dumbshow | 2023 open post

2023 open post

assorted blorbos

☆ @ the muselist | best chance w/ the following:

optional prompts/ideas

☆ soulmate prompts generator
☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates, reincarnation, Bad End, canon divergent/roleswap, crossover, super indulgent high fantasy, Westworld (robits), arranged marriage, throw me some ideas!!!
★ SHIPPING AND NSFW:
☆ non-fluffy ship types that slap: codependent, master/servant or similar arrangements, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ hard nos: noncon, tsundere if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, teacher/student, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea lmao
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

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1. Meet Cute

In a city you know quite well, a sudden downpour has forced you to take cover under an storefront awning. Perhaps this fills you with annoyance, or perhaps you are simply content to wait out the rain -- but as you stand there watching the rain, you find yourself with company. A young man, cursing softly to himself while he holds a green jacket over his head, scurries under the awning; perhaps you're not normally one to notice the clothes and looks of other people (or perhaps you are! There's nothing wrong with being a bit of a clothes horse ;3) but as the young man fixes his clothes and hair, it occurs to you that he's young, fresh-faced, and perhaps...Not entirely from around here?

2. An Astonishing Coincidence

Maybe you were just passing the time, or perhaps something about this young man charmed you, or maybe you were secretly teasing him. But at some point after he's told you his name (Shen Something, wasn't it? Shen Yuan, or Shen Luguang, or maybe even Shen Qingqiu?) but before the rain's entirely let up, he mentions that he's come to this city pursuing a job -- in fact, he's answering a help wanted ad from someone you know! Perhaps it's a domineering parent, or a busybody sibling, or even your own employer or liege lord! Regardless this person seems to be seeking a personal assistant, and Shen Whoever is supposed to meet them in person for the very first time today!

How does this make you feel? Will you be nice and help Shen Whoever make his appointment? Or will you laugh and bid him good luck. You won't...surely you won't try to sabotage him somehow! ...Will you?

3. Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!

Well, assuming you didn't sabotage that poor man (though it's not necessarily the end of the story if you do: the multiverse is infinite, after all, and there are endless paths to love, uwu) the next time you see your brother (or lord, or parent, or employer!) it will be together. Either you'll enter together or you'll come in on the two of them talking; either way that person who thinks they're the boss of you will be surprised and suspicious when they realize you already know each other -- but once you've explained the situation they'll nod thoughtfully, and finally say, "It's definitely not what I'd planned, but this might work out even better. It's good that you two seem to like each other, anyway; spouses are supposed to get along --"

Wait a minute, did they just say spouses??

What the heck???

People come and go from the house all the time; it's nothing particularly new for Huaisang to see strangers at the gate, or milling around waiting for da-ge to see them at long, long last. He minds his own business, which most days is coming and going as he pleases, as well - so really, there's nothing to suspect at all when the weather sours so suddenly and a cultivator he doesn't recognize in colors he only kind of can place to a sect is caught in the rain and ducks into the shelter of a pavilion. The exchange is brief, only a stock-standard apology for the brazen intrusion- as Huaisang obviously looks like someone important to this particular manor- and Huaisang's own fluttering reassurance, some small talk, just until the rain lets up—

It's all very ordinary. People come and go all the time; this young cultivator must surely be an envoy from his sect sent to fill some need of their own sect, some rank and file paper-pusher position with a lot of paperwork that will, through politics and obscure exchanges and the Powers That Be (which, again, are mostly politics), help his own family.

The rain eventually stops; they part ways. Huaisang continues about his business, which is some artful wandering and loitering, and still thinks nothing of it when he enters da-ge's meeting chamber and the young cultivator is still there. Well-- because of the rain, of course, or surely this meeting would have ended before Huaisang barged right in, which is surely why da-ge is giving him a Look over his abrupt entrance, and--

Spouses?

Hm?

Huaisang looks over his shoulder, and then just in case, looks over the other shoulder as well. Who, him? Him, Nie Huaisang, a spouse? That's ridiculous. He shoots the other young man- Shen something, right, right- a look of his own, brow furrowed to convey that he too is absolutely blindsided by All This, and then addresses his brother:

"Da-ge, are you sure?" And like he's living on another planet, Nie Mingjue says something about how of course he's sure spouses are supposed to get along, and Huaisang can feel the conversation press down on his shoulders. Please, da-ge, just go...

