[Shoot really means this— not even Knuckle's 30 moods per minute can shake him now. That's the idea, anyway, and he does rather well at holding his ground and looking like he means it. He can wait.
Ah, but this is the usual... He thinks that much, keeping his mouth shut only because Knuckle will either cry or punch him and cry if he interrupts, he thinks.
Still, at the end of it, he's still waiting. There's another slightly too long pause while he waits to see if Knuckle is going to add anything else, before he says anything. Awkwardly, but:]
I didn't mind— don't mind. [does it... does it help if he clarifies this, out loud] I'm not- angry, it's...
[Just as bumbling as Knuckle's attempt. It seems his determination doesn't come with extra smooth lines. What he thinks of to say is basically something he said before in a different order, but it will have to do.
someone give him strength, shitty YA novels give him strength tbh]
You're... [Ah, no, he can't do it. He can only trail off and lamely look away, muttering something that surely contains the words 'more' and 'important' and 'to me.'
[Knuckle is frozen during all of that, watching Shoot as he speaks. Attempts to speak? The words set in, and he thinks he gets the implication, but it's hard to say with so much missing. His chest is so tight he thinks he might burst, his head is pounding, his hand is way too hot holding Shoot's like this...]
Damn it... [He mutters, first, looking down between them and shaking his head a little.] Look at us, we can't even talk! [There's a bit of humor behind his irritation this time, and that should be a clear sign that he's not yelling AT Shoot, or angry at the situation.]
Damn it, screw this! I'm not going to stand around like some kid! [He says that, but as he reaches forward with a free hand and grabs at Shoot's collar to drag him down, he pauses when he's at his level just to grumble.]
If you make fun of me for this, I'm gonna kick your ass!
[With only that as warning, he follows this strange instinct that he still doesn't understand and kisses him, clumsy and honest.]
[That's true, at least - that they're idiots who can't even speak. Saying that gets Shoot to grin, albeit weakly. They've been at this for way too long now. That much doesn't need to be explained more clearly, at least...
He's yanked down and his little grin is shocked off his face, replaced by a pointless 'um' of surprise and a wide-eyed look. Knuckle is still going on, getting more and more worked up, and then their lips meet and Shoot has no earthly idea what to do.
The obvious is there, of course, but he doesn't- he doesn't know how to kiss someone!! That Knuckle is clumsy and just as lost as he is sort of helps, but for a distinct moment he feels like his whole body has locked up and left him stuck there, stooped over and doing nothing for eternity.
In reality it's maybe three seconds, tops, but it feels longer before he presses back into the kiss with all the finesse of someone making it up as he goes along. Is he doing it right, he thinks he should be doing something else too but his hand is still squeezed in Knuckle's.
[To be honest, Knuckle wouldn't know if he was doing it right or wrong to begin with. He just knew it felt nice. That it made the last bit of tension fall away as he realized it wasn't just him, it was both of them. That three second pause was terrifying, but after that? He was sure!
He's so glad. Somehow, embarrassment falls mostly with that, as well, leaving such a small amount that he can shove it to the side for other, more positive feelings.
Like happiness. It's enough that after a strong minute or so of kissing, he pulls back and laughs. It's light, and he has to raise a free hand to wipe at the corner of his eyes and make sure no tears fall with it.]
Shit... [He needs to explain his laughter, or it'll be taken wrong. He knows that much.] We really are idiots.
[In the middle of a sidewalk, being awkward... His laughing finally slows to a stop, but he's practically beaming. What an embarrassment.]
[The worry about doing it wrong doesn't fade entirely the longer they're kissing like this, but it simmers down enough that Shoot can put it with the rest of his usual background radiation of worrying about things. It was sudden and clumsy, but it's softer than he expected, somehow (when did he stop to imagine it, even). Yet again it's just nice, and that's enough.
Shoot straightens up when they break apart and gives Knuckle and odd look - is he really, are there going to be tears, why is he laughing - but then his slight grin is back and less dreadfully nervous than before.
They are definitely idiots, and Knuckle is really embarrassing right now, so much that Shoot can barely look him in the face, and still - everything worked out just fine! He's happy, not not nervous but with a new and different set of nerves, and Knuckle...
