dumbshow | was i ever truly off my bullshit

was i ever truly off my bullshit

[When Kirin Jindosh's house falls into the sea, he almost doesn't realize it's happening. No alarms have been activated, no sensors in his floors alert him to the presence of an intruder; even the mechanisms of his house are silent as the grave, on this completely ordinary day. Were there anything amiss in his house, he would know... and nothing appears to be wrong.

He hasn't eaten in two days. It's unimportant, but he's pushed his hunger to the point of distraction and now needs to put something in his body before he starts to slip in his work. It's this that gets him out of his lab and skulking directly down to the kitchens instead of waiting around for someone to bring him food in the dining area; the cooks aren't pleased to see him in their space (it isn't theirs), but they never are, and Jindosh can eat a pear in peace for five minutes thanks to their studiously avoiding his gaze.

His cooks are among the best of his staff, all things considered. But so it happens that he is not in the high, ocean-overlooking part of his home when it begins to fall. He feels a faint rumble beneath the floor and pauses, head tilted to listen. Somewhere, something creaks. And then something tears.

All at once his perfect home becomes a place of chaos: guards abandoning posts, staff and servants running in every direction, the clockworks not knowing what to do with themselves in the absence of an enemy to put down. Jindosh himself moves like a spectre, the shock of his home's demise too great to spur him into doing something like moving more quickly. Against all odds it's a maid (he knows her face, Maybe if he had a family, but that kind of thing doesn't even occur to him, his home remembers) who sees the master of the house staring dully out of a window as it splinters and does something about it, grabbing his hand and taking off at a run before he can find his voice to object.

The house crumbles. Glass shatters, wood splinters and stone all but dissolves as if it were never the marvel of engineering it was built to be. Metal screams and snaps as it bends in ways it was never intended to and Jindosh has no words for the feeling he experiences as his life's work, years of work and decades of research, slip into the sea like they were never there. How? he wonders. How, how, how? No answer comes to him; his greatest defeat is this, and though he can see no enemy that caused this, he knows: his house is flawless, and if it falls then his enemy has bested him without ever appearing before him.

A worthy opponent, despite the consequences.

Outside the carriage is somehow still working, but it throws itself off its track when a chunk of his waiting room wall lands on the station behind it. Jindosh and the maid are tossed limply into the grass, and the maid scrambles to her feet to continue running while Jindosh sits up to watch his house fall to rubble and dust. He thinks he can see his silvergraph lenses glinting in the afternoon sunlight as they fall, but perhaps he imagined it.

He's still sitting there watching when the dust has settled. When a dark-clothed figure covering her face stalks toward him, says nothing to him as he looks up into the eyes of his own destruction, the Empress, says nothing as she tosses the cracked shell of a clockwork soldier's head into his lap and walks away.

He's still sitting there when the sun begins to set, on the hill, on everything. She may as well have just killed him, he thinks as he finally rises to go pick through his own rubble. It would have been more merciful than this.]

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[Paolo marvels at this incredibly rare occasion, so much so that he nearly misses his glass when he starts pouring the wine. He catches himself staring, and looks back to what he's doing just in time.]

Looks like it's more for me, then. [No, please drink his wine anyway... It was so expensive.] To celebrate the fact that... [nope, he's still being a baby,] I got you the great Kirin Jindosh to eat something. They won't believe it.

[Things to add to Jindosh's mental list of things that make Paolo lose awareness of the world around him: eating pudding.

He wags the spoon at him, scolding. Shut up.] You have seen me eat on several occasions. Pour the wine and tell me what you did besides make pudding, instead. Surely your afternoon was not wholly occupied by sugar and apples.

[tell him, about beating a guy up,]

Oh, this? Dunno what you're talking about, this is definitely from an apple. [Paolo smirks as he gestures towards his face, but he relents easily enough. He leans over to pour the wine into the other glass as he contemplates the real story. Hmm...

Well, Jindosh already knows he's jealous, so there's no point in downplaying it. He sets the bottle back and leans back, shrugging his shoulders casually.] I went and asked that kid what the hell he was thinking, y'know, all civil. He said he didn't have any idea what I was talkin' about, so that was what started it. The uh... real conversation. [He waves the more battered and bruised hand, like it speaks for itself.]

