dumbshow | answer your god damn phone

Honestly...

[Rude. He looks more exasperated than insulted by that comment, though, sighing lightly and giving him a few more minutes before he speaks up.]

Leorio, I have been thinking about everything you've been saying. But I have a question I want to ask before anything else.

What is it that you want me to do? I'm 'over the top', I ignore you, I don't know what I'm doing all by myself. Right? [A glance.] So what should I be doing?

[What the hell happened to resting, you little busybody. Ten seconds out of Melody's room, and he drops the hardest question for Leorio to answer right on his head. Leorio's tired, he wanted at least a couple minutes, come on.]

Dunno. [Wait, he's not done.] I'm not you, Kurapika, but- back there- it didn't sound like you could see what you're doing to yourself.

[A beat.]

And you could stand to answer your goddamn phone once in a while.

[He was too busy crying, but look, they're headed down the hall towards an empty one of those rooms. Probably better than going up and downstairs a bunch.]

I already told you why I haven't been. [So shut up. He'd toss Leorio a look if he wasn't pointedly looking away by now, frowning in his thought.] What do you mean, what I'm doing to myself?

[He didn't cry!! much. But fine, just give him a place to flop uselessly.]

Are you serious? [It's probably lucky that he doesn't have the energy to yell too much right now.] You're a mess. You spent days coughing up blood because some fat old man worried about people sneezing less than thirty feet away!

You know why I'm working here. If you could see the number of eyes I was able to recover...

[He's so mad, but he's trying his best not to get into a yelling fight again. So he just sort of stomps over to the door and holds the handle, hesitating there for a moment.]

If I answered the phone, what would have changed?

[He's this close to snapping back that he gets it about the eyes, already, but mercifully even his tired brain realizes that would go over about as poorly as possible.

Instead, he scowls; thanks for making it sound like he extra wasted his time.]

What do you think? Sorry the stick up your ass doesn't like me very much!

[Can he please go lie down now.]

What I think...

[He pushes open the door, and Leorio's free to follow him, but he's already stepping across the room in a heated walk that soon becomes pacing. So, I mean, he can try to lie down in the bed there if he wants...]

Is that even if I told you what I wanted, it wouldn't do anything! It wouldn't be possible! You can't neglect your schooling, and I can't back out of what I'm doing now!

[So that leaves the question of what exactly he's talking about here, but. His pacing stops suddenly.] Doesn't it bother you? How is it that we're friends when everything I do aggravates you?

[He'll sit, okay, because he really is tired. Apparently he's not getting a real rest, so he'll just watch Kurapika pace back and forth for a bit. Somewhere in there he throws in an "I'm neglecting my schooling right now," as if that helps his case.

Does it help his case? He doesn't know anymore.]

Not everything. [helpful correction] Just the dumb things that'll get you in trouble.

[Wait. Wait wait wait, did he miss a detail in there.] What do you want, Kurapika?

[Just the dumb things that'll get him in trouble. But that's everything he's been doing lately, isn't it? Maybe it's just that Leorio has been too separated from the situation to understand. He always goes along in the end. That's key, isn't it?

His stomach twists now, with something like uncertainty. What does he want.

He thinks he knows now, and it's made him afraid, more than anything. He's got his back to Leorio right now because his eyes always feel too expressive.]

To kill the Spider and get my brethren's eyes back. [He's not done, this time--] But I... don't want to be alone.

[No, that didn't explain it enough.]

[He's waiting for something else, and it's only when the seconds have dragged too long for another statement to follow that Leorio realizes he was waiting at all. It can't just be that he doesn't want to be alone, because that would be- easy. Easy to fix.

Well, if Leorio had a say in it, it wouldn't have been a problem from the start. He huffs an impatient breath and crosses his arms, but doesn't say anything yet. Should he, honestly? How presumptuous of him is it to think he has the right to elbow his way in here, off the phone, actively?

About as presumptuous as it is to call Kurapika all the time and then be surprised when he's listened to the stupid voicemails, so, okay. With that crisis out of the way...]

You don't have to be. Moron.

