dumbshow | incredibly indulgent shipping post

Second thoughts. [Paolo repeated, biting back a laugh of his own. Unsuccessfully, though, his shoulders shaking and his lips curving against Jindosh's. He couldn't help it, as he couldn't remember the last time he had so much.

As reluctant as he was to admit it, the man made his heart race, and... something more. Whatever it was, he hadn't felt it in so long that he was happy. Overjoyed. Elated. More words could describe this feeling, words he'd have to search for as he scanned the selections of Jindosh's libraries when he ultimately came back early or... or stayed.]

You think I could have second thoughts when you feel this good? [He leaned his forehead against Jindosh's, hovering his lips over his between labored breathing. He had to keep boosting his ego, as if stroking his dick with vigor weren't enough.] When you're all I can think about no matter how hard I try? I've tried, Kirin. I can't.

You don't have to lift a finger to make me lose a train of thought, and I hate it, because you're so damn smart about it... [And yet he was giving more material for Jindosh to make fun of him. Smart.]

[Ah—he'd only meant to get Paolo not to start fussing so much over his comfort that he stopped now, but stroking his ego and his anatomy at once is an interesting plan. His eyes widen a fraction, like he hadn't considered just how attached to him Paolo actually is. He hadn't, not really—not much beyond the fact that he'll do anything Jindosh says and how badly he's wanted to get him in bed all this time.

Beyond that has eluded him, either because he never bothered enough with feelings to know or because he knew just enough to ignore the obvious conclusion, out of fear and nerves. But now, well...] Bold words for someone in your position.

[Banging him, being a guest in his home? Something like that. Jindosh rocks his hips up again, shutting his eyes for a moment and sighing out his pleasure as he makes an effort to keep up with Paolo. Then his hand finds its way into Paolo's hair again, pushing their lips back together for a kiss.]

I have no intentions of stopping, [he says, voice low.] so you would do well to get used to it soon.

[That sounds... harsh, as always, and he can't articulate the feeling in his chest but maybe he can edge closer.] You've changed something, Paolo. I... [want him to stay? Too close.] I will even let you have that robe for when you stay the night.

[Paolo was drowning again. There was no other explanation for the tightness in his chest, or being so out of breath that he was kissing Jindosh like he was air. He was much deeper in the sea this time around, tide pulling him in again and again until he didn't have the energy to fight it anymore. It's what he got for going this far.

But the harshness doesn't make him regret wading out, especially not when it's followed by that. He expected he would get away with spending the night, but an open invitation? He chases his lips yet again to suppress the totally unrelated moan after it.]

I-I'd... [He takes a breath, lest he want to find himself stuttering again. At least the roll of his hips were more confident now, driving home with more force than the last.] I'd like that. Staying. I'll take care of it, I'll... [take care of you, he wants to say. But that is too bold.]

[Once again, Paolo goes to pieces over him, and Jindosh can only watch in muted wonder. There's the physical feeling, of course, and for as good as it feels to have Paolo over him, touching him, losing himself in him, Jindosh still feels distinctly more in control.

He wouldn't be if their positions were reversed, however, so he'll resist scorning Paolo and instead hold his head close, kissing at him between heavy breaths and the trembling movements of his hips he manages to meet Paolo's with. It's not a surprise at all that he likes hearing Paolo stutter over him, wants to unpack that tiny bit of vulnerability and discover whether he can see himself in there...

But at the same time Paolo has changed something, altered the rules of the game to make Jindosh's heart turn over at the sound of his voice, at the prospect of him really staying the night. It makes him nervous.

And yet he wants all of it, and not just because Paolo is making his whole body hot and trembling and wanting. So.]

I know you will. I'll hold you to that. [Another kiss, for emphasis,] You're mine.

I'm yours. [Paolo confirms, as if he really needed to. It's more of a reassurance to himself, that belonging to someone wasn't bad. He was his own for all this time, guarding himself, and now to give himself over to someone who showed no hesitation in inflicting pain?

Needless to say, spending the night was just as nerve-wracking to Paolo as it was Jindosh. But it's something he pushed to the back of his mind, to instead feel exhilarated at the prospect. It was easier to turn his mind off, to focus on the fact he'll be laying against him, to the way he allowed himself to tremble under him and actively pulls him down to lock lips. They didn't even have to kiss if he hadn't wanted.]

