[The tone takes Shoot by surprise even before the guilty admission. He feels like he's missed a step in this conversation, somewhere - weren't they just going for a walk while he happened to complain about being stuck in a hospital bed for ages? What's this, suddenly?
And— didn't they just have this conversation, sort of...? Sometime before the stupid drunk part of last night's festivities, he's sure. Hmm.]
Knuckle— [Well. To be fair, Knuckle is overbearing and yells at him all the time and can be way more critical than is necessary, but-!! He's never considered that being bad, just... what? Fine, because Knuckle isn't scared of everything?? Is that okay...
He'll let Knuckle do the talking while he figures it out, so instead of telling him no,] What do you mean?
[They sort of had this conversation, but somehow, this seems different. It's Knuckle-- definitely Knuckle. Something's different with him. As always, his emotions are all over the place but not always easy to track.]
I didn't think about you until it was damn well near too late! And if that wasn't bad enough, it's my fault you ended up in that damn hospital to begin with! [He wasn't strong enough.]
[... Oh. That's—well, wrong. Shoot's back to frowning almost instantly, wondering if there's any way he can get the point across now without dismissing Knuckle's- feelings. Probably not.
Thankfully he's not known for his tactful wordsmithing, huh.] No, it isn't. Don't be an idiot.
[nice]
You- Don't you remember what I told you before the mission started? Worrying about our own lives wasn't going to make it go any more smoothly. Your part wasn't to think about what happened to me.
[Not that he didn't appreciate not dying pathetically... and not that he didn't let pride get the better of him and ignore his own words in the end anyway, but the point stands.]
pretty much. in this tag, knuckle is too emotional from reading twilight
[Stopping in his tracks, Knuckle spins around again to face Shoot. They're still on a normal sidewalk, so the few people walking around them stare as they pass, but at least they're not attractive a crowd, technically...]
The whole mission... the whole world... I dumped all of it to save your pride, damn it! And I still don't give a damn about that! I don't regret it! But why... [He's working himself up here, it's clear. Tears aren't actually falling yet, but they're clear in his eyes as he looks torn between being angry and sad.
His hands are clenched into fists, but he swings one out at the air in his frustration.] Why hadn't I considered you at all before that?! Damn it... damn it, I'm an idiot!
[They're definitely making a scene... Shoot raises his hand a little as he glances back and forth at the people going by, like waving weakly at him is going to placate Knuckle at all. Do they have to do this here, whatever it is-? And on top of that, where does he even start?]
Calm down! [yes this has always worked before] Getting worked up over it won't help!
[Ah, the usual line... He knows most of this already, is the thing. Throwing the mission just because his pride was stomped on, Knuckle getting too worked up over every little thing - he knew! But the rest tugs at him in a way he can't immediately put to words, and so before he can stop himself he's closing the distance between them to put his hand on Knuckle's shoulder. Calm the hell down, first of all.]
Knuckle... thank you. [This isn't perhaps the way he should respond after that last comment - didn't think of him at all, well! thanks!! - but,] You know, I— I would have done the same for you.
[Don't think too hard about that or he'll get embarrassed, but it's out there in the world now. He doesn't really know how else to say "it's okay," so...] It looks like we're both idiots.
[As expected, the comment to calm down only makes him bristle further. But before he can retort, there's a hand on his shoulder, and all of the fight falls right out of him at those words. He's not sure why. That's not usual.
Knuckle finds himself gawking at Shoot. He would have done the same? Shoot, who was always avoiding things nervously? Who was much more composed, despite his nervousness in general... Shoot would?
His chest feels tight, and that's strange, so he looks to the side, to the hand on his shoulder. Why... Why does he want to take it?
(About now, he probably looks intensely bewildered.)]
Shoot... [No. He looks back up to his face, letting his expression settle down into something more neutral and serious. Shit. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to pull away, because that would be completely wrong, that would say the opposite of what he wants, but he can't just--
Ahhhhhh, damn it!! His head's going to explode from all this thinking! Maybe he understands a little what Gon went through after dealing with APR, now.]
...Yeah. Maybe.
the comment count is 326.... the hands still have not touched... rations are low.....
