dumbshow | highly new, slightly improved open post

highly new, slightly improved open post

assorted morons

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU
☆ melodrama is ultimate tier
★ SHIPPING AND FUCC:
☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ things I am not into: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

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[He won't. He might think about it, but he won't.]

A great deal of elemental damage. And--

[. . .]

It sets off my markings at random, without my say-so.

[Does this mean he just suddenly drops through furniture without warning? It definitely does.]

[...Haha, oh wow.]

If I hear any bumps in the night, I won't ask.

[Assuming that either of them actually sleeps tonight, which he is sure isn't going to happen unless he straight passes out. He doesn't even want to think about the possibility of a good night's sleep because he will knock out right here on the floor, and while he mostly trusts Fenris not to rip out his heart while he's still useful, he doesn't want anyone else to catch them unawares.

However, besides sleep...]

You have money for a room. Why don't you get us some actual food? [He's hungry and he wants real bread!!] I'll... show you how to light a candle, or something.

You can teach me how to stop this damned thing from interacting with my lyrium.

[Or candle lessons, either/or. But ugh, fine, food, that's as good an idea as any, and he stands with a scowl.]

Give it thought.

[And in the meantime, he'll get them . . . whatever food they have on offer, to be honest. Bread, cheese, and sausages, likely, that's the usual fare in these kinds of places. What's a vegetable, we just don't know.]

I— I'll think on it.

[He doesn't know what to do about that, actually; that is well beyond his areas of expertise, but maybe he'll come up with something. In any case, it's a relief to be left alone again, even if it's just to sit on the floor in someone else's room. The anxiety of being in town and being with Fenris are, hmm, the worst combination! Wow!

It occurs to him, as he leans his head back against the wall and stares at the ceiling, that he could leave. He could spirit himself away right out the window, and Fenris would probably find him again, but at least he could say he'd done it.

But he doesn't, and he's sitting cross-legged with his little pack in his lap, rooting through it when Fenris and the Hearty Food return. Don't look now but he's hunting for another hair tie.]

...You should start with the candle.

[Of course he should. If nothing else, control requires mastery; avoiding learning the basics will help no one.

But he can avoid it for a little longer, at least. Long enough for him to set the food on the floor between them and settle down there himself, a process that he draws out as long as possible. Then the candle, also set between them, because trying fire magic near the wooden floor is a super great idea.]

Any advice?

[Beyond, like, try not to set yourself on fire again.]

[Oh, and once again, they're doing this right now, huh. Anders looks at him for a moment, brow furrowed, then sets his pack aside and reaches for a piece of bread instead. Hair tie waits until he's got food in him, but hm - magic tips. Fenris has given him food and not called him anything nasty for a good half an hour, so he will cooperate.]

Concentrate, [he says, holding his other hand out over the candle. He's going to do this with one hand and eat bread with the other, but like, beginners have to concentrate.] In simplest terms, you have to pull the magic toward you and tell it what to do. Then—

[He flicks his wrist up once and the candle lights, easy as lying. Tada. Just do exactly that, first try please.]

[He glares at the candle after he blows it out, as if the wick has done something to offend him. Concentrate, Anders says, and he is, both hands outstretched, but he's also focusing on the fact he's doing this at all. That he, Fenris, is willingly and eagerly trying to do magic. That he has magic at all, that this is his life now, that he's here trying to master it just like his sister--

It's really more of a blaze than a single flame, shooting up past both their heads. Fenris flinches, glancing up sharply at the ceiling, but no-- the candle is burnt halfway down, but at least he didn't set the ceiling on fire. Fantastic!]

Shit!

[Wow. Anders isn't shocked by any means, especially not after the tent; he set a whole barn on fire when he was a boy, to say nothing of how many magical mishaps he'd seen from children at the Circle over the years... Maybe that's it, maybe Fenris struggling to do magic is just reminiscent enough of those children years ago that he doesn't scoff or roll his eyes.

He does take the plate of food, slide it closer to himself, but that's for the food's sake, really. Let him eat some of this cheese...]

That's not what happens when you concentrate. [Just saying.] Try not to think about how much you hate every mage you've ever met while you're doing it. Before you alert the whole inn that a fugitive apostate and whatever you count as now are playing with magic up here.

[Chill out, not that Anders has ever chilled out in his life himself, but chill out.]

I'm not--

[Whatever. Fenris exhales harshly and focuses back on the candle. Both hands, his fingers outstretched, glaring at the cooling wax. Which isn't concentrating either, damn it . . .

He closes his eyes. Takes in a breath, tries to think about nothing but flames. Fire. willing the fire into being, using his magic (and he hates that it is his magic, that he can feel it thrumming in his veins, that he instinctively twists something within him like that to produce--

--ice, crystalizing on the hissing wick and his fingertips both, and Fenris sits back with a frustrated growl.]