"My brother is very busy," he says instead, to Shen... Shen. No. Shen Luguang, that was it. "Now that he's done his duty as sect leader, he's going to go."

"This is my office, you know," Nie-zongzhu grumbles, but his little brother's obvious displeasure plus whatever Shen Luguang's face is currently doing, he's not sure what (he has in fact gone pale enough that he could pass for the victim of a stabbing) is bad enough to melt even his famously stony heart, for he grunts and pushes himself to his feet.

"Don't try to bribe him into leaving or chase him off, Huaisang," Nie-zongzhu growls as he passes his brother on the way to the door. "This is for your own good. I'm thinking of your future." He doesn't slam the door by any means, but the sound of it clicking shut is still somehow loud enough to make Shen Luguang jump. He isn't handling this well at all, he's afraid, and it embarrasses him on top of everything else. He shoots Nie-gongzi a frantic look and immediately drops into a deep salute.

"Nie-gongzi--! Please believe I had no idea this was coming, when we spoke earlier...I thought Nie-zongzhu wanted to hire me as a secretary!," he nearly wails, and then jumps again when Nie-zongzhu calls through the door.

"You can do that too!" he bellows. "You've got good, legible calligraphy, better than my brother's willowgrass!"

The interaction between the Nie brothers is, at the best of times, a little weird; there's not exactly a push and pull between them, it's all Nie Mingjue's stomping about and insisting he knows what's best no matter how loudly Huaisang protests, but at least it isn't like that right now. It's still tense, the way Huaisang's face is fixed in a perfect public-facing smile, and he doesn't so much as glance at his brother as Mingjue snarls at him about his future and how he's sooooo wise on the way out.

Tense. His grips is too tight around his folded fan, and he releases it to tap against his opposite palm, slowly at first and then much more quickly, tap tap tap taptaptap-- as soon as the elder brother leaves. It's almost as if he's forgotten Shen Luguang is there, but he hasn't, really—! It's simply the overwhelming annoying presence of his brother's bad attitude that takes a few moments to process out of his system.

He turns to manage the other man when he sounds like he's going to pass out on the spot, just sort of reaching helplessly for his shoulders to, like, ground him? Maybe? Keep him upright? Which means that he's trying his damnedest to keep Shen Luguang calm and conscious when Nie Mingjue interrupts, and he can't help but turn his head to snap back at the closed door:

"Coming from a man who writes like the paper insulted him! Leave, da-ge!"

Okay, there, da-ge hopefully dealt with for maybe an hour or two. He turns back to Shen Luguang, squeezing his shoulders... this is his only move, so he diverts and gestures for them to perhaps... sit? Sitting would be good?

"Stomping all over other people's plans is just like da-ge," he says, after a pause. "I'm blaming da-ge for this! Watch me blame da-ge! You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm glad to hear it," Shen Luguang says weakly. Having already collapsed onto the divan like a dropped doll, he decides that his dignity is already so reduced that letting himself bury his face in his hands and take several deep breathes so he doesn't faint or something won't make any difference. And he does feel better afterwards, better enough that he's able to take a mental review of the last several months of correspondence and let out a quiet laugh that's only half hysterical at most.

"He asked me so many questions about my family and our cultivation," he says, shocked and still processing it all. "I thought he was just making sure I'd fit into his household, even though I'm not a martial cultivator...I never suspected..." Hm, nope, not continuing that train of thought. There are certain things everyone expects to happen, a few months or years after a marriage, but he's not going to think about them right now. Or hopefully ever, at all.

"But you were surprised too!" he changes the subject, turning to stare at Nie-gongzi wide-eyed. "He never, all those letters, for months, and he never said anything to you? Who does that?"

A moment's pause to make sure he doesn't sense the presence of any pushy sect leaders beyond the door still, then Huaisang finally sits down himself. At least Shen Luguang doesn't pass out; he doesn't know how he'd explain that one away, even if da-ge would be the one at fault for that. Hmph.