He kept thinking that I'd take his word over yours, y'know, like I'm some kind of idiot. So we talked for about an hour, and he decided he wanted to talk back to me, because he had some sort of impression that I didn't have the right to be taking up all your time. Now, the only thing I think he's going to be bothering you about after this evening is how what you use for those lost fingers of yours. With a little less pretty face, and a little slower, because I'm pretty sure he got a... a concussion, you said, right? That's it. Hit his head on the bar and lost some fingers, all in one day. Tough break.

[Yeah, nice... give him his wine so he can really enjoy this story, that's the stuff. Paolo has genuinely decimated this other Howler just because Jindosh implied he should and that's still as flattering as it really should not be, they're both crazy.

At some point he reaches over to tug on Paolo's sleeve, to get a better look at that bruised hand. Let him see... let him touch.]

I won't be making anyone new fingers, so he'll have to get used to his new lot in life. I do hope it wasn't his dominant hand. [he lies, lyingly,] I suppose I should thank you for defending my honor.

[lol..... well he'll touch hands for a second there, that counts as thanks.]

[Why he touch... Paolo sighs, but ducks his head and relents as is custom whenever Jindosh puts his hands on him. He’s leaning at the edge of his seat for this, just so he can pretty much hold his hand. You’re welcome.]

You saying you wouldn’t give me new fingers? I’m hurt. [He wiggles them for emphasis, but ignore the way he winces after.] It isn’t that bad... Gotta say though, you should probably do it yourself for a change.

[He touch... Just shut up and sort of hold his hand while he looks at this injury. Hmm, yes, very nice. That's going to be even grosser in the morning.]

You might want to put ice on these, but you won't lose any. [Even the ice is just a suggestion, fuck it,] You want me to fight your subordinates?

[just wondering....]

[Evaluating how gross his hand is going to be is great and all, but you know what's better? Looking at anything else besides his hand before he gets self conscious about it-- No, Paolo doesn't get self conscious, that's not right. It's that the waning conversation makes that distinctly uncomfortable feeling start to pool, because if he runs out of things to talk about, how is he supposed to leave him wanting? His fingers curl in, catching on Jindosh's before he moves to withdraw entirely.]

I'm sure you could, but uh... I don't think I can afford losing any others. [Because he would probably ruin them worse than he beat that guy. Hot, but no? He turns head, looking out at the condemned buildings blocking what could be a great view.] I mean if any uh... Eyeless freaks come running, you know, they... They don't come out this way, but... Ah, shit.

I got an apartment for you, up in Cyria. [A beat. For once, he doesn't the one that doesn't know how to shut up.] It's the one above the florist, you know, with the dying whale playing in the window. Mindy wants to take over the Red Camellia, and you need a uh... a better place to think.

[Hey, he's looking at those gross fingers? Oh well; Paolo pulling his hand away means Jindosh looks up at his face again, faintly amused by his bumbling. He would one hundred percent absolutely destroy any cultists who got in his way, good call.

But the abrupt change of topic to this apartment is a surprise. Jindosh is clever, and observant when he wants to be—all other times? It's as if the rest of the world doesn't exist. So he had no idea this apartment was even a thought Paolo was having, and the surprise on his face is genuine. An actual apartment? In the Good Part of Town? Quiet?

Calling it a better place to think is a nice touch, because he won't sleep any more than he does here. Laughable.]

I will have to take one of the Clockworks with me. [The neighbors will LOVE that,] And I do suppose the Red Camellia has a better view. Will you put apple pudding on the new menu?

[He'll still show up and drink all the wine? That is the Arrangement.]

[Some tension he didn't realize he'd been carrying ebbs away when he sees the surprise - he might have been a little paranoid that Jindosh had come to his own conclusions and wanted to get his hands on what secrets he still kept before he abandoned ship. The more he thinks about it, the more ridiculous it is now. As clever as Jindosh is, he'd have been much more obvious if that were his goal, with his great fascination with the Void.

He wrings his hands when he laughs, but his shoulders are more relaxed. A part of him still aches at the idea of the fourth floor being empty, but not nearly as much with this out there.]