I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours... [He repeats, finishing each one with the brief kisses before he's biting down on Jindosh's lip. It was unintentional, hardly above enough to draw blood, but he sticks with it as his pace increases.]

[It was an itch to scratch, initially. Jindosh isnt cold or unfeeling—desire isn't something wholly unfamiliar to him, but this is more than the passing whim that he's ignored before. He thought it might be passing, that if he could take Paolo to bed once, he'd have satisfied that curiosity once and for all. And then he went and told him to stay and can't seem to stop kissing him, and Paolo has been under his skin for longer than he even realized.

So he's walked off some kind of cliff here, and as long as Paolo comes down with him, he'll figure it out eventually. He doesn't have to admit he's in too deep out loud. How could he, anyway, with Paolo kissing him again and again and giving himself to Jindosh in more ways than one, like he wants Jindosh's heart to beat out of his chest. His head is spinning; there are so many things he could say, declarations of his own to make that he could make, but Paolo is biting his lip and he can't think straight enough to speak even if he were able.

Then it's Paolo that his fingers curling in Paolo's hair are meant to say, Paolo when he tugs his hand free of being held to wrap both arms around him, Paolo when he tries to kiss him like this and groan into his mouth.

So, sex is alright.]

[Paolo had wanted Jindosh's heart beating out of his chest, but he'll settle for the fact he'd managed to silence a man that hardly ever stopped talking. He couldn't help but laugh over the fact, knowing it was unintentional, but it wasn't long before he ran his tongue over it to ensure it wasn't too hard.

Damn him for caring so much. But Jindosh— no, he was thinking of Kirin now, Kirin doesn't have to say his name to make him shudder with every action he took. Kirin is whose mouth he moaned into, whose body he took such care of. Kirin, Kirin, Kirin is what ran through his mind as he lost timing in his thrusts, becoming more erratic in favor of bringing him pleasure faster.]

Kirin... [Is what escapes his lips, said like he'd known him for much longer than they were familiar. Like he was the only thing he wanted in the world, like he was the only thing in the world. Karkacs was his life up until now, and Karnaca could wait.]

[There he goes, trying to take care of him again. Jindosh doesn't stop him, doesn't mock him for it, but it's all he can do to laugh in turn and press another kiss to the corner of his mouth. Paolo is sweet for a hoodlum, which isn't a thought Jindosh ever expected to have, but here they are. Paolo is sweet and he kind of likes it.

Well. More than kind of. But it's hard to focus when Paolo's control starts to slip, making him lose any brief shred of thought he was having about anything else. He's trembling again, holding tighter to Paolo and gasping. He's hot and cold at once, Paolo's body against his making him catch fire in a dozen places and the sound of his voice making him shiver—so much feeling, so much of everything.]

Paolo.... [He's drowning, he's definitely drowning. All of it is new and all of it (most of it—he will be sore later, but that's later) is good, and if he never has to let go of Paolo it will be too soon. The thought surprises him in its intensity, and he nearly says something else but loses it in another noise of pleasure. It isn't long before he comes with a muffled groan, squeezing around Paolo more tightly for how long it lasts before he relaxes.

Somewhat. Where does he look now, if not at Paolo's face with more emotion than he can handle? Soon all his fun neuroses will return...]

[Paolo watches him fall over the edge, as enraptured as he could be while he was still chasing his own end. For how easy he came to pieces under Jindosh's hands, one would think he'd follow shortly after. But no, he lasts throughout his name being said so sweetly, ffor better or for worse.

At least it gives Jindosh a view of his undoing. He removes the hand from his length to ball both fists in the blanket below him, driving his hips home with unrestrained groans and lower whispers of his name. He'd stoked the fires for him, but he hadn't cared to warm his own hands. And yet he was still worried about keeping Jindosh waiting.

He doesn't count how much time passes, he can't count if he tried, but it wasn't long before he tensed under the other man's hold. He met his eyes briefly as he came, before his muscles relaxed and he was leaning his head the hand in his hair to keep it up. The smile gracing his lips was a smile none-the-less, though, if a bit tired.]

I'm gonna... need a minute before I get those... clothes... [Of all things, it's what he remembers. It's more likely he's refraining from calling him beautiful again, but.]

[It's good that Jindosh is still lost in the moment here, because the snide comments he could come up with while more or less waiting for Paolo to get off would be stuff of legend if he could bring himself to speak. But he doesn't; he's content even, to keep his arms around Paolo and murmur his name a few times, relaxed enough by his own release to actually care about Paolo getting his. Which might have been a concern if he wasn't as invested in all this and Paolo as he is.

