dumbshow | was i ever truly off my bullshit

was i ever truly off my bullshit

[When Kirin Jindosh's house falls into the sea, he almost doesn't realize it's happening. No alarms have been activated, no sensors in his floors alert him to the presence of an intruder; even the mechanisms of his house are silent as the grave, on this completely ordinary day. Were there anything amiss in his house, he would know... and nothing appears to be wrong.

He hasn't eaten in two days. It's unimportant, but he's pushed his hunger to the point of distraction and now needs to put something in his body before he starts to slip in his work. It's this that gets him out of his lab and skulking directly down to the kitchens instead of waiting around for someone to bring him food in the dining area; the cooks aren't pleased to see him in their space (it isn't theirs), but they never are, and Jindosh can eat a pear in peace for five minutes thanks to their studiously avoiding his gaze.

His cooks are among the best of his staff, all things considered. But so it happens that he is not in the high, ocean-overlooking part of his home when it begins to fall. He feels a faint rumble beneath the floor and pauses, head tilted to listen. Somewhere, something creaks. And then something tears.

All at once his perfect home becomes a place of chaos: guards abandoning posts, staff and servants running in every direction, the clockworks not knowing what to do with themselves in the absence of an enemy to put down. Jindosh himself moves like a spectre, the shock of his home's demise too great to spur him into doing something like moving more quickly. Against all odds it's a maid (he knows her face, Maybe if he had a family, but that kind of thing doesn't even occur to him, his home remembers) who sees the master of the house staring dully out of a window as it splinters and does something about it, grabbing his hand and taking off at a run before he can find his voice to object.

The house crumbles. Glass shatters, wood splinters and stone all but dissolves as if it were never the marvel of engineering it was built to be. Metal screams and snaps as it bends in ways it was never intended to and Jindosh has no words for the feeling he experiences as his life's work, years of work and decades of research, slip into the sea like they were never there. How? he wonders. How, how, how? No answer comes to him; his greatest defeat is this, and though he can see no enemy that caused this, he knows: his house is flawless, and if it falls then his enemy has bested him without ever appearing before him.

A worthy opponent, despite the consequences.

Outside the carriage is somehow still working, but it throws itself off its track when a chunk of his waiting room wall lands on the station behind it. Jindosh and the maid are tossed limply into the grass, and the maid scrambles to her feet to continue running while Jindosh sits up to watch his house fall to rubble and dust. He thinks he can see his silvergraph lenses glinting in the afternoon sunlight as they fall, but perhaps he imagined it.

He's still sitting there watching when the dust has settled. When a dark-clothed figure covering her face stalks toward him, says nothing to him as he looks up into the eyes of his own destruction, the Empress, says nothing as she tosses the cracked shell of a clockwork soldier's head into his lap and walks away.

He's still sitting there when the sun begins to set, on the hill, on everything. She may as well have just killed him, he thinks as he finally rises to go pick through his own rubble. It would have been more merciful than this.]

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[It was just fine and normal when Paolo bandaged his hand, but being on the other end of this is... well, it's not uncomfortable, but it sure is unusual. His shoulders tense, and suddenly the details of Jindosh's new threads much more interesting than his face. He could meet his eyes if he wanted to, he's sure, because he's just fine. He's not embarrassed - he's just choosing not to because his decision to shop before all this was a great one. Right.]

They're probably already... [He trails off, realizing it's probably better that he give the man some real silence. And he's pretty sure if he stays here another Clockwork they didn't know existed will just materialize to ruin his life.] Yeah- Yeah, they'll empty this place when you come out. We'll be... downstairs. Yeah, uh- thanks.

[Thanks, he's leaving as quickly as possible as soon as the knot is tied. He's got about five different emotions going on right now and he needs to not be in his company for about all of them. Enjoy the vault, he's gone now.]

[And that was how the most secure bank got super robbed by the reason it was the most secure bank in the first place!! Amazing. They go back and Jindosh puts his beautiful children back together and educates the Howlers for days about how to not die around them, and so begins the Crone's Hand Renaissance. Stolen money goes into making the bar look nice and getting the yard cleaned up some -- someone probably puts in for an actual low stage for the music when people want to get up and play some. The Crone's Hand is still Howler territory, but classier... prettier now.