No, wait.

[He's not... done yet, he realizes, and forces himself to turn around. He's across the room even still because this is strange and he has no idea what he's doing. But he feels like he's a little closer to the words he was looking for.

That might be enough. Or it'll go right over Leorio's head and he'll go off to die in shame. Either way.]

It's not only that I don't want to be alone. It's, despite everything... [He keeps trailing off, leaving long pauses between his words like he's struggling with them. And with this, he still tries to look confident, chin raised and hands at his sides from this distance.

If he gets too close, he doesn't know what he'll do, he doesn't know how it'd go. At least here, he's close to the door. That seems to be how he's always done things.

He lets out a short, annoyed sigh at himself.]

I think it's better, for your sake, not to be here, for any of this. [A pause.] But for myself, I think... That is to say, I don't want to be...

[He's actually fumbling over his words here, ah, damn it. He can search and search and search for words all he wants, but what's coming out here seems to come straight from his feelings, skipping his brain entirely. He's not sure if it makes sense. If it will make sense.]

...without you.

[So there is more. Leorio waits, through the pausing and stumbling over words, and just listens. It's difficult in exactly one spot, when Kurapika more or less says he should leave- but before he can interrupt with yet another hotheaded objection to what is and isn't good for him, there's the rest.

Oh.] Oh.

[He blinks, then blinks rapidly a few more times, trying to shake the surprise off his face. He realizes at once that he assumed the worst, that Kurapika would send him home without him having any say in it and they would go back to the same thing— and that he didn't want that, wouldn't accept it. As always, he came prepared for an argument- from the time he picked up the phone in his apartment, he was ready to tell Kurapika no when it came to this part.

He doesn't know what to tell him now. Brow creased, he looks down, drums his fingers against his arm. There's so much more at stake here than what he mentally prepared for.

He knows this: Kurapika is much better with words than he is, and he's going to blow it. But for all his complaints, he can't imagine giving up. Or at the moment, looking Kurapika in the eye, but baby steps.]

I think... [He finally starts, and of course he's copying how Kurapika said it, he's no wordsmith. His is shorter.] I can't agree with anything here. The mafia. [A brief scowl, then he addresses his elbow, like an adult:] But I don't want to- leave you.

[Ah. That's... it's a warm reaction now, in his chest and spreading through him, even if fear is still there. Of course it would be. He doesn't want to lose anyone else. He doesn't want to hurt anyone or interrupt anything-- there are so many worries.

But running away now would be too cruel. He realizes that, at least a little.

He looks down, a small, quiet laugh escaping in a breath before he moves to hesitantly step forward.]

It seems neither of us really know what to say here. [At least they're in the same boat. He can be a little comforted by that, and so he says it aloud in hopes that Leorio can be, too. He sits next to him, but for all that he's better with words, he's still staring at his own lap.]

I could tell you that our money comes entirely from legal means. Or I could say that I'm not opposed to finding a new way of handling things, should that come along.

But I don't think you'll like to see me in my work. I can hardly stand it myself.

[Leorio silently awards himself a point for not blowing it. Maybe not succeeding, but not screwing up more than he did all morning. He glances sideways at Kurapika when he sits, raising an eyebrow.

They haven't solved anything, but somehow Leorio feels a little lighter. He doesn't know where he'll be when this is over, whenever that is, so he has no reason to feel relieved- except for the fact that Kurapika doesn't want to be without him.

He turns that phrase over in his mind a few times, remembering it. It's good. Part of him even debates being happy, before getting embarrassed.]

Damn it, Kurapika. [That comes out with next to no actual anger, as he leans and bumps into Kurapika's shoulder.] You had to get stuck in this job, didn't you?

[He blinks at that, the smallest hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth as he leans back. There's another bump of their shoulders, and then he stays there, leaning a bit.

Part of him is surprise Leorio is being so calm right now. Did all of his message really get through? He thinks so, but this is smoother than he thought it would go.]

Sorry. It's my fault entirely, so I can't say much else. [He's psycho about this eye thing, he knows it.] I didn't meant to take from your resting time, either. Were you going to sleep?

