dumbshow | was i ever truly off my bullshit

was i ever truly off my bullshit

[When Kirin Jindosh's house falls into the sea, he almost doesn't realize it's happening. No alarms have been activated, no sensors in his floors alert him to the presence of an intruder; even the mechanisms of his house are silent as the grave, on this completely ordinary day. Were there anything amiss in his house, he would know... and nothing appears to be wrong.

He hasn't eaten in two days. It's unimportant, but he's pushed his hunger to the point of distraction and now needs to put something in his body before he starts to slip in his work. It's this that gets him out of his lab and skulking directly down to the kitchens instead of waiting around for someone to bring him food in the dining area; the cooks aren't pleased to see him in their space (it isn't theirs), but they never are, and Jindosh can eat a pear in peace for five minutes thanks to their studiously avoiding his gaze.

His cooks are among the best of his staff, all things considered. But so it happens that he is not in the high, ocean-overlooking part of his home when it begins to fall. He feels a faint rumble beneath the floor and pauses, head tilted to listen. Somewhere, something creaks. And then something tears.

All at once his perfect home becomes a place of chaos: guards abandoning posts, staff and servants running in every direction, the clockworks not knowing what to do with themselves in the absence of an enemy to put down. Jindosh himself moves like a spectre, the shock of his home's demise too great to spur him into doing something like moving more quickly. Against all odds it's a maid (he knows her face, Maybe if he had a family, but that kind of thing doesn't even occur to him, his home remembers) who sees the master of the house staring dully out of a window as it splinters and does something about it, grabbing his hand and taking off at a run before he can find his voice to object.

The house crumbles. Glass shatters, wood splinters and stone all but dissolves as if it were never the marvel of engineering it was built to be. Metal screams and snaps as it bends in ways it was never intended to and Jindosh has no words for the feeling he experiences as his life's work, years of work and decades of research, slip into the sea like they were never there. How? he wonders. How, how, how? No answer comes to him; his greatest defeat is this, and though he can see no enemy that caused this, he knows: his house is flawless, and if it falls then his enemy has bested him without ever appearing before him.

A worthy opponent, despite the consequences.

Outside the carriage is somehow still working, but it throws itself off its track when a chunk of his waiting room wall lands on the station behind it. Jindosh and the maid are tossed limply into the grass, and the maid scrambles to her feet to continue running while Jindosh sits up to watch his house fall to rubble and dust. He thinks he can see his silvergraph lenses glinting in the afternoon sunlight as they fall, but perhaps he imagined it.

He's still sitting there watching when the dust has settled. When a dark-clothed figure covering her face stalks toward him, says nothing to him as he looks up into the eyes of his own destruction, the Empress, says nothing as she tosses the cracked shell of a clockwork soldier's head into his lap and walks away.

He's still sitting there when the sun begins to set, on the hill, on everything. She may as well have just killed him, he thinks as he finally rises to go pick through his own rubble. It would have been more merciful than this.]

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[He's known Paolo for 24 hours and has heard more plans in those hours than he has inn a long time, so yes, he has to be planning something. But planning to just pick up these shadowboxes and give them to him, just because—that's novel. Duke Abele placates Jindosh with money and resources for his Clockworks, and some dead insects are hardly comparable, but it's this offer somehow that gets Jindosh to look at Paolo like he's more than just a greasy criminal.

Just for a second, though. Maybe two seconds.]

As a matter of fact, I think they would look rather impressive covering up the cracks in your walls.

[Buy him these bugs?]

I don't think there's enough to cover all the cracks.

[There's a certain bitterness in that laugh, and it's short-lived once something dawns on him. It's an embarrassing moment when he realizes his first pick - one of the larger arrangements - is up too high for him to remove safely with his height. He stews a moment, lips pursed, then just kind of looks between Jindosh and the board as he moves to take up two smaller ones in reach.]

You can uh... get... that... and you can pick up one of those birds too, but not the big ones. [shut up] I'm grabbing a bone. We can carve it back home.

[Ah, Paolo is indeed tiny. Jindosh considers the larger piece, glancing back at the shopkeeper mildly as if anything she did at this point would deter him, then moves to take it down. He is at least careful with this huge thing of dead butterflies, so there's that.