Jindosh, for his part, has dedicated most of his time to the Clockworks, with other time spared to fix everyone's shitty weapons and probably teach Paolo some new and exciting ways to torture people in the basement. At some point he buys a hookah and becomes instantly more popular overnight with every single Howler, much to his chagrin... he doesn't understand their howling still and he never will, but at least they don't glare at him nonstop when he enters a room anymore.

So he's... settled, somehow. He's still grumpy and a pain in the ass pretty often, but the success of the heist has given the Howlers lasting success, especially with the machines. It's obvious to all of Karnaca that Kirin Jindosh has, for some reason, shacked up with the Howlers because of the machines patrolling the area all the time, but no one has been dispatched to arrest him or anything, so... life is okay? Life is decent.

Today, Jindosh has a few very nice sketches of even better wristbows he wants to make to show Paolo, an activity that starts with interrupting whatever Paolo is doing with a hand on his shoulder, then his back, then inching up to the back of his neck to... make him look at the picture. Yes, what else could this be?? Look.]

—Now, this one is sleeker than the last, and it won't catch on any sleeves... [he will just continue,]

[Paolo has remained a busy man, but he has become a much happier busy man. He framed the frontline of the paper talking about the unbelievable bank break-in the second it came out, and then he proceeded to frame columns of how some Important Rich Figureheads are distraught, and then finally the gossip columns about Jindosh's new residence. Alongside those are several more cases of butterflies from more trips they can actually afford, and though the Howlers can't quite figure out why, he's taken up an interest in taxidermy - his bedroom walls have ran out of space, and the purchases have overflowed to the rooms above.

The only thing left to wonder about is Paolo did make this place more comfortable to be accommodating out of a sense of obligation, not expectation. He rolled up his sleeves and renovated the other, non-business floors himself because he owed it to Jindosh that his living space be clean, and spacious, and relaxing without the help of a good smoke. So he doesn't expect anything out of him in turn, and it's always a surprise when he turns his attention away from his machines without being prompted. He could get by just fine with the two of them separate, him managing budget and supplies while Jindosh produced things of his own interest. The implications he should help them out of their shit-tier weapons were always teasing, and when he actually does all that, he doesn't know what to do with it. His greatest guess is that Jindosh appreciates his company, one Mindy confirmed for him after he finally suggested it, but his speculation hasn't gone beyond that. He can't figure out why she keeps laughing at him when she thinks he's not listening.

He's currently half awake, working on budgeting when he feels the hand on his shoulder. He just needs to write down a few more lines when his head is being turned. His shoulders shake with silent laughter, and he reluctantly stops resisting to finally consider the design.]

Making new ones takes more time than an upgrade... We got a lot of people, Kirin, you really wanna take the time?

[For all Jindosh's mind is an impenetrable puzzle, the machinations of his restless mind ceaseless and undecipherable to most people, his motivations are comparatively much simpler. He dislikes ignorant nobility, so they should pay him to make things that will help them kill each other. He can't endure a whole gang equipped with old and cheaply made weapons, so he has to correct this grievous mistake.

And so on. So if Jindosh, who still stares down Howler thugs who try to talk to him casually until they get uncomfortable and leave, keeps coming back to Paolo of his own volition... Well, Mindy is very perceptive in the way that she has fucking eyes, unlike Paolo. Apparently. Jindosh himself hasn't bothered with the intricacies of this... whatever it is; by all accounts, Paolo is an uneducated gangster who should hold no interest for him, and yet here he is, again. Jindosh's machines in his yard, Jindosh's interests trickling into his decor, of all things.

And so on. If he wants to put his hands on Paolo and linger, he's going to do it.]

Do you want to lose more people? Repairing every break the current set has suffered will make them too heavy if they're to be useful at all—it will take more materials, and this design is better. Your black market smiths try, I'm sure, but they should stick to peddling stolen wares instead of making their own.

[He waves the sketch significantly. Take it, you jerk.]

I don’t doubt it is. It’s probably perfect... I’m just thinking about the money, and your time, and...

[He sighs, rubbing his eyes and inadvertently leaning back into his hand when he relaxes into his seat. He has to put his booklet down to take the sketch from this terrible distraction, but he’s too tired to make a fuss. He’s realized by now that he’s not going to keep his train of thought when Jindosh is in the room, whether it be contemplating whatever he has to give or just the man himself.]