[Is this good?? Knuckle stopped yelling, so has Shoot done his job? It's a little cold to think of getting Knuckle to calm down as an obligation, he realizes vaguely; it's not like he enjoys watching him get upset, or anything...
But, hmm, he really can't tell what's going through his head right now. At least being yelled at gives him a clue-!]
Then— [Should. Should he move his hand?? Is this too much, if he keeps standing here it is going to be weird, has it already been too long? His thoughts race away from him and he's then somehow convinced himself that moving away now after standing here for too long already would be worse, so he - doesn't move.
He might look a little tragic about it, though. Par for the course...]
You're- Are you still upset?
the sun hasn't risen in 4 days..... hope is dead........ knuckle is crying somewhere
[For some reason, that question makes him stiffen. His face is twisting in that coverup way it usually does, but he can't bring himself to whirl around like usual and brush it off. Damn it... damn it!! Damn it all to hell!]
I wasn't upset to begin with, fool! [That must sound so convincing when he's making tense faces like these.] Let's...
[He can't... He can't do it! That damn werewolf comes to mind, and he just gets too damn embarrassed. What the hell is he thinking... Is he still drunk?? Did he have that much to drink? But he sobered up!]
[Yelling— Shoot's tragic frown twitches, like he's not certain what to do now - and he's not, honestly. Knuckle's clearly still upset(!!) and all he can think of to do is stand here and touch his shoulder.
This very passionate declaration of not being upset does them the misfortune of drawing a few more odd looks, however. In reality that's all, but Shoot leaps to the conclusion that one particularly obvious stare is leading into someone actually coming up and asking them if Everything's Alright. That won't end well, he's sure - Knuckle will yell and someone will cry, so—]
Then- come on. [Before a SCENE is made!! He almost goes for Knuckle's hand on reflex, to pointedly tug him out of the middle of the sidewalk, but at the last second has a sort of mental stutter and goes for his wrist instead. It's Shoot's turn to walk a pace ahead and not look back, even though he's not sure if Knuckle was actually going somewhere specific... shut up.]
[It's okay. He had literally nowhere in mind since he didn't think that far ahead. His wrist is grabbed and he blanks for just long enough for his first steps to be a stumble.
To make up for the embarrassment, he clicks his tongue and grumbles about it, of course.]
Alright, alright, what's with the pulling! Hey! [Not that he actually minds. He feels like he should mind, though, or it'd be weird. Following along, he tries to peer at Shoot's face to get a look at his expression. What's he thinking, come on--!]
You're... never mind! [You're upset in public and it's getting to him too, now!! This is Shoot's interpretation of events, anyway. He doesn't keep pulling for that long, at least, just until he's satisfied by some arbitrary amount of distance between them and where they stopped to make a scene.]
Like I was saying... [He starts (without looking at Knuckle, sorry, but the side view of his face doesn't hide his drawn expression), and then trails off. His first instinct is to insist there's nothing to worry about, but is that... dismissive?
They're supposed to be opening up still, right, so he ought to resist the urge to slam the metaphorical door in Knuckle's face. Right. Somehow.]
... The whole world, huh? [That's a lot of pressure, man.] When I said I would've done the same...
[No, no, abort mission, this is way too melodramatic!! How can it be this hard to say 'you're important to me,' anyway?]
[His wrist is freed, and he's not sure how he feels about it. What the... Why? Why does he feel like he just ran a marathon? Like he's still running it? Shoot speaks again, and Knuckle blinks out of his daze to watch him and that expression.
Wait, wait, why's he trailing off?
Without thinking, he reaches forward and grabs at that wrist in return, to draw his attention more than anything. His thumb slips a bit so he's half grabbing his palm, but he doesn't notice.]
[Trailing off wasn't meant to be an invitation to grab him, now. Shoot blinks a few times like he needs to- come back to the present, sort of. He looks at Knuckle - his hand, then up at his face - and whatever he might have said to change the subject again dies on his tongue.
The usual yelling would be more relaxing than the present situation, he thinks. Damn.]
Well... We're- we're partners, so— of course you'd come first.
[Strike him down where he stands, that STILL... isn't what he was trying to go for, hm.]
