dumbshow | highly new, slightly improved open post

highly new, slightly improved open post

assorted morons

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU
☆ melodrama is ultimate tier
★ SHIPPING AND FUCC:
☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ things I am not into: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I guessed.

[Now the cracks in the foundation begin to show . . . but at least he brought him relatively simple clothes. Jeans and socks and sneakers, alongside a long-sleeved black shirt. Nice clothes, and coincidentally the very same Jotaro had come in wearing, albeit in a smaller size.]

So long as they won't fall off, it doesn't matter if they fit perfectly.

It matters to me, the person who has to wear these...

[He's holding up the jeans now, and real confession: he's not even sure which side is the front. It's going to be a long and arduous escape, huh.]

Well, let's not ruin these with whatever you're going to dump on my head. Is it ready yet?

Yeah. Yeah, just--

[The good news: the kit came with a bottle, and sealing the dye in there cuts down on the smell. The bad news: this is going to involve a lot more touching than they're used to. He stands, comes over so he can sit right behind the other man.]

Close your eyes and keep still, okay? It's gonna be a little chilly.

[It's still going to smell on his hair, but he'll endure it. He sits still not for any particular concern for the precision of Polnareff's dyeing skills but because he's a host, and remaining perfectly still is something he can actually do.

So after a moment, just so that's slightly less bizarre:] Try not to spill any.

I-- yeah.

[That was eerie. Unnerving, in a way that leaves his stomach swooping. It's easy to forget Kakyoin's made of wires and gears, not blood and muscle. But that stillness is a sharp reminder, and so it's with a slightly more cautious manner that he squirts a healthy amount of black dye on the top of his head.

His fingers flex, and then he pushes them in, spreading out the gel, working his way through Kakyoin's hair as gently as he can manage. It involves a lot of doubling back, working through spots already covered just to be sure he got all of it. It's pleasant, he has to admit. Soothing in the same way braiding Sherry's hair had been, once upon a time.]

[Kakyoin has a memory, whether it really did happen once or it was only written that way, he has it— of someone cutting his hair in a moment like this one. A mother he walked out on, maybe, whether or not that really happened either; regardless, it's the same feeling, quiet and intimate in a way he isn't used to.

And like, that Jotaro guy is still here, but Kakyoin isn't paying him any mind. His eyes are closed, and he's still save for the moments Polnareff needs him to tilt his head this way and that. If only the dye smelled less foul, this would be nicer. Naturally, he can't just let that go.]

It really does smell like the worst possible thing to put in my hair.

Psh, what kind of imagination is that? I bet I can come up with fifty things that would be worse.

[His words are scoffed, but his fingers stay gentle as he keeps working.]

What about a skunk, huh? You'd rather that in your hair?

I don't know what a skunk is.

[Is it American? Regardless! His point stands!]

This is just awful. Your fifty other things aren't here.

Horse shit.

[An immediate retort, even as he tugs lightly at Kakyoin's hair, tipping his head to the left, getting at the underside.]

Burnt onions. Burnt rubber. Burnt . . . anything, we can just say anything, honestly, you can't tell me this smells worse than that.

[Will he die on this hill? Yes.]

[Don't make a list! God! He scoffs, because he's definitely right and Polnareff is making stupid lists for no reason.]

Just hurry up so I can wash it out. You can tell me all your favorite terrible smells some other time.

So I won, is what you're saying. I won and I'm right, ha ha.

[But all right, all right . . . he's nearly done anyway. Just one last comb of his fingers tugging back through his hair, and then he pulls away, peeling off the gloves. He tries to do it without getting anything on his skin, fails, and scowls as he wipes it on his trousers.]

All right, go wash that off as much as you can. Really scrub, get in there. Then I guess we'll just wait for it to dry and then go . . .?

[It lacks a bit of punch, but it's still the best thing they have, so.]

I didn't say anything like that.