This is pointless.

[Bud, you tried two times. But it's impossible to clear his mind, never mind concentrate. Instead, he reaches over to grab some bread.]

Oh— [Oh, a little too delighted, like he's talking to a child but in the particular way that he would at the Circle, kind of proud. He puts more food in his mouth immediately, before he says something ridiculous like You did it! to Fenris of all people, but listen: he did do it.

Anders sits back and focuses on the food, then, while Fenris sulks. Objectively this must be... hard for him, Anders knows that, but he still finds it difficult to empathize with, mm, the particular hate for every mage to ever live and say anything encouraging about the candle quite yet.]

Well, I'm quite good at fire, so it evens out.

[Chew....... that's the best he can do, bud. It's this or casual disdain.]

[His head snaps up at that delighted little exclamation, absolutely unsure if it's genuine or mocking. He can't read it, and so decides on the latter, because why wouldn't it be mockery? Except it hadn't sounded like it, so . . . hm. Best not to think about it.

There's a long few moments of silence, ostensibly dedicated to eating, before he says:]

Much as it may shock you, my thoughts don't linger on how I hate every mage.

[Not right now, anyway. No, his thoughts linger closer to home. He doesn't . . . it isn't hating himself, but perhaps hating this part of himself. Hating the fact he has to even acknowledge that it is a part of himself. He'd ignored the implications of the lyrium in his skin, how much it forced him into being magic already, never mind this.

His head tips up, his eyes darting over Anders' face.]

Did you ever resent it?

[Anders gives him a look, eyebrow raised, less disbelieving and more wondering what Fenris would like him to think he thinks about, given what the majority of their interactions have been like since they met. They've known each other for how many years? It isn't as if Anders has put in the effort to be Fenris' friend, either, so it's more of a... fact, that he wouldn't know what's on Fenris' mind, anyway.

Whatever. He makes another face down at his food, a touch irritated. Irrationally, perhaps, but it's now that Fenris wants to talk about this... Fine.]

No. This is who I am.

[There are tertiary things he resents: the Chantry, of course, the templars, his father— but his own magic? No.]

Sometimes I resent having to keep telling everyone else that not every mage is a horrible hive of demons. Danger this, evil that, mages mages mages... I can usually fix that, though, by feeding a few stray cats. Or writing a manifesto.

[This is about one-half joke.]

[Of course not. Of course not, and Fenris doesn't know what he expected. He ought to be irritated at himself, but instead finds himself vaguely disappointed.]

You can get the food tomorrow, then.

[A half of a joke back.]

Is that all you've done these past few years? Feed cats and write pamphlets?

What, did you want me to do more?

[Shall he trek off to find the nearest Chantry? It might be a bit of a hike from this nowhere town.]

I do what I can where I'm able. For the mages, I mean. You know what it's like to need to keep a low profile sometimes, although most of us keep our heads down in tents in the woods.

[Sigh!]

It was a good tent.

It was a tent. You needn't mourn it. I hardly meant to set the damn thing on fire.

[He will never feel guilty about the tent.]

And it was a question, not a critique. I've heard rumors about you for the past few years; I wondered how true to life they were.

I only had one tent!

[Show some respect, thanks. This is a real grievance and he won't give it up, but- ah. Aha. He sits back, plucking at a bread crust. Hmm--]

In any case, that depends on which rumors you heard. I made most of them up to see what would stick. The one about taking on a whole army of darkspawn got especially popular before I left the Free Marches.

[Which is clearly ridiculous, because Fuck Going To The Deep Roads, but it makes him sound very cool and badass, so he'll allow it.]

[Despite himself, he snorts. Even he knows that Anders wouldn't go to the Deep Roads willingly, so frankly, anyone who believes that is an idiot.]

I had a difficult time even pinning you down. There's rumors you fled to-- oh, everywhere, all at once. From Seheron to the Anderfe--

[Oh my god he literally just realized that Anders from Anderfel is probably not his real name. Either that, or he had the stupidest parents alive, and honestly, who knows? He won't point it out just yet-- after all, he's no stranger to renaming oneself-- but still.

Things you only realize after, like, a decade of knowing someone. Goddamn.]

. . . in any case. I heard you had stolen a ship with the remnants of Kirkwall's Circle and crossed the sea. Whether you were acting as pirate or merely escaping depended on who was telling the tale, though I had a hard time believing either.

[Possibly because the whole thing sounded just a little too much like Isabela's tales for Fenris to buy it.