Carving bonecharms however is the new highlight of his day right after robbing the bank later at night. He's thrilled. It's probably not obvious other than how he actually does look delighted, if only briefly before he has to lug this butterfly thing around.]

One of your more excellent plans. [compliment,] I won't be picking the owl's head, unfortunately, so do say your goodbyes to it now.

[He casts a cursory glance back towards Jindosh for his reaction, as if he hadn't just mentioned it to see if he'd enjoy that prospect. His attempt at feigning disinterest was immediately thwarted by his inability not to look delighted and his delight, but hey, he tried. Compliment him and his facade is finished.]

You would separate us? I'm heartbroken. [He lays the two pieces on the counter before Brozenar (that's her name? who did this?) so he can place a hand over his heart, like parting from this owl head is truly so unfortunate.] You've taken the wind beneath my wings.

Buy yourself a new pair of wings. That is only a head.

[And he doesn't need it staring at him like some kind of awful puppet every time he turns around just because Paolo thinks it's hilarious. He sets the huge butterfly display down on the counter, only vaguely thinking about how he's the one who has to carry this all the way back to the saloon... how horrid.]

Tell me, if your plan was always to butter me up with trinkets, [dead things: trinkets] were you suggesting you'd buy me flowers, earlier?

[Like, he wasn't really listening... back then...]

[Paolo pauses, suddenly without an answer when it’s put that way. He rubs the back of neck, looking towards the display of bones rather than at him.]

I mean, it was right there... didn’t know if you liked some pretentious floral arrangement, or uh... Yeah, I would have got you some. Just want you more comfortable until we get our hands on a place like this. With the business.

[This guy... Jindosh is looking at him, mostly out of surprise but still managing a judgmental smirk. Who in their right mind would buy Kirin Jindosh flowers?]

As much as I enjoy these, [the dead things] you needn't concern yourself with placating me that much, Paolo. I am not going to lose my temper and go on a rampage through your entire pub.

[How uncouth? He might shout out of windows at Howlers in the yard if the mood takes him, but please.]

I don't doubt you could if you wanted to, though. [it's hot] 's not... placating, anyway. I'm a nice guy, I'm just being accommodating. You're an important guest, and I'm nice to my guests.

[He waves a dismissive hand, looking back towards him with an amused but expectant look.]

Now, she knows who you are... and she knows who I am... and I know who she is, so we have a discount. Pick a bird, and let's go.

[Maybe he will murder someone? At the bank? Probably not, it's not in the big plan, but if he has to...

Anyway, this shopkeeper is still terrified, and Jindosh spares her about 0.05 seconds of looking at her before he walks away to pick up his favorite bird (which he already picked out before, thanks) and bring it back. This one. This is the one.]

Will you accommodate me further by having someone else carry these back? [he...lazy]

I can... [carry it all, he almost says. Then he truly considers at the amount of things he's picked out for them and realizes his hubris before it's too late. He looks towards the woman behind the counter, who seems to snap out of her terror long enough to prepare bags for them. Sure enough, it seems getting by just fine not paying.]

I'll get somebody to pick 'em up before the job. [That exciting BANK JOB... He's not carrying butterflies and birds around while he's heisting.] We should get you some proper clothes... then lunch, then... well, we wait. You can stand my company for that long, right?

[The job!!! He's very much looking forward to the job, even if Paolo keeps adding stops on this trip around town before the job actually happens. If someone could just sneak him in through the back, Jindosh could make it work...

But no matter: the job!!!]

You say that as if I have a choice. Somehow, I think I will endure. [He is getting presents, soooo.]

You do have a choice. My company's just that great.

[He says, as if he hadn't barred him from leaving the Crone's Hand just the day before. What an incredible change of heart he's had over the course of one day... Anyway, he does tear a poor Howler away from their scouting for the very important task of going all the way back to their boat in the canal with their "uh... important contraband, yeah." He does take him to lunch, where he hashes out the explicit details from powering the painter's lift, to how many guards they'll encounter from then on, and how all things technical is kinda just left to Jindosh after that. In the remaining time until the sun goes down, he probably listens to how Jindosh knows the intricacies of the security systems, and probably interrupts to distract him with tales of murder in the taxidermy basement so he can stop hearing about Clockworks. Spare him.

