it with any inflection, which he doesn't, "You took your time when you called me to stand in for you. I was going to start losing color any second." Honestly, such a trial all so you could play with Chrollo. It's lucky Illumi lives by give-and-take when it comes to people he's not trying to get rid of...

But this store, he decides as he takes a look around- this is definitely it. Dead people's things are definitely on the right track. He gravitates immediately toward a rack of ties, he's very set on the tie (and the eventual hat), and only after a moment looks back like he just heard the question.

"I'm going to look like me." A beat, and he pinches the end of a lock of his hair between two fingers, considering it. "Maybe me with a temporary trim."

He doubts Illumi could ever rock a cape, let's be honest. Hisoka- oddly enough could, as could Kastro, he gives him that. Though a cape that drapes around too much and he's a little lost to it, have to show off SOME of his body, ya know? Even if it's just the general shape.

"Eventually it won't be, right? You can hone it to be another individual for much longer without it draining on you. Ah- I assume that's why you spend several days resting after dedicating yourself to the appearance change." Smirks, sucking through his straw again. Such an ability would need much dedication to master, especially since it seems to be leaning into the Specialist class. But it is quiet interesting and useful for a man of Illumi's occupation. Ah- he can't wait to see it flower, nh- to see Illumi flower in general. Fighting him- hn, never interested him much, Illumi was too interested in quick and easy kills. Not the fighting type. But his dedication to certain skills was alarmingly alluring.

"Nh--" A breath through his nose, swiping fingers over the hem of his shirt for a moment and squeezing there before he pulls in a deep enough breath to calm himself down.

"You'll- get used to it soon enough." Lifts a finger, wags it. "Practice makes perfect!"

He follows him in without a hitch and casually sucks on the straw of his smoothie as he watches Illumi look over things. Eventually, he takes the tie, and puts it back. And takes the hat, and puts it back.

No.

Blinks.

"Ahhh- temporary trim? I want to seeee, puuu~ show me."

Capes and several feet of hair don't go together very well, it's true. Maybe finding Hisoka a cape cut to his satisfaction would be easier than trying to get Illumi a dead man suit- maybe. But while he's still thumbing through ties-

"Ah?" Several... "Oh. That's right- it takes a lot of nen even with needles. And that time I had to be taller, which is another hassle." He's busy with accessories and either doesn't notice or doesn't care about Hisoka getting excited behind him- occasionally he sips at his smoothie, nonplussed- he's used to it. There's sense to practicing his skill, obviously, but Illumi can't just practice in an ordinary way like an ordinary person. He's quite good at it already, so once he can figure out how to drill perfection into himself in the most efficient manner— it'll be a sight, that's for sure.

He looks at Hisoka finally after his hat and tie are taken away - he wanted those?? - and half-sighs. You aren't listening, it's really not a party trick- "That would be a waste of energy, so forget it. Use your imagination."

A beat. And. "What's wrong with the purple tie?"

Are you sure. There are many other animes and video games that would love to prove you wrong.

"Stop fondling ties, we should find a suit first." A breath. "Any preference on colour?" Said as he thumbs at an almost orange tweed suit and smiles, looking to Illumi and finding the image hilarious. He lets go, sips, and wanders along the wrack. Doing his best to ignore his thoughts wandering back to how impressive he finds Illumi's will concerning his job and family to be. Ah- damnit, there's that thought again, quit self, quit~

"I want to see it...- and people will remember purple. You're best bet is to go for grey." A bored sound. He doesn't want to stand out after all, right?

Think about reality, where the laws of physics apply, then think about a lot of cloth and a lot of hair. The static cling, for one thing—

"Grey will do," as he picks up the purple tie again. Look, maybe he'll just wear it some other time, over a T-shirt or something. Let him have this. For their actual mission here, boring is as boring does- so, grey. He picks up an appropriately dull tie, hanging it over his arm with the purple one. Still no hat...

"Are you bored?" Asking questions he already knows the answer to- "You made it longer than I thought you would, considering your tastes."

