dumbshow | highly new, slightly improved open post

highly new, slightly improved open post

assorted morons

optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme
☆ little steps meme
☆ affectionate physical contact meme
☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy
☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU
☆ melodrama is ultimate tier
★ SHIPPING AND FUCC:
☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh
☆ things I am not into: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character
☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty
☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

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[So maybe, just maybe, Felix was a touch lonelier this past year than he'd like to admit! Maybe listening to Constantin chatter on about anything and everything is better than the silence he claims he prefers, but you know, it's fine; skipping right over that is more than acceptable, even if it means... leaping out of the pan and into the fire. Ah. Hmm. He can't even take a moment to appreciate Constantin's indignant reaction, because how is he supposed to navigate this situation he's created for himself...]

You're not a child.

[By which he means that he isn't about to babysit him? Act ya age, Connie, not ya shoe size. Keep that promise in mind, because Felix is planning to take it every bit as seriously as he takes his own promises.]

I suppose I could speak to the old man, whenever he comes back from Fhirdiad. [Because something, something, a request from Duke Fraldarius would be all but impossible for anyone in Constantin's household to refuse? And his father has mentioned that it's time to bring Constantin into Fraldarius affairs, if only to allow the people to see them working together—and that sets his fingers drumming against the table in earnest. Marriage! The thing he tries his best not to think about! UGH.] If you're not opposed to work.

[Is riding out to settle property disputes better or worse than holding court? One involves Felix, at least.]

[Please, it's yet again a turn of phrase!! Sort of. The implication is most definitely that spending time with Felix, specifically, will keep Constantin out of trouble by denying him the opportunity to get in trouble in the first place... There isn't any babysitting!

...There is a negligible amount of babysitting. For all intents and purposes, he's an adult. He's not even politely embarrassed this time, unfortunately, because now the prospect of loitering- ahem, working alongside Felix is a very real possibility. His father won't refuse, he knows— as long as Constantin can keep him convinced that he is a totally changed man, letting him spend more time in a more well-respected household is an easy sell!

And, like, they're engaged. Constantin's parents don't care for each other and have never viewed marriage as anything but another tool, but for his part, Constantin is reluctant to use the engagement itself as a bargaining chip... hmm. He'll work it out, if need be.

That said: work, ew.]

What kind of work? [Not physical labor, he hopes? He knows what he is.] That is to say, I am hardly opposed in theory...

[He makes a face that is not entirely a pout, but getting there. Please don't make him do anything crazy. It passes, as he shakes his head to steel his resolve. To do work.]

But I intend beyond all shadow of a doubt to uphold my promise, so— I am in your hands!

[Riding out to the fringes of Fraldarius territory, settling petty squabble after petty squabble, isn't a necessarily thrilling way to spend one's day—but ah, well. Boredom, Felix supposes, is a problem he'll face if and when he absolutely has to? Maybe if he ties him to his saddle...

Kidding! Just kidding, even if that thought, when paired with Constantin's obvious eagerness to get his hands dirty, brings about the return of the world's tiniest smirk. Lazy, whiny Constantin will undoubtedly be annoying in the moment, but for now, Felix is still riding the mild high of being back together.]

Hm. So you say now.

[Is he leaving it at that? Of course he is! With the implication being, of course, that the work is going to be very, very difficult and very, very time-consuming, because this is how Felix teases people he's fond of? He may not joke, but he isn't above poking fun at friends when he's in a halfway decent mood.]

Perhaps I'll drag you along to training, as well.

[Early mornings! Late evenings! Get ready!]

[Perhaps if these petty squabbles involve bandits, or thrilling heroics... or just some cool knife throwing, whatever! Just something interesting! Constantin will learn to endure it. At the very least he won't be lazy and whiny out of spite, like he would be if anyone but Felix took him along to do this work.

Pros, cons? They'll both see when they get there.]

Training? [Ah, and he's clearly feeling more like himself now and less like a mope, because his voice most definitely cracks from Real Fear at the very thought. Training with his own master of arms at home was bad enough, way back when, but—] I have seen you train, Felix! I won't last to the end of the first day!

[What if- consider this- what if he just... watched! Admiringly! That would be better!

He sits back in his chair, hand raised to cover his eyes in an exaggerated gesture of despair. Dramatics(tm).]

If that is the cost, then it must be done... Remember me fondly, won't you?

[Like Felix plans to bring Constantin along whenever he rides out to handle bandits. That goes hand-in-hand with the refusal to babysit—but details, details. Now it's all about Constantin being entirely too dramatic about training, aka Felix's favorite way to spend his free time. Is there anything better than perfecting a new move? Than becoming stronger? Felix doesn't think so, but Constantin obviously disagrees. Sad...]

If you make enough of an effort. [It's easy to allow words like fondly to slip past him when he can be, uh, a tiny bit mean? In fact, he's not even going to think about it at all as he leans forward to finally swipe something (the world's tiniest finger sandwich) off a plate. Fuck utensils... he's a rebel...] Are you any better with a sword?

[Let the records show that Felix demanded to fight Constantin one (1) time, just because he's Like That, and it ended as quickly as one would expect.]

[Constantin would love to miraculously skip all the way ahead to the end, when he's already very strong and talented and heroic and didn't have to get up in the wee hours of the morning to get hit with swords to get that far! That would be great! Once Felix discovers the secret to that kind of training, he'll gladly come along without whining. Until then.

His sword skills, meanwhile... If he weren't bad at training and built like a stick that gets tired after ten minutes, he'd be halfway impressive. As it stands, hmm, well. He has guards for a reason. He does, at least, drop his dramatic hand to frown thoughtfully across the room. Uh...]

I am... passable with a sword.

[By the standards of someone who doesn't know a lot about swords and so wouldn't know any better, he is passable with a sword. In a pinch he could stab a guy? Artlessly.]