[A good chunk of why this is going so smooth is because he's still pretty tired, thanks for remembering. And yet he still looks for a moment like he forgot he was sent over here to rest.]

Oh, yeah. [He should get to that. In a minute.] Think you can spare me an hour or two?

[His hands rest on his knees, gripping lightly and then loosening once Leorio speaks again. Right.]

Yes, that's fine. [He'd walked over here for a reason, but now he'd just thrown it away, just like that. To be fair, Leorio must be exhausted... It would be unfair to keep him much longer while he was fighting with his own feelings and thoughts.

So he pushes himself back to his feet in an unusually quick matter.]

You can... call me if you need anything. I'll let you rest and finish up at your own pace and without any distractions.

[Leorio hums noncommittally, switching gears for a moment to shrugging off his jacket. He'll sleep in most of a suit, but not a whole suit, it's a delicate balance.

Not unlike Kurapika's moods, though he'll keep the thought to himself. He makes the split-second decision to reach for Kurapika's arm as he goes, while he's still mostly in the jacket up to his elbows... he's had better ideas.]

Hey, hang on. [he's going to ask The Question again] Are you okay? With— I mean, you're okay. Right?

[Now, there's more attention drawn towards him. It's still just the two of him, but his face heats up and he feels caught off guard. He's... okay? He doesn't know the answer. Things feel better, but he's still uncertain and things are still unresolved.

He'd been squeezing his knees waiting to do something, but now just seemed bad timing all over. And now he was being stared at and questioned.]

I'm-- [Uh. He half turns back to face Leorio, his attempt at a normal expression just creating a vaguely nervous one. And then, his eyebrows scrunch until he looks a little annoyed, because really, this timing! Not that his timing was much better.

But he also realizes, in an instant, that Leorio is still sitting.]

I'm okay. [He decides to say, stressing the okay in his uncertainty. But he dips back slightly, pulling his arm free in a gentle tug.] But you're... You must be half asleep.

[He says that like he's bothered, and out of nowhere, really. Just like the way he leans in a hand to the side of Leorio's face the only preface to the small, chaste kiss he gives him. He's hoping that Leorio will be too tired to follow after him right now. He can deal with this in a few hours when he's rested.

So that's that. He pulls back, just a small bit at first to blink at his expression before his cheeks light on fire and he stands up tall, again making his walk for the door.]

N-now get some sleep!

[There are certain things it's unfair to spring on a man while he's literally being restrained by his own jacket, and this is probably one of them. Leorio all but boggles at Kurapika, in concern and confusion about which thing he fumbled this time (being half asleep is annoying?? excuse him).

Then a hand on his face and lips on his, and just as he overcomes his surprise Kurapika is pulling away. He must look the part of the clumsy buffoon even more than usual right now, arms stuck in his jacket while he stares at Kurapika with his mouth slightly open in dull surprise.

Ah, but-] Kurapika— [By all accounts, he should get up and follow. He's suddenly keenly aware of being red to the ears and swears under his breath as he practically throws his jacket the rest of the way off, finally, and by all accounts he should get up and go after Kurapika.

But he doesn't. He comes close, even stands and takes a step forward, but at the last moment he hesitates. He steps back, sitting heavily as the edge of the bed hits the back of his legs, and he just sits there. Later, he thinks, later he'll go and when he's not so tired he's sure to do- whatever he has to do- properly. Probably. He needs time to think, for once, by himself.

Honestly, he'll still manage it as sloppily as possible, but having the sense to stop and think wins him a point, right? Earlier he wanted to know all of the pieces before he decided what to do - he thinks he has them all now. So he sits there and thinks about what he wants and what he's willing to- to- to commit to, and what he should do next.

It's much less thinking than he anticipated in the end, and he totally gets a decent-length nap out of his free time. Nice.