All in all, he'd call it pleasant. He thinks back on how pleasant it was when he's suffocated another guard, dropping them with an exasperated sigh. They were always so much bigger than him... it's a trial not to make a sound.] I'm suddenly realizing... why no one robs the bank.

[This has all been a very exciting day but Jindosh in his fantastic new clothes is ready to rob some goddamn banks. He has indeed been circling back to talking about Clockworks over and over since lunchtime, and he'll keep the murder basement in mind for later, but the closer it gets to evening the more myopic he is about getting into the bank. At least some of what he's said about his Clockworks is actual useful information about how to get them out of the building without killing everyone inside (suspicious).

And now, on the roof, he stands idly by as he watches Paolo choke out the last unsuspecting guard posted up here. He does like it better already that he doesn't have to crouch behind a corner and wait for Paolo to come fetch him. Anyway: the door, which he opens and steps inside. He has the good sense to finally lower his voice, now that The Plan is underway,] I daresay no one else in this city is capable of doing it, given the security systems in place.

[His. His systems. Did he mention he is so smart? He gestures for Paolo to follow him down the stairs and step lightly over an unconscious guard and through another door. He knows where he's going.]

Or perhaps it's the smell.

[Gross... well the first stop is the model roaming the main floor, as the others will require a little more system rewiring to get to in the first place. The security systems in here are, naturally, programmed to consider Jindosh friendly, but only Jindosh - a fact he remembers almost a moment too late, holding his arm out to stop Paolo from coming into view as the ceramic monstrosity stomps slowly past.]

Do you hear that? Whose voice is that, coming out of my machine? I swear I should have never given this miserable building a second of my time... You wait here.

[He needs to go march up to this horrible machine and reprogram it, a feat that starts with Jindosh snapping a few verbal code commands at it and then some irritable tinkering. Just uh, stand there and make sure no one wakes up somewhere down the hall? Thanks.]

[You know, he should be doing that! Under any other circumstances, he would be making some quip over his shoulder while he occupies his hands with finding things that aren’t his. But Paolo hasn’t moved from where Jindosh stopped him, and he hasn’t taken his eyes off the Clockwork. His safety net is a sure thing, he knows, so he shouldn’t worry about what it’s like being on the end of one of those blades, but—

But look at it. It’s horrifying. He has to keep a grip on his sword to keep his cool, and he only finds his voice again well after it’s clear the thing it’s safe enough to speak.]

They’re... big. [He tried,]

Edited (Icon,) 2017-12-26 17:16 (UTC)

[It sure is a big blade-covered monster. Mercifully frozen in place since Jindosh gave it the command to pause all programming, it is at least not swiveling its whole torso around trying to cut Paolo to ribbons right now. But it's massive and the rewiring spot on these older models is not conveniently low on the leg, so as Jindosh stands there straight at his own considerable height, to muck around with it - it's just so tall!!

He looks over at Paolo eventually, like, yes? And?]

Of course they're big. You can see the merits of intimidation working right now, even from all the way over there. [small man, they won't bite (anymore),] Come here and have a look at it, since it will be skulking around your dusty yard for the foreseeable future. Don't dawdle, time is precious.

[come! see! his monster!!!!]

[He'd rather be thirty feet away from this thing at all times? It's easier to admire these things from a distance, when it isn't so apparent he's almost half the size of them. He swallows, rolling his shoulders and dragging his feet as he walks over - carefully, remaining behind Jindosh, like it could just up and do something at any moment.

He looks silly, peeking over Jindosh's shoulder, he knows. But he apparently values caution over keeping up appearances in the face of what he can't even begin to understand... if Jindosh weren't here, he'd probably have bolted.]

The... the bird head is uh... it's easier on the eyes.

[No, he has to come and meet Jindosh's estranged child. There are three more where this one came from, Paolo, get used to them. The machine isn't off but is effectively put into a sleep mode, which means that it's not moving but its grinning half-face is bent down to grin terribly in Paolo's direction.

This is the happiest Jindosh has been in two days, despite his continued murmuring about how terrible it is that someone re-recorded the machine's voicebox. Look at him, he's practically glowing.]