He flicks his fan open and closed, open and closed, open-- then holds it up in front of his face to sigh loudly behind it, at the mention of whole months. Months! Da-ge, for months, did this ridiculous thing? In any other circumstance he might be impressed that da-ge managed to keep a secret for that long, but then again--

"Thinking back, he probably thought I knew," he has to admit, lowering the fan to look grim about his brother's idea of effective news-sharing. "Not long ago, he asked me to have measurements taken for new clothes, but I never saw them..." They must be red. And Mingjue must have just assumed Huaisang would psychically know what was going on, despite only ever having half a conversation with anyone else about this, it seems.

Frankly, this is why neither of the Nie brothers married sooner, he's certain of it. Mingjue is impossible, and he's-- related to Mingjue. Mmph. He lets out a huff and bows his head behind the fan again, exasperated.

"I don't know what he's thinking, ever...! Sincerely, I'm sorry about him!! I didn't think he would do something so brazen!"

"It's certainly not your fault either!" Shen Luguang rushes to assure him, and goes to pat Nie-gongzi on the hand just like he would a friend or his younger sister -- before remembering all over again that this isn't a peer or a family member, this is technically his fiance, and locking up like a bad clockwork. He awkwardly tucks his hand back into his lap and clears his throat, saying glumly, "My brothers are going to throw a fit when they hear about this..."

Oh god, they really will too, he realizes belatedly, and turns pale all over again. Da-ge might be willing to let the whole thing as a misunderstanding, but if er-ge decides to make a thing out of it --! He's always been over-protective, and so fucking proud of their family name even though they aren't part a sect, they're just merchants who've managed to keep a few techniques alive over time...Or rather they're merchants now, but if word gets out that they've decided to pick a fight with the Nies, of all the Great Sects...

"Maybe...maybe we don't tell my brothers about this," he suggests weakly.

"Of course," Huaisang says, instantly, heedless of any well-deserved awkwardness either of them may be feeling about this abrupt Arrangement. Shen Luguang doesn't want his brothers to know something? Absolutely not, then, Huaisang is ready and willing to be an accomplice to this. It may not come as a surprise, after meeting Nie Mingjue, just how strictly Huaisang keeps to the code of keeping things from older brothers. Sure, yes. Tell them nothing.

Well, maybe something. He twirls his fan idly, thinking about it - da-ge is, well, unreasonable at best, so at least for now Shen Luguang is stuck plodding around their house? Which gives them time to think of a perfect ruse, if he's going to be optimistic about it. He's an expert in lying to brothers by now; his own, and far less seriously, the sheer number of times he covered for Wei Wuxian back during their school days... lying to brothers is easy.

But they should probably not orchestrate any schemes in da-ge's own office, where he's definitely posted someone outside the door. Huaisang snaps his fan shut with a flourish and stands, darting not to that door but to a screen in the back of the room, behind which lies another door, one that leads further into the house, and so surely da-ge wouldn't put someone there as wel-- nope there's someone there too. Okay.

Window it is. He heads for the desk, behind which is, well, the window. It's big and elaborate to look impressive for visitors, which means it's the ideal size for someone to clamber right out of it, and that is the plan. Huaisang turns back to Shen Luguang, hand held out, waiting. He looks very cool and heroic, an image that will be put to bed the moment he trips on his own robes when they get outside. But for now!!

"I'll help you, but not somewhere da-ge is prowling around. Let's go, let's go!"

"But where are we going -- oh! Be careful!" Although he managed to keep his voice down, he can't hold back a small cry of surprise when Huaisang stumbles, and quickly stretches his arms out to catch him. He keeps a hand on Huaisang's arm until they've both got both feet on the -- dirt, in the flower bed, oh dear.

"Nie-gongzi," he whispers, leaning closer to avoid being overheard. "It's not that I'm not grateful, but won't you get in trouble if we're caught sneaking around?"

[very like the trench to kill you then make you chose a door like a bad gameshow. viktor's still unclear about the whole dying thing, runs a hand over his face and just sort of lets it go. something to figure out later, preferably with less drama. he feels bad that pal will have to deal with rio moping but-

well, pal is here too. he blinks, looking to his husband.] Do you have any idea how we died?

