[Shoot wants to look away, honestly. This is too much, he barely knows what his feelings are doing or what he's talking about, but when Knuckle keeps looking at him like that, he suddenly can't turn away. And squeezing his hand-!
He waits then, for Knuckle to say something else, but seconds tick by and nothing is happening— Is something else wrong? Help him out, here! All he knows is that Knuckle was important before the way any comrade is important, but somehow lately that's changed and apparently it's going to be a thing now whether he wants it to or not.
He looks like he might bolt at any second, but he hasn't! Now if only Knuckle would say something.] —What?
[Oh. Right, he said his name. It comes to him slowly, and maybe he isn't out of this daze after all. He blinks down to their hands, his grip loosening only to let his fingers twitch slightly in place. His thumb slides over Shoot's automatically, stopping there before any of the other fingers might follow. Instead, he pulls it up between them, the hands they're holding, standing here again in the middle of the sidewalk.
Man, his throat feels all dry, for some reason.]
Oh. [He's on a roll.] I was...
[Damn it, damn it!! What the hell's he doing, acting like a dope?! Swallowing hard and going with the sudden, fiery burst of energy that fills his chest like usual, he looks up to Shoot's face again.]
I won't... let anything like that happen to you again! [Hm. Well that's-- close enough. Despite the passion behind those words, too, he isn't yelling them, actually. But he does look down between them, focusing as he unthinkingly brings Shoot's hand to his lips and kisses the back of it.
He...
Wait. He...
He kissed Shoot's hand. And now he seems to be stuck.]
[Shoot gives him a sort of pained look for - apparently - zoning out over and over in the middle of conversation. Don't make him repeat himself, at least... He tries to focus on something else and winds up looking at their hands when Knuckle pulls on them.
Ah. Well.
His enthusiastic declaration gets Shoot to look up to his face again, and while that's- an odd thing to say, maybe, as if he gets into trouble like that often- the feeling behind it calms him down a little, somehow. It's nice, he thinks, comforting— and that moment would last longer if not for Knuckle kissing his hand.
It's a credit to how stunned he is that he doesn't yank his hand away, honestly. He's left staring at Knuckle with an expression that looks like it was hesitantly happy about his really dorky declaration and now is just as stuck as Knuckle is.
Ah. That's- that is. What is he supposed to do now??
His mind races, trips over itself, sticks on 'It's nice' and then Shoot finally unfreezes. He tugs his hand away only to rearrange them both, lace his fingers through Knuckle's and squeeze. And this- would probably be much more casual if his expression wasn't incredibly serious, but listen, he's not the one giving knight in shining armor hand kisses...
The right words to say still elude him. Work with him here.]
[That surprises him even further than his own actions. His eyes widen, his face goes a noticeably bright red, and his chest aches with how much his heart is jumping around in shock. It looks like he's trying to load up the right expression, shifting tensely between them and moving his lips like he wants to say something but can't quite figure out what.
And then, he grips that hand back and tugs it with him in a quick movement, storming forward once more. He's trying to hide the redness of his face, but it shows even more in his ears from behind, and the hunching of his posture doesn't help.
He's still holding his hand with their fingers laced like this as they walk along.]
S-shut up, don't say anything, idiot! You're giving me weird looks! You're over thinking it, I didn't mean anything by that at all!!
[Again, Shoot is stuck waiting. Knuckle's supposed to be the talkative one, he can't fill this role, what is he supposed to do but look at him and wait?? He's not even sure if this is a good reaction but he keeps his overly serious expression in place (with some effort).
When Knuckle yanks them back to walking, Shoot almost stumbles out of surprise. They're still holding hands, but he's saying-?
Oh, wait... this is Knuckle. So, then—] I- I wasn't going to say anything! [Honestly true.] Why don't you tell me what you meant, then?
[Take that ball aggressively volleyed back the hell out of his court, he can't handle it.]
[At that question, his heart just about stops, and he misses a step in his walking. He catches himself, of course!! But there's a very noticeable stumble, and the strength with which he's gripping Shoot's hand may be a bit too much by now.