[Please, attitude. He both very much wants to know how his hair looks and doesn't want to know at all, so... this is the impasse he's reached. He looks like he might touch it gingerly for a moment, but reconsiders sticking his hand into wet dye and just- gives both of them a nod, before he ducks into an adjacent back room that has a bathtub of tepid water waiting for some reason, who knows.

Give him fifteen minutes before he's satisfied that when he wets his hair, it doesn't drip dye everywhere, then he comes back. It's still wet, but it's not red anymore, so great job.]

...Well, how did you do?

[It covers everything, Jotaro answers, which is both blunt and honest. It's not a great dye-job, in that he'd bought drugstore shit and it shows, but at least there's no red strands peeking out.

He isn't certain how he feels about it. He sort of misses that cherry red explosion, truthfully. Kakyoin looks more ordinary with dyed hair, and it doesn't suit him-- he's anything but ordinary. But it's not bad, and certainly good enough to fool some guards. And it's about that time he realizes he's been staring a few too seconds long, eyes widening fractionally.]

You l-- it looks good.

[He ignores the little glance Jotaro gives him. There's an awkward pause, and then, too brightly:]

I told you not to doubt me.

[No he hadn't, but he hadn't said that in any attempt to be superior. Just an excuse for bullshitting, because that'd been weird.]

[Kakyoin is, admittedly, completely asking Polnareff when he comes back with his new look, so Jotaro actually manages to distract him from all the staring by answering first. Thank you, Giant Man. Giant Accomplice. Kakyoin blinks at him, then nods.

And back to Polnareff, who is being, hmm - odd. They're about to commit a few felonies here, so Kakyoin will delve into that more deeply later.]

Right. I haven't seen it, but it's going to be a long couple weeks.

[With this terrible hair color... no offense, Jotaro.

He glances at the backpack full of mystery clothes.]

I can't exactly walk out of here in those.

You're gonna put em on and then put the robe on top.

[Yukata, Polnareff, come on. Whatever. Leaning forward, he empties it out: jeans first, then a shirt, socks, sneakers . . . he offers the first two to Kakyoin.]

Try em on. It's, uh--

[He thumbs the waistband of the jeans.]

This goes around your hips. It's gonna be kinda tight, but that's what it's meant to be.

[Two piece?? Clothing?? Kakyoin looks at the jeans and then the shirt as he's handed them, mostly blankly. This doesn't seem comfortable at all.]

This material is awful. Here- [Denim sucks, but more importantly, if he has to put other things under his yukata then Polnareff has to hold his knife for a minute. It's sheathed, hold this while he just... tries to get into these jeans without actually taking the yukata off first.

Ah, he should have kept the knife in case he's laughed at... The regrets just keep coming.]

[He holds a knife he's fairly certain Kakyoin has considered stabbing him with and tries not to stare too much. He does stare, little stolen glances as Kakyoin wobbles around on one foot and yanks on the jeans, but at least he doesn't do it excessively.]

It'd be easier if you, you know, changed like a normal person.

[He says it to the wall, idly playing with the knife. It's a real knife, he notes as he pricks his finger, hissing softly, and that makes him glad. Hosts can't hurt guests, but at least Kakyoin's got something to defend himself. Licking his finger, he glances back, trying to check on him without actually gawking.]

You got it or you need me to dress you like a five year old?

[Didn't you rip your first yukata? Jotaro comments, less question and more pointed statement, and he pulls a face at him. Shut up?]

I'm-- [staggering--] I'm handling this.

[Polnareff talking to the wall and doing dumb things with his knife would be funny if he weren't being eaten alive by these pants, but give it time. He's still paying enough attention to laugh at Jotaro's casual roast. He's got this... The pants are on.

As an afterthought he even does up the button and, warily, the zipper. This clothing is harrowing. As a bonus to probably just Polnareff, all things considered: they fit, and not that poorly. Not perfectly, but he looks like a person who knows how to size his own jeans, besides the yukata.