No, no, but it'll be the secret menu. Things Only Kirin Jindosh Eats. On the house, of course.

[Maybe he should be offended at this baby menu... but he's not, it's great, give him nothing but pudding.]

Ah, so you'll be paying me in pudding for my services with your weapons and my Clockworks? Very interesting.

[Fascinating... Here Jindosh is already thinking about the sheer amount of time he'll be spending on carriage rides pretty soon, since he will have to come back and deal with these weapons and tend to his metal children and so on... It's doable.]

Tell me, then— why are we up here when we could be drinking wine in my new apartment?

[Oh, the answer to that is easy. I didn't plan on telling you tonight, or this week, or ever and Mindy would do it for me, he should say. Instead he takes a sip of his wine, brows raising like the answer is obvious.]

I didn't think you'd want to go today, what with your little project, and the pudding, and... y'know. [he lies, lyingly] If you want to go now...

[Jesus Paolo you have legs, you too can walk to a carriage station and visit him in the apartment you decided to give him!! Jindosh raises an eyebrow in turn, like, obviously he wants to go now.]

Wasn't it you who said I should have a quieter place to think? I'll do my thinking after I've finished your wine.

[It's drinking in the apartment time, let's go, he wants to go!!]

[No, clearly he can never go up there without an explicit invitation? He hardly ever intrudes on Jindosh working on the fourth floor, so making a whole trip out of going to see him is asking so much of his old nerves.] Didn't anybody tell you about travelling after sundown? You can run into some unsavory figures.

[He shoots him a tired, but faintly amused look before he stands and takes the bottle. The sun's long since gone down, but it isn't an unpleasant trip - there isn't many people out, and when there are, they recognize the two enough to know not to disturb them. And the further their journey gets from the Dust District, the easier it is to appreciate the night sky. Paolo seems to have an affinity for pointing out shapes in them, because he spends half the carriage ride avoiding serious conversation with how he used to name them when he was a boy.]

It's different now, they uh... they already have names when they come to me. [But, ah, they're arriving, pointless deflecting over. Take the very nice keyring he's pulling, this is Jindosh's now.] Here, the gate key, and the house... the saloon, but I don't think I want you showing up after closing.

[Know that Jindosh gives him a look for that unsavory figures crack, considering they personally are the most unsavory people in town who aren't literally siphoning other people's blood into their bodies, and Paolo should stick to murder over jokes. This guy.

The chatter about stars is just that - chatter, obvious as Paolo has been teetering on the edge of something since he brought up the apartment in the first place. Jindosh doesn't interrupt him to press; it will come out sooner or later, he's sure. Give him his beautiful keys.]

Why, what after-closing secrets are you going to hide from me now? [He's spent a lot of hours in the torture basement, why does he have to abide by closing time!! Mean. Come upstairs with him.] Next you'll want me to send word ahead of time.

I don't want to drag my ass out of bed to feed you. That's my secret. [He can see it now: Jindosh getting his famed four hours of sleep and coming over when Paolo's maybe had an hour. He won't allow that? Come get him before he tries to sleep.] Maybe I should make you write letters... Make a reservation.

[He's right behind him though, calm down. He doesn't really know why he's here again, since he's the one that came and threw out things Jindosh would think are useless. And add more butterflies. And birds. He did a lot, don't look into it-] I wouldn't keep secrets from you, anyway.

Besides all this. [He gestures around mildly, like, the whole apartment he didn't know about until an hour ago? That was a secret. There are so many nice birds here, and everything...

Well it's time to sit and drink, so here he goes. Look around? No, it's adequate, he wants to finish alcohol time now.]

I'll have the Clockworks run messages back and forth. [They don't have hands... the neighbors will especially love to see them running around.] ...Is there a spare key?

[Yeah, nice, sit back and enjoy this couch. It’s more comfortable than the one Paolo’s been having him “sleep” on, but he tries not to think about that as he sits back and hands over the bottle.]

But then I’d still have to hear your voice. [He smirks, crossing one leg over the other. Misunderstanding the question, he replies:] No, I wouldn’t leave a spare so some idiot can come interrupt you. Give me more credit than that.