He's putting in enough effort to ignore the weird and awkward parts of sex, so Paolo can appreciate that. Now he can even look him in the face without glancing away in embarrassment, so he will, running fingers through his hair again and again with unmistakable fondness.

It is distinctly new and bizarre to have these feelings, but alright, he's rolling his eyes and shifting a little, relaxing his hold around Paolo's shoulders.]

One minute. [Like, he'll keep time.] One minute I can spare.

Exactly one minute. [Paolo chuckles and shuts his eyes, focused on the feeling of Jindosh's fingers through his hair as he caught his breath. Paolo does appreciate his patience, as the worries he shoved to the back of his mind were still worries. If he did something wrong, if he got boring...

He heaves a pleased sigh, leaning to kiss the inside of Jindosh's arm before he nudged it away. He knows he mustn't be serious about that minute, but he's still pulling out of him and sitting up like it was all he had.] Don't miss me too much.

[Was it him just following orders again, or did he just want to get it out of the way so he could get back in bed with him? Likely both, with how he's nearly tripping over himself getting out of it. He mutters something about it being "too damn low" before he's crossing the room to pick up things in the order he threw them. That stupid cravat.]

You... You serious about staying? [He asks it so casually, but the glance over his shoulder hints it was a greater concern that he'd like.]

[One minute... He'll keep count in his head because he can't help himself, to keep his mind off worrying about this, but he doesn't really care how long it takes Paolo to pick up his things. Maybe even a whole minute and a half can be spared.

But it's still a loss when Paolo gets up, Jindosh shifting on the bed to drag the blanket over his legs before giving up and watching Paolo move around. Be good to his cravat, thanks.

And... ah. He blinks at the question, raising an eyebrow like it's stupid to even ask. Does Kirin Jindosh lie? Hardly.]

Have you been paying attention? [Paolo!!] Join me before I change my mind.

[He... won't, but come here already.]

[Paolo pays attention enough that he's nearly tripping over the boots he was meant to pick up. He has a feeling Jindosh wouldn't just change his mind and send him home, but hearing it had him gathering everything in a rush none-the-less. He wasn't bending over backwards for him, he'd say. This was casual, he'd say.

Paolo would be in denial. He was good to his cravat, though, before it's unceremoniously dumped at the end of the bed with the rest of his things. He's not going to pay it much more mind, seeing as he's already climbing back in to join him.] Two minutes. Gonna kick me out?

[That's not where any of that goes... Jindosh frowns to this effect, but he's already offering Paolo his arm to get in close to him before thinking about it. Hush and come here.]

I may lecture you in the morning on the importance of efficiency and the perils of sarcasm. [Whatever will stave off the palpitations from Paolo spending the night...] And then perhaps I will teach you what a wardrobe is so that you may put my things away properly.

[Hmph. He's already... some kind of anxious, though, about Paolo staying. Is it excitement? Is he actually sixteen, and more exhilarated than he should be about lying next to someone else? It probably doesn't matter; what he wants now is to seek out Paolo's hair once more, run his fingers through it slowly while he thinks.]

I am thinking, [a pause. Hrm.] about what you have said tonight, and perhaps I will take more time to think rather than make an over-hasty decision, but considering the circumstances... Perhaps it would be best if tomorrow night, you did not come to lie on my operating table.

[Another pause. Wait, how does that actually sound—] But I will still expect you before sundown, unless you plan on aggravating my nerves.

[If he said "I like you," it would be too easy.]

[Paolo maneuvers himself to lie under Jindosh's arm, pulling the blanket so it would cover them both. He'd have to remind himself to bring his own-- No, no. He was already picking up things for any future encounters, he didn't have to go so far as to start invading the man's space... Yet.

He turns his head away from the bare mattress, moving to lay on his side with an arm across Jindosh. For now, he'll listen without interrupting, settling in and enjoying the fingers in his hair. Though his own curled at what he had to offer.]

... Y'know, [he starts, leaning his head on Jindosh's shoulder,] that kinda sounds like you enjoy my company without cutting me open. What've you come to, Kirin? [He has to get a little teasing in, since he knows he's in for it in the morning.]

