dumbshow | highly new, slightly improved open post

highly new, slightly improved open post

assorted morons

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU
☆ melodrama is ultimate tier
★ SHIPPING AND FUCC:
☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ things I am not into: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I won't let you down!

[It's loud and boisterous, almost overwhelming in its enthusiasm. But he very much means it, evident in the way he smiles over at Kakyoin.

He leaves, and it's bittersweet. He worries Kakyoin won't remember, that Polnareff will come back and he'll stare blankly at him, but if that's so, there's nothing he can do about it. So why worry? Better to just focus on the present.

Jotaro is on board, of course, just as Polnareff knew he'd be. He doesn't yell, doesn't look outraged, that isn't his way, but the swiftness with which he agrees is telling. Within an hour he's ready to go, but they wait until two days, arriving late in the afternoon, just to avoid any suspicions.

Jotaro in a yukata looks very different from Kakyoin, both in bulk and height, but, Polnareff considers as they three head into a back room, it's better than nothing. It's the best plan they've got, so no more doubting thoughts.]

Ready to dye your hair? Oh-- yeah, this is Jotaro--

[Priorities, because it's hard not to just focus his attention on Kakyoin.]

[Kakyoin knows it's not going to be much of a long wait - Polnareff genuinely cannot resist this already, to say nothing of his apparently very justice-prone friend - but it's still torturous. He slips easily enough back into his role, and if any of the other hosts even notice that he's more aggressive and standoffish than usual, they don't say anything. The first night he has to dodge a drunk guest with a mind to shut him up one way or another, but!

It's fine! It's done another day later, when Polnareff comes back to the Lotus Petal with, jesus, a small mountain? Where do these giant men find each other?]

I'd rather die, [ha] but let's get this over with.

[His poor, beautiful hair... He manages to spare Jotaro a glance and a nod, unsure of him even with Polnareff's glowing recommendation. To be fair - that's probably how Jotaro feels about him at this precise moment, morals and ethics and whatever else aside.

But back to his more pressing personal tragedy:] Do you know how to do this?

Yeah.

[What a smooth, easy lie. He busies himself with pouring varying liquids into a bowl, wrinkling his nose very lightly at the smell.]

We won't even need to bleach it. Lucky you, huh?

[How did he get in here with all of that? The mysterious continue to build. Kakyoin takes a seat and resigns himself to fate.]

Hardly. What is that? Am I going to smell like that?

[It's not the only thing he's got. They'd had to smuggle in some modern clothes, all the better to disguise him with. But oh, right, he's still got that 1500's mindset--]

It's just dye. Uh. I don't know what chemicals they use . . .

[He glances up at Jotaro, who shrugs.]

But it's safe! And yeah, a little, but you can take a bath before we leave.

[They are trying to poison him, or at least his dignity. He knew it...]

Won't it come out, then...?

[Help, he's out of his depth. He will never survive in a place where that smell is a normal thing to slop on your own head.]

Nah. It's permanent-- it'll take a while to fade out. Like. Weeks, that kinda thing.

[Dye successfully mixed, he glances behind him, then nods towards his backpack.]

You oughta take a look at the clothes.

[Because if the dye is baffling, jeans are going to be fun.]

[Weeks........ Alright, fine. He sighs and moves to look through the backpack. His expectations are in the ground, so this might just go fairly well, relatively.]

How do you know this is going to fit me?

I guessed.

[Now the cracks in the foundation begin to show . . . but at least he brought him relatively simple clothes. Jeans and socks and sneakers, alongside a long-sleeved black shirt. Nice clothes, and coincidentally the very same Jotaro had come in wearing, albeit in a smaller size.]

So long as they won't fall off, it doesn't matter if they fit perfectly.

It matters to me, the person who has to wear these...

[He's holding up the jeans now, and real confession: he's not even sure which side is the front. It's going to be a long and arduous escape, huh.]

Well, let's not ruin these with whatever you're going to dump on my head. Is it ready yet?

Yeah. Yeah, just--

[The good news: the kit came with a bottle, and sealing the dye in there cuts down on the smell. The bad news: this is going to involve a lot more touching than they're used to. He stands, comes over so he can sit right behind the other man.]

Close your eyes and keep still, okay? It's gonna be a little chilly.

[It's still going to smell on his hair, but he'll endure it. He sits still not for any particular concern for the precision of Polnareff's dyeing skills but because he's a host, and remaining perfectly still is something he can actually do.

So after a moment, just so that's slightly less bizarre:] Try not to spill any.

I-- yeah.

[That was eerie. Unnerving, in a way that leaves his stomach swooping. It's easy to forget Kakyoin's made of wires and gears, not blood and muscle. But that stillness is a sharp reminder, and so it's with a slightly more cautious manner that he squirts a healthy amount of black dye on the top of his head.

His fingers flex, and then he pushes them in, spreading out the gel, working his way through Kakyoin's hair as gently as he can manage. It involves a lot of doubling back, working through spots already covered just to be sure he got all of it. It's pleasant, he has to admit. Soothing in the same way braiding Sherry's hair had been, once upon a time.]

[Kakyoin has a memory, whether it really did happen once or it was only written that way, he has it— of someone cutting his hair in a moment like this one. A mother he walked out on, maybe, whether or not that really happened either; regardless, it's the same feeling, quiet and intimate in a way he isn't used to.

