dumbshow | highly new, slightly improved open post

highly new, slightly improved open post

assorted morons

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU
☆ melodrama is ultimate tier
★ SHIPPING AND FUCC:
☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ things I am not into: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It isn't the enthusiastic yes one hopes to hear when their, uh... when the man they... look, it's not the answer he'd like, but it's one he understands. Enough nights spent holding tight to Jiang Cheng to give him some measure of comfort the way it's done for him mean he doesn't have to ask; it's not a passion for meetings and paperwork that call Jiang Cheng back to Lotus Pier over and over. Huaisang has heard what Jiang Cheng mumbles in the dark; the daylight doesn't change it.

But even a little while is worth celebrating, so he's smiling slightly when he says,] I know.

[And then, because people are most certainly already talking but that information might boil Jiang Cheng's brain--]

It's not unheard of to visit an old friend.

[He leans forward on his elbows, chin propped in one hand.]

I want to say "another two weeks," but my feelings for you can't wait that long.

[So let's Talk About Feelings.]

[To his credit, he doesn't immediately cut and run, so hooray for Jiang Cheng. But he does hesitate, just a little, his heart skipping in terror at the thought of something approaching feelings.

But he'll be an adult about this. Two weeks spent together means he's far more comfortable in reaching over the table and taking Huaisang's other hand, rubbing his thumb lightly against the back of his hand.]

These past two weeks have been . . . peaceful. Calm.

[He says it slowly, glancing down at their hands.]

And I don't want them to stop. I don't know . . . I don't know what feelings I have, but I know it's easier when you're there.

[Hmm, delicate... marry him at once. Huaisang gives his hand a light squeeze, encouraging; feelings are the worst topic in the world, he knows, but this is a good start.]

I don't know how long it will take me to get to sleep if you're not there.

[He chuckles when he says it, like it's a joke, but there's more than a crumb of earnestness in it. It is easier with Jiang Cheng there, like a balm to cover everything else about them that's still broken.]

Back then, before... I never wanted to stay at someone's side. [Not, like, for real anyway.] Now I want it to be yours.

[God. God, he just says thing like that, things that reach into the deepest, ugliest parts of him and make him shudder for how easily it's done. He has to glance down again, his fingers gripping him tightly.]

Don't say things like that.

[It's too much for his heart. It's too much for him to believe right now, after only two weeks-- but it's more than two weeks, isn't it? It's years. It's decades, now, and when had they gotten so old? But the point is: Huaisang knows exactly who he is. He knows, and somehow, impossibly, he's still saying that.]

You don't--

[God.]

Don't say such things unless you mean them, A-Sang.

[Huaisang picks his chin up off his hand, watching Jiang Cheng carefully as he looks away. Does he mean this? Of course he does, he's left all of his facades behind at his brother's grave, so of course he means this.

In fairness to Jiang Cheng, the abruptness with which he knows it, down to his bones, surprises Huaisang as well. But it makes sense, the two of them make sense— neither of them has ever had any reason to be someone else for the other's sake.

He wrinkles a few reports in his haste to push himself halfway to kneeling and lean across the table, hand cupping Jiang Cheng's cheek with a strange mixture of tenderness and certainty. Yes, a hundred times yes, he knows what he's doing.]

It's you, A-Cheng. Don't you think I know what I want by now?

[Of course he knows what he's saying; he's no fool, and he never has been. Careless, maybe, when they were children, but never foolish. Never nearly so helpless and uncertain as he'd pretended to be. Of course he knows what he's saying.

But it hurts to hear. Isn't that odd? Words he's craved so desperately all his life, words that he's lacked . . . it's like he was born with a hole in the midst of him, a gaping wound that he's grown used to bearing. Any kind of change to it, even to heal it, seems overwhelming.

What if you change your mind? Oh, how pathetic, but the terror has gripped his heart. What if Huaisang comes to his senses? What if he looks at him and finds that he's not good enough? Just like everyone, just like everyone, his mother and his father and Yanli and even Wei Ying, all of them looking at him and, if not deciding he was lacking, at least deciding he just wasn't good enough. And now Jin Ling is gone, and he can't, he cannot bear to gain and lose someone else, he just can't.

Or at least: that's how it feels. It isn't so coherent as that in his mind. Just a stark terror that leaves his heart thudding painfully in his chest, sweat springing suddenly on his palms, his face pale even as it's tipped up so impossibly gently.]

I barely know what I want some days.

[Which isn't a rejection. Just as much as he can manage before he darts forward, bumping their foreheads together, kissing him just once, his eyes closing.]

