highly new, slightly improved open post

[appliances]

assorted morons

☆ @ the muselist

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme ☆ little steps meme ☆ affectionate physical contact meme ☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy ☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU ☆ melodrama is ultimate tier ★ SHIPPING AND FUCC: ☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh ☆ things I am not into: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character ☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty ☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

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[globs]

[ Cinnabar thinks they were hoping they'd get it, too -- like if they took a chance on Phos, they'd be pleasantly surprised by what they'd find. Maybe their manipulations and suspicions were coming from a place of wisdom all along, and Cinnabar had read them wrong. These were foolish hopes. Cinnabar knows it's wrong to hope - they were supposed to have given up on that a while ago - but here they are, being disappointed anyway. They're almost more angry at themself for getting swept up in it all.

They trust Sensei way more than that Lunarian. Judging by how fast they've done all of this, Cinnabar doubts Phos has put that much thought into who to trust. He's going to take care of what, exactly...? ]

You had to, [ they repeat, scornful. ] Who decided that? You? The Lunarians? You're such a fool.

[ after that, though, they seem to deflate slightly, gaze falling to the ground as they fold their arms over their chest. ]

... And I'm a fool for listening to you. So are the others...

[survivorsgilt]

[Phos thought— really, earnestly believed that if anyone would understand, it would be Cinnabar. Cinnabar who's trapped in the night, who waited and waited for someone to take them away from there, surely should see what Phos is trying to accomplish here.

And yet, they keep throwing out these insults... Phos takes a step toward them, stiffly, then more or less wobbles right past to flop backwards onto the bed. They don't need this right now, so maybe staring at the boring, stupid ceiling will help. Hmmmnnn—]

They didn't come here for me, [comes their eventual response, mercifully not another outburst. They're not so far gone that they've convinced themselves the others came along out of some kind of loyalty— stupid.] I know that already. But this will be better for all of us in the end. Just you wait and see.

[It has to be, otherwise they will walk straight off the moon and drift through space into the sun. Anyway, it's sulking hours now.]

I still didn't find you a job, huh...

[globs]

[ naturally, they back away when Phos starts approaching - then quickly look annoyed when they fall onto the bed. Cinnabar hesitates to call it their bed, and that's the only thing that keeps them from yelling at Phos for that, too. Still, it's rude, and their glare makes it obvious that they don't approve.

Obviously, none of the gems are here for Phos's sake -- but they are here because they believe in the hope Phos is offering, Cinnabar included, and as dumb as their junior gem can be, they doubt Phos is ignorant of the fact that everyone they brought to the moon is desperate for a little hope. It's dangerously close to manipulation. Cinnabar could tell them as much. What would be the point, though? They're already here - the deed is done. And it's not their job to babysit this moron, anyway.

But they feel responsible nonetheless, and that last comment only reminds them of that. Whatever barb they were about to cast is forgotten. ]

You still remember that.

[ it's more of a statement than a question, their voice cool and purposefully neutral. ]

[survivorsgilt]

[Phos frowns up at the ceiling, shutting their eyes to really get into the memory. Hmm, a new job, yes...]

I seem to remember you getting mad at my jobs not being fun.

[Do they remember promising fun? That's not really important right now. Is there really time to sort through what's become of their memories thanks to this hodgepodge body when so many things are happening in the present, though... Hardly. But Cinnabar stands out among the memories they've managed to keep and the remnants from Lapis they've had to deal with— they always do.

Which would probably be worth sharing, but what Phos says instead is,]

Well, this isn't any fun either, huh? So many things happened...

[And still Cinnabar doesn't want to help, so now what should they do? Sulk, like they're doing right now—]

You said you weren't helping, then you came anyway! I don't get it!

[globs]

[ Do they actually remember? They'd started feeling a shred of something close to tenderness, but now they're doubting again. Phos's memory is as unreliable as their loyalty. They used to be easy to read, too; now, when Cinnabar looks at their unfamiliar face, they feel like they're only looking at the surface of a very deep pool. When Phos continues, Cinnabar jerks their gaze away with a snort - but there's no denying the hurt on their face. Despite everything - despite themself - Cinnabar wishes that Phos would remember. ]

You're one to talk. Nothing you do makes sense. [ they continue in a mumble: ] Telling me not to go to the moon, then bringing me there yourself...

[ their old wish seems quaint and immature, now, seeing what's actually on the moon, but it still stings, like a hairline fracture. ]

I don't know what kind of "help" you think I can give you, anyway.

[survivorsgilt]

[Don't ask Phos to remember things... It's frustrating enough without the added pressure!! To wit: they are now Sulking, looking progressively more frustrated as Cinnabar speaks until they finally pick up one of those stupid too-white pillows and smush it down over their own face with both arms.