And like, that Jotaro guy is still here, but Kakyoin isn't paying him any mind. His eyes are closed, and he's still save for the moments Polnareff needs him to tilt his head this way and that. If only the dye smelled less foul, this would be nicer. Naturally, he can't just let that go.]

It really does smell like the worst possible thing to put in my hair.

Psh, what kind of imagination is that? I bet I can come up with fifty things that would be worse.

[His words are scoffed, but his fingers stay gentle as he keeps working.]

What about a skunk, huh? You'd rather that in your hair?

I don't know what a skunk is.

[Is it American? Regardless! His point stands!]

This is just awful. Your fifty other things aren't here.

Horse shit.

[An immediate retort, even as he tugs lightly at Kakyoin's hair, tipping his head to the left, getting at the underside.]

Burnt onions. Burnt rubber. Burnt . . . anything, we can just say anything, honestly, you can't tell me this smells worse than that.

[Will he die on this hill? Yes.]

[Don't make a list! God! He scoffs, because he's definitely right and Polnareff is making stupid lists for no reason.]

Just hurry up so I can wash it out. You can tell me all your favorite terrible smells some other time.

So I won, is what you're saying. I won and I'm right, ha ha.

[But all right, all right . . . he's nearly done anyway. Just one last comb of his fingers tugging back through his hair, and then he pulls away, peeling off the gloves. He tries to do it without getting anything on his skin, fails, and scowls as he wipes it on his trousers.]

All right, go wash that off as much as you can. Really scrub, get in there. Then I guess we'll just wait for it to dry and then go . . .?

[It lacks a bit of punch, but it's still the best thing they have, so.]

I didn't say anything like that.

[Please, attitude. He both very much wants to know how his hair looks and doesn't want to know at all, so... this is the impasse he's reached. He looks like he might touch it gingerly for a moment, but reconsiders sticking his hand into wet dye and just- gives both of them a nod, before he ducks into an adjacent back room that has a bathtub of tepid water waiting for some reason, who knows.

Give him fifteen minutes before he's satisfied that when he wets his hair, it doesn't drip dye everywhere, then he comes back. It's still wet, but it's not red anymore, so great job.]

...Well, how did you do?

[It covers everything, Jotaro answers, which is both blunt and honest. It's not a great dye-job, in that he'd bought drugstore shit and it shows, but at least there's no red strands peeking out.

He isn't certain how he feels about it. He sort of misses that cherry red explosion, truthfully. Kakyoin looks more ordinary with dyed hair, and it doesn't suit him-- he's anything but ordinary. But it's not bad, and certainly good enough to fool some guards. And it's about that time he realizes he's been staring a few too seconds long, eyes widening fractionally.]

You l-- it looks good.

[He ignores the little glance Jotaro gives him. There's an awkward pause, and then, too brightly:]

I told you not to doubt me.

[No he hadn't, but he hadn't said that in any attempt to be superior. Just an excuse for bullshitting, because that'd been weird.]

[Kakyoin is, admittedly, completely asking Polnareff when he comes back with his new look, so Jotaro actually manages to distract him from all the staring by answering first. Thank you, Giant Man. Giant Accomplice. Kakyoin blinks at him, then nods.

And back to Polnareff, who is being, hmm - odd. They're about to commit a few felonies here, so Kakyoin will delve into that more deeply later.]

Right. I haven't seen it, but it's going to be a long couple weeks.

[With this terrible hair color... no offense, Jotaro.

He glances at the backpack full of mystery clothes.]

I can't exactly walk out of here in those.

You're gonna put em on and then put the robe on top.

[Yukata, Polnareff, come on. Whatever. Leaning forward, he empties it out: jeans first, then a shirt, socks, sneakers . . . he offers the first two to Kakyoin.]

Try em on. It's, uh--

[He thumbs the waistband of the jeans.]

This goes around your hips. It's gonna be kinda tight, but that's what it's meant to be.

[Two piece?? Clothing?? Kakyoin looks at the jeans and then the shirt as he's handed them, mostly blankly. This doesn't seem comfortable at all.]

This material is awful. Here- [Denim sucks, but more importantly, if he has to put other things under his yukata then Polnareff has to hold his knife for a minute. It's sheathed, hold this while he just... tries to get into these jeans without actually taking the yukata off first.

Ah, he should have kept the knife in case he's laughed at... The regrets just keep coming.]

[He holds a knife he's fairly certain Kakyoin has considered stabbing him with and tries not to stare too much. He does stare, little stolen glances as Kakyoin wobbles around on one foot and yanks on the jeans, but at least he doesn't do it excessively.]

It'd be easier if you, you know, changed like a normal person.

[He says it to the wall, idly playing with the knife. It's a real knife, he notes as he pricks his finger, hissing softly, and that makes him glad. Hosts can't hurt guests, but at least Kakyoin's got something to defend himself. Licking his finger, he glances back, trying to check on him without actually gawking.]

You got it or you need me to dress you like a five year old?

[Didn't you rip your first yukata? Jotaro comments, less question and more pointed statement, and he pulls a face at him. Shut up?]

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can't believe i had to google this dumb thing

now you've learned more about skunks

i sure have

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