once more with shitposting

[allweather]

[Reim is loath to think it's convenient that the city needs to be put back together after everything. There's been so much loss, they've all felt it—but having something to do after Pandora is dissolved keeps everyone's minds off those things, more or less, so. It's a little convenient. It keeps people busy, himself included.

Most people, anyway... Reim has more than enough to do, from ironing out the details of the relief efforts (it's-not-Pandora-but-it's-mostly-the-same-people is not a viable organization name, the struggle) to dealing with people on a much more individual level, including trying to integrate the remaining Baskervilles— he's never been more stressed in his life!!

Unlike some people apparently on a quest to ruin the only peace and quiet he has in his schedule - locking himself in his office to eat meals - in between everything else. It's just after he's been to check up on Duke Barma, who is surprisingly... robust, if bedridden, and he's escaped that harrowing exchange only to find his office invaded and some kind of food out. It smells like food. That's not the lunch he ordered??

He sighs. It must be every day of his life at once. He will address... the office:]

Xerxes, come out of there.

[he doesn't even know where, but he Knows it's somewhere.]

Comments

[allweather]

[They should stay inside for that where there's comfy furniture then. Ultra ideal.]

Somehow, he'll find out... [but also: fuck it] We won't spend an entire day doing nothing but drink, besides. Even you'd have trouble with that.

[holloweyed]

You underestimate me. I already have all the qualities of someone who would drink all day. Old, mad, on the verge of diabetes...

[Truly, he has done everything else to put him on death's door, so why not?]

But I would probably say things I shouldn't, so maybe you're right.

[allweather]

[Oh, it sounds like... Break is banned from drinking...?? What the hell happened to that bottle of wine, it's banned now. Wherever it is, on the ground somewhere.]

Hmm. [Is he curious? Hell fucking yes he is, but he won't let Break win!! So he won't ask. The logic is sound.]

Well, it will only be enough to relax, anyway. There's no point in getting out of control.

[holloweyed]

[His great set up, lost to the fact Reim has to win... Awful. He can't just give up and say things, so he'll stubbornly stand off on this.]

I don't think you've ever gotten out of control in your life... It must be so boring.

[allweather]

[What a baby? Just say words like an adult.

Here, a brief cinematic flashback of all the doors Reim has broken at Pandora in his lifetime. It's several. He kicked doors off their hinges, Break.]

Maybe to you. Most people are kind enough to say I'm reliable, not boring.

[holloweyed]

[Hey, don't break his vision of Reim being real soft.]

Oh, I can always rely on you to be as boring as possible. That's for sure!

[allweather]

[He was there!!! For the doors!!]

Xerxes! [Did he want to get his ear flicked again? Great because Reim's pulling on it, this time. Be nice to him.]

It seems like it's actually you who only complains and hurls insults...!

[holloweyed]

[He paid more attention to Reim being a sappy moron back then!!]

Reim! [He has to break this great hand hold to swat at him, which is a crime? Reim is bad.] I was complimenting you minutes ago, I can't help your personality! You're boring but I don't know what I would do without you, so let go!

[allweather]

[HMM... He supposes he'll accept this and let go. And of course he can't just let that go, that would be silly.]

Oh, really? How hopeless. You're lucky I'm here for you.

[holloweyed]

[No, let that go... ugh. Break leans away from him to rub his ear, which is fine. He's just grumpy.]

You're lucky I'm here for you... you would lead a very sad life without me.

[allweather]

[He's a grumpy child. Reim is still winning, as a result.]

I might. [so,] Thankfully, I won't have to find out.

[Because SOMEBODY... is not going to try to die all the time anymore!!]

[holloweyed]

[There's something to be said about Break's life expectancy still being pretty low, but even he doesn't want to think about that. Instead he huffs, refusing to turn his head Reim's way because he is a child.]

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, you jerk. So respect your elders.

[allweather]

[Hey shut up, nobody ever dies and everyone is happy forever.]

See? Now you're calling me names. [How dare he? Reim lifts his hand like he might yank on Break's ear again, but no, he's just going to touch his hair a little instead.] I already knew that.

[holloweyed]

[He could have kept this up if it weren't for this hair touching. Thanks for ruining his image. Break lasts maybe a few more seconds before he's leaning back against him.]

You don't know everything. You don't know half of what you mean to me, because words can't describe it... [Yeah... he sure did get him good by saying he means so much more than he can say?] So, there. Shut up.

