dumbshow | the critically acclaimed open post

the critically acclaimed open post

assorted shitty people

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU
☆ melodrama is ultimate tier
★ SHIPPING AND FILTHY THINGS:
☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ things I won't rp: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He pulls a face, disappointed but not truly irritated, and . . . goes to eat his dumplings, that he didn't pay for, that he's really hungry for, because turns out being a small-time gangster means the grocery budget is almost nonexistent. So he eats without shame, all but inhaling two, three, four of them.

Disgusting.]

Hey.

[Mercifully, he says that when his mouth isn't full. It's afterwards, when people are clearing out, when Lan Fan is at Ling's side, not prompting him into leaving so much as simply waiting for her master.]

You mean that, or you just shitting me? Cuz I'll ask again if you really want. Next time.

[God, he's lucky he's good-looking. Ling hypocritically does not find shoveling food into one's face super attractive, but hey, they're good dumplings... he understands. He, too, remembers what it was like to be a hungry nobody.

There's idle conversation to fill time, but most of the sounds in the restaurant are the sounds of dishes clinking and the idle murmur to a waitress about more food until at long last, it's time to get out of here. Ling is half-turned to motion for one more dessert to go when Greed addresses him, making him pause.

He does order his dessert before he looks back at Greed, of course. That's important. Lan Fan will be carrying his to-go baggies.]

If you keep impressing me, who knows! I like you so far.

Ahh, I've had girlfriends on less.

[He grins as he stands, looking far more enthused.]

See you next time, sir. Don't forget to save the real good shit for me and mine.

[Just saying: clearly they've proven their worth. Clearly they're the best.

He and his gang have a little party of their own afterwards. Nothing special, just some drinks (the alcohol they stole from Ling, actually) and a lot of self-congratulating. Roa makes them some kind of weird German food, which looks gross but tastes good, and there's vodka and scotch and everyone pointing out their best moments. All in all: morale is raised, spirits are high, and everyone goes to bed cheered.

After all: they're finally making it. They're finally somebody. Not just some petty gang, but on the fringes of something big. Something actually important.

Two weeks pass, and Greed grows impatient. He knows he's supposed to wait to be called, but shit, he's no dog. Two weeks, and he goes poking around, trying to find his . . . well. Not actually sugar daddy, not yet, but one can hope!]

[They're good, but they're not that good.

Or-- and this is the problem, actually-- they kind of are, and it's not just Ling's fondness for big, smug jerks that makes him think so. Greed and his people are that good, and Ling finds himself presented timidly with several concerns the next day all about what to do with the ragtag group. Some of his people feel shown up, others have already put in requests to claim a member or two of Greed's people for their own smaller squads. Ling knows Greed won't like that, but "the cute boy won't like it" isn't a good enough reason to say no, so he takes his time figuring out how to calm his people down on both sides.

It's a hassle, honestly. To think one group of ragtag punks could inconvenience him even more after he takes them into his operation. At the very least, it's only a few days, and after that-- well, he has things to do. He gets busy! There's the rest of his business with that night's shipment to take care of, and the myriad things Lan Fan brings to him every morning...

It's nothing personal; he can't drop everything to flirt with Greed, regrettably. It's an honest surprise when one of his lieutenants tells him Greed is here, he is on the premises at one of their warehouses. Ling is on the main floor himself, his sleeves rolled up and his hair pulled back, looking up from a ledger he's been scrutinizing when Greed turns up. Ah??]

Oh. [He leans... to one side....] You didn't fight Fu at the door, did you?

[Surely not, that old man could kick Greed's ass.]

Psh. Please. He let me in.

[Or, well. Greed had sort of lied about Ling wanting to see him? Whatever, what Fu doesn't know won't hurt him. Ah, he's going to probably get in trouble for that . . . oh, well! That's for a future Greed to worry about and/or be scolded over!

He comes over, sitting on the desk, half-looking over the ledger.]

The ponytail's a good look, boss.

[Cheerfully said, but there's a glint in his eye that suggests he didn't just come here to flirt.]

I hear you been busy lately.

He didn't let you in...

[He sighs; Fu doesn't let people in. That means Greed is a good liar and Lan Fan needs to be at the door more often, because she's much stricter than her grandfather, Ling will shuffle some schedules, whatever. Greed is here! Hmm!

Sitting on his desk... very provocative!! He's focusing on the part where Greed isn't supposed to be here in the first place, of course.]

Sure, I'm usually busy.

[....oh.]

You really want to be my favorite, huh?

Well, yeah. What gave it away?

[That's rhetorical. Greed flashes him a grin.]

C'mon. You can take a break, right?

Not really, no!

[Baby boy, he has responsibilities. That's a grown up thing. But this conversation is probably leaning toward other grown up things, so he at least... puts the ledger down. It's still open and he could go back to working at any second--!!]

Well, make your case.

One, your subordinates talk too much, cuz it took me about five seconds to hear that you've been working since six, which means you've been up since about five. Two, you haven't eaten in ages, cuz I can hear your stomach from here.

[So, like, an hour.]

Three, I'm asking for an hour, not the rest of the day. And four, I bet it's been years since you've done anything with anyone where you didn't have to worry about politics or offending someone or giving something away.

So.

[He leans down, flipping the ledger closed.]

C'mon.

[Ah, his book. He simply looks down at it momentarily, then back up at Greed. Hmm...]

I do have snacks. [He had snacks. He's all out. And there's no defense for his chatty subordinates, so they're going on the discipline list as soon as he finds out which ones are yapping his schedule to anyone asking.

See that, Greed? Now he has more to do. He sighs.]

One hour. There's a lot to do before the end of the week...

Yeah, yeah. One hour won't kill you. [A beat, as he considers their line of work.] Or anyone else, probably.