It’s uh... it’s nice. As long as it doesn’t cut off... what’s the word... circulation on our bigger guys. You’ll need their measurements... It’s a lot of effort for something on the side. You want something big from me, or what?

[yeah he wants that dick

Or: he gives Paolo a look, somewhat exasperated because of course he knows he'll need to make every individual Howler sit still and be measured for this, and of course he knows it's going to take some time... it's not as if he has anything better to do, and besides, there's something thrilling in a distinctly lowbrow way about these thugs tearing their way across Karnaca armed to the teeth with Jindosh-brand technology. Maybe he'll start printing a logo on their wristbows as an extra big "fuck you" to the nobility.]

Well, I am going to need them to cooperate for more than ten minutes, this time. [What wacky misadventures have Jindosh and the Howlers been up to before this?! Use your imagination.] And you will be paying for the requisite materials, of course...

[He just wants to do this... for fun... Please don't mistake this as an act of charity because it is most certainly an act of showing off.]

Why? Are you going to give me another spare room? [lol...gay]

Well... [well, he is gay, but,] Not exactly.

[He could just say it right now, but he hesitates. In hindsight, his actual plans are a bit much. A whole apartment, in a district just as, if not more expensive than where Jindosh’s house had sat outside of? He’s not paying for it so much as evicting the previous occupant, but still. It also means he won’t have any obligation to come back here, and for some reason, that doesn’t sit right with Paolo. It leaves him with an uncomfortable, sinking feeling in his chest that Mindy could probably explain but he hates the way she already knows.

So he bites his tongue, instead laughing and moving to brush the hand behind him off.]

I’ll put in for the materials. Satisfied?

Hmm. [He didn't actually ask for something, so apparently Paolo just wants to give him gifts? That's nice and not entirely unexpected, given how Paolo just... renovates entire floors of buildings for him... and so on. To say Jindosh is happy at the Crone's Hand is something of a misinterpretation; it's noisy and there are far too many people in far too small a space, even if he retreats to the upper floor where the other Howlers dare not tread. However, he is... somewhat content. Accustomed to it now would be a better explanation. He's used to it.

Heckling Paolo is part of the deal, and Jindosh withdraws his hand from his neck only to hold it out again expectantly. It's Work Time.]

Enough. Give me your hand, you will be my prototype. [of course he carries a tape measure around? duh?]

[It’s his turn to look st him, somewhat exasperated. He was working? He had a nap planned after this? It isn’t the first time he’s had to put everything on hold for whatever new ideas he has, but still.]

You’re impossible, y’know. [He leans forward to slip his jacket from his shoulders, carefully hanging it over the back of his chair before he relinquishes his hand.] What’re you going to do when I’m not around to be your prototype, hm?

[No, naps are not at all productive, please get with the program. Jindosh only rolls his eyes, tugging this tape measure out of his pocket with one hand and tugging Paolo's hand closer to himself with the other. Hold still while he measures, thanks.]

Planning some kind of excursion? [Is Paolo going on vacation...?? What else but death could free him from Jindosh's incessant heckling about machinery, truly.] You do remember my many successes before we met, of course, so please- don't be coy.

[that's gay]

I like being coy.

[He winks, gayly, tilting his head back to enjoy the view while he's stuck here. The view is just how Jindosh looks every day, but he's usually pretending that he doesn't appreciate it. Badly.]

I mean, all the money rolling in from business is because of our last excursion... I don't need another one. I figure you'd want out of here.

[Paolo does this gay flirty thing and then just stares blankly when Jindosh touches him: what is the truth? Jindosh probably needs more than one very precise hand measurement here, so just wait.]

And where do you propose I go? To the rubble that was my home, no doubt full of squatters and bloodflies already? Crawling back to the Duke, to beg for room and board? Perhaps I should cast aside every ounce of good sense within me and join the Eyeless, sucking at each other's open wounds in foul-smelling nightclub rooms.

[Hey, all of those sound terrible? So.]

[Only he is allowed to be gay? Clearly? Jindosh can't actually like him, he's too smart and refined and many other things Paolo is not. Most of the time.]

There's other places. Karnaca's far from small, you just don't get around much. [Can he move yet? He's already trying to move his hand, spare him.] We can talk about it more later... I fixed one of those machines you made. The ones that play music? Let's enjoy it on the roof tonight.