You know my house is one of merchants, not soldiers... I am abundantly lucky I was humored with sword lessons alongside my cousin at all!

[This is an excuse, for sure. It's also the truth?? Points for honesty?]

[And "passable," Felix assumes, means "quite bad," but it's not like this is a surprise? In many ways, they're complete opposites; this is something Felix is well aware of—and is occasionally frustrated by, and yet it's... well! It works for them, somehow. Constantin is unlike anyone else Felix knows.

And he wonders, briefly, if that will help or hinder their working relationship, but—hmm. Better to peel apart this tiny sandwich than think about the uncomfortable m-word, so allow him to do just that! And then pull a face when he realizes the veggie-to-meat ratio is, like, three-to-one. Disgusting.]

Then I won't ask you to spar. [Which is very different from simple training, thanks. But a beat, as he drops his dissected sandwich on his little plate, before:] Maybe I'll invite your cousin along.

[Is this good or bad? Like, what if he kicks said cousin's ass?]

[Sparring would, in all likelihood, literally kill him, so this is... a good thing? Constantin is not great at combat, he knows, as much as he would love to be great at it without the hassles of both training and having to get into real fights with swords. He's delicate!]

Ah... you would?

[He has to think about this for a good long moment, in earnest; it's no secret to anyone who has ever met him that Constantin's love and respect for his cousin borders on hero worship, so what if Felix could kick their ass... Would that spoil his opinion of his dearest, most cherished relative, or— and let's be totally honest— just make him way more into Felix than he already is?

The answer is obvious to at least one person in this room, but maybe one day Felix will catch up. Constantin sips his tea.]

If my father has not demanded my cousin's presence for some diplomatic something or other, I could ask. You two ought to spend more time together, in any case.

[Specifically because dear cousin is the best cousin ever and can swing a sword good, not even because they're aaallllll gonna be family sometime soon.]

[And Constantin's, ah, cousin complex doesn't bother Felix? He has two (three?) extremely close friends of his own, but as Felix watches Constantin sip his tea—well! Well. The possible challenge aside, it would be a lie to say that the idea of besting Constantin's dear cousin isn't appealing all on its own. For... reasons.

...Yeah. Reasons. Absolutely none of which center around Felix's strangely selfish desire for Constantin to admire him for his accomplishments, because that's? It's? Pfft. He shifts in his chair for no reason at all. Other people's opinions are wack... mostly...]

Why? Hoping we might get along? [With the implication being that Felix... barely gets along with anyone, being the sharp-tongued individual that he is, but. He still cants his head to the side, pretending like he's considering this very, very carefully.] Maybe your cousin is less opposed to work than you are.

[Maaaaaaaaaybe he'll invite them to ride along for all of those petty squabbles—except he won't, because that means less time alone with Constantin. Hmm!]

[Please, Constantin is already smitten— but he could be more, and watching Felix dump his cousin on their ass would, hmm, add more? It isn't even as if his cousin has a reputation for being obscenely gifted at the sword- pretty good, sure, but that's all- it's just... you know... the spectacle!

That said: teasing him about inviting them along is so cruel.]

You know my cousin is less opposed to work than I am. [this is Known Fact by Everyone] I daresay the two of us would be out of work entirely were we all three to ride out together!

[Potentially? A bonus? Dear cousin the diplomat literally cannot resist fixing other people's problems, which solves Constantin's not wanting to work problem... But ah, would that kind of besting bother Felix? Does he need to show off in all disciplines?

And more importantly, how can Constantin try to hold his hand with his cousin right there making faces!! Augh!]

Father keeps everyone at the estate hideously busy, I'm afraid.

[Does Felix enjoy dealing with people, especially when they're all fired up about the stupidest shit? No. Does Felix want anyone to help him deal with them, let alone smooth things over in record time? Absolutely not. It's part pride, part, like, reluctant acceptance that Fraldarius matters fall to him—so while Constantin is allowed to accompany him, for various reasons, everyone else is unequivocally banned.

But Constantin doesn't need to know that, because Felix enjoys this sort of push-and-pull with exactly one (1) person. A sign of just how comfortable he finds this whatever-it-is...]

Ah. [That's an awfully knowing ah, but he just can't help himself.] But he'll spare you so soon after your return? Generous of him.

[He says it so, so sarcastically, always eager to trash fathers in one another's presence—but, uh? Maybe that didn't come off precisely as he'd intended it to, given the tricky subject matter? He's not quite sure, and while that normally wouldn't bother him in the slightest... it's Constantin he's dealing with here. Sometimes it seems as if there's an entirely different set of rules.

But what to say? It's trickier than he'd like to admit, so it's time to casually look out the nearby window, pretending like he's very interested in the courtyard beyond it as he Considers.]

...If you do come alone, you'll have the guest wing to yourself.

[Smooth! ...But true. Rodrigue stays in Fhirdiad more often than not, and ever since Glenn—well. Visitors are rarer than they once were, so throw a party, Connie.]

[Wow, thanks bud, that doesn't hurt his feelings at all! Well. If he's being honest, it stings only a little to hear someone else remind him that his father sure doesn't want him around! But it's Felix, and Felix understands, more or less, so— hm.

Well, he's not going to make a scene about it. He shrugs, setting his cup down to gesture dismissively.]

My father would rather someone else mind me most of the time.

[So! It's fine! Clearly, shipping him off to loiter in Fraldarius territory right after shipping him off to the north is convenient. Tell him more about the guest wing, instead... come to the guest wing and romance him... Know that he will be thinking about this extremely spicy concept for days.

He watches Felix stare out the window for a moment, wondering. Hmm.

Hmmmm! Okay, go for broke, why not—]

When will I have you all to myself, then?

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