[Those are simple words. Words he'd say easily himself, and yet, he finds himself incredibly touched by them. Even if it wasn't what Shoot was going for, he feels like that says a lot. How long has he thought of them as partners, truly? Was it longer than even himself?
He grips Shoot's hand tighter in his thinking. Once again, he doesn't notice what he's doing at all. What a guy.]
Shoot...
[Shit, it feels like words are stuck in his throat right now. What the hell does he do? Say? Think?? It probably doesn't help that he's staring at Shoot's face right now.]
what the fuck you come into my house you tell me kite is dead on this the day of my son's wedding
[Shoot wants to look away, honestly. This is too much, he barely knows what his feelings are doing or what he's talking about, but when Knuckle keeps looking at him like that, he suddenly can't turn away. And squeezing his hand-!
He waits then, for Knuckle to say something else, but seconds tick by and nothing is happening— Is something else wrong? Help him out, here! All he knows is that Knuckle was important before the way any comrade is important, but somehow lately that's changed and apparently it's going to be a thing now whether he wants it to or not.
He looks like he might bolt at any second, but he hasn't! Now if only Knuckle would say something.] —What?
[Oh. Right, he said his name. It comes to him slowly, and maybe he isn't out of this daze after all. He blinks down to their hands, his grip loosening only to let his fingers twitch slightly in place. His thumb slides over Shoot's automatically, stopping there before any of the other fingers might follow. Instead, he pulls it up between them, the hands they're holding, standing here again in the middle of the sidewalk.
Man, his throat feels all dry, for some reason.]
Oh. [He's on a roll.] I was...
[Damn it, damn it!! What the hell's he doing, acting like a dope?! Swallowing hard and going with the sudden, fiery burst of energy that fills his chest like usual, he looks up to Shoot's face again.]
I won't... let anything like that happen to you again! [Hm. Well that's-- close enough. Despite the passion behind those words, too, he isn't yelling them, actually. But he does look down between them, focusing as he unthinkingly brings Shoot's hand to his lips and kisses the back of it.
He...
Wait. He...
He kissed Shoot's hand. And now he seems to be stuck.]
[Shoot gives him a sort of pained look for - apparently - zoning out over and over in the middle of conversation. Don't make him repeat himself, at least... He tries to focus on something else and winds up looking at their hands when Knuckle pulls on them.
Ah. Well.
His enthusiastic declaration gets Shoot to look up to his face again, and while that's- an odd thing to say, maybe, as if he gets into trouble like that often- the feeling behind it calms him down a little, somehow. It's nice, he thinks, comforting— and that moment would last longer if not for Knuckle kissing his hand.
It's a credit to how stunned he is that he doesn't yank his hand away, honestly. He's left staring at Knuckle with an expression that looks like it was hesitantly happy about his really dorky declaration and now is just as stuck as Knuckle is.
Ah. That's- that is. What is he supposed to do now??
His mind races, trips over itself, sticks on 'It's nice' and then Shoot finally unfreezes. He tugs his hand away only to rearrange them both, lace his fingers through Knuckle's and squeeze. And this- would probably be much more casual if his expression wasn't incredibly serious, but listen, he's not the one giving knight in shining armor hand kisses...
The right words to say still elude him. Work with him here.]
[That surprises him even further than his own actions. His eyes widen, his face goes a noticeably bright red, and his chest aches with how much his heart is jumping around in shock. It looks like he's trying to load up the right expression, shifting tensely between them and moving his lips like he wants to say something but can't quite figure out what.
And then, he grips that hand back and tugs it with him in a quick movement, storming forward once more. He's trying to hide the redness of his face, but it shows even more in his ears from behind, and the hunching of his posture doesn't help.
He's still holding his hand with their fingers laced like this as they walk along.]
S-shut up, don't say anything, idiot! You're giving me weird looks! You're over thinking it, I didn't mean anything by that at all!!
[Again, Shoot is stuck waiting. Knuckle's supposed to be the talkative one, he can't fill this role, what is he supposed to do but look at him and wait?? He's not even sure if this is a good reaction but he keeps his overly serious expression in place (with some effort).
When Knuckle yanks them back to walking, Shoot almost stumbles out of surprise. They're still holding hands, but he's saying-?
Oh, wait... this is Knuckle. So, then—] I- I wasn't going to say anything! [Honestly true.] Why don't you tell me what you meant, then?