Shit. Shit shit shit, what did he mean? He doesn't know! Or does he know?! He doesn't want to know! What the hell's he supposed to do?!
There's a very long pause as he argues internally with himself, but eventually, there is something of an answer.]
S-shut up! [Well, no, that's not an answer at all, and yet, it should make things clearer, with how Knuckle is. He can't bring himself to even look back at Shoot, and the redness hasn't let up at all.
He can't believe... Is this really... How the hell could he have been so blind?! And what the hell is he supposed to do about this now, anyway...! If Morel saw this, he'd definitely laugh! Shit, no, he couldn't find out... And what was Shoot thinking? Was he--
Well... He had definitely moved to hold his hand, he realized. Now, his grip lets up a little, and he pays more attention to each finger between his own. This isn't a very bro thing to do...........
So Shoot must be fine with it?
By now, Knuckle's practically half hunched over himself as he walks, his free hand reflexively at his forehead. He wasn't trained for this...]
[Just once, Shoot would like to have a conversation where he's not told to shut up a dozen times. He'll shut up later, when he has a real answer and doesn't have to worry about how fast his heart is beating or whether he'll be ending this day with a trip back to the hospital for a sprained hand. Knuckle please.
But this is the part where he's supposed to take charge, isn't it, and snap Knuckle out of his mood. Knuckle overreacts and he provides the reason, that's how they've always done things. He doesn't feel at all calm enough, though...
Looking at Knuckle having a crisis makes up his mind for him, and not just about that— this whole thing... He's- well, if Knuckle kisses his hand and he thinks it's nice before he wants to put a few dozen yards between them, then it's pretty obvious. He doesn't have time to wonder about how or when (or why, honestly) with Knuckle looking like he's going to explode at any second, which might actually be fortunate.
So, tightening his grip just moments after Knuckle loosens his, so that he doesn't let go and stomp away, Shoot stops walking. Right there. Still in the middle of the sidewalk. He's made up his mind, damn it, and someone is going to use real words here or so help him-!!]
Knuckle! I won't go any further until you talk to me!
[he sat up in a tree for like 5 hours man he can stand here ALL NIGHT]
[Stopping dead in the sidewalk does work, since he tries to keep walking and is jolted back by the sudden resistance. He whirls around immediately, angry and red in the face, but that fades once he realizes he'd whirled to face Shoot at all.
Damn it.
He wants to decline, to tell Shoot why he's not going to or march off into hiding in some other way, but guilt from just earlier eats at him. Here he was, ranting about feeling bad about leaving Shoot behind as a partner until that dangerous moment, and now he was doing it again?
This is what it was. He did this so often, did he even realize when he was doing it?]
Shoot... [A pause, and he straightens himself a little, looking him in the eye this time. He seems determined, if not a complete wreck otherwise.]
I'm sorry. I let my emotions get the best of me. [As per usual... But don't say that.] The truth is...
[The truth. What was the truth? He thinks about it for a long moment, mouth hanging open as he tries to find the right words. Eventually, something falls out.] ...How much I care about you, it was...-- That thing I did...
[And it's still nothing pieced together perfectly, but hey, progress.]
[Shoot really means this— not even Knuckle's 30 moods per minute can shake him now. That's the idea, anyway, and he does rather well at holding his ground and looking like he means it. He can wait.
Ah, but this is the usual... He thinks that much, keeping his mouth shut only because Knuckle will either cry or punch him and cry if he interrupts, he thinks.
Still, at the end of it, he's still waiting. There's another slightly too long pause while he waits to see if Knuckle is going to add anything else, before he says anything. Awkwardly, but:]
I didn't mind— don't mind. [does it... does it help if he clarifies this, out loud] I'm not- angry, it's...
[Just as bumbling as Knuckle's attempt. It seems his determination doesn't come with extra smooth lines. What he thinks of to say is basically something he said before in a different order, but it will have to do.
someone give him strength, shitty YA novels give him strength tbh]
You're... [Ah, no, he can't do it. He can only trail off and lamely look away, muttering something that surely contains the words 'more' and 'important' and 'to me.'
