dumbshow | probably not depressing

[How many lizard ladies are out there?? Shoot hums, and doesn't actually object to being stuck to on the couch. Ordinarily he might object to continuously bumping into Knuckle, but it's sort of-

and he definitely won't be saying this out loud-

it's sort of helping him ignore how out of it he feels the exact way being carried around the building didn't. It's okay- it's just fine, in fact.

On the other hand, he's not paying any attention to the movie selection at all until he's prompted.]

Um- no, I don't think so. [He almost follows that with "try something with monsters," buuut maybe not, after NGL. No. Instead,] Try something with... killers?

[or pick a title at random and pray, but]

Killers... [He laughs, for some reason, pulling up the menu to type in some search words. He'd probably have some fancy program like this, so.] Killers are pretty common.

[From the results that all just popped up, yes, thank you. He leans into Shoot a little, nudging at him with the remote before pointing back to the screen.]

Hey, look at this poster. [For the movie on screen, which is showcasing a woman covered in blood, with long black hair, wielding about six knives at once.] It's Palm.

[Ah yes, Hunter OnDemand, like Hunter Google. Shoot is content to sit there because he thinks his suggestion was really good, thanks, and it's a testament to how out of it he is that he thinks that at all.

It was great...]

Hm? [He stopped paying attention again, but- 'It's Palm.' By some miracle, Shoot actually laughs; it's a sort of wheeze, into his hand as he tries to make it sound like a cough, but he sure did just laugh. At Palm's expense, ah.]

She's going to know you said that, somehow.

A vengeful lover... Obsessive... Stalker??

[This sounds creepy, but he's laughing between descriptions, leaning on Shoot even more as he slaps his knee.] Look, she attacks multiple victims in her jealousy! Let's watch this one!

[Shoot shakes his head, futilely trying to contain another laugh. No, she'll skin them—!]

That's not- not funny! [help] That doesn't even look like her.

[don't say it, Shoot, don't stoop to that brute level-] Not anymore.

[He's trying to hold back his laughter, because she might be looking through her crystal ball and be ready to kill them, but he can't. And so he resorts to shaking horribly in place and turning away from Shoot to bury himself in the couch pillows instead.

He is gone, he is so gone. Laughing and out of control.]

[No, don't leave him here, he has nothing to look at but that poster still on the screen. He laugh-wheezes one last time before leaning over slightly to tug on Knuckle again. He has the remote...!]

Knuckle- you need to pick something else-

Like heeeeeell!

[He wiggles and sits up, holding the remote high and to the side (well, high for him) with a laugh.] I've got to see this one! Look, this other guy looks like our Master--!

[He's choking, he can't take this. And the guy he thinks looks like Morel is just a huge buff old dude with a tiny pipe. It was hard to notice at first, but he's with a line of faces at the bottom. So.]

[The other guy looks like-? Shoot stops his half-hearted swiping for the remote and looks.

Well, the guy doesn't really look like Morel, but there's enough alcohol in his system to make him think he really does, a lot, which only revitalizes his quest to get that remote.]

What if he comes in-? [You know, because someone here did just get out of the hospital today and visitors wouldn't be unheard of. They can't be watching Palm stab Morel to death!!

And this is the moment Shoot desperately misses the remote and falls over Knuckle's lap. Yep, this is as embarrassing as it was the other way around in the cab...]

[He's going to hold it out of the way in every way he can, despite his height, and luckily, Shoot falls over at a perfect time. Knuckle laughs uproariously again, leaning over Shoot there without a care in the world.

Stay squashed then, fool, he's got the remote safe like this!!]

There's no way he'll notice unless we point it out! Except for... Palm... Hahahaha!

[Shoot needs a moment to sort out why he just tried to push himself back up, but suddenly couldn't... Oh, it's Knuckle doing something weird!! He's less concerned about the movie now, turning his head so he's- still squished, but frowning sideways up at Knuckle. Add "sore neck" to his list of ailments.]

I can't see from here.

[yes

that is the problem]

You shoulda thought of that before!

[Because he's still laughing, and he's still staying right here for a few more seconds. By the time he's finish, he sits back in the couch and clutches the remote to his chest, to shield it from any further attempts.]

Look... Look, Shoot. No one will know but us!

This isn't my fault- [He objects, finally able to push himself back up to sitting by the last word. If he digs the heel of his hand into Knuckle's leg just to be a jerk, it's mostly because he's too drunk to care.

And a little bit of the other thing. Now he glances between Knuckle and the TV a few times, as if deciding whether or not he should try to get the remote anyway... He decides to take a third option, standing up abruptly - wobbling, then shuffling his way carefully to the tiny loser kitchenette.

He stumbles only a little on the way, and then looks over the tiny loser dividing counter and simply states:] Snacks.

[snacks will save him from being embarrassed on the couch (for five minutes)]

Do you want chips?

[He's still frowning about the hand digging into his leg when Shoot moves to the 'kitchen' for snacks. Hooking his elbows over the back of the couch, he leans back, tilting his head back too to try and steal a glance.]

Hey, don't fall over. I don't want to have to get up and pick you up. [That's a good, friendly reason to say that.]

Yeah, bring over some chips! The spicy ones. [Whatever they're called, he forgets right now.] Then I'll start the movie.

[He earned it, sorry not sorry. Shoot looks at him flatly for a beat, then says as he turns to get a... bowl or something, for chips,] I won't pick up the couch if you tip it over.

[Spicy chips, spicy chips... Honestly, he's grabbing the first bag he sees to dump some into the very nice plastic party bowl they have for some reason, as if they have company besides Morel, ever. There's a moment he stares at the bag and wonders what to do with it - like, considering he only has one hand and is too drunk to be articulate with nen - then just uses his teeth to rip it open. One comment on this and he swears, these chips will be in Knuckle's hair.