[Take that ball aggressively volleyed back the hell out of his court, he can't handle it.]
[At that question, his heart just about stops, and he misses a step in his walking. He catches himself, of course!! But there's a very noticeable stumble, and the strength with which he's gripping Shoot's hand may be a bit too much by now.
Shit. Shit shit shit, what did he mean? He doesn't know! Or does he know?! He doesn't want to know! What the hell's he supposed to do?!
There's a very long pause as he argues internally with himself, but eventually, there is something of an answer.]
S-shut up! [Well, no, that's not an answer at all, and yet, it should make things clearer, with how Knuckle is. He can't bring himself to even look back at Shoot, and the redness hasn't let up at all.
He can't believe... Is this really... How the hell could he have been so blind?! And what the hell is he supposed to do about this now, anyway...! If Morel saw this, he'd definitely laugh! Shit, no, he couldn't find out... And what was Shoot thinking? Was he--
Well... He had definitely moved to hold his hand, he realized. Now, his grip lets up a little, and he pays more attention to each finger between his own. This isn't a very bro thing to do...........
So Shoot must be fine with it?
By now, Knuckle's practically half hunched over himself as he walks, his free hand reflexively at his forehead. He wasn't trained for this...]
[Just once, Shoot would like to have a conversation where he's not told to shut up a dozen times. He'll shut up later, when he has a real answer and doesn't have to worry about how fast his heart is beating or whether he'll be ending this day with a trip back to the hospital for a sprained hand. Knuckle please.
But this is the part where he's supposed to take charge, isn't it, and snap Knuckle out of his mood. Knuckle overreacts and he provides the reason, that's how they've always done things. He doesn't feel at all calm enough, though...
Looking at Knuckle having a crisis makes up his mind for him, and not just about that— this whole thing... He's- well, if Knuckle kisses his hand and he thinks it's nice before he wants to put a few dozen yards between them, then it's pretty obvious. He doesn't have time to wonder about how or when (or why, honestly) with Knuckle looking like he's going to explode at any second, which might actually be fortunate.
So, tightening his grip just moments after Knuckle loosens his, so that he doesn't let go and stomp away, Shoot stops walking. Right there. Still in the middle of the sidewalk. He's made up his mind, damn it, and someone is going to use real words here or so help him-!!]
Knuckle! I won't go any further until you talk to me!
[he sat up in a tree for like 5 hours man he can stand here ALL NIGHT]
[Stopping dead in the sidewalk does work, since he tries to keep walking and is jolted back by the sudden resistance. He whirls around immediately, angry and red in the face, but that fades once he realizes he'd whirled to face Shoot at all.
Damn it.
He wants to decline, to tell Shoot why he's not going to or march off into hiding in some other way, but guilt from just earlier eats at him. Here he was, ranting about feeling bad about leaving Shoot behind as a partner until that dangerous moment, and now he was doing it again?
This is what it was. He did this so often, did he even realize when he was doing it?]
Shoot... [A pause, and he straightens himself a little, looking him in the eye this time. He seems determined, if not a complete wreck otherwise.]
I'm sorry. I let my emotions get the best of me. [As per usual... But don't say that.] The truth is...
[The truth. What was the truth? He thinks about it for a long moment, mouth hanging open as he tries to find the right words. Eventually, something falls out.] ...How much I care about you, it was...-- That thing I did...
[And it's still nothing pieced together perfectly, but hey, progress.]
[Shoot really means this— not even Knuckle's 30 moods per minute can shake him now. That's the idea, anyway, and he does rather well at holding his ground and looking like he means it. He can wait.
Ah, but this is the usual... He thinks that much, keeping his mouth shut only because Knuckle will either cry or punch him and cry if he interrupts, he thinks.
Still, at the end of it, he's still waiting. There's another slightly too long pause while he waits to see if Knuckle is going to add anything else, before he says anything. Awkwardly, but:]
I didn't mind— don't mind. [does it... does it help if he clarifies this, out loud] I'm not- angry, it's...