[Is this man real... Jindosh drinks straight from the bottle as he just looks at him, wondering if Paolo is really especially dense, or if he's just inflated his opinion of him unduly before now. Surely he shouldn't have to ask... He doesn't think he's ever actually asked another person to keep him company besides Sokolov, and that was a very particular context that probably does not apply here, anyway.

So what the fuck, Paolo.]

I thought you might take time to come and have a drink with me here, every now and then. [Gaze........ come on, little guy.] Unless you aim to keep me locked up here in my tower until something breaks you cannot fix.

[ha.......humor]

[Oh. Well, this isn't one of his proudest moments already, but not really getting that right away really takes the cake. He swallows, looking back down at his hands with a faint flush creeping up his face. Words, he knows how to use them-]

I mean- yeah, I can... I can... make the time, I guess. I just uh... I didn't think you'd... [God, he's so dumb? He can't shuffle off to his own space here, give him a minute to deal with it. He eventually taps his good fingers to his temple, to emphasize his point.] I'm not the easiest guy to bounce ideas off of, so I'm kinda... useless here, you know.

Thankfully most of my ideas are fine without anyone's help.

[It's dawning on him here that he's going to have to do this stupid, stupid thing all on his own, as Paolo is apparently too dim to put two and two together. He sits back a little, considering him, casually ruminating over his personal choices... god.]

All of the time I do not reserve for my work I spend on you, already.

[sooo]

But that's still to further your work. Those wheels are always turning, you're always thinking of how to...

[Get something out of him? No, actually, Jindosh's never asked for anything but what's already his. It's Paolo that asks, makes plans to use. He's known that for awhile now and ignored it, so it's not really fair that he's tried to pull that excuse.

Jindosh putting his hands on him at every opportunity doesn't do anything to further his work - Paolo just doesn't want to accept it because he doesn't know what to do with it.]

... I don't get why you'd like someone like me, Kirin.

[Yes, that's him, Kirin Jindosh the schemer. He thinks he's pretty straightforward when he makes demands for things, actually - Paolo is the one who's planting these ideas of Jindosh's abundant secret machinations for whatever reason. At least that one he figures out for himself.

Now then... the other thing.]

Neither do I. And therein lies the great mystery itself. [He smirks, like this is very funny, but really it's only amusing to him... He can't itemize a list of logical reasons for this; the heart, of all things, is the one puzzle he cannot solve (besides the Void but never mind that now).

This is not very romantic, but whatever, no expected romance out of him.] Yet I do, and here we are.

[Smirk away, but you still like a huge idiot... Paolo probably should be disappointed in an answer like that, but he smiles despite himself. A vague answer from Kirin Jindosh is still more of an answer than anyone else has gotten out of him, and there's some pride to be had in that.]

Yet here we are. [He shifts to face him more, then holds his hand out expectantly for the bottle.] I'll get the spare. Then we can drink, and we can talk, or drink and talk, or... neither of those things. Whatever you want.

[He said! He likes him! He really said that!! That's not vague, don't be picky. Jindosh isn't sure what to do with this, himself - only that he's not very satisfied by Paolo just making faces at him and listing things to do or not do. But he says whatever Jindosh wants, and what Jindosh wants right now is some certainty that his very legitimate proclamation is not in error.

Or more simply: He hands over the bottle and in doing so pushes Paolo's arm down with it, getting that out of his way as he leans the rest of the way in close and kisses him.

Is that too vague!!!!]

[Unexpected, but exactly what Paolo needed to get it through his thick skull. He tenses initially, spending a few seconds sitting stupidly while he's probably gone red up to his ears, but he carefully lowers the bottle to some table so he can safely lean into the kiss. He places one hand at Jindosh's collar to keep him still - like he'd pull away after all this, please - and the other over the infuriating fabric around his neck to brush his thumb over the skin it doesn't cover.

His proclamation isn't in erorr - kissing Paolo is a very good decision, because Paolo kisses like he knows he wasted his time and he wants to make up for it. He takes a minute, bordering another half before he finally separates himself, and when he does he has a stupid smile across his face like it was his idea in the first place.]

Aren't I glad I ran into you.

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clockwerk - 2018-01-04 09:37 (UTC) - Expand

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