Well if you brush enough. And wash the cape, or iron it. You should be fine. It's called upkeep, Illumi. Learn to be an adult. Though honestly- Illumi's by far more of an adult that Hisoka is. The harlequin magician might as well be peter fucking pan by how he acts most of the time. He's never had responsibilities like Illumi's had, never wants to either.

"The purple one does look nice on you though." He'll add in, because even if it's against what Illumi wants for this job, that IS true. He favours purple and pulls it off well. Still, grey's best, or black, or even red if he really wants that colour.

"I'm amused enough, you usually manage to keep my attention." Shrugs, dropping an orange tie to the ground and moving on. "Besides, I have nothing else going on right now anyway."

Edited 2014-12-17 06:08 (UTC)

Illumi is very adult. He's allowed to go out on his own without being stalked by another family member and everything. So. There's that.

"That doesn't stop you from complaining." Idly, because he doesn't care as such- walking away mid-complaint isn't one of his habits for nothing. Hisoka's boredom concerns him only when it's in the middle of something he's asked him to do - kill a man, pick a suit, whatever. There are degrees. At the moment he too has nothing to do aside from this outing, which is why he's going along with the other store diversions and smoothies.

And he will definitely be keeping the purple tie. Since he has that and a boring one now, he picks up an inordinately tacky one - it may be adorned with a pattern of spades in neat little rows - and after considering it, holds it up in front of Hisoka.

He'd laugh, if he were that type of guy. There's a more casual lilt to his voice at least when he says, "Oh, never mind, this looks ridiculous."

Whoa so adult, it's like he's actually people or something and not dependent on his family's money or title at all.

"Is there a law against complaining? And really, I don't that much, I've never been much for whining." In any respect, unless the whiner's got something to back it up. But cowards have never been of any interest to him, and he's never much been one himself either.

Another flippant toss of something on a shelf, a glance to it before he found himself bored by it, before his eyes flick up to Illumi and what he's doing. Hisoka glances down to the tie, smiles, and takes it before Illumi moves it away from him.

"This is what I am to you? A tie with spades on it?" He laughs, looking if over. "You're right, it looks ridiculous." Said as he drapes it over his arm and continues on. Illumi was so odd with that- while Hisoka himself always showed so much emotion, the other man did the opposite- except for those typical Zoldyck moment's where something like anger over took him. He found it funny though when Illumi acted almost- normal for moments, like with the tie. Again- there's a reason he's usually not bored when around him.

"So a suit then?"

Okay, 'actually people' might be a stretch. 'Actually a husk of a people,' on the other hand...

"I didn't say that..." Is this complaining? By some definition - the Illumi definition, where 'not word-for-word what I wanted to hear' counts as complaining - maybe, on bad days. But this is only an ordinary day, so a spade is only a spade. And a spade tie is only a spade tie, to which he simply says-

"Nope," and declines to elaborate further, moving away from the ties to look for suits (so, yes, a suit). Or meander in the direction of some suits, idly brushing his fingers over the lapels of a few jackets before he notices, ah, they actually have different shapes... This is so beyond him, no one wears suits up on murder mountain. He has another moment where he stares blankly at the items on display like he's staring through them, wondering, until he blinks out of it and tilts his head at Hisoka.

"Well, I won't pretend I have any idea what I'm supposed to be looking for in a suit. That's why you're here."

A husk of a person is quite accurate, yes, but Hisoka's seen glimpses of someone there. Usually when Illumi's angry, but- occasionally other times. Illumi's not completely void of self, though he images he's the way he is due to his up bringing. Interesting of course. He- always had an interest in getting to know more about his family from a more direct stand point.

Well thanks for the long winded answer, he was prepared to down the rest of his smoothie listening to everything you had to say, really.

No, honestly he expected as much. The only time Illumi really speaks is when it has something to do with Killua or similar.

"What sort of event is it?" Said as he wanders over, sipping at his straw again and looking over the different style suits. He himself doesn't wear suits much, but he's known to fashion one here or them should he get the mind for it. It's all about presence though. If a suit would go better for the image he was looking for, he'd choose it more often.