[Knuckle is frozen during all of that, watching Shoot as he speaks. Attempts to speak? The words set in, and he thinks he gets the implication, but it's hard to say with so much missing. His chest is so tight he thinks he might burst, his head is pounding, his hand is way too hot holding Shoot's like this...]
Damn it... [He mutters, first, looking down between them and shaking his head a little.] Look at us, we can't even talk! [There's a bit of humor behind his irritation this time, and that should be a clear sign that he's not yelling AT Shoot, or angry at the situation.]
Damn it, screw this! I'm not going to stand around like some kid! [He says that, but as he reaches forward with a free hand and grabs at Shoot's collar to drag him down, he pauses when he's at his level just to grumble.]
If you make fun of me for this, I'm gonna kick your ass!
[With only that as warning, he follows this strange instinct that he still doesn't understand and kisses him, clumsy and honest.]
[That's true, at least - that they're idiots who can't even speak. Saying that gets Shoot to grin, albeit weakly. They've been at this for way too long now. That much doesn't need to be explained more clearly, at least...
He's yanked down and his little grin is shocked off his face, replaced by a pointless 'um' of surprise and a wide-eyed look. Knuckle is still going on, getting more and more worked up, and then their lips meet and Shoot has no earthly idea what to do.
The obvious is there, of course, but he doesn't- he doesn't know how to kiss someone!! That Knuckle is clumsy and just as lost as he is sort of helps, but for a distinct moment he feels like his whole body has locked up and left him stuck there, stooped over and doing nothing for eternity.
In reality it's maybe three seconds, tops, but it feels longer before he presses back into the kiss with all the finesse of someone making it up as he goes along. Is he doing it right, he thinks he should be doing something else too but his hand is still squeezed in Knuckle's.
[To be honest, Knuckle wouldn't know if he was doing it right or wrong to begin with. He just knew it felt nice. That it made the last bit of tension fall away as he realized it wasn't just him, it was both of them. That three second pause was terrifying, but after that? He was sure!
He's so glad. Somehow, embarrassment falls mostly with that, as well, leaving such a small amount that he can shove it to the side for other, more positive feelings.
Like happiness. It's enough that after a strong minute or so of kissing, he pulls back and laughs. It's light, and he has to raise a free hand to wipe at the corner of his eyes and make sure no tears fall with it.]
Shit... [He needs to explain his laughter, or it'll be taken wrong. He knows that much.] We really are idiots.
[In the middle of a sidewalk, being awkward... His laughing finally slows to a stop, but he's practically beaming. What an embarrassment.]
[The worry about doing it wrong doesn't fade entirely the longer they're kissing like this, but it simmers down enough that Shoot can put it with the rest of his usual background radiation of worrying about things. It was sudden and clumsy, but it's softer than he expected, somehow (when did he stop to imagine it, even). Yet again it's just nice, and that's enough.
Shoot straightens up when they break apart and gives Knuckle and odd look - is he really, are there going to be tears, why is he laughing - but then his slight grin is back and less dreadfully nervous than before.
They are definitely idiots, and Knuckle is really embarrassing right now, so much that Shoot can barely look him in the face, and still - everything worked out just fine! He's happy, not not nervous but with a new and different set of nerves, and Knuckle...
He looks away slightly because he's actually crossed the event horizon of looking at Knuckle looking at him like that. There's a whole smile on his face and he doesn't have a hand free to cover it, call the presses.]
Well— we'll get better at that. [at not being idiots?? at kissing?? who knows.]
[He's honestly impressed that Shoot hasn't run away by now. This was a good sign!! Grinning down at their joined hands, he squeezes them one more time (gently) before moving to step backwards and tug him along. It's light, and not in a rush this time, and he'll slowly face forward over time.
At least then he'll be free from that look.]
Yeah, we will! [He sounds really confident in that, for whatever meaning he took it as.] I can't even remember why the hell I wanted this walk in the first place! But now, at least we can enjoy it.
[Without any more awkward fumbling, right? ...Right! He's pushed awkward feelings to the back of his mind and is focusing on the positive, after all.]
[Their hands are going to be stuck like this forever, it's the only fate left.