He looks away slightly because he's actually crossed the event horizon of looking at Knuckle looking at him like that. There's a whole smile on his face and he doesn't have a hand free to cover it, call the presses.]
Well— we'll get better at that. [at not being idiots?? at kissing?? who knows.]
[He's honestly impressed that Shoot hasn't run away by now. This was a good sign!! Grinning down at their joined hands, he squeezes them one more time (gently) before moving to step backwards and tug him along. It's light, and not in a rush this time, and he'll slowly face forward over time.
At least then he'll be free from that look.]
Yeah, we will! [He sounds really confident in that, for whatever meaning he took it as.] I can't even remember why the hell I wanted this walk in the first place! But now, at least we can enjoy it.
[Without any more awkward fumbling, right? ...Right! He's pushed awkward feelings to the back of his mind and is focusing on the positive, after all.]
[Their hands are going to be stuck like this forever, it's the only fate left.
Shoot's less fretful when they finally make it to walking side by side and not staring at each other. He can look at other things that don't make his stomach turn over and just listen to Knuckle's continued enthusiasm, which is also nice in its own way.
Like, right now when no one is crying and they're both feeling agreeable. He'll think about that later, maybe—
But wow, if Morel wasn't the last thing he wanted to think about entirely!! Flip nothing, at that comment his stomach drops like a rock. Morel...]
He's going to know... [does he not know everything they do, sooner or later??]
You think he'll say something?
[Like make fun of them!! Or tell them his students can't kiss for some ancient stoner reason!!]
Edited (hang on i can't spell nOW GOES INTO THE NIGHT) 2015-02-19 06:12 (UTC)
[That stoned old man..... Knuckle looks seriously thrown off by this, though, because he can see that point. Damn... Maybe they'd just have to avoid him for a while!
Looking forward again, he brings a free hand to his chin.]
He wouldn't shut up about it! I just don't know if he'd tell us or Palm's damn teacher... [Frightening, really. Knuckle almost seems carefree, now, all of a sudden. He is, really. Shoot's hand is in his and it feels natural, somehow, just like saving him back there despite never giving a damn before had.
He's starting to think maybe he did give a damn. This was some heavy denial, but it wouldn't be the first time... Was it better that he didn't notice until now? Was Shoot in the same boat?
He'll probably think about this more later on his own, when he's not worried about the gossip of old men.]
[Shoot hums grimly; yes, he does believe Morel has arcane stoner powers of knowing... or at least knows them both far too well for any illusions of privacy to exist. He likes Morel, honestly, in his own unclear way (oh... is that bad habit why this took as long as it did? He won't think about it), but the man has no boundaries.
Both of these gossipy old men... He makes a face; they need more friends, all of them.] As long as they're not taking bets.
[god what if they already have, when will Shoot's tragic and imploring looks from across the room get through to Morel that he's totally tired of being involved in half their bets??? why these oldies]
... But while we're on the subject, don't tell Palm, either.
[He thinks on that, and then three more faces of people they shouldn't tell come to mind. Three more, and more, until practically everyone's faces are floating around, giving him taunting looks.
Tensing and shaking his head as he walks with too much energy, he sighs loudly.]
Aghhh, these bastards are going to make fun of us no matter what!! That's it! I'm not letting them hold me back!
[Though he thinks to himself, as an afterthought, that he doesn't even know what the hell he's doing anyway...]
[Shoot's mercifully not accosted by the same mental images. Just Palm and Morel are enough to give him pause, but maybe they really can... keep a secret.
—Or not, apparently, from Knuckle's exclamation. Shoot looks sideways at him, almost warily. If it's inevitable that Everyone is going to Know, he'd honestly rather they find out with as much subtlety as possible.]
In that case, let them figure it out themselves. [do not pick up a megaphone he will put you in his creepy cage he swears
... Hmm. Being made fun of isn't appealing, but for the record-?] I care more about what you think, anyway.
[Grumbling, Knuckle almost tries to cross his arms before he remembers he's holding a hand with one of them, and so it turns into an awkward sort of swing for a few steps. He looks up and away and all over as they walk, too, thinking like he's deeply focusing...
And he is, actually.]
Okay, well... [With a sideglance he likes to think is subtle, he watches Shoot as he mumbles out the next words as nonchalantly as he can. Which is to say it's not. He can't.] I'm thinking... What exactly are we gonna let 'em figure out, anyway?