Either way- he'd definitely say 'formal' is the way to go, so he walks past the hooks of pinstripes, and buttonless coats.

The family is his other favorite topic of conversation, but only when they start to pull apart from the inside. Luckily for Hisoka, the lucrative position of 'Illumi's only outsider ally' is one that gets him to divulge more family information than usual. It helps to give context when he needs something from someone, he's found - plus, they're on the Hunter Internet, so. Might as well.

This event, however... "Not a ball." He lifts the sleeve of a coat, studies it and drops it again, moving on to the next one in the row. "But formal. This client isn't high profile, not like the Mafia— but he and the target runs in wealthy circles." He shrugs one shoulder, peering behind a coat lapel as he adds, "These people are wealthy enough to hire my family, but not important enough for anyone to care. It's vanity. They'll have events to match that attitude."

Whatever he's looking for behind that lapel he doesn't find, but he tugs the coat forward on its hook a little to look at the back of it. His profiling of this client might be strange, but being in the assassination business does introduce you to a lot of paranoid and pathetic men with a lot of wealth and even more insecurity over their social standing. Even the rumor of having a Zoldyck's number is like gold to some of these people. Illumi thinks remarkably little of them, ironically enough, but it's more money in his pocket to buy smoothies with. It's a living.

So now the question for Hisoka to sift through is, what kind of suit would one wear to a party hosted by a rich and disturbed idiot?

This is true, were he to back stab you, he'd certainly have a lot to go off of, you're lucky the two of you some how have some degree of 'trust', if it can really be called that. Though Illumi's gotten rather good at knowing what sort of person Hisoka is and can be, and how much is good to tell him. Or perhaps Illumi's still a bright eyed and bushy tailed child looking up to his elders~

"Hmm, so first date than, nice, but- slightly casual?" A smirk, lifting up a coat, black, and running his fingers over a sleeve.

"Or tails you-" Blinks, glancing over slowly and looking him up and down. "Could probably pull off tails on a jacket... Though it's a bit too fancy- and memorable." Chuckling to himself as he lifts up a dark purple velvet suit jacket. More chuckling then-, he pulls it up again.

"...Actually." He would- look good in this- black shirt under it, purple tie...Mm.. A wide smile, tilting his head. Yessir. Though- not for this occasion. He already has in mind who these sort of people are that he's dressing for.

"I really wish you'd should me your hair short- ah-" A glance up, a knowing smile. "I could get a better idea of what to pick for you."

Illumi has never been bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in his life, but he's always looking to improve his, ah, craft- so maybe something like it. It's too bad playing cards are too thin and slippery for the way he throws; he'd actually give it a better try.

He doesn't blink at the 'first date' quip, still poking at this one coat until the purple one catches his eye and he gives it a look like, it's nice, but it would be even nicer without sleeves. He reaches over and pinches one of its sleeve cuffs between two fingers, checking out the material. It feels heavy- he could never wear it to work in- but there's no denying it's a nice coat.

"I'm not wasting nen so you can play around," he says, but then- hm. The ties hanging on his forearm he scoots down to rest in the crook of his arm, so they don't drop when he reaches for the curtain of his hair and sort of shifts it; there's still, like, two feet of it hanging over his shoulder, but the way he's holding it at least gives a rudimentary shape of how it would sit around his face if it were short.

Be thankful he didn't just fold it in half a bunch of times- that would have been even less helpful. He's satisfied with this compromise, or rather, this is good enough and he's still not going to manipulate his hair properly just to shop. With his free hand he gestures at his head. "Ignore the rest."

Anything to continue in the same exact path you've always been on your entire life wow that should really have bored you to death already, how do you do it? Honestly Hisoka's is of course a man of 'to each their own' but- considering how well he and Illumi get along- he really doesn't understand much about him. He knows things, his preferences, tastes, habits, but understand? Not really. How could he be so invested in one thing his entire life? And always the same over and over again- sounds like pure hell.

Eh-

They tend to keep things fresh when they're together though. Which is good. He really needs to think of more ways to manipulate Illumi into doing a wider variety of activities though. This certainly- clothes shopping- has been pretty fun so far. Though looking for things to dress up in always has been for Hisoka. Except when Illumi goes and tries to alter his clothing. A sleeveless purple velvet suit jacket... really.... Just get a fucking vest, Illumi.