Shoot's less fretful when they finally make it to walking side by side and not staring at each other. He can look at other things that don't make his stomach turn over and just listen to Knuckle's continued enthusiasm, which is also nice in its own way.
Like, right now when no one is crying and they're both feeling agreeable. He'll think about that later, maybe—
But wow, if Morel wasn't the last thing he wanted to think about entirely!! Flip nothing, at that comment his stomach drops like a rock. Morel...]
He's going to know... [does he not know everything they do, sooner or later??]
You think he'll say something?
[Like make fun of them!! Or tell them his students can't kiss for some ancient stoner reason!!]
Edited (hang on i can't spell nOW GOES INTO THE NIGHT) 2015-02-19 06:12 (UTC)
[That stoned old man..... Knuckle looks seriously thrown off by this, though, because he can see that point. Damn... Maybe they'd just have to avoid him for a while!
Looking forward again, he brings a free hand to his chin.]
He wouldn't shut up about it! I just don't know if he'd tell us or Palm's damn teacher... [Frightening, really. Knuckle almost seems carefree, now, all of a sudden. He is, really. Shoot's hand is in his and it feels natural, somehow, just like saving him back there despite never giving a damn before had.
He's starting to think maybe he did give a damn. This was some heavy denial, but it wouldn't be the first time... Was it better that he didn't notice until now? Was Shoot in the same boat?
He'll probably think about this more later on his own, when he's not worried about the gossip of old men.]
[Shoot hums grimly; yes, he does believe Morel has arcane stoner powers of knowing... or at least knows them both far too well for any illusions of privacy to exist. He likes Morel, honestly, in his own unclear way (oh... is that bad habit why this took as long as it did? He won't think about it), but the man has no boundaries.
Both of these gossipy old men... He makes a face; they need more friends, all of them.] As long as they're not taking bets.
[god what if they already have, when will Shoot's tragic and imploring looks from across the room get through to Morel that he's totally tired of being involved in half their bets??? why these oldies]
... But while we're on the subject, don't tell Palm, either.
[He thinks on that, and then three more faces of people they shouldn't tell come to mind. Three more, and more, until practically everyone's faces are floating around, giving him taunting looks.
Tensing and shaking his head as he walks with too much energy, he sighs loudly.]
Aghhh, these bastards are going to make fun of us no matter what!! That's it! I'm not letting them hold me back!
[Though he thinks to himself, as an afterthought, that he doesn't even know what the hell he's doing anyway...]
[Shoot's mercifully not accosted by the same mental images. Just Palm and Morel are enough to give him pause, but maybe they really can... keep a secret.
—Or not, apparently, from Knuckle's exclamation. Shoot looks sideways at him, almost warily. If it's inevitable that Everyone is going to Know, he'd honestly rather they find out with as much subtlety as possible.]
In that case, let them figure it out themselves. [do not pick up a megaphone he will put you in his creepy cage he swears
... Hmm. Being made fun of isn't appealing, but for the record-?] I care more about what you think, anyway.
[Grumbling, Knuckle almost tries to cross his arms before he remembers he's holding a hand with one of them, and so it turns into an awkward sort of swing for a few steps. He looks up and away and all over as they walk, too, thinking like he's deeply focusing...
And he is, actually.]
Okay, well... [With a sideglance he likes to think is subtle, he watches Shoot as he mumbles out the next words as nonchalantly as he can. Which is to say it's not. He can't.] I'm thinking... What exactly are we gonna let 'em figure out, anyway?
[Is this a... Thing, or... ...What was this, now. Shoot's the logical one, so asking him is best!!]
[More waiting... Shoot doesn't feel as nervous this time; they're already walking around holding hands, so he sort of figured that question was already answered. He's holding Knuckle's hand and isn't possessed by a powerful urge to push him away with three more- that's clear to him...!
Having already made up his mind helps him respond to Knuckle's question with just an exasperated look, then, instead of bailing entirely. What would he have done if Shoot hadn't brought it up? Just gone on- doing what??
But, fine, he can articulate feelings better after someone else has already made the first move. Loopholes.]
Do you want to hold hands and kiss more often, or is this it?