And alright, he'll finally take that off and set it aside while he picks up the shirt again. Hmm. Okay...]

I'm starting to understand why some of you spend nearly all of your time here.

Please. Jeans are better. No sweaty thighs, for starter.

[So honestly, what other argument can Kakyoin give? Nothing, that's what, and Polnareff finally turns, spinning on his heel. And it's--

Ah.

Look. It's not that he doesn't know Kakyoin is strong. The guy's a two-bit gangster, a thug who can hold his own in a scrap. Naturally he's got muscles, that's just logical. But he'd never really thought about them, not under that loose yukata, he'd always imagined him slender, and now he's clad in jeans and nothing else, all sharp angles and lean muscle, and--]

[Fuck.]

[Oh, god, he's so hot.]

Uhhh--

[Sorry, give him a minute.]

[Kakyoin, meanwhile, is turning this shirt back to front and front to back over and over, trying to spot the clue of which side is actually the front. It's going to take him a minute to do that, and he spares a glance at Polnareff in the meantime, eyebrow raised.]

What? Am I holding it upside down?

[He's not, he knows that much, the neck end is obviously the little one, but please. It also doesn't take a genius - or, say, a host programmed to read guest responses as accurately as possible - to catch that standing here bare from the waist up is very interesting to Polnareff. Aw.

Well, we must all make sacrifices, and Kakyoin's will be putting on the shirt to spare Polnareff this brief cardiac arrest. He's got the tail end of a smirk on his face when he gets the shirt over his head at last, but he'll delve more deeply into that later, too. Please continue to check him out as he runs his fingers through his hair to put it in some kind of order, still damp, leaning his hips just so--]

Not the shoes. People can see those.

[What a fucking asshole. He's posing, what an asshole, but at least it erases some of the embarrassment and panic from his thoughts. With a scowl he offers the knife back to him.]

Yeah, yeah-- we'll do that when we give the costume back. That you're gonna switch with Jotaro, too, just in case. Stop--

[Waspishly added to Jotaro. He hasn't said a damn thing, but he knows him well enough to know what kind of expression he's probably got on.]

Let's just get this over with, all right?

[Ah, and like that, Kakyoin and Jotaro have found something to bond about without even speaking. Amazing. He chuckles as he takes the knife in one hand and gathers up his yukata over his other arm; it's definitely isn't going to fit Jotaro, but alright...]

Don't worry, if any of us wants to be out of here already, it's me.

[One trade later and they both look, frankly, stupid, but hopefully not stupid enough to be stopped by anyone.]

[He looks . . . uncomfortable, yeah, but more importantly: like he doesn't really belong here. With a pinched expression and tight jeans, he looks like a typical Japanese teenager.

They three of them exit the Lotus Petal quickly. Humans might be easily fooled, but he's pretty sure hosts won't be. Jotaro moves with his head tipped down low, his expression dark, as Polnareff throws a deliberate arm around Kakyoin and yanks him in close. Friendly-like, see? (If he makes note of the slender body beneath his, well, of course he does). And when they approach the exit, Jotaro peels off, turning on his heel to head back to the bar, as Polnareff steers them forward.

One Japanese man enters and one leaves. It'll work. It's gotta work, he thinks, even as he strips off his costume and pulls on his usual clothes. He looks good, he looks normal, just like a student, it's fine, this is fine-- his stomach twists, his nerves singing, but there's nothing but a grin on his face as he comes back towards Kakyoin.]

Bet you anything we can still make it for happy hour, yeah?

[He's painfully aware they're being watched, but there's nothing for it. Either they'll be caught or they won't. Step by step, one foot in front of the other, and then there's the door, and--

And then they're outside, the sun shining brightly, the temperature far too hot. His motorcycle isn't so far from here, and he blinks, stares, and then pulls Kakyoin forward.]

C'mon.

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can't believe i had to google this dumb thing

now you've learned more about skunks

i sure have

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1/2

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