[Just as bumbling as Knuckle's attempt. It seems his determination doesn't come with extra smooth lines. What he thinks of to say is basically something he said before in a different order, but it will have to do.
someone give him strength, shitty YA novels give him strength tbh]
You're... [Ah, no, he can't do it. He can only trail off and lamely look away, muttering something that surely contains the words 'more' and 'important' and 'to me.'
[Knuckle is frozen during all of that, watching Shoot as he speaks. Attempts to speak? The words set in, and he thinks he gets the implication, but it's hard to say with so much missing. His chest is so tight he thinks he might burst, his head is pounding, his hand is way too hot holding Shoot's like this...]
Damn it... [He mutters, first, looking down between them and shaking his head a little.] Look at us, we can't even talk! [There's a bit of humor behind his irritation this time, and that should be a clear sign that he's not yelling AT Shoot, or angry at the situation.]
Damn it, screw this! I'm not going to stand around like some kid! [He says that, but as he reaches forward with a free hand and grabs at Shoot's collar to drag him down, he pauses when he's at his level just to grumble.]
If you make fun of me for this, I'm gonna kick your ass!
[With only that as warning, he follows this strange instinct that he still doesn't understand and kisses him, clumsy and honest.]
[That's true, at least - that they're idiots who can't even speak. Saying that gets Shoot to grin, albeit weakly. They've been at this for way too long now. That much doesn't need to be explained more clearly, at least...
He's yanked down and his little grin is shocked off his face, replaced by a pointless 'um' of surprise and a wide-eyed look. Knuckle is still going on, getting more and more worked up, and then their lips meet and Shoot has no earthly idea what to do.
The obvious is there, of course, but he doesn't- he doesn't know how to kiss someone!! That Knuckle is clumsy and just as lost as he is sort of helps, but for a distinct moment he feels like his whole body has locked up and left him stuck there, stooped over and doing nothing for eternity.
In reality it's maybe three seconds, tops, but it feels longer before he presses back into the kiss with all the finesse of someone making it up as he goes along. Is he doing it right, he thinks he should be doing something else too but his hand is still squeezed in Knuckle's.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
And— didn't they just have this conversation, sort of...? Sometime before the stupid drunk part of last night's festivities, he's sure. Hmm.]
Knuckle— [Well. To be fair, Knuckle is overbearing and yells at him all the time and can be way more critical than is necessary, but-!! He's never considered that being bad, just... what? Fine, because Knuckle isn't scared of everything?? Is that okay...
He'll let Knuckle do the talking while he figures it out, so instead of telling him no,] What do you mean?
uses this icon forever I guess
[They sort of had this conversation, but somehow, this seems different. It's Knuckle-- definitely Knuckle. Something's different with him. As always, his emotions are all over the place but not always easy to track.]
I didn't think about you until it was damn well near too late! And if that wasn't bad enough, it's my fault you ended up in that damn hospital to begin with! [He wasn't strong enough.]
talks to the back of his head forever i guess
Thankfully he's not known for his tactful wordsmithing, huh.] No, it isn't. Don't be an idiot.
[nice]
You- Don't you remember what I told you before the mission started? Worrying about our own lives wasn't going to make it go any more smoothly. Your part wasn't to think about what happened to me.
[Not that he didn't appreciate not dying pathetically... and not that he didn't let pride get the better of him and ignore his own words in the end anyway, but the point stands.]
pretty much. in this tag, knuckle is too emotional from reading twilight
[Stopping in his tracks, Knuckle spins around again to face Shoot. They're still on a normal sidewalk, so the few people walking around them stare as they pass, but at least they're not attractive a crowd, technically...]
The whole mission... the whole world... I dumped all of it to save your pride, damn it! And I still don't give a damn about that! I don't regret it! But why... [He's working himself up here, it's clear. Tears aren't actually falling yet, but they're clear in his eyes as he looks torn between being angry and sad.
His hands are clenched into fists, but he swings one out at the air in his frustration.] Why hadn't I considered you at all before that?! Damn it... damn it, I'm an idiot!
that's only a little bit superlame
Calm down! [yes this has always worked before] Getting worked up over it won't help!
[Ah, the usual line... He knows most of this already, is the thing. Throwing the mission just because his pride was stomped on, Knuckle getting too worked up over every little thing - he knew! But the rest tugs at him in a way he can't immediately put to words, and so before he can stop himself he's closing the distance between them to put his hand on Knuckle's shoulder. Calm the hell down, first of all.]