[Jindosh scoffs, looking briefly at Paolo and then up at the ceiling. It's getting kind of crowded in here, with the two of them and Paolo's attitude. Jindosh tugs once on his hair, chastising.]

Consider it the next phase of my experiment, if you will. [the gay experiment. there was no first phase.] Do you want me to say it, Paolo? That I enjoyed the evening, and you?

[He hums, like maybe he won't. Or maybe he'll say no, it was awful, and rescind his pseudo-invitation.] Fine then: I did. And I do.

You don't h... [Paolo starts, but trails off as Jindosh hums. It's astounding how many shades of red his face has turned today, but to salvage his ego, it's only a tinted pink.]

I'm... uh, glad. I'm glad. [He cleared his throat, dragging his hand up his chest to take and turn Jindosh's chin. Look, a kiss without any desire for more. Maybe he's not just horny.] Maybe I'll come by for lunch. Or breakfast... [or not leave at all.]

[Jindosh smirks as Paolo trails off and stumbles over his attitude, now. That's what he thought—at least he still has more experience in taking people by surprise with words.

But then a kiss, and one that isn't trying to climb on top of him again. His smirk turns into a look of thoughtful consideration, after that. Breakfast, lunch... it would be hard to miss the implication.]

In the morning... Decide then.

In the morning. [He repeated against his lips, going back in for another kiss. He felt around for Jindosh's hand, taking up the ceramic to take one last drag of the evening.

He blew the smoke away from Jindosh's face for once, threading their fingers together as he laid his head on his chest.] And they say I'm not lucky...

[In the morning. Jindosh wonders how many "mornings" he can push real decisions back to, while he sorts himself out. Even now, Paolo's small gestures of affection feel like almost too much. He hums again instead, curling his other arm a bit more around Paolo like simple proximity to him will ease how much he doesn't know what he's doing.

Which it might. So.]

Hmm. Wait— [wait!!] Who is it that says you aren't lucky? You cheat death daily. What kind of standard for luck are they hoping for?

[He's offended, this doesn't make sense!!!!]

[Paolo blinked, then shook his head with a laugh and brought Jindosh's fingers up to his lips to kiss as he thought on it. He could get used to this, just giving affection instead of going to smoke cigars to keep his mind off the gravity of things.]

I didn't say they were smart. It is the Abbey, and... some other dumb fucks. Politicians, as it so happens. [He finally says, brushing his thumb over the ceramic's little details.] You don't get a face like this being the luckiest choffer in the city. So they're right. In some ways.

[Jindosh scoffs as if to say Oh, them. He should have known better—politicians and the Abbey are even more pointlessly offensive!! Mostly the former.]

Useless, simpering morons. Anyone born with a silver spoon in his mouth thinks he has a right to the highest seat he can find, no matter how empty his head is. [Jindosh stops playing with Paolo's hair just long enough to wave his hand in a small, dismissive gesture before working his fingers in again.] The era of luck will end sooner rather than later.

[The Empress melting his brain can't change his mind on this. He could probably write another book.]

As for the Abbey... well, it's typical of the intellectually incapable to fear the unknown, so I pity them more than anything else.

I don't. They don't deserve pity. [Paolo's jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed, but he made an effort not to squeeze down hard on his hand. Someone's bitter.] Killing too many people just trying to get by. Feeding their kids, their...

[He took a deep breath, focusing instead on the fingers back through his hair.] The most you gotta worry about empty-headed pigs is that they kill each other. And that's a good thing. Dunno how you worked with Luca...

[Ooh, bitterness. Jindosh raises an eyebrow at the ceiling, shifting to gaze down at Paolo's head on his chest. He's into bitter.]

You say "deserve pity" as if it's a good thing. [Just saying. Pity isn't charity, babe.] As for the Duke, I wouldn't call it "working with"...

[Except. For that one time. Whatever.] I'd rather spend his money than mine, more or less. Although I wonder if he'll have a change of heart, the way he has with so many other things lately.

[Pity is definitely charity, excuse you. Paolo scrunches his nose, but chooses not to argue it. He'll keep the fact that "pity" was going crazy in his basement another day.]

He's had a change of heart with a great many things. Says he finally has Karnaca's interest at heart, with guidance from the "great Emily Kaldwin." [He rolls his eyes, looking out at the view the balcony had to offer.] She ain't done shit for us. Neither of them. You know who's been taking care of this city? Me. Stilton. Ours friends. Not some little girl on a throne.

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