[Granted, this is the least romantic way he could have phrased this.]
[Okay... He was expecting actual help, not this. Sputtering and half falling over himself, Knuckle whirls to face Shoot even as they keep walking, continuing his dramatic hand gestures even as they keep holding hands-- none of this should be surprising.]
What the hell kind of question is that?! [WHO... Okay, no, he won't ask that because he understands Shoot is a fucking weirdo. But. Ahhh... actually, the more he thinks on it, the more that's a good question. It's-- he wants more, right? Is he offering?
Squinting and acting like he's still completely offended and bothered by it all, he points with his free hand, looking skeptical.]
Don't mess with me, fool! You're trying to get me to admit it first, aren't you? Well, too bad! [Knuckle you just did, though.] You answer that question first!
[This is helping. Shoot's definitely not surprised by any of this reaction- he's weird, Knuckle is Loud, it's expected. It's just slightly unfortunate that his moods seem to vacillate between "panic" and "50/50 chance of being a jerk."
He could salvage this by not being a bit of a jackass, but... they'll be here all night if he does that. It's easier to be frank when Knuckle is wigging out, anyway.]
Don't yell. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to do it again. [duh!!]
[Damn it, it's pissing him off! Shoot's acting so composed. Why?! That wasn't fair at all! Weren't they both napping awkwardly in a bed and then reading books together, today?! Shoot was sweating nervously the whole time! Or close to it.
He didn't get to sound like the one in control of his emotions! Even if, realistically and in comparison, he was...]
How long have you known this, huh?! Don't tell me you were just waiting around while I had no idea! [He's avoiding admitting things here, but details.]
[Ah, well that gets his tenuous grasp on being in control to deflate. How long as he known? He doesn't know! Does Knuckle think he's been keeping count, or even noticed before it was suddenly too obvious to ignore-!
He can't even say when that was with certainty. Maybe in the hospital...? He doesn't have enough social reference points for this task.]
I wasn't! Don't make it sound so— [He frowns; so YA lit, wow.] Does it matter how long, as this point?
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what the fuck you come into my house you tell me kite is dead on this the day of my son's wedding
He waits then, for Knuckle to say something else, but seconds tick by and nothing is happening— Is something else wrong? Help him out, here! All he knows is that Knuckle was important before the way any comrade is important, but somehow lately that's changed and apparently it's going to be a thing now whether he wants it to or not.
He looks like he might bolt at any second, but he hasn't! Now if only Knuckle would say something.] —What?
yes
[Oh. Right, he said his name. It comes to him slowly, and maybe he isn't out of this daze after all. He blinks down to their hands, his grip loosening only to let his fingers twitch slightly in place. His thumb slides over Shoot's automatically, stopping there before any of the other fingers might follow. Instead, he pulls it up between them, the hands they're holding, standing here again in the middle of the sidewalk.
Man, his throat feels all dry, for some reason.]
Oh. [He's on a roll.] I was...
[Damn it, damn it!! What the hell's he doing, acting like a dope?! Swallowing hard and going with the sudden, fiery burst of energy that fills his chest like usual, he looks up to Shoot's face again.]
I won't... let anything like that happen to you again! [Hm. Well that's-- close enough. Despite the passion behind those words, too, he isn't yelling them, actually. But he does look down between them, focusing as he unthinkingly brings Shoot's hand to his lips and kisses the back of it.
He...
Wait. He...
He kissed Shoot's hand. And now he seems to be stuck.]
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Ah. Well.
His enthusiastic declaration gets Shoot to look up to his face again, and while that's- an odd thing to say, maybe, as if he gets into trouble like that often- the feeling behind it calms him down a little, somehow. It's nice, he thinks, comforting— and that moment would last longer if not for Knuckle kissing his hand.
It's a credit to how stunned he is that he doesn't yank his hand away, honestly. He's left staring at Knuckle with an expression that looks like it was hesitantly happy about his really dorky declaration and now is just as stuck as Knuckle is.
Ah. That's- that is. What is he supposed to do now??