[Is this a... Thing, or... ...What was this, now. Shoot's the logical one, so asking him is best!!]
[More waiting... Shoot doesn't feel as nervous this time; they're already walking around holding hands, so he sort of figured that question was already answered. He's holding Knuckle's hand and isn't possessed by a powerful urge to push him away with three more- that's clear to him...!
Having already made up his mind helps him respond to Knuckle's question with just an exasperated look, then, instead of bailing entirely. What would he have done if Shoot hadn't brought it up? Just gone on- doing what??
But, fine, he can articulate feelings better after someone else has already made the first move. Loopholes.]
Do you want to hold hands and kiss more often, or is this it?
[Granted, this is the least romantic way he could have phrased this.]
[Okay... He was expecting actual help, not this. Sputtering and half falling over himself, Knuckle whirls to face Shoot even as they keep walking, continuing his dramatic hand gestures even as they keep holding hands-- none of this should be surprising.]
What the hell kind of question is that?! [WHO... Okay, no, he won't ask that because he understands Shoot is a fucking weirdo. But. Ahhh... actually, the more he thinks on it, the more that's a good question. It's-- he wants more, right? Is he offering?
Squinting and acting like he's still completely offended and bothered by it all, he points with his free hand, looking skeptical.]
Don't mess with me, fool! You're trying to get me to admit it first, aren't you? Well, too bad! [Knuckle you just did, though.] You answer that question first!
[This is helping. Shoot's definitely not surprised by any of this reaction- he's weird, Knuckle is Loud, it's expected. It's just slightly unfortunate that his moods seem to vacillate between "panic" and "50/50 chance of being a jerk."
He could salvage this by not being a bit of a jackass, but... they'll be here all night if he does that. It's easier to be frank when Knuckle is wigging out, anyway.]
Don't yell. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to do it again. [duh!!]
[Damn it, it's pissing him off! Shoot's acting so composed. Why?! That wasn't fair at all! Weren't they both napping awkwardly in a bed and then reading books together, today?! Shoot was sweating nervously the whole time! Or close to it.
He didn't get to sound like the one in control of his emotions! Even if, realistically and in comparison, he was...]
How long have you known this, huh?! Don't tell me you were just waiting around while I had no idea! [He's avoiding admitting things here, but details.]
[Ah, well that gets his tenuous grasp on being in control to deflate. How long as he known? He doesn't know! Does Knuckle think he's been keeping count, or even noticed before it was suddenly too obvious to ignore-!
He can't even say when that was with certainty. Maybe in the hospital...? He doesn't have enough social reference points for this task.]
I wasn't! Don't make it sound so— [He frowns; so YA lit, wow.] Does it matter how long, as this point?
[No, it doesn't. Just for his pride's sake, but why does he even care why. Well, he wants to know, who's the werewolf here?? Important YA lit questions.]
You're dodging it again! Come on, are you nervous or something? [Hm, maybe he's not making him comfortable. Slowly, his yelling peters out over those sentences, and he squeezes their hands lightly as they walk. By now, he's looking elsewhere.]
[No, this is the worst. Knuckle calming down barely helps, mainly because Shoot really doesn't know. That's probably not the answer Knuckle wants to hear, as (way too) seriously as he takes these things— "Oh, I dunno, whenever"?
He's cringing a little just thinking about it. God, this is ridiculous - it was probably in the hospital, so he's just going to go with that.]
In the hospital, I guess... [yep that sounds as bad as he imagined.] I mean, I had a lot of time to—think about things.
[That actually gets Knuckle quiet again. His mouth flattens into a line as he stares forward, trying to consider. Maybe Shoot was right. Maybe it doesn't matter. (Now that he has to think of it for himself, at least.)
Scuffing the ground with his feet a bit as he walks, Knuckle's shoulders hunch over some more.]
[Why is he quiet now? Shoot gave him an answer, was it wrong? There isn't a wrong answer, that's stupid, but— ugh, he didn't want to say anything for this reason!!
He couldn't have said something, of that much he's sure for a variety of reasons (first of all, he was in a full body cast for a couple days), but he squeezes Knuckle's hand and tries to make his voice sound light and casual,]
I could hardly say anything today. It wasn't because of you. [he's a loser... man does that sound bad too, probably] I'm not good at this...