[Refined....... that's funny. He is very smart though, thanks for noticing. He can move, Jindosh lets go to wind up the measuring tape and consider him. Paolo fixed something? Now that's hot.]

Ah, you've put in motion your plan to try and coerce me into dancing with the others, one step at a time. [jokes...... let him just lean against the desk, he's not going anywhere.] Fine, but I'll need to work on this first.

I don't think there's enough alcohol in the world to make you dance with anyone. [Paolo leans back, crossing his arms over his chest rather than go back to what he was doing. This is the prime opportunity to go back to work for the both of them, and yet they're still here.]

... You really don't want anything for this, Kirin? [He does a once-over, like if he looks hard enough he'll have some proof of his plans.] Don't tell me you're starting to care about all them.

[Yeah, that's probably true, he doesn't want to dance anytime soon. And it's also true that he could go back to work, but... he's here.]

I'm sure you won't believe that the marvel of engineering is its own reward. Just blame my ego, as usual.

[...]

That one with the scar, [He gestures to his face, this is a generic Howler, stay with him,] continues to interrupt my work with insipid chatter. What are you working on this, come have a drink that—it's incessant.

[control ur thug, babe]

[Paolo initially prided himself on how he knew exactly which Howler he was talking about, even with such a vague description... It lasted about ten seconds before the smile slipped and his jaw clenched. He glances past him towards the exit, leaning forward in his seat like he's ready to go, but knows he shouldn't.]

And he doesn't have any reason to think you'd do any of those things. [It's a statement, not a question... Jindosh only answers Paolo? It should stay that way?] I'll... take care of him-- he attitude, whatever. I'll handle it.

[he's not a jealous man, he thinks, this is normal, he thinks,]

[Nah, this seems like jealous man behavior. Jindosh can't help but be the slightest bit smug about it - he says two words and Paolo is ready to go put the fear of God into someone, very flattering. He shrugs, fiddling with a pen or something on the desk idly, like it doesn't really matter.]

Will you, now? That's very helpful of you. [lol......] Then perhaps I will finally get some work done in peace and quiet, afterwards.

Perhaps. [Don't look at him like that, now he has to acknowledge he's a little obvious and play it cool. He takes a deep breath and rises to his feet, stopping just before Jindosh with his hands clasped behind his back.]

Or maybe, when it's all done, I'll come over and ask some things... like what are you working on this and come have a drink that.

[Obvious, but cute. With Paolo volunteering to put himself in his space, Jindosh can't resist reaching out and just sort of tipping his chin up with a little nudge. Hey.]

Ah-ah. I've already agreed to your clandestine meeting on the roof. You of all people should know the limit of my nerves, by now.

[Oh, hey. Paolo blinks, but he manages to keep his head up and maintain eye contact. It's a feat, considering how many times he's mumbled something and walked off.]

I know your nerves aren't really all that grated by me. [Where did all this confidence come from... the adrenaline of knowing he's going to beat someone up, probably.] But if it matters that much, I'll save the wine for tonight.

[Lesson learned: make Paolo jealous more often. That temper directed at other people? Nice.]

The good one in the gold bottle, I hope. Because it's been such a trying day. [Give him... the nicest things. He deserves it.]

I already took it off the shelf. [Don't worry, babe. He's already planned out this whole thing. It's actually really convenient Jindosh came and spoke to him, so he didn't have to find some awkward way to bring it up.

Like how he's awkwardly still standing here because he doesn't have some smooth line to exit on. Hm.] Anything else, because of your trying day?

[Oh, he's planned ahead, how charming. Jindosh raises an eyebrow - as much as he too is still standing here, there was really no guarantee he'd have said yes to this roof date... getting a little ahead of yourself, Paolo...

But hm. Charming.]

Dessert. Something that pairs well with the wine. [pudding,]

Dessert. [Paolo repeats with a chuckles for a moment, up until he realizes he's serious. They don't just go around eating nice things- pear soda is a delicacy. How is he supposed to do this.] Right. Dessert. You... got it. I'll... be there. Tonight. Wine. Dessert.

[His confidence lasted like, a minute, it's fine. He clears his throat, then nods curtly and steps around him to exit the room first. He's keeping his back turned to avoid being judged, but Mindy's already laughing at whatever expression he's made from across the balcony.]

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