The groan of despair they make into the pillow is for themselves, rest assured. They do not lift the pillow before they start speaking:]

Going to the moon this way is completely different...

[But whatever! They've been defending themselves all day and it's so exhausting!! Now they lift the pillow, just to stare at Cinnabar. Hey!!!]

You're honest and smart! I need you here to— [toooooo... keep them in line?? Uh, well, failed step one already, so why push so hard for Cinnabar to come at all? Pity? No...]

Well, now you don't have to be alone on night patrol. Aren't you interested in doing something else up here?

[globs]

[ LISTEN... THEY TRIED TO KEEP THEM IN LINE (kind of) AND IT DIDN'T WORK...

the realization that Cinnabar can't just walk out of this conversation like they usually do because they're trapped on the moon and don't know where they are, and Phos is occupying the one area they do know, is beginning to set in. Right about now is when they'd like to walk off before Phos starts really picking at the edges of their incredibly pathetic lifestyle and their personal choices and their feelings (their least favorite things to pick at), but there's nowhere to run. They're trapped on the moon with Phos and their thoughts. Horrible... The compliments make them flinch a little bit, but they don't glance up from the floor, wrapping their arms around themself more tightly. ]

... I'm not. I don't know enough yet. I don't trust them like you do.

[ not even a little!! Besides, they're worried about Sensei and the others down on Earth... ]

Besides, I'm only good for one thing. You know that as well as I do.

[ they're sure the Lunarians would just turn their poison into some kind of weapon. They don't even want to imagine it, frankly... ]

[survivorsgilt]

[Okay well, FIRST of all—] Ew. I don't trust them.

[Which they do not elaborate on further, because why should they? It is perfectly obvious to everyone that their priority is the gems first and foremost, all the time, and the Lunarians factor into that insofar as they can press the others back together from dust. Right? It's obvious...

Phos sighs and sits up, leaning their elbows on the pillow in their lap. If it were not already obvious that being so thoroughly in Cinnabar's space doesn't occur to them at all, it is now. Hello, they are Here.]

Stop saying you're only good for one thing! We're here so that none of us have to fight anyone ever again. You can do anything you want after that!

[And does it occur to Phos that having nothing to do is a problem of equal measure? Also nope. They frown down at the floor for a moment before perking up. Ooh!!—]

Do you want to go see the Admirabilis?

[WOULD THAT BE FUN... SMILE... you like snails don't you shinsha.....]

[globs]

[ super obvious to phos alone!! Cinnabar gives them a dubious glance at the comment about Phos's apparent purpose. If they really wanted to stop the fighting, would they be starting a mutiny like this... Their list of complaints goes on and on.

Perhaps fortunately, they don't end up voicing more, because (once again) they're taken off guard by the new suggestion. One thin brow raises. ]

Huh?

[ WHERE DID THAT COME FROM... rest assured that Cinnabar is still annoyed, just also confused. ]

Why...?

[survivorsgilt]

[Cinnabar, you will come see these big snails!! Phos is now completely banking on this being a cure-all for Cinnabar being mad at them, or at least, like, a friendly olive branch... stop making that face at them...]

Because... you didn't get to before...?

[Is this not a reason to do things? Phos thinks this is a perfect reason to do just about anything, which mercifully when it comes to visiting big snails isn't nearly as problematic as the rest of the shit they pull.

So let's! Go! They are getting up. The clock is ticking.]

You don't want to spend all your time shut up in this room, do you? Come on!

[globs]

[ Well, it is true that they really don't want to stay in here. Ironically, they find themself wishing they could crawl back into their seaside hole and maybe go to sleep for a few days and not think about Phos and their bad decisions. Cinnabar has also made bad decisions, however, thanks to them, so that's not an option. This leaves them feeling -- a lot of things, but mostly two: a lingering and familiar sense of dread and disgust when they consider their own actions and their future, and that particular brand of hope that Phos can instill in them. Right now, they sound the way they did back then, before they became clever and powerful - they sound simple and straightforward and serious, and Cinnabar knows Phos is thinking about them, personally, specifically.

It's a dangerous cocktail that makes Cinnabar want to do something they never do: take chances. That's how they ended up here in the first place. Cinnabar balks when they get up, and to Phos's credit, they look unsure rather than pissed off. ]

"Before?" [ what does that MEAN ] W-wait, is it even safe to go off on our own? This is enemy territory...

[ but it's true that they've never seen the Admirabilis, really, and it's true that they don't want to stay here, and if they had to choose, maybe they'd rather have this idiot gem's company than the void of space and the sterile walls, but!! ]