[He hops off the desk and turns on his heel, bowing a little as he extends a hand.]

Come on. Your chariot awaits. Literally, you got the better ride than I do.

[Maybe it will!! Ling does not take his hand, but pushes back from his desk and stands. He's here, he's coming, let's go.

He has to drive? No, wait--]

Are you driving me around today? Don't tell Lan Fan.

[Follow him to his fancy car(s)!! Parked totally inconspicuously in the back lot.]

What, she controls your cars too?

[Hell yeah he's driving, how often does he get a chance to drive a fancy-ass car. And boy, what an array of choices . . . he finally settles on a Ferrari, settling in with clear delight.]

So? Where you wanna go? Restaurant? Coffee shop? Or just your place?

She gives me these looks... [This as he goes around to slide gratefully into the passenger seat. Has Ling ever actually driven his own cars? It's a mystery.]

I'm starving, [you know, now that he had to think about it,] Get us food first.

Please.

[He says it without thinking as he grabs the keys and starts the car. And it's a tease, yeah, but at the same time . . . he's still Greed's boss.]

[And Ling just looks at him while fiddling with his seatbelt; please? Please what? Please let Greed go home with all his body parts still attached? It's a mixture of honest confusion and offense on his face for a few seconds, and something else he isn't going to touch for now-- just how careful he has to be with this flirty whatever it is to keep Greed from really overstepping his bounds.

But the flirty thing is fun... Ling buckles the seatbelt and sits back, waiting, not saying please. Drive, little follower.]

[Ah. Well. . . . okay, then. That happened, and at least Ling didn't mess up his car by splattering Greed's brains all over it, so. That's good? He's gonna count that as a win as he pulls out and speeds down the street. At least there's no worry about wrecking the boss's car; he's actually pretty good at driving.]

It's gonna be a real one-sided relationship if I can't even joke with you before sucking you off.

[Noted: Greed really, really loves going incredibly fast in any way possible. Ling sputters out a laugh this time, at least, tilting his head to watch Greed drive his fancy car.]

I'm already too lenient with you. [This, feeding him off his own plate... Appreciate more subtlety, Greed.] At least let me find the line before you try crossing it.

[Because it's not sex, this imaginary line. They are certainly going to sleep together whether it's in this hour or another two weeks from now, because Ling is in the habit of taking perfectly good opportunities when they're presented to him this easily. They're attracted to each other, so it's pretty much a done deal.

But Ling's world is different from Greed's back alley gangster world, and they aren't professional equals, so there has to be at least some semblance of respect. He's working it out.]

Ahh, where's the fun in that?

[No, no, he's not stupid. He'll back off just a little, at least until Ling can set a few more boundaries. He won't stop mouthing off, of course, but-- well. There's a difference between doing it in front of people and when they're alone, right? Even Greed isn't stupid enough to bite back when they're in front of subordinates; Ling would have no choice but to cut him down, and Greed would think he was a fool if he didn't. But in private . . .]

I mean, c'mon, be honest: how long's it been since anyone talked to you without kissing your ass?

Ages! [He huffs it out with a hint of a whine. That's even more reason to let him work out the details first -- he hardly knows how to respond to anything casual anymore. As much as Ling tries to address his people as casually as possible, Xing syndicate traditions hold back all of them from responding to him in kind. "Sir" this, "Mr. Yao" that...

So he's walking a bit of a tightrope with Greed; his instinct is to dive right into this, let him be as friendly as he wants, but he can't. So. Little steps. He hums and looks out the window.

After a moment,] Don't get me wrong, I don't mind. But you know how these things are.

I guess. Though I think we can go a little easy when it's just you and me. I promise I'll still kiss your ass in public.

[Still, he's talking just to talk, not trying to pressure Ling into giving him an answer. They reach an American joint within ten minutes-- because yeah, Ling probably meant some Xingese place, but consider: he's the one driving. Besides, they ate egg rolls and dumplings last time.

It's time for a burger and fries. Maybe even a milkshake.]

Don't make a face. It's good.

[He's already making a face, this white boy, sigh... he'll eat a burger the size of his own head, sure, but he'd rather eat fifty dumplings and call it a night.

Still, he's not complaining, so Greed wins this round and they get out of the car without issue. Back, then, to the real subject at hand...]

Does that make you my dirty little secret?

Do you want me to be?

[He doesn't mind it. He's not in this entirely to be some mob boss' sex toy, but hey, he likes perks as much as anyone. And it's a good way to skip his way up the ladder, rather than slowly climbing it rung by miserable rung.]

Bow to you by day, fuck you at night, that kinda deal? Or maybe the opposite, given what kinda hours we usually work. I could live with that. Though I think the secret's gonna get busted pretty quick, given how notorious you are.

[It isn't a bad deal, as far as... pseudo-secret arrangements to be fuckbuddies go. Ling plays favorites and everyone knows that, so Greed is right-- anything that happens between them won't be a secret for long. Hell, they've already waltzed out a crowded building together for no reason other than Greed showed up uninvited and asked.

It could be a disaster waiting to happen. Ling's a little excited about that, honestly.]

You do have a point. There's nothing we can do about that, wouldn't you say? [Everybody Talks] That aside... I want to have a meal and get to know you better.

[Think of this as another interview, the sexy interview.]

[A sexy, sexy interview. He's been preparing for this his whole life. Aren't you attracted to his shitty sunglasses and copious amounts of leather?

Actually, he does look pretty good, if only because he'd known there was a reasonable chance they'd be flirting (if not fucking) tonight. So no sunglasses, no, and he's got on a nice tight shirt, so all in all, he's prepared.]

Yeah, all right. How bout a question for a question, huh? Like . . . you ever done something like this before?

the critically acclaimed open post

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i forgot i uploaded all these icons. soon: hair down icons

sweet christ

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