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[appliances]

assorted shitty people

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optional prompts/ideas

☆ caught in the rain meme ☆ little steps meme ☆ affectionate physical contact meme ☆ picture prompt also acceptable but link them so it's tidy ☆ AU ideas: soulmates AU, reincarnation AU, Bad End AU, canon divergent/roleswap AU, dorky college AU, crossover AU, super indulgent high fantasy AU ☆ melodrama is ultimate tier ★ SHIPPING AND FILTHY THINGS: ☆ non-fluffy relationship types I'm down for: codependent, master/servant power imbalance type ships, "we're bad for each other but worse for anyone else," other things I am failing to think of tbh ☆ things I won't rp: noncon (includes "dubcon"), incest, tsundere shit if your tsundere is just verbally abusive, gratuitous torture porn, you'll probably have to ask me about harder kinks and they will vary by character ☆ I don't have a kink list so pitch me an idea if u thirsty ☆ if you would prefer a locked post I can also make that happen

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[mallgoth]

I can lift you over my head.

[Probably. Over his shoulder, at the very least. This, like all Abbacchio logic, is the simplest answer and so the correct one: if he can physically lift and toss Bruno into a bed, Bruno has to sleep first and not scold anyone about their bad habits.

So there.]

[zipperiffic]

[He huffs something that might be a laugh, amused by his direct logic.]

You can. But that's not going to help me sleep, will it?

[mallgoth]

It's a damn good first step.

[He can always just stare disapprovingly at Bruno until he sleeps, which, honestly, he will probably do while Bruno works tonight. He can object and insist until he's blue in the face, but ultimately he still trusts Bruno's judgment. So, pizza, and perhaps even more wine—]

If you ask me, it can wait until morning.

[zipperiffic]

Then--

[He leans in, kissing him quickly, and then pulls back just a little.]

--it's a good thing I wasn't asking, hm?

[mallgoth]

[Hmm. Hmm. He's absolutely weak to Bruno's affection, leaning minutely after that kiss and winding up resting their foreheads together again. Yeah, that's pretty convincing...

No, wait. No. Bruno, for fuck's sake.]

You know I don't wait for you to ask.

[zipperiffic]

Tell me something: is your plan to just keep arguing with me so we stay on the rooftop and don't go downstairs?

[It's an evasion, of course, and he knows he risks earning Abbacchio's anger by doing it, but better that than the alternative. Other days he might just offer an order instead, a firm rebuff that brooked no argument, but right now is about reconnecting, and he doesn't want to spoil it.]

[mallgoth]

One of them, maybe. "Is it going to keep him away from his goddamn paperwork?"—That's the first step for every plan.

[Also, go the fuck to sleep? That's step two of every plan, but he likes to think that's implied by now. Maybe he should have waited in the bedroom with some warm milk and a lullaby if he knew Bruno was going to be such a little shit about just sleeping, again—] For fuck's sake, take a night off for once.

[zipperiffic]

[He shouldn't. He really shouldn't, there's a thousand and one things he needs to do, and the sooner he gets it done the better. They're small fry, and small fry can't afford to slack off, because there's not a whole lot farther down they can fall.

But he's exhausted and in pain, and he's fairly troubled by what he'd seen during his mission, and honestly, he really does need to recharge.]

All right.

[Besides, he assures himself, he'll do a better job when he's rested.]

But you're coming with me.

[He doesn't mean it sexily. It would just be nice to lie against Leone tonight.]

[mallgoth]

[Oh—agreement, so early in this half-an-argument? That's new. New enough to make Abbacchio pause, waiting for the next condition, like he has to tolerate a bed full of paperwork as Bruno spends all night sitting up anyway.

But apparently not, after a few silent seconds.

(And while reunion sex is always good sex, they're both so out of it right now that it would be more trouble than it's worth, without sleep—)

So. Give him a moment; is this how it feels to get what he wants?! Shocking.]

Only because I finished my wine, [a blatant, stupid lie and they both know it, so maybe that's the point.]

Alright.

[zipperiffic]

Did anything happen while I was away?

[He doesn't mean as a team. If anything notable had happened, Abbacchio would have led with that. But it's good to know who bickered and who allies and who favors whom and why, because all those things add up and affect the social balances of the gang.

He works hard to ensure there's no one left out. Oh, they can fight and gang up on one another, but none of them can be allowed to become the least favorite.

Absently, he takes his hand, threading their fingers together.]

[mallgoth]

[Well it's time to head downstairs before somebody changes their mind; the moment their hands connect, Abbacchio steps toward the stairs, tugging Bruno's hand.]

Not much. Just today Narancia declared war over breakfast and switched sides twice before lunch.

[He's tired when he says as much, but it's a different kind of tired than the world-weary constant exhaustion that's seeped into his bones from the work they do. It's just an everyday "dumb kids" kind of tired—a good kind, if there is such a thing when your "dumb kids" all know how to kill a man and none of them are good-tempered.

He himself has probably whacked at least two of them upside the head in the past 24 hours; the usual.]

They worried about you. Fugo pretended he didn't, but he's full of shit, as usual.

[zipperiffic]

He does take after you.

[But he squeezes his hand as he says it, trying to assure him that was a teasing joke.]

I'll say hello to them. I'll assure them. But then . . . I think they can wait until tomorrow, don't you?

[mallgoth]

[That may be a joke, but Abbacchio still recoils from the very thought anyway. Please, he doesn't actually want to co-parent these rabble-rousers. And Fugo... well it's not a lie that the two of them are similar in more than a few ways, but none of them are particularly flattering.

But he just makes a face, exaggerating it to go along with the joke.]

They better wait. They won't like how I get if I have to listen to them tell you all the boring shit they did for three days. [because he is so likable normally] And you're going to bed.