Later, he doesn't stomp around trying to find Kurapika immediately upon waking up. He could but there are still sick people he has to help, and he thinks it's probably more aligned to various doctoring oaths to do that before he deals with his—personal life. So he doesn't go looking for Kurapika at once and definitely does not stop in to see Melody (she'd know), and whether it's because the remaining "patients" have less complicated nen than the two of them to deal with or because he's thoroughly on edge about what's going to happen next, he doesn't feel a powerful need to go knock out for another nap.

Now if he knew what Kurapika's schedule actually was today, that'd be great.]

[ kurapika can't bring himself to turn around and face leorio after that. Thankfully, he's not followed, and so he uses that time to think. Think and work. He can't seem to decide if he regrets it or not, revealing it so suddenly. The time was awkward, the place was wrong, and leorio wasn't in the right state-- but it fit, somehow. His honesty always shone in his tendency for emotional outbursts. And... That had definitely been some outburst.

Throughout the day, his thoughts wander back to the kiss and distract him. He's so clearly off that his comrades are talking about it in the halls, wondering idly if he's got more on his mind than this illness but also noting it's not his usual distracted behavior. There's no real anger behind it.

Nostrade had been informed of things, too. The building was opened back up from any 'quarantine' and certain members were sent to find who did this. Kurapika, for once, sent the others on this excursion without him so he could 'oversee the healing to the end'. Of course.

Leorio could find Kurapika giving out the last of the orders to someone over the phone, his back against the hallway wall as he speaks. Something about another mafia family and the casino, no violence yet and only information gathering. He spots Leorio approaching towards the end of a sentence and falters, straightening himself and cutting the phone call short. ]

I'm confident you can manage, but call me if there are any complications. [ and click, he hangs up, left staring at leorio with a sort of forced confidence. how rare to see it any less than full. ]

Leorio... [ hi ]

[Catching the tail end of that phone call, Leorio can't help but feel a sense of bitter satisfaction. True, he still doesn't agree with the Nostrade family's operations in general, but in this incident they're plainly the victims. Someone's going to go down for this, and he's not sorry about that.

He puts that thought out of his mind as he comes up next to Kurapika and leans against the wall as well. He looks less tense than he feels; this is hard. There's an end goal he has in mind, but figuring out what happens in between is not his forte. That's to say nothing of the complications that still hang over them, but he doesn't want to tackle those alone.]

Kurapika... [he says like he's breathing out a sigh, and chances a glance sideways at him. Well. Okay, first, for formality's sake:] Everyone's gonna be fine now.

[And then he lapses into silence, searching for words. He has it, really, he knows where this is going, but the bits and pieces keep getting away from him. The tension is still there but something about it is also comfortable, paradoxically, like the space between them is alive and humming and waiting for him to do something already.

He shifts his weight and in doing so closes the gap between them, and when his arm presses against Kurapika's, he doesn't draw away.]

You can't kiss and run. Who does that?

Thank goodness... Thank you. You did a good job.

[He can't help but feel tense beside him now. Even those honestly relieved words come out awkward, and as the silence falls he seems to get even worse. He tries to fall back to leaning against the wall, but it ends up feeling more like he's forced against it. Honestly, he's tempted to 'run' again. What a frustrating feeling.

Leorio's comment, of course, doesn't help. Color rises to his cheeks, and while he doesn't have the will to shove him like he gets the strong desire to, he does press back into that lean with an irritated huff.]

If you hadn't stopped me, I could have waited like I originally intended. [Half intended. He might have chickened out, but details.] Who comments on it like that!

[Hell yeah, he did a good job. He doesn't stop himself from chuckling at that - after all of this, he needs that.

But that aside, is this really happening... Does Kurapika really want to argue about kissing him... How embarrassing!!]

Like you intended? [what a nerd] You had a plan?

[Is it possible for him to tense any further?? Well, he bristles, at least.]

Don't think it was something long coming! [Ah, he's so friendly.] I was working it out in my head at the last minute. You were tired, so I thought...

[That words weren't going to get through enough. That they hadn't been. So...! Gosh, his cheeks are about as red as his eyes, now, thanks.

After trailing off and deciding not to finish that aloud, he finally asks, a little quieter.]

Why? Did it bother you?

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