His mind races, trips over itself, sticks on 'It's nice' and then Shoot finally unfreezes. He tugs his hand away only to rearrange them both, lace his fingers through Knuckle's and squeeze. And this- would probably be much more casual if his expression wasn't incredibly serious, but listen, he's not the one giving knight in shining armor hand kisses...
The right words to say still elude him. Work with him here.]
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And then, he grips that hand back and tugs it with him in a quick movement, storming forward once more. He's trying to hide the redness of his face, but it shows even more in his ears from behind, and the hunching of his posture doesn't help.
He's still holding his hand with their fingers laced like this as they walk along.]
S-shut up, don't say anything, idiot! You're giving me weird looks! You're over thinking it, I didn't mean anything by that at all!!
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When Knuckle yanks them back to walking, Shoot almost stumbles out of surprise. They're still holding hands, but he's saying-?
Oh, wait... this is Knuckle. So, then—] I- I wasn't going to say anything! [Honestly true.] Why don't you tell me what you meant, then?
[Take that ball aggressively volleyed back the hell out of his court, he can't handle it.]
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Shit. Shit shit shit, what did he mean? He doesn't know! Or does he know?! He doesn't want to know! What the hell's he supposed to do?!
There's a very long pause as he argues internally with himself, but eventually, there is something of an answer.]
S-shut up! [Well, no, that's not an answer at all, and yet, it should make things clearer, with how Knuckle is. He can't bring himself to even look back at Shoot, and the redness hasn't let up at all.
He can't believe... Is this really... How the hell could he have been so blind?! And what the hell is he supposed to do about this now, anyway...! If Morel saw this, he'd definitely laugh! Shit, no, he couldn't find out... And what was Shoot thinking? Was he--
Well... He had definitely moved to hold his hand, he realized. Now, his grip lets up a little, and he pays more attention to each finger between his own. This isn't a very bro thing to do...........
So Shoot must be fine with it?
By now, Knuckle's practically half hunched over himself as he walks, his free hand reflexively at his forehead. He wasn't trained for this...]
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But this is the part where he's supposed to take charge, isn't it, and snap Knuckle out of his mood. Knuckle overreacts and he provides the reason, that's how they've always done things. He doesn't feel at all calm enough, though...
Looking at Knuckle having a crisis makes up his mind for him, and not just about that— this whole thing... He's- well, if Knuckle kisses his hand and he thinks it's nice before he wants to put a few dozen yards between them, then it's pretty obvious. He doesn't have time to wonder about how or when (or why, honestly) with Knuckle looking like he's going to explode at any second, which might actually be fortunate.
So, tightening his grip just moments after Knuckle loosens his, so that he doesn't let go and stomp away, Shoot stops walking. Right there. Still in the middle of the sidewalk. He's made up his mind, damn it, and someone is going to use real words here or so help him-!!]
Knuckle! I won't go any further until you talk to me!
[he sat up in a tree for like 5 hours man he can stand here ALL NIGHT]
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Damn it.
He wants to decline, to tell Shoot why he's not going to or march off into hiding in some other way, but guilt from just earlier eats at him. Here he was, ranting about feeling bad about leaving Shoot behind as a partner until that dangerous moment, and now he was doing it again?
This is what it was. He did this so often, did he even realize when he was doing it?]
Shoot... [A pause, and he straightens himself a little, looking him in the eye this time. He seems determined, if not a complete wreck otherwise.]
I'm sorry. I let my emotions get the best of me. [As per usual... But don't say that.] The truth is...
[The truth. What was the truth? He thinks about it for a long moment, mouth hanging open as he tries to find the right words. Eventually, something falls out.] ...How much I care about you, it was...-- That thing I did...
[And it's still nothing pieced together perfectly, but hey, progress.]
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Ah, but this is the usual... He thinks that much, keeping his mouth shut only because Knuckle will either cry or punch him and cry if he interrupts, he thinks.
Still, at the end of it, he's still waiting. There's another slightly too long pause while he waits to see if Knuckle is going to add anything else, before he says anything. Awkwardly, but:]
I didn't mind— don't mind. [does it... does it help if he clarifies this, out loud] I'm not- angry, it's...