[He's surprised at first. Shoot... He must be struggling with this more than he even thought. He's always so nervous-- maybe there was a way he could help with that? His own nervousness falls to the wayside as he grins suddenly, bringing his free hand in a fist to his chest. Over his heart.]
...Well, it's true that you could have said something [thanks Knuckle] but it worked out in the end anyway. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, either...
But we're partners. [You can probably feel the shonen sparkles.] If you ever have something you don't know how to say, I can figure it out! You always do the same for me, right?
At least they can both admit they have no idea what they're doing, even if nothing else comes out smoothly. Shoot thinks it's probably a bit... lame... to be comforted by this, but he still is. He squeezes Knuckle's hand again, more determinedly this time.]
Mm. Alright. [One word in response to that shonen speech, yes, typical Shoot. But he looks relaxed again, which says more than his awkward verbal replies could, anyway.
[Oh. His mouth flattens at that and he looks forward, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. Haha... He had to think back to remember what questions at all, since he was so busy just trying to understand Shoot, but.]
Hell yeah, I want to! [He's looking forward and not at Shoot as he says this, now, but he's just embarrassed, even through enthusiasm.] But don't think this means I'm all sappy or anything, I'm not gonna get emotional...!
[Why does Knuckle make everything so emotional (he definitely is) when his answers are so simple? Shoot has to wonder this, not for the first time, at that reply. Hell yeah - he's never been hell yeah'd in his life. What a new experience...]
Good. It's good that you want to. [nice save... not calling him out on being a crybaby this time] So—I don't care if Morel knows, or anyone...
[He will Try not to sweat nervously too much, at the very least. Is that everything settled?? For now?
good because he has a very important subject change]
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Ah, but this is the usual... He thinks that much, keeping his mouth shut only because Knuckle will either cry or punch him and cry if he interrupts, he thinks.
Still, at the end of it, he's still waiting. There's another slightly too long pause while he waits to see if Knuckle is going to add anything else, before he says anything. Awkwardly, but:]
I didn't mind— don't mind. [does it... does it help if he clarifies this, out loud] I'm not- angry, it's...
[Just as bumbling as Knuckle's attempt. It seems his determination doesn't come with extra smooth lines. What he thinks of to say is basically something he said before in a different order, but it will have to do.
someone give him strength, shitty YA novels give him strength tbh]
You're... [Ah, no, he can't do it. He can only trail off and lamely look away, muttering something that surely contains the words 'more' and 'important' and 'to me.'
YA lit sucks]
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Damn it... [He mutters, first, looking down between them and shaking his head a little.] Look at us, we can't even talk! [There's a bit of humor behind his irritation this time, and that should be a clear sign that he's not yelling AT Shoot, or angry at the situation.]
Damn it, screw this! I'm not going to stand around like some kid! [He says that, but as he reaches forward with a free hand and grabs at Shoot's collar to drag him down, he pauses when he's at his level just to grumble.]
If you make fun of me for this, I'm gonna kick your ass!
[With only that as warning, he follows this strange instinct that he still doesn't understand and kisses him, clumsy and honest.]
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He's yanked down and his little grin is shocked off his face, replaced by a pointless 'um' of surprise and a wide-eyed look. Knuckle is still going on, getting more and more worked up, and then their lips meet and Shoot has no earthly idea what to do.
The obvious is there, of course, but he doesn't- he doesn't know how to kiss someone!! That Knuckle is clumsy and just as lost as he is sort of helps, but for a distinct moment he feels like his whole body has locked up and left him stuck there, stooped over and doing nothing for eternity.
In reality it's maybe three seconds, tops, but it feels longer before he presses back into the kiss with all the finesse of someone making it up as he goes along. Is he doing it right, he thinks he should be doing something else too but his hand is still squeezed in Knuckle's.
Well, he hopes he's doing it right.]
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He's so glad. Somehow, embarrassment falls mostly with that, as well, leaving such a small amount that he can shove it to the side for other, more positive feelings.
Like happiness. It's enough that after a strong minute or so of kissing, he pulls back and laughs. It's light, and he has to raise a free hand to wipe at the corner of his eyes and make sure no tears fall with it.]