"Hnnn~ Play around? That's not what I meant at all." A mock pout at him just holding his hair, wow, thanks. The cheap version. Hisoka shrugs a shoulder and steps away, dangling the purple jacket still.

"Right- you should get this either way." Ah- "And keep the sleeves on."

Doing the same thing day in and day out comes as a consequence of getting to keep the endless money and almost fanatical support from the rest of the family. It's give and take. And it does free up the rest of his time to go out and do this and the occasional odd things Hisoka contacts him about and assumes he'll show up for. That's give and take too.

But no. No he will never get a vest. This is the sort-of-friend you chose, Hisoka. Live with him.

"What for?" he counters the sleeve comment as he lets his hair fall back into place, reaching over to just take the purple coat and drape it with the ties. "They're heavy." He lifts one of the sleeves and wiggles it, to prove his point, like- like that actually proves he should really rip the sleeves off. What if he manipulated it to only have sleeves sometimes, like when he plays at being Gittarackur...? That works. But ah-

"If you want to see my hair short so badly, you might as well just show up." Like he said, these people aren't important enough for real disguises to matter, and Hisoka showing up might even be a helpful distraction from, well, himself. "Want me to text you the address?"

"If you want no sleeves, buy something without them." A sigh. "But you look better IN sleeves." Chuckling to himself.

"Unless you want to start working on those guns some more? You don't have much to show of right now." A laugh, rolling his eyes. "A sleeve is heavy?" Flits up a hand, eyes closed, cocky expression. "See what I mean?" Wow, sleeves are heavy? Poor child. And you carry around all that hair. Priorities?

A glance at that final comment. Show up? But then he'd need a suit. He could get a suit. Watch Illumi on the job, see how fast and boring it was- but- he has no plans. And free food, small talk, company- He could never pass down any of those.

"Time and place, I'll be your plus one." Grins. Just hope he doesn't show up in anything too flamboyant. If he shows up like he usually is dressed- everyone will be staring and they'll hit the top of the list for 'memorable'.

His hair is part of him, it's different. There's just something about sleeves he isn't a big fan of, what is the big deal? Just because his arms- he glances down at a bicep, mildly- aren't huge—he makes a point not to emulate his father, really, and muscle mass counts.

Or more likely, he's plain old not interested in bulking up or putting more thought into his appearance besides how serviceable it is. To wit- there are needles in his chest for safekeeping, because a belt or something would just look stupid. Another belt, with pockets.

Regardless. He gives Hisoka a look that might even qualify for 'done with this,' because come on. Only one of them cares this deeply about how good he does or doesn't look in sleeveless shirts and it's not him. "Hisoka." Hisoka. "We're not here to talk about sleeves."

Instead, let's talk about taking a plus one to an assassination. He moves past Hisoka to look at some other coats, like he isn't just going to buy whatever Hisoka holds out to him anyway. Ah, maybe he should wear the purple suit and Illumi will just fade into the background... "Well, I'll let you know. But don't go wild until I finish my job." Which he says not because he cares, but because he's extra finicky about doing his job properly and needs to ensure that he's the one who makes the hit he's actually hired to carry out. After that, well. As long as someone's left to pay him...

Still weighs a lot, and is pretty unnecessary, all those lovely locks, and how silky they are? They must weigh quite a bit. Some nice heavy sleeves could really do you some good too.

OOohh- don't- even get Hisoka started on your dad. Talk about dad-i-wanna-fuck. He's pretty sure he'd hop that as soon as he could- or wreck their entire how getting a fight out of the guy. Though despite any inclination towards daddy dearest, Hisoka's pretty aware of the only fights for money thing. How sad.

"We can have 'the talk' some other time then. It needs to really happen..." A pitying glance, lips peeling a little in a smile.

"But if I go wild no one will even notice you." GRIN. "Will they notice you anyway if I'm there?" Cause he's damn fine, get it?

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