[Just as bumbling as Knuckle's attempt. It seems his determination doesn't come with extra smooth lines. What he thinks of to say is basically something he said before in a different order, but it will have to do.
someone give him strength, shitty YA novels give him strength tbh]
You're... [Ah, no, he can't do it. He can only trail off and lamely look away, muttering something that surely contains the words 'more' and 'important' and 'to me.'
YA lit sucks]
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Damn it... [He mutters, first, looking down between them and shaking his head a little.] Look at us, we can't even talk! [There's a bit of humor behind his irritation this time, and that should be a clear sign that he's not yelling AT Shoot, or angry at the situation.]
Damn it, screw this! I'm not going to stand around like some kid! [He says that, but as he reaches forward with a free hand and grabs at Shoot's collar to drag him down, he pauses when he's at his level just to grumble.]
If you make fun of me for this, I'm gonna kick your ass!
[With only that as warning, he follows this strange instinct that he still doesn't understand and kisses him, clumsy and honest.]
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He's yanked down and his little grin is shocked off his face, replaced by a pointless 'um' of surprise and a wide-eyed look. Knuckle is still going on, getting more and more worked up, and then their lips meet and Shoot has no earthly idea what to do.
The obvious is there, of course, but he doesn't- he doesn't know how to kiss someone!! That Knuckle is clumsy and just as lost as he is sort of helps, but for a distinct moment he feels like his whole body has locked up and left him stuck there, stooped over and doing nothing for eternity.
In reality it's maybe three seconds, tops, but it feels longer before he presses back into the kiss with all the finesse of someone making it up as he goes along. Is he doing it right, he thinks he should be doing something else too but his hand is still squeezed in Knuckle's.
Well, he hopes he's doing it right.]
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He's so glad. Somehow, embarrassment falls mostly with that, as well, leaving such a small amount that he can shove it to the side for other, more positive feelings.
Like happiness. It's enough that after a strong minute or so of kissing, he pulls back and laughs. It's light, and he has to raise a free hand to wipe at the corner of his eyes and make sure no tears fall with it.]
Shit... [He needs to explain his laughter, or it'll be taken wrong. He knows that much.] We really are idiots.
[In the middle of a sidewalk, being awkward... His laughing finally slows to a stop, but he's practically beaming. What an embarrassment.]
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Shoot straightens up when they break apart and gives Knuckle and odd look - is he really, are there going to be tears, why is he laughing - but then his slight grin is back and less dreadfully nervous than before.
They are definitely idiots, and Knuckle is really embarrassing right now, so much that Shoot can barely look him in the face, and still - everything worked out just fine! He's happy, not not nervous but with a new and different set of nerves, and Knuckle...
He looks away slightly because he's actually crossed the event horizon of looking at Knuckle looking at him like that. There's a whole smile on his face and he doesn't have a hand free to cover it, call the presses.]
Well— we'll get better at that. [at not being idiots?? at kissing?? who knows.]
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At least then he'll be free from that look.]
Yeah, we will! [He sounds really confident in that, for whatever meaning he took it as.] I can't even remember why the hell I wanted this walk in the first place! But now, at least we can enjoy it.
[Without any more awkward fumbling, right? ...Right! He's pushed awkward feelings to the back of his mind and is focusing on the positive, after all.]
...By the way, don't tell Morel.
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Shoot's less fretful when they finally make it to walking side by side and not staring at each other. He can look at other things that don't make his stomach turn over and just listen to Knuckle's continued enthusiasm, which is also nice in its own way.
Like, right now when no one is crying and they're both feeling agreeable. He'll think about that later, maybe—
But wow, if Morel wasn't the last thing he wanted to think about entirely!! Flip nothing, at that comment his stomach drops like a rock. Morel...]
He's going to know... [does he not know everything they do, sooner or later??]
You think he'll say something?
[Like make fun of them!! Or tell them his students can't kiss for some ancient stoner reason!!]
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[That stoned old man..... Knuckle looks seriously thrown off by this, though, because he can see that point. Damn... Maybe they'd just have to avoid him for a while!
Looking forward again, he brings a free hand to his chin.]