[allweather]

[Reim hums, before he says something truly mean about how words can't describe it because Break is too dumb to think of any. He's being nice, and that's... well, that's something that easily tugs at his heartstrings. Damn!!]

Sensitive. [Sooo sensitive... Nobody's stopping him from fussing with Break's hair, so he'll keep doing that, idly.] It's just me, you know. It's not as if I'm going to tell everyone all the things said out here...

[That would embarrass both of them, see.]

[holloweyed]

[Hey, don't even think like that, asshole!! Reim doesn't deserve Break's real feelings, which is too hard to say since he has trouble saying he cares at all.]

Really? I'm going to tell the Duke everything. [He says, but shudders the more he thinks of actually doing that. Barma would end his life.] No, I... [wait for it] ... I like you. More than I should.

[stunning performance by Xerxes Break]

[allweather]

[It takes literally all of Reim's self control not to ugly laugh at the thought of Break tattling on him to Barma. That's the last possible thing on the list of things that might one day happen. Jesus. He contains himself to a brief chuckle, like a grownup.

But how shall he respond to this... this. Xerxes Break, middle-aged man, has the emotional eloquence of a twelve-year-old, still. Sigh.]

"More than you should"? Should I be insulted? [He gets it, trust him, but god you're 12.]

[holloweyed]

No, I mean- [He was so wrapped up in saying this that he almost kept thinking Reim didn't get it? Stop making fun of him! He has half a mind to just get up, but he'll sit here and sigh with frustration instead.]

More than I should, because I think you're too good for someone like me... now I know you aren't!

[allweather]

[Ah, no, no one is escaping this. Even though Break doesn't actually move to get up, Reim quits playing with his hair to wrap his arm more snugly around him. Hello, stuck with him, as usual.]

Oh, alright. Then you'll be all out of counterattacks when I tell you I have feelings for you, too.

[counterattacks]

[holloweyed]

[No, Reim is too large and this is not fair. He squirms up until he hears that, because that's just so ridiculous that he can't not stop and question it.]

Counterattacks? [He tries to make fun, but he's already laughing despite himself. There's no conviction in his protests.] I don't need one, when you say things like that. I can't feel anything for someone who thinks of things like this as some kind of strategy. I take it all back.

[allweather]

[COUNTERATTACKS.... Reim is unfazed by this obvious judgment because he is completely serious.]

I suppose that's your choice... [but. BUUUT.] Although I've thought of that possibility, as well.

[It's a solid Maybe, actually, but he's mostly being a brat.]

[holloweyed]

[Stop! Being! Like! This! Break leans to actually pull on his cheek this time.]

You're insufferable. I don't like you. You're not allowed to feel for me, because then I'll have to date someone so annoying out of pity, and it'll be a dreadful experience.

[this is how you admit things, right]

[allweather]

[He nearly says he's planned for this, too, but finally he resists. Actually he can't help but laugh again, although it's not a laugh for making fun. He's... tentatively happy? With this bullshit?

Truly, his plan all along was low standards.]

I could say the same about you. [Yes, this is PEAK romance.] But... well.

[Should he be serious? Or at least stop saying things like counterattack. Ehh.]

I'd like to give it a try. [despite his incredibly good better judgment, date him.]

[holloweyed]

[Ah, well, the deflecting could only go on for so long. Break has to actually deal with the fact Reim likes him, and this is actually a conversation that's happening. It changes things- or well, he thinks it will, somehow. Really, the only thing that might happen is that they're this close more. Give him a minute.]

You'll regret it, you know. [He says this, but he has no real facts to back this up... Hmmm. He rests his hand at his shoulder.] You should kiss me, then.

[allweather]

[Alright, well. Congratulations, because Break just up and telling Reim to kiss him was not actually on his list of possible scenarios. Which is real, but he had the good sense not to write it down. He blinks, he makes a sound like maybe he had another sassy comment to make there and then just gave up, and... huh. Well, good job! Micromanaging defeated.

Still, it's convenient that he basically cleared out the whole mansion and its grounds today, or he'd have a Victorian Sensibilities aneurysm about kissing in the garden. Nope, not today. With his other hand he touches Break's face, lightly, running his fingers along his jaw to angle his face for the Perfectly Calculated Kiss. Which he is not very gifted in, but he's thought about it enough, which counts.]

I haven't regretted anything about you yet, besides helping yourself to all my things. Don't tell me what to do. [He closes the last bit of distance between them to kiss him, anyway. Don't boss him around.]