Shit... [He needs to explain his laughter, or it'll be taken wrong. He knows that much.] We really are idiots.
[In the middle of a sidewalk, being awkward... His laughing finally slows to a stop, but he's practically beaming. What an embarrassment.]
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Shoot straightens up when they break apart and gives Knuckle and odd look - is he really, are there going to be tears, why is he laughing - but then his slight grin is back and less dreadfully nervous than before.
They are definitely idiots, and Knuckle is really embarrassing right now, so much that Shoot can barely look him in the face, and still - everything worked out just fine! He's happy, not not nervous but with a new and different set of nerves, and Knuckle...
He looks away slightly because he's actually crossed the event horizon of looking at Knuckle looking at him like that. There's a whole smile on his face and he doesn't have a hand free to cover it, call the presses.]
Well— we'll get better at that. [at not being idiots?? at kissing?? who knows.]
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At least then he'll be free from that look.]
Yeah, we will! [He sounds really confident in that, for whatever meaning he took it as.] I can't even remember why the hell I wanted this walk in the first place! But now, at least we can enjoy it.
[Without any more awkward fumbling, right? ...Right! He's pushed awkward feelings to the back of his mind and is focusing on the positive, after all.]
...By the way, don't tell Morel.
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Shoot's less fretful when they finally make it to walking side by side and not staring at each other. He can look at other things that don't make his stomach turn over and just listen to Knuckle's continued enthusiasm, which is also nice in its own way.
Like, right now when no one is crying and they're both feeling agreeable. He'll think about that later, maybe—
But wow, if Morel wasn't the last thing he wanted to think about entirely!! Flip nothing, at that comment his stomach drops like a rock. Morel...]
He's going to know... [does he not know everything they do, sooner or later??]
You think he'll say something?
[Like make fun of them!! Or tell them his students can't kiss for some ancient stoner reason!!]
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[That stoned old man..... Knuckle looks seriously thrown off by this, though, because he can see that point. Damn... Maybe they'd just have to avoid him for a while!
Looking forward again, he brings a free hand to his chin.]
He wouldn't shut up about it! I just don't know if he'd tell us or Palm's damn teacher... [Frightening, really. Knuckle almost seems carefree, now, all of a sudden. He is, really. Shoot's hand is in his and it feels natural, somehow, just like saving him back there despite never giving a damn before had.
He's starting to think maybe he did give a damn. This was some heavy denial, but it wouldn't be the first time... Was it better that he didn't notice until now? Was Shoot in the same boat?
He'll probably think about this more later on his own, when he's not worried about the gossip of old men.]
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Both of these gossipy old men... He makes a face; they need more friends, all of them.] As long as they're not taking bets.
[god what if they already have, when will Shoot's tragic and imploring looks from across the room get through to Morel that he's totally tired of being involved in half their bets??? why these oldies]
... But while we're on the subject, don't tell Palm, either.
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Tensing and shaking his head as he walks with too much energy, he sighs loudly.]
Aghhh, these bastards are going to make fun of us no matter what!! That's it! I'm not letting them hold me back!
[Though he thinks to himself, as an afterthought, that he doesn't even know what the hell he's doing anyway...]
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—Or not, apparently, from Knuckle's exclamation. Shoot looks sideways at him, almost warily. If it's inevitable that Everyone is going to Know, he'd honestly rather they find out with as much subtlety as possible.]
In that case, let them figure it out themselves. [do not pick up a megaphone he will put you in his creepy cage he swears
... Hmm. Being made fun of isn't appealing, but for the record-?] I care more about what you think, anyway.
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[Grumbling, Knuckle almost tries to cross his arms before he remembers he's holding a hand with one of them, and so it turns into an awkward sort of swing for a few steps. He looks up and away and all over as they walk, too, thinking like he's deeply focusing...
And he is, actually.]
Okay, well... [With a sideglance he likes to think is subtle, he watches Shoot as he mumbles out the next words as nonchalantly as he can. Which is to say it's not. He can't.] I'm thinking... What exactly are we gonna let 'em figure out, anyway?
[Is this a... Thing, or... ...What was this, now. Shoot's the logical one, so asking him is best!!]