He makes it back to the couch without stumbling or throwing chips everywhere and balances the bowl in his lap (because Knuckle is hogging the remote, ergo - the mature compromise). One last effort:]

You're really set on this movie?

What, can you find a better one?

[Apparently chips are a fair trade for the remote. He offers it to Shoot all while leaning over and taking a handful of chips straight out from the bowl in his lap. Thanks for being a bowl-holder, buddy.]

You get three chances to impress me! If I don't like it, we're going back to this one.

[Excuse him, these are Shoot's chips. Not that he makes any move to stop him- just don't knock the bowl over, because he's taking the remote and not holding onto said bowl at all.]

Well... okay. [He'll try to find some scary action movies that don't star Palm in her awkward phase, for sure.

The result is Shoot, frowning at the TV as he scrolls endlessly through the movie selection and reads every word of every description, just to be sure he doesn't miss any good ones. This goes on for a good two or three minutes before he stops at one that doesn't give anything away from the poster except for- water? There's a hand underwater, someone probably drowns at some point.

Maybe not the most action-packed film of all time, but shh.] How about this?

[He doesn't knock the bowl over, but he does nearly knock the bowl over. Some clumsy recovery goes on before he leans back again, shoving chips into his mouth and staring as Shoot scans through various movies.

When he stops on this one, Knuckle can only look baffled. Confused, like he might be missing something, he leans forward and squints, shoving the rest of his handful of chips into his mouth.]

Huh? What's this, swim class? [Yes, clearly, Knuckle, it is swim class. He gestures at the TV.] That doesn't look like horror action!

[Wow, sorry no one they know has a lookalike in this movie. Shoot looks at him briefly like he's a little personally offended at the criticism, then gestures at the screen with the remote as if that helps explain.]

It's someone drowning, are you blind? It says right there, 'A woman is haunted by visions of drowning and memories that aren't hers.'

[Yeah, there is no action in this film, this is definitely just a ghost movie. Maybe Knuckle will buy it anyway-!! (Dream big, Shoot.)]

That's- that's horror.

[Someone drowning. Memories that aren't hers? So she was invading someone's privacy? That's horrible! He doesn't want to watch something like that! And on top of that, there wasn't any sign of fighting!]

That just sounds depressing! Move on to another one. Two more tries.

[No, come on...]

But- [He thought it was interesting! It took him 3 whole minutes to reject a dozen movies and stop on this one, and everything. But he only sighs, looking back at his endless scrolling with less intense concentration than before. He'll maybe read only the first line of descriptions now, because

he is sulking? Ah? Eventually,]

This one? [UNENTHUSED... it probably looks more punchy than the last one, he doesn't know!!]

[On the one hand, Knuckle doesn't notice Shoot's sulking. It's like his face is no different from the face he was making just a second ago, so how should he know?! On the other hand, though, he doesn't immediately fall for a punchy movie.

In fact, he leans in in a very deep focus, reaching over blindly to find the chips and probably brushing against two different spots of Shoot's legs on the way there. He can't pull his eyes away from the screen.

He eats those chips, focusing even harder (like, way too intensely) and stroking his chin. Eventually, he snaps, except it doesn't really make a snapping noise because he gets the angle wrong in drunken clumsiness. He points at the screen, and then looks back to Shoot.]

This one's not the right kind of horror! You're not happy with it, right? [He looks so proud of himself.] It doesn't feel right! One more try!

[Shoot didn't actually intend to stop on this movie for too long- the more he does look closely at it, it seems really dull... but he gives Knuckle some time to weigh in on it. Or he wanted to, before Knuckle takes just long enough to be too long and keeps touching him while he does it.

Just say no, what— ah, he did. Shoot had been looking at him irritably, about to tell him to hurry it up, and now he looks a little surprised. Knuckle is actually paying attention...? Um, to him, that is-

And that thought is suddenly deeply embarrassing, so he looks down and says:] Stop eating all the chips before the movie.

[Nailed it. He scrolls through a bit more until he finds the world's most generic-sounding vampire movie, but one that definitely has a vampire being chased by someone holding a stake the size of their whole arm on the poster.

Surely that is action-y enough. This time he just nudges Knuckle with his elbow to tell him to check it out.]

This bowl is too small and I haven't eaten all day, shut up!

[Don't you dare try to oppress his chip eating, Shoot. He will eat those potato chips and he will like them.

The elbow nudging does eventually get him to look, though, and immediately he's pleased. A creepy monster thing, a giant stake, and somehow this seems more fitting! He points at the screen dramatically again, but this time he's grinning.]

That's it! That's the winner!

[He can't believe this is really the movie Knuckle chose. Actually he can, a little, which says something about one or both of them, probably.

Without any protest he holds the remote back out to Knuckle to deal with, at the same time trying to sort of... turn a little... so that he'll stop taking all the chips!! Shoot wants some chips, too, man! He, too, is starving.]

We don't have anything bigger than this. Go get the bag if you're that hungry. [And start this disaster of a film, already.]

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i can't believe this is the tag that christens this rare smiling icon, loud sigh

AMAZING I'm so proud of myself

this is horrible LMAO ADULTS... GROWN MEN

GROWN MEN CHILDREN

goodbye knuckle

rip both of them

how is it getting dweebier

because it's them

you're an enabler

I always enable knuckleshoot being dweebs, more neutral icons will come eventually sIGHS

is knuckle ever neutral

in the rare moments between his 50 expressions in a row

that one's kind of neutral

KIND OF??? it's so serious tho

i hate them both

LAUGHS

i have no icon of laughter, joy is dead

shoot is allergic to joy

this is why he only watches knuckle play with dogs

yes can't touch them lest he break out in a rash of happiness

a true tragedy

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