highly new, slightly improved open post

[appliances]

assorted morons

☆ @ the muselist

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme ☆ little steps meme ☆ affectionate physical contact meme ☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy ☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU ☆ melodrama is ultimate tier ★ SHIPPING AND FUCC: ☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh ☆ things I am not into: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character ☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty ☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

Comments

[fanfavors]

[It's odd; Huaisang has, quite literally, never taken anything seriously in his life. Oh, there's his art, and the poetry, but he's never made a commitment that meant something to anyone. Someone outside of himself— and now here he is, committing himself to Jiang Cheng, deciding to marry Jiang Cheng, and it's odd how remarkably easy it is to do it. Huaisang wakes up in the mornings to maybe a glimpse of Jiang Cheng on his way out, if he's lucky; a kiss on the forehead that makes him smile, still half-asleep, and it's so, so easy to imagine that this is going to be them from now on. Being together is simple, touching each other is electric and comfortable at the same time; crawling into bed and collapsing on Jiang Cheng's chest after a long day of pretending to listen while Jiang Cheng settles local disputes is the most natural thing in the world.

And yes, there are anxieties. There are fears. Jiang Cheng has more than Huaisang does, after everything, but he listens to Jiang Cheng's quiet murmuring in the dark, hands in his hair and on his back, soothing and present. Neither of them are completely capable people for one reason or another, especially in this, but to love Jiang Cheng is straightforward. He's done it for ages; the messy frustrations can't turn him away now.

So it's strange and wonderful and idyllic, to be here at Lotus Pier. Huaisang could get used to spending every evening in Jiang Cheng's arms, gentle affection becoming more and more heated until one of them is too dizzy with it to go on. It's nice.

And so, naturally, they were due for a bad evening sooner or later. There's no telling what spurs Huaisang's dreams into nightmares; stories the disciples tell in the courtyard, of battle? Cultivators on the fringes of Yunmeng territory arriving run ragged and scared, to report a group of bandits whose filthy robes looked suspiciously like some Wens who'd gotten away? Huaisang wouldn't know; he takes in grim news in the daylight and watches Jiang Cheng, more worried over him than himself.

But in his dreams the battle they'd been in together creeps in, screams and death and blood, and Huaisang is alone this time, and each time he calls out for Jiang Cheng the smoke and stench choke him more and more. He trips over a corpse and falls into hell without any ceremony, elbow-deep in mud and viscera with nothing in his ears but the clash of sabers again and again and again. Something possesses him to crawl through heat and death and over body after body and then Mingjue is there, Mingjue is there and when he reaches out a hand to Huaisang he spits blood and falls to his knees, there's blood on Huaisang's face, and— and—

And he jerks awake but not really, wild-eyed and twisting around when he finally feels that something has grabbed him. For a moment his gaze is elsewhere, eyes open but not seeing until the firm grip on his arm drags him out of the depths.

He blinks. He blinks again and crumbles, breathing hard and shallow, curling into himself again as he reaches out slowly to grip the front of Jiang Cheng's robe, white-knuckled and trembling.

Give him a minute. The whole house heard that, by the way, but give him a minute.]

[pierless]

[The whole house heard, and the whole house will say nothing, or else Jiang Cheng will truly break all their legs.

In an instant he's wrapped his arms around him, gathering him in close, shifting only so he can put his own back to the door instead of Huaisang's. God only knows what the nightmare was about, bandits or soldiers or ghosts, but in some ways, it doesn't matter. I'm here, I'll keep you safe, that's all that truly means.]

It's okay. It's okay, you're okay.

[It's whispered a touch harshly, his heart is thudding hard in his chest, that cry still echoing in his ears.]

I'm here. I'm here, nothing will hurt you. Nothing will touch you. It's okay . . .

[fanfavors]

[Just like the real thing, it's the sound of metal against metal that seems to linger, even as Huaisang wakes up completely. Clash and clang interrupted only by the duller thud of blade into flesh, and Jiang Cheng could say anything at all right now to have the same effect; a balm for his panic and his fear, to put the echoes of the nightmare slowly away.

When he can breathe again he lets go of Jiang Cheng's robe to wind his arm around him and press himself even closer into the embrace. He's here, this is Lotus Pier, the battlefield is far, far away... And so is Mingjue, but one thing at a time.]

Ah... I'm relying on A-Cheng to protect me again.

[It's whispered, and more a thanks than anything else. Jiang Cheng is here, solid and whole, safe.]

[pierless]

I will always, always protect you.

[Emotion embarrasses him, but this kind of fierce protection comes as easy as anything. One palm spreads flat against Huaisang's back, gently massaging, while the other slides up through his hair.]

Just breathe, now. There's nothing you need to fear.