He wouldn't shut up about it! I just don't know if he'd tell us or Palm's damn teacher... [Frightening, really. Knuckle almost seems carefree, now, all of a sudden. He is, really. Shoot's hand is in his and it feels natural, somehow, just like saving him back there despite never giving a damn before had.
He's starting to think maybe he did give a damn. This was some heavy denial, but it wouldn't be the first time... Was it better that he didn't notice until now? Was Shoot in the same boat?
He'll probably think about this more later on his own, when he's not worried about the gossip of old men.]
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Both of these gossipy old men... He makes a face; they need more friends, all of them.] As long as they're not taking bets.
[god what if they already have, when will Shoot's tragic and imploring looks from across the room get through to Morel that he's totally tired of being involved in half their bets??? why these oldies]
... But while we're on the subject, don't tell Palm, either.
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Tensing and shaking his head as he walks with too much energy, he sighs loudly.]
Aghhh, these bastards are going to make fun of us no matter what!! That's it! I'm not letting them hold me back!
[Though he thinks to himself, as an afterthought, that he doesn't even know what the hell he's doing anyway...]
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—Or not, apparently, from Knuckle's exclamation. Shoot looks sideways at him, almost warily. If it's inevitable that Everyone is going to Know, he'd honestly rather they find out with as much subtlety as possible.]
In that case, let them figure it out themselves. [do not pick up a megaphone he will put you in his creepy cage he swears
... Hmm. Being made fun of isn't appealing, but for the record-?] I care more about what you think, anyway.
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[Grumbling, Knuckle almost tries to cross his arms before he remembers he's holding a hand with one of them, and so it turns into an awkward sort of swing for a few steps. He looks up and away and all over as they walk, too, thinking like he's deeply focusing...
And he is, actually.]
Okay, well... [With a sideglance he likes to think is subtle, he watches Shoot as he mumbles out the next words as nonchalantly as he can. Which is to say it's not. He can't.] I'm thinking... What exactly are we gonna let 'em figure out, anyway?
[Is this a... Thing, or... ...What was this, now. Shoot's the logical one, so asking him is best!!]
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Having already made up his mind helps him respond to Knuckle's question with just an exasperated look, then, instead of bailing entirely. What would he have done if Shoot hadn't brought it up? Just gone on- doing what??
But, fine, he can articulate feelings better after someone else has already made the first move. Loopholes.]
Do you want to hold hands and kiss more often, or is this it?
[Granted, this is the least romantic way he could have phrased this.]
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What the hell kind of question is that?! [WHO... Okay, no, he won't ask that because he understands Shoot is a fucking weirdo. But. Ahhh... actually, the more he thinks on it, the more that's a good question. It's-- he wants more, right? Is he offering?
Squinting and acting like he's still completely offended and bothered by it all, he points with his free hand, looking skeptical.]
Don't mess with me, fool! You're trying to get me to admit it first, aren't you? Well, too bad! [Knuckle you just did, though.] You answer that question first!
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He could salvage this by not being a bit of a jackass, but... they'll be here all night if he does that. It's easier to be frank when Knuckle is wigging out, anyway.]
Don't yell. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to do it again. [duh!!]
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[Damn it, it's pissing him off! Shoot's acting so composed. Why?! That wasn't fair at all! Weren't they both napping awkwardly in a bed and then reading books together, today?! Shoot was sweating nervously the whole time! Or close to it.
He didn't get to sound like the one in control of his emotions! Even if, realistically and in comparison, he was...]
How long have you known this, huh?! Don't tell me you were just waiting around while I had no idea! [He's avoiding admitting things here, but details.]
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He can't even say when that was with certainty. Maybe in the hospital...? He doesn't have enough social reference points for this task.]
I wasn't! Don't make it sound so— [He frowns; so YA lit, wow.] Does it matter how long, as this point?
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crawls out from my inbox jesus christ
old man knuckle......
he sure is... by uploading more icons I may have ruined all the old ones, ignore that
for the sake of small dorito, i will
thank
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am i real i whisper as i slam these all down
you are the realest and shoot is precious
for ironic purposes i'm not going to announce my return