Stay at my side. Let me stay at yours.

[Huaisang doesn't say anything at first, heart pounding in his ears; Jiang Cheng has left him breathless, but not the way he has before, no, there's something more excruciating about this. It's ridiculous, he thinks, because to kiss him like that and say what he does is exactly what Huaisang wants, and that's—

Still, some part of him aches. Some part of him fights back against being vulnerable and close to anyone again, but Jiang Cheng isn't a liar, or a traitor. Jiang Cheng is like him, offering up this part of himself knowing full well that Huaisang could shatter it on a whim.

So he's quiet, tugging his other hand away from Jiang Cheng's to wrap both arms around his shoulders and bury his face against his neck. Alright— here they are. There are details to work out, how much time they can have that's truly theirs on top of the rest of their responsibilities, of course. Later.]

You can. I will.

[There, that's settled, at least. He can breathe a little easier, even if he isn't ready to let go of Jiang Cheng yet. So, again,]

Let's go to Qinghe. Just for a little while, I promise.

Yeah.

[He tries to think of all the things he has to do now if they're to depart in the morning, he really does. But his brain stutters once, twice, and then gives up on thinking of business completely for the moment. Huaisang is warm against him, and he buries his face against him, closing his eyes and gripping his robes tightly.]

Send the rest of your disciples back tomorrow. We'll leave in the afternoon.

[So they're close enough Huaisang isn't effectively abandoning his men, but on the other hand, it's not as if he'd be able to defend them much anyway. And this way, they can travel together on their own.]

You still remember how to make a camp, right?

[That's actually kind of teasing, as he pulls back to meet his eye.]

[How does it feel to be immediately dumped, Jiang Cheng? Or no, certainly not, but Huaisang still makes a face at him like he does not need this right now, damn!]

I remember when we were at Cloud Recesses and you told me I wasn't allowed to eat if I didn't figure out how to put up a tent.

[And he whined, and floundered for a while, and Wei Wuxian helped him put up his tent before claiming he needed to take payment for it and refusing to share his smuggled wine— You know, normal teen memories. He huffs, close to laughing, and noses against Jiang Cheng's cheek before kissing the corner of his mouth. A camping trip together... alright.]

Is that still your rule?

Mm, yes.

[He nudges the table out of the way, finally, just so he can shift forward and more or less pull Huaisang near to him. Not quite in his lap, but at least they can smooch without it being too awkward. And he can tug at the end of his hair lightly, just once.]

But if you're hopeless, maybe I'll give you some help.

[Wow, Sect Leader Jiang, how shameless. Huaisang settles in close to him anyway, dropping his arms to wrap around Jiang Cheng's waist instead, more comfortably. Any passing disciple can see this, but ask him to care... he simply does not.]

I'm a professional head-shaker, A-Cheng.

[Which, alright, Jiang Cheng can see right through him, but still!!]

I don't know how to put up a tent, I really don't...!

[In an instant both hands fly up, catching Huaisang's cheeks between his palms to stop him from shaking his head even a bit.]

You don't get to use that excuse anymore.

[Crisply stated. If they're going to make this work, that's the rule. He releases him, though not without a small Look.]

Ask me nicely on the road and I'll consider it.

[Surely there is a better way to impress this upon him— but alright, alright. He hums and puts his head down on Jiang Cheng's shoulder instead, not a shake in sight.]

I won't lie to you, A-Cheng. Never to you.

[He means it, so take that sincerity before a different, lamer kind of sincerity, because how often does his pampered ass go camping these days? Like never, ergo:]

I did forget how to put up a tent, though.

[Ah . . . and whatever else he was about to say is suddenly swept from his mind in a blissful, blank wave. His fingers smooth through Huaisang's hair, and he sighs softly.]

Ah-- that's fine. I'll-- yeah.

[Will that kind of straightforward affection always work to bowl him over? Honestly, probably.]

Cheater.

I don't know what you mean.

[Oh, but he does. He can be earnest and like this at the same time, so essentially Jiang Cheng is doomed.]

We should make preparations for tomorrow...

[But is he getting up? No.]

We?

[Buddy, there is one person who needs to make preparations here, you've got servants to pack your things. But he does need to talk to a lot of people and write several instructions down, so with a little huff he rolls his shoulder, pushing Huaisang off.]

Go wait for me. I won't be more than an hour or two.

[So cruelly dismissed... Maybe he wants to stand around watching his entourage pack up the, ah, guest room he's spent maybe all of 5 net hours in, in the past two weeks... It's remarkable that Jiang Cheng thinks people don't know about them.