[fanfavors]

[Oh, and if that doesn't go straight to his heart— Huaisang makes a choked noise caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob, but it's relief that fills him at the sound of that promise. Relying on Jiang Cheng... maybe later he'll feel a little burdensome, but there's no space in his heart for that right now.]

Keep doing that, [is what he says, for-- everything. Keep touching him, keep holding him, keep saying these things. He's quiet for a long moment while his heartbeat settles, soothed by the weight of Jiang Cheng's whole presence.

So. Okay. No one has demanded he explain anything at all, but,] It was the battlefield. I was alone there...

[pierless]

[He hums softly, a low acknowledgement.]

Were you hurt?

[His fingers stroke through his hair, his head tipping forward so he can nose against the top of his head. He might hesitate to ask on other nights, but given Huaisang could not be clearer in his desire to talk about this, it's fine.]

[fanfavors]

No... [Ah- he frowns at Jiang Cheng's shoulder, just petulantly enough to be heard in his voice:] It was disgusting.

[He got dirty! Gross! The sheer terror of it hovers at the back of his mind, far enough away for him to talk about in peace. Mm.]

I couldn't find you.

[pierless]

[Well, that gets him to smirk a little, amused despite himself. But, ah . . .]

And then what?

[He hesitates, thinks of something to say, and then shakes his head. Reassurances can come later, once he knows the entirety of Huaisang's dream.]

Did you end up finding me?

[Dead? Is that what he thinks is going to happen next? Yes he does.]

[fanfavors]

[Huaisang hums and shakes his head, which is more or less just an upset kind of push into Jiang Cheng's shoulder. No, no love of his life dead on the ground, thank god—]

Not you— it... My brother was there.

[Can the blanks fill themselves in, here... Is he spared this arduous task...]

[pierless]

A-Sang . . .

[Yes, he can connect those dots, thank god. He's silent for a time, his fingers gliding gently against the line of Huaisang's spine.]

I used to have dreams like that. Right after Wei Ying returned.

[He doesn't have much to say in order to soothe. It's a fact they live in a violent world; it's also a fact that the Nie line is doomed to suffer from qi deviation. He can't tell Huaisang that it might never happen. He can't even assure him that Nie Mingjue is safe now.

But at least he can offer that: a point of solidarity, no matter how grim.]

He's strong, A-Sang. If danger approaches, he'll fight to stay alive every step of the way.

[fanfavors]

I know, I know. [Mingjue is the strongest person he knows- no offense, babe- but that still doesn't quiet the part of Huaisang that wants to rush back to Qinghe right now. If he can always see Mingjue then he knows his brother is fine; if he can hear him shout at a disciple or feel his impatient glare at all times then he's perfectly fine... but.

Well. A person can't live like that, not really. Huaisang is happy here at Lotus Pier, so— so in the morning he'll write, and it will take days to run letters back and forth, but he'll feel better for writing at all. That will do.]

You had dreams like that? [He sort of figured, so if anything, it's an invitation to speak-- and,] Do they stop?

[pierless]

Yes.

[These nightmares are a secret that Huaisang will have to keep, but he trusts him.]

I dreamed about . . .

[Oh, wait, but see: he'd had nightmares about Wei Wuxian, sure, but they were all always tangled up in the horrors of being taken by the Wens and having his core melted. That's not something he's told Huaisang about; it's humiliating enough as it is, no matter that he got it back.

So, hm, a slightly edited version.]

I dreamed of him burning. Over and over, a hundred different ways. And all the while, I'd watch. And no matter how I tried, I couldn't help him.

[It's less melancholic and more matter-of-fact. Wei Wuxian is alive and well, and though he brings a whole host of anxieties, at least Jiang Cheng isn't constantly terrified he'll die.]

They go away. It just . . . it takes a while. You just . . . have to get used to them being safe again.

[fanfavors]

[Ah, so glad this is something they have in common, now. Huaisang hums just to acknowledge that he's listening, he appreciates the effort to tell him about something this heavy, but he doesn't have the words to respond to it just yet. Wei Wuxian is alive and well, and that's something; it has little to do with Mingjue remaining safe and sound, but somehow it still helps.

So, that's... that? That's Huaisang lapsing into silence for a bit, before he shifts to pull back and look up at Jiang Cheng. Hey.]

Do you want to talk about it? [Has... has anyone talked to Jiang Cheng about his bad dreams before?? Hmm.]

[pierless]

What?

[He frowns down at him, then shrugs sharply, glancing away. There's a phantom ache in the center of his chest, and he's always a little aware of the scars that mar his skin. Someday he'll have to show them to Huaisang, but not yet, not yet.

His fingers slide through his hair, smoothing it back. Does he want to talk about it? If he's to speak of it to anyone, it ought to be to his future partner, but . . .]

They're not every night. And when they come, they're what you'd expect. About the war.

[. . .]

About you in the war.