[God, he's such a baby. Ned can't help laughing at him, and goddamn it, the warm feeling that creeps into his chest from laughing about what a child Jacob Frye is is maddening. This is why clandestine rooftop meetings are dangerous.]
I'll compromise—drinks... for free. You've never seen my office; let me give you the grand tour. How's that, Frye?
[Because drinks in his office are much more platonic than drinks in public, shh.]
[The warm feeling that creeps into Jacob's chest at Ned's laughter is exhilarating. Clandestine rooftop meets were dangerous, and being comfortable enough to go to Ned's office was probably worse. But Jacob liked danger, and he just couldn't tell when he was getting in over his head.]
That's perfect, Wynert. [His face is going to hurt from how much he's been smiling, but he doesn't care.] I'll have to dress up nice now, won't I?
For me? [He says, like the answer isn't 100% "yes." Look nice for him, that's a great idea... He reaches over to pinch Jacob's ratty coat sleeve between two fingers.] You're better off putting this thing out of its misery regardless, if that's what you mean.
[Even for his usual biting remarks - which are in good fun and so not always so biting anyway - that one comes out entirely too soft. He's... what, excited? For Jacob to come see his office and to probably laugh at him when he hands him some insane American liquor? That's ridiculous.
But he's looking forward to it now, and that means something. He looks back up at the sky again, at the colors swiftly darkening into dusky blues and purples.] In a few days, so I can stop by and pick up my book first.
[Ned shouldn't be allowed to touch his coat and actually like his book. It's not fair. It had the potential to make the warmth in his chest turn to heat in his face, and he couldn't have that.
It's just a hot evening. Here, he'll slide the ratty the off so someone will stop complaining.] Making sure you get all your work done before a Frye comes to ruin your day? ... That's fair.
[It would make Ned even happier if Jacob just tossed his awful coat into a fire right now. That would really hit the spot. As it stands, now that he has no coat to judge, he'll keep his hands to himself and fold them over his chest. Hmm, drinks in his office, hmm.]
You haven't ruined that many of my days. Although there was that time the wrong cargo got dumped into the river... [Everybody has off days! Ned spends those days yelling.] But yes, some of us have work to do. You'll find some way to occupy yourself in the meantime, I'm sure. Maybe teach some of your boys to handle rifles—I've seen a couple of 'em miss the side of a house when they shoot.
They are ex-Blighters, Ned. We can't expect too much out of them. [Jacob could defend them, but they couldn't land a shot on a few feet away from him. Teaching them might be a good idea.
He says all this like as he's removing things from his pockets, though. Coin purse? Set aside. Extra knives? Aleck's bombs? All get set on the ledge of the roof. He's emptying his coat.] I think if I throw this at them from here they wouldn't notice until it's on top of them.
Probably not. [Yes, teach them... Ned watches all this stuff come out of Jacob's pockets, sort of mystified. Wow.]
Tools of