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Having already made up his mind helps him respond to Knuckle's question with just an exasperated look, then, instead of bailing entirely. What would he have done if Shoot hadn't brought it up? Just gone on- doing what??
But, fine, he can articulate feelings better after someone else has already made the first move. Loopholes.]
Do you want to hold hands and kiss more often, or is this it?
[Granted, this is the least romantic way he could have phrased this.]
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What the hell kind of question is that?! [WHO... Okay, no, he won't ask that because he understands Shoot is a fucking weirdo. But. Ahhh... actually, the more he thinks on it, the more that's a good question. It's-- he wants more, right? Is he offering?
Squinting and acting like he's still completely offended and bothered by it all, he points with his free hand, looking skeptical.]
Don't mess with me, fool! You're trying to get me to admit it first, aren't you? Well, too bad! [Knuckle you just did, though.] You answer that question first!
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He could salvage this by not being a bit of a jackass, but... they'll be here all night if he does that. It's easier to be frank when Knuckle is wigging out, anyway.]
Don't yell. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to do it again. [duh!!]
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[Damn it, it's pissing him off! Shoot's acting so composed. Why?! That wasn't fair at all! Weren't they both napping awkwardly in a bed and then reading books together, today?! Shoot was sweating nervously the whole time! Or close to it.
He didn't get to sound like the one in control of his emotions! Even if, realistically and in comparison, he was...]
How long have you known this, huh?! Don't tell me you were just waiting around while I had no idea! [He's avoiding admitting things here, but details.]
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He can't even say when that was with certainty. Maybe in the hospital...? He doesn't have enough social reference points for this task.]
I wasn't! Don't make it sound so— [He frowns; so YA lit, wow.] Does it matter how long, as this point?
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[No, it doesn't. Just for his pride's sake, but why does he even care why. Well, he wants to know, who's the werewolf here?? Important YA lit questions.]
You're dodging it again! Come on, are you nervous or something? [Hm, maybe he's not making him comfortable. Slowly, his yelling peters out over those sentences, and he squeezes their hands lightly as they walk. By now, he's looking elsewhere.]
You can say... It's just me.
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He's cringing a little just thinking about it. God, this is ridiculous - it was probably in the hospital, so he's just going to go with that.]
In the hospital, I guess... [yep that sounds as bad as he imagined.] I mean, I had a lot of time to—think about things.
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Scuffing the ground with his feet a bit as he walks, Knuckle's shoulders hunch over some more.]
You could've said something.
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He couldn't have said something, of that much he's sure for a variety of reasons (first of all, he was in a full body cast for a couple days), but he squeezes Knuckle's hand and tries to make his voice sound light and casual,]
I could hardly say anything today. It wasn't because of you. [he's a loser... man does that sound bad too, probably] I'm not good at this...
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...Well, it's true that you could have said something [thanks Knuckle] but it worked out in the end anyway. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, either...
But we're partners. [You can probably feel the shonen sparkles.] If you ever have something you don't know how to say, I can figure it out! You always do the same for me, right?
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At least they can both admit they have no idea what they're doing, even if nothing else comes out smoothly. Shoot thinks it's probably a bit... lame... to be comforted by this, but he still is. He squeezes Knuckle's hand again, more determinedly this time.]
Mm. Alright. [One word in response to that shonen speech, yes, typical Shoot. But he looks relaxed again, which says more than his awkward verbal replies could, anyway.
Wait for it.]
... You made me answer all the questions. [bruh]
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Hell yeah, I want to! [He's looking forward and not at Shoot as he says this, now, but he's just embarrassed, even through enthusiasm.] But don't think this means I'm all sappy or anything, I'm not gonna get emotional...!
[He already did.]
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Good. It's good that you want to. [nice save... not calling him out on being a crybaby this time] So—I don't care if Morel knows, or anyone...
[He will Try not to sweat nervously too much, at the very least. Is that everything settled?? For now?
good because he has a very important subject change]
Where are we going?
crawls out from my inbox jesus christ
old man knuckle......
he sure is... by uploading more icons I may have ruined all the old ones, ignore that
for the sake of small dorito, i will
thank
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am i real i whisper as i slam these all down
you are the realest and shoot is precious
for ironic purposes i'm not going to announce my return