Honestly, in the end, he tracked him not through rumor, but simple word of mouth: tales of a healer mage who wouldn't take payment nor stay for long, but whose work was particularly good. It was his kindness that was his downfall, and Fenris really doesn't know how to feel about that-- especially since most of those helped were those who'd never see the attentions of a healer otherwise.]

[Oh? To the where? Don't worry, he can hear that moment of realization, but there's no reason to talk about his name now - it was decades ago, anyway. He only raises an eyebrow briefly, because ah yes, the pirate rumor. An old classic.]

I might have embellished the swashbuckling, in fairness. I'm better at stowing away than stealing a whole ship.

[He shrugs; it worked, didn't it? It took Fenris this long to find him, and Fenris (kind of, sort of) knows him. Anyone else who might have pieced together who he is and what he's done has never spoken about it, or at least, hasn't to anyone who'd come down on him for it— likely those same people in need of a healer who weren't going to get to one somewhere else.

So: he does what he can, where he's able. It's not enough, even Kirkwall wasn't enough, but it's... steps.

He sits back, reaching for his pack again to find that hair tie.]

Shall we try the candle again?

[He'd really rather not, frankly, but it has to get done sooner or later.]

Show me again.

[It's not a problem with his hands, but who knows? Maybe it'll help.]

[After he gets his hobo chic hair tied back, hold on--]

If I had any of my books, this would be easier. Too bad fugitives can't keep bookshelves, huh?

[Haha... no, okay. Hair tied, now back to the candle; he picks it up, removing the ice that hasn't melted off by hand so nobody gets fussy about him casually doing basic magic twice in a row. It's a much smaller candle now... sigh...

Anyway, it's the same concentration and gesture as before, candle lit and flickering a moment later despite the wick being iced over, and everything.]

Don't fight with the magic. Let it come to you.

[He could grumble about how impossible an instruction that is. Actually, he could fill the rest of the evening with snarled, sullen comments, some of them more valid than others. But complaining, while cathartic, won't get things done.

It's a candle. Anders can do it with one hand. And despite all his protesting, despite his self-loathing, despite his very real resistance to delve into this world--

--well, he does know something about how to let magic course through his veins. He'd never be able to control his tattoos otherwise.

It still takes a while. But the flame, when it appears, is small and bright, just as it should be. Not a blaze, but a simple spark. He isn't proud, how could he bear to be, but at the same time . . . he relaxes a touch, satisfied for at least a moment.]

There.

[They could argue, Anders has a few rants ready to go about how it's hard to teach someone something he's been able to do almost as long as he can remember— children understand acting on instinct better than adults, it seems, at least when it comes to magic. Look: he gets it. If someone put a sword or a bow in his hand he would have no idea what to do and toss it away in frustration after ten minutes, if that, but there are only so many ways to teach someone a thing like magic, that takes place mostly in the mind...

Oh, but he's done it, so that's a nonissue. For now. Anders blinks himself out of his distraction, looking at the tiny flame- oh, it's so little- and if he spares the flame a brief, tiny smile, it's completely for the candle and not for Fenris at all.

Ridiculous.]

Third time's the charm? Technically, you've been doing magic on purpose since we got here.

[Just... poorly...]

I suspect I've been doing magic on purpose for many years now.

[So, there. So he's said that out loud, now, and perhaps if he says it casually enough it won't matter.]

Lighting a candle or utilizing my markings . . . it's the same focus.

[Which isn't a shock, not really. He's suspected it for years now. But it's one thing to suspect it in the back of his mind, easily dismissed; quite another to have hard confirmation. Experimentally, he flexes his fingers, vaguely trying to make the flame bigger.]

I always wondered if you just knew something the rest of us didn't.

[Well, maybe. Sort of. There are only so many times you can gloss over lyrium-made tattoos that glow and do magical things as not actually magic, but honestly? He didn't care about Fenris enough to ask. Now it's been years, and there's a part of him that wants to smugly rub it in his face, make no mistake- ha ha, he was a mage all along!- but.

Most of him is tired. Belatedly he reaches for the last bit of cheese on the plate, nibbling at it while Fenris plays with the flame, or tries to.]

You haven't burned a hole in the floor. Or the ceiling. That's progress.

[Anders doesn't rub it in, and Fenris makes note of that. Honestly, he's being far more gracious about this than Fenris had been bracing himself for, and he doesn't know what to do with that, either. There's just a whole heap of things he's got that he doesn't know what to do with, feelings and thoughts he's far too tired to sort through right now.

So: stay in the present, and think only of this conversation.]

Of a sort.

[The flame isn't getting any bigger, but it hasn't gone out either, so we'll call it even. Although-- he glances over with a frown.]

Did you eat all the cheese?

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