Oh, is it? Then I will pray that your underlings feel the same, and no one gets themselves in trouble cracking the plaster. [Not because they'd get stabbed, he'll take care of that... but because Jindosh might personally slap someone? He might. Anyway, he needs to make sure whatever he's done to this machine worked, so without any warning he turns and grabs Paolo's shirt to drag him bodily forward to look at the Clockwork.]

Hold still, thank you. [And then he taps something that wakes the machine back up, whirring to life and staring - sort of - down at Paolo from its full height. Jindosh pinches a few wires or whatever it is these machines that don't make logical engineering sense for the time period need to operate, and the Clockwork... offers Paolo a bank account in its pleasant female voice.]

Ah, you see! Almost perfect, for its early design and limited practicality... once I've time to change its speech back to what it should be, it will be... marvelous.

[Paolo knows he’s not going to die or anything, but he kind of wanted to the second Jindosh stopped being his shield from this monstrous thing. Mercifully, he doesn’t panic, standing stiff as a board and thinking about how much money he’s going to be making by the end of this job. When that isn’t enough to ignore how the face is just leering at him, he thinks about Jindosh looked happy, so maybe it isn’t that bad—

He jumps when the thing speaks to him, shooting a dirty look over his shoulder like he at least could have warned him? Somehow? Then he clears his throat and looks back up at it, going to wave a hand through one of the spaces between the legs and the torso. Not so tough now, huh...] No, no, then I can’t make jokes at them. Like how I’m making a withdrawal.

[Don't... do that. Jindosh swats at his hand to leave the poor machine's magnetic junk alone, then steps back without closing the wiring panel. Should he turn it off again...? This isn't his part of the plan.]

Please, don't patronize my work. When will your people be here to lift it out?

[It stomps too hard to walk out the front door...]

I'm just wondering how it... [No, now's not the time to ask anything. One, they're robbing a bank, but two, he really doesn't need a lecture even if they're not robbing a bank. He steps back, looking to where they came.]

They're probably still emptying out all the registers... They'll need it deactivated to take the pieces outside.

[Well Paolo, that's a good question, even if he didn't finish asking it,] Magnetic coils. You do know what a magnet is?

[Right, small man... He moves back to the wiring panel just to deactivate it again, then closes said panel and gives the machine an appraising look. Hmm.]

If they break anything... Do you pay them, or do you all pool your ill-gotten gains in some filthy upturned hat somewhere? Either way, someone will have to compensate.

[They're robbing a bank. Someone will have to give up their new money to fix his robot baby.]

[Wow, that's a lot of condescension in one minute? On top of being dragged around in front of this thing. Paolo sneers, patting Jindosh on the shoulder as he moves past him.]

Your funds are going in some filthy upturned hat somewhere if you keep that up. I pay them well. If they break your shit, it's because I told 'em to.

[This would be a lot more intimidating if he knew where he was going... He stops a few feet away, staring at a wall.] Don't dawdle, time is precious.

[Aw, look at him, he's bothered. Jindosh scoffs, looking over the Clockwork one more time before he turns and heads for the elevator.]

And here you were in such generous spirits this afternoon. I should think upsetting me at this juncture would be very... uncomfortable for you and your fellow criminals, Paolo.

[There is, indeed, a murder robot right there. It can take more than a few bullets. He raises his hand to press the elevator button, but waits so he can give Paolo a look to hurry up.]

That is not a threat, by the way; simply a statement of basic fact. Let's continue.

I think upsetting my criminals at this juncture would make you very uncomfortable.

[He knows that's really not true - he can easily make an escape, but like hell that he'd leave Mindy in such a tough spot. He takes a deep breath and shoves his hands in his pockets, skulking into the elevator somewhat defeatedly. He can be passive aggressive until the end of time, but it'll be better to change the subject, stroke Jindosh's ego.]

I don't know what a magnet is.

A little blood and viscera don't bother me.

[Ha... murder. They're heading for the basement, anyway, since that will be easier to walk directly into than the security office. Not that the office will be difficult, either, considering every piece of mechanical or electric machinery in this building is, uh, his—but it will be slightly more annoying.

On the bottom floor, there is of course the electric current, and Jindosh gestures at Paolo to stay there and wait again. Now, back to the important thing... from across the room...] In... simplest terms, my Clockworks are held together at the joints by an invisible force created using special coils.

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