[asked very casually, because he doesn't see the point in getting frothy about it. he just leans against his cane, back to a doorway that slowly flares to life. it seems to lead to a hallway, and out the window of that hallway is a grand, shining sort of city, airships and tall brass. one pal knows vaguely now from dream sharing, from memories, from viktor lying beside him and trying to describe it. poorly, the man is not the writer of their union.

there's that underlined understanding looking upon the door that this is a glimpse, a visit, trench bullshit as per usual.]

[Well at least it's been a while since he randomly died, Palamedes thinks. This one he finds to be-- marginally less traumatic, if only because he wakes up seemingly a few moments later, and Viktor is here and being kind of bored about it. Palamedes shrugs, looking down at himself and then up and down Viktor to see if there are any overt Signs... of Bullshit...]

No idea. Chalk that up to "it's Tuesday," I suppose. Is it Tuesday?

[Does It Matter, in Trench, no. But since this is Tuesday's brand, he simply turns to the view as well, blinking in only mild surprise. He does recognize the skyline of Viktor's questionable home; he wonders what they're supposed to do with the sights this time.

And also, since this is usually not,] Is it real?

[the fact neither of them seem horrified, traumatized or in any sort of abnormal pain eases any further concerns. so, trench bullshit. that was better than if they got torn apart by something and now have to live with the memory of what it's to have their entrails chewed on.]

Our combined ability to remember the day of the week is concerning. [said like he isn't concerned. who cares about keeping track of time, they had shit to do. his eyes run over the door though, lips thinning.

he lifts his cane to tap the frame. it is indeed solid.] My working theory is it will feel real at the very least. If it is actually a portal to my world... I doubt it.

[also where's the door to the sixth? viktor thinks the trench is being PA to pal again. again, a regular tuesday.]

I'll buy you a desk calendar.

[Ha ha. It will have trite little aphorisms on it, and everything! Look forward to it. Then when neither of them remember to change the date anyway, it will come full circle.

But to business: they're not squids, so it's a net positive in the death department, and additionally, makes it much easier to scurry around Piltover. Palamedes hums and tilts to one side, to peer around the door frame and see more extravagant skyline in the distance. He's never actually been to the Third, but it's always soooo Third here. Which means it's time to offend some rich people.]

Will it feel real enough to see your old lab? I've been deprived.

[Field! Trip! Please, look at his big nerd eyes.]

Be sure there are agonizing pictures of nauseating quotes of the day on it. [please, he'll hate it. he embraces that hate and expects nothing less from pal.

he glances to pal when he suggests that, expression going fond then amused. the idea of pal in piltover? in the academy? seeing the archives and how form and extravagance often trumped function? nothing would make viktor's day more. it'll be like hearing pal's opinions on nevermind for the first time all over again.

that and sharing his old life with pal appeals to him for sickeningly sentimental reasons.] There is only one way to find out. I do owe you a tour.

[he offers his arm, of course, and will walk confidently enough into that maybe real-maybe not world. the air without even the faintest hint of blood or whatever scent comes with blood pollution and corruption strikes him first. not unlike the first time coming up out of the zaun smog to breath fresh air.

they're in a long hallway, academics bustling this way and that, glancing over at their very odd manner of dress but enough recognizing viktor to look away again. not as snobbish as it gets but pointedly more snobbish than any place in the trench.

once it annoyed him, now it makes viktor snort.] Welcome to the Academy. They seem to be able to see us, that will be fun.

Of course. Pictures of fields, or something. With platitudes abound. I've not considered too many of the calendars in the shops in town, but that's about it, right?

[On the Sixth, their calendars are bones or something. Who knows, definitely not fields though. In any case, he is openly delighted about the sudden option of getting a whole tour! Is that rock that makes things float around? Can they float around another lab? He'll get there.

But first, naturally taking Viktor's arm and looking around curiously as they head down the hall, only really clocking that people are reacting to them when Viktor points it out. That's! ...Odd. And a first barring weird dream logic, which merits some further study, for sure. In a bit.]

Time to terrify the wildlife? [hahaha. but actually yes.] Tell me how to ruin their days, and I'll do it.

[These might not be the real, sentient versions of snobs who treated Viktor poorly, but like, it's the little things.]

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2023 open post

How to Get a Boyfriend in 24 Hours or Less

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viktor and pal | we do what we want door event edition

door event: cool version

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