Knuckle... thank you. [This isn't perhaps the way he should respond after that last comment - didn't think of him at all, well! thanks!! - but,] You know, I— I would have done the same for you.
[Don't think too hard about that or he'll get embarrassed, but it's out there in the world now. He doesn't really know how else to say "it's okay," so...] It looks like we're both idiots.
together they're full superlame
Knuckle finds himself gawking at Shoot. He would have done the same? Shoot, who was always avoiding things nervously? Who was much more composed, despite his nervousness in general... Shoot would?
His chest feels tight, and that's strange, so he looks to the side, to the hand on his shoulder. Why... Why does he want to take it?
(About now, he probably looks intensely bewildered.)]
Shoot... [No. He looks back up to his face, letting his expression settle down into something more neutral and serious. Shit. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to pull away, because that would be completely wrong, that would say the opposite of what he wants, but he can't just--
Ahhhhhh, damn it!! His head's going to explode from all this thinking! Maybe he understands a little what Gon went through after dealing with APR, now.]
...Yeah. Maybe.
the comment count is 326.... the hands still have not touched... rations are low.....
But, hmm, he really can't tell what's going through his head right now. At least being yelled at gives him a clue-!]
Then— [Should. Should he move his hand?? Is this too much, if he keeps standing here it is going to be weird, has it already been too long? His thoughts race away from him and he's then somehow convinced himself that moving away now after standing here for too long already would be worse, so he - doesn't move.
He might look a little tragic about it, though. Par for the course...]
You're- Are you still upset?
the sun hasn't risen in 4 days..... hope is dead........ knuckle is crying somewhere
I wasn't upset to begin with, fool! [That must sound so convincing when he's making tense faces like these.] Let's...
[He can't... He can't do it! That damn werewolf comes to mind, and he just gets too damn embarrassed. What the hell is he thinking... Is he still drunk?? Did he have that much to drink? But he sobered up!]
Let's keep walking!
chimera ant arc tbh
This very passionate declaration of not being upset does them the misfortune of drawing a few more odd looks, however. In reality that's all, but Shoot leaps to the conclusion that one particularly obvious stare is leading into someone actually coming up and asking them if Everything's Alright. That won't end well, he's sure - Knuckle will yell and someone will cry, so—]
Then- come on. [Before a SCENE is made!! He almost goes for Knuckle's hand on reflex, to pointedly tug him out of the middle of the sidewalk, but at the last second has a sort of mental stutter and goes for his wrist instead. It's Shoot's turn to walk a pace ahead and not look back, even though he's not sure if Knuckle was actually going somewhere specific... shut up.]
ah it's true
To make up for the embarrassment, he clicks his tongue and grumbles about it, of course.]
Alright, alright, what's with the pulling! Hey! [Not that he actually minds. He feels like he should mind, though, or it'd be weird. Following along, he tries to peer at Shoot's face to get a look at his expression. What's he thinking, come on--!]
it all returns to chimera ants
Like I was saying... [He starts (without looking at Knuckle, sorry, but the side view of his face doesn't hide his drawn expression), and then trails off. His first instinct is to insist there's nothing to worry about, but is that... dismissive?
They're supposed to be opening up still, right, so he ought to resist the urge to slam the metaphorical door in Knuckle's face. Right. Somehow.]
... The whole world, huh? [That's a lot of pressure, man.] When I said I would've done the same...
[No, no, abort mission, this is way too melodramatic!! How can it be this hard to say 'you're important to me,' anyway?]
you're not wrong
Wait, wait, why's he trailing off?
Without thinking, he reaches forward and grabs at that wrist in return, to draw his attention more than anything. His thumb slips a bit so he's half grabbing his palm, but he doesn't notice.]
Hey, what about it?
as it should be, stares into camera
The usual yelling would be more relaxing than the present situation, he thinks. Damn.]
Well... We're- we're partners, so— of course you'd come first.
[Strike him down where he stands, that STILL... isn't what he was trying to go for, hm.]
kite is dead
He grips Shoot's hand tighter in his thinking. Once again, he doesn't notice what he's doing at all. What a guy.]