But he sighs like it's the worst thing in the world to be told to go and be lazy, squeezing around Jiang Cheng's waist like maybe he won't— but he has to, and so he gets up at long last.]

Fine, fine. Don't take all evening.

[He's needy and he wants to cuddle, sue him. But alright! He'll wait!]

Edited (don't mind me there was a typo shh) 2020-03-29 05:27 (UTC)

[He tries not to take all evening, but it's not til late that he slips into his room and curls up next to Huaisang. It's fine. He makes it up to him, anyway, his mouth lingering at the crook of his neck, tongue teasing against the bruises he leaves there.

The journey to Qinghe only takes a few days, and god, but they're nice. It's nice to have a solid excuse not to think about anything related to work; nicer still the way they can just be instead of having to worry about things like reputation or deception. It's been so long since he's gotten to be anything but a sect leader.

One night he fends off a ghost or three; it's pleasantly athletic without threatening them in the least, and the way Huaisang eyes him afterwards is a bonus. Tonight-- one day away from Qinghe, if that-- he's caught them a fish for dinner. He even remembered how to debone the damn thing, a task he hasn't bothered to practice since he was twenty, so all in all: a successful trip and surprisingly effective ego boost.

Naturally, then, that he ruins it.

It would've been bad if it was him who twisted his ankle, but no. Of course not. Instead: he bumps into Huaisang, and it's him who steps wrong, whose ankle twists sharply, who falls with a pained cry-- and whose ankle is now swollen and tender, the skin heated beneath Jiang Cheng's probing fingers.]

It's not broken. Just tender for a while.

[Huaisang doesn't enjoy camping, frankly. As much as he enjoys Jiang Cheng, and as much privacy as being alone in a forest gives them compared to something reasonable like a comfortable inn, he can't say he's having the time of his life. Oh, yes, Jiang Cheng fending off a couple ghosts on his own is delightful in its own way, but Huaisang doesn't night hunt, and so he could really do without some of the more unsavory parts of this adventure.

He's upbeat, despite himself; it's nice to be together, simple as that, and to have an excuse to immediately drop every formality he'd have had to keep up if they stopped in some town on the way to Qinghe. It's... decent, at least until Jiang Cheng knocks him clean over, and he flinches and ineffectually hits Jiang Cheng in the shoulder with his fan when he pokes the tenderest part of his twisted ankle.]

I can't believe I have to limp all the way back to Qinghe.

[It's not that bad, but: uggghhh.]

You don't have to limp.

[What else can he do? And yet Jiang Cheng doesn't elaborate just yet. Instead: there's a faint glow at the tip of his fingers. He's far from a healer, but there's a difference between enormous feats of medicine and easing the ache in a sprained ankle. Can he actually do this in canon? God knows! We're saying yes.]

It's not that bad.

[That's very sweet, but since he isn't dying and milking his injury for all it's worth is tradition, hmm...]

It is! You know my golden core isn't as good as most!

[This is why you study in school: so that one day your very easy to understand core magic will circulate and help you heal or whatever. But also don't study in school because you will die young like your big brother. Hmm. Well, anyway.]

Will you carry me?

I don't have much of a choice.

[Just kidding, he was going to carry him regardless; it's literally the least he can do to make up for this. He scowls faintly, prodding at the ankle once more, like maybe there'll be sudden improvement.]

Just sit for a minute, all right? Maybe it'll get better.

[And if it gets better, he won't have to feel quite so guilty about ruining their night.]

[Well, it hurts, and pretty constantly... Huaisang has no intention of getting up to walk around anytime soon, but he's not such a whiner that he has to act like it's the end of the world. There's no one to fool! So instead he holds out one arm, gesturing for Jiang Cheng to come sit next to him.]

Keep me company, then.

[It's a good thing he calls for him: Jiang Cheng had honestly planned on storming off to work out his embarrassment on the tents or some such thing. Better that than just sitting and stewing in his (overblown) irritation at himself.

But he can't deny Huaisang a direct request, not now. So he sits, wrinkling his nose as he does. Should he apologize? Ah, but that's hard even for the simplest matters. So how to fix this?]

I can make us dinner soon. If you want.

[Huaisang leans against him the moment he sits; it's a little mean of him to push at Jiang Cheng's guilt like this, but he'll stop, he will! His ankle hurts and he wants to be held, genuinely and everything.]

Not yet. I can't concentrate on eating while it still hurts.

[How can he enjoy campfire fish with this terrible ache? This is serious.

...Then, okay,] It was an accident, A-Cheng.

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