Shoot...
[Shit, it feels like words are stuck in his throat right now. What the hell does he do? Say? Think?? It probably doesn't help that he's staring at Shoot's face right now.]
what the fuck you come into my house you tell me kite is dead on this the day of my son's wedding
He waits then, for Knuckle to say something else, but seconds tick by and nothing is happening— Is something else wrong? Help him out, here! All he knows is that Knuckle was important before the way any comrade is important, but somehow lately that's changed and apparently it's going to be a thing now whether he wants it to or not.
He looks like he might bolt at any second, but he hasn't! Now if only Knuckle would say something.] —What?
yes
[Oh. Right, he said his name. It comes to him slowly, and maybe he isn't out of this daze after all. He blinks down to their hands, his grip loosening only to let his fingers twitch slightly in place. His thumb slides over Shoot's automatically, stopping there before any of the other fingers might follow. Instead, he pulls it up between them, the hands they're holding, standing here again in the middle of the sidewalk.
Man, his throat feels all dry, for some reason.]
Oh. [He's on a roll.] I was...
[Damn it, damn it!! What the hell's he doing, acting like a dope?! Swallowing hard and going with the sudden, fiery burst of energy that fills his chest like usual, he looks up to Shoot's face again.]
I won't... let anything like that happen to you again! [Hm. Well that's-- close enough. Despite the passion behind those words, too, he isn't yelling them, actually. But he does look down between them, focusing as he unthinkingly brings Shoot's hand to his lips and kisses the back of it.
He...
Wait. He...
He kissed Shoot's hand. And now he seems to be stuck.]
no subject
Ah. Well.
His enthusiastic declaration gets Shoot to look up to his face again, and while that's- an odd thing to say, maybe, as if he gets into trouble like that often- the feeling behind it calms him down a little, somehow. It's nice, he thinks, comforting— and that moment would last longer if not for Knuckle kissing his hand.
It's a credit to how stunned he is that he doesn't yank his hand away, honestly. He's left staring at Knuckle with an expression that looks like it was hesitantly happy about his really dorky declaration and now is just as stuck as Knuckle is.
Ah. That's- that is. What is he supposed to do now??
His mind races, trips over itself, sticks on 'It's nice' and then Shoot finally unfreezes. He tugs his hand away only to rearrange them both, lace his fingers through Knuckle's and squeeze. And this- would probably be much more casual if his expression wasn't incredibly serious, but listen, he's not the one giving knight in shining armor hand kisses...
The right words to say still elude him. Work with him here.]
no subject
And then, he grips that hand back and tugs it with him in a quick movement, storming forward once more. He's trying to hide the redness of his face, but it shows even more in his ears from behind, and the hunching of his posture doesn't help.
He's still holding his hand with their fingers laced like this as they walk along.]
S-shut up, don't say anything, idiot! You're giving me weird looks! You're over thinking it, I didn't mean anything by that at all!!
no subject
When Knuckle yanks them back to walking, Shoot almost stumbles out of surprise. They're still holding hands, but he's saying-?
Oh, wait... this is Knuckle. So, then—] I- I wasn't going to say anything! [Honestly true.] Why don't you tell me what you meant, then?
[Take that ball aggressively volleyed back the hell out of his court, he can't handle it.]
no subject
Shit. Shit shit shit, what did he mean? He doesn't know! Or does he know?! He doesn't want to know! What the hell's he supposed to do?!
There's a very long pause as he argues internally with himself, but eventually, there is something of an answer.]
S-shut up! [Well, no, that's not an answer at all, and yet, it should make things clearer, with how Knuckle is. He can't bring himself to even look back at Shoot, and the redness hasn't let up at all.
He can't believe... Is this really... How the hell could he have been so blind?! And what the hell is he supposed to do about this now, anyway...! If Morel saw this, he'd definitely laugh! Shit, no, he couldn't find out... And what was Shoot thinking? Was he--
Well... He had definitely moved to hold his hand, he realized. Now, his grip lets up a little, and he pays more attention to each finger between his own. This isn't a very bro thing to do...........
So Shoot must be fine with it?
By now, Knuckle's practically half hunched over himself as he walks, his free hand reflexively at his forehead. He wasn't trained for this...]
no subject
But this is the part where he's supposed to take charge, isn't it, and snap Knuckle out of his mood. Knuckle overreacts and he provides the reason, that's how they've always done things. He doesn't feel at all calm enough, though...
Looking at Knuckle having a crisis makes up his mind for him, and not just about that— this whole thing... He's- well, if Knuckle kisses his hand and he thinks it's nice before he wants to put a few dozen yards between them, then it's pretty obvious. He doesn't have time to wonder about how or when (or why, honestly) with Knuckle looking like he's going to explode at any second, which might actually be fortunate.
So, tightening his grip just moments after Knuckle loosens his, so that he doesn't let go and stomp away, Shoot stops walking. Right there. Still in the middle of the sidewalk. He's made up his mind, damn it, and someone is going to use real words here or so help him-!!]
Knuckle! I won't go any further until you talk to me!
[he sat up in a tree for like 5 hours man he can stand here ALL NIGHT]
no subject
Damn it.
He wants to decline, to tell Shoot why he's not going to or march off into hiding in some other way, but guilt from just earlier eats at him. Here he was, ranting about feeling bad about leaving Shoot behind as a partner until that dangerous moment, and now he was doing it again?
This is what it was. He did this so often, did he even realize when he was doing it?]
Shoot... [A pause, and he straightens himself a little, looking him in the eye this time. He seems determined, if not a complete wreck otherwise.]
I'm sorry. I let my emotions get the best of me. [As per usual... But don't say that.] The truth is...
[The truth. What was the truth? He thinks about it for a long moment, mouth hanging open as he tries to find the right words. Eventually, something falls out.] ...How much I care about you, it was...-- That thing I did...
[And it's still nothing pieced together perfectly, but hey, progress.]
no subject
Ah, but this is the usual... He thinks that much, keeping his mouth shut only because Knuckle will either cry or punch him and cry if he interrupts, he thinks.
Still, at the end of it, he's still waiting. There's another slightly too long pause while he waits to see if Knuckle is going to add anything else, before he says anything. Awkwardly, but:]
I didn't mind— don't mind. [does it... does it help if he clarifies this, out loud] I'm not- angry, it's...
[Just as bumbling as Knuckle's attempt. It seems his determination doesn't come with extra smooth lines. What he thinks of to say is basically something he said before in a different order, but it will have to do.
someone give him strength, shitty YA novels give him strength tbh]
You're... [Ah, no, he can't do it. He can only trail off and lamely look away, muttering something that surely contains the words 'more' and 'important' and 'to me.'
YA lit sucks]
no subject
Damn it... [He mutters, first, looking down between them and shaking his head a little.] Look at us, we can't even talk! [There's a bit of humor behind his irritation this time, and that should be a clear sign that he's not yelling AT Shoot, or angry at the situation.]
Damn it, screw this! I'm not going to stand around like some kid! [He says that, but as he reaches forward with a free hand and grabs at Shoot's collar to drag him down, he pauses when he's at his level just to grumble.]
If you make fun of me for this, I'm gonna kick your ass!
[With only that as warning, he follows this strange instinct that he still doesn't understand and kisses him, clumsy and honest.]
no subject
He's yanked down and his little grin is shocked off his face, replaced by a pointless 'um' of surprise and a wide-eyed look. Knuckle is still going on, getting more and more worked up, and then their lips meet and Shoot has no earthly idea what to do.
The obvious is there, of course, but he doesn't- he doesn't know how to kiss someone!! That Knuckle is clumsy and just as lost as he is sort of helps, but for a distinct moment he feels like his whole body has locked up and left him stuck there, stooped over and doing nothing for eternity.
In reality it's maybe three seconds, tops, but it feels longer before he presses back into the kiss with all the finesse of someone making it up as he goes along. Is he doing it right, he thinks he should be doing something else too but his hand is still squeezed in Knuckle's.
Well, he hopes he's doing it right.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
crawls out from my inbox jesus christ
old man knuckle......
he sure is... by uploading more icons I may have ruined all the old ones, ignore that
for the sake of small dorito, i will
thank
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
am i real i whisper as i slam these all down
you are the realest and shoot is precious
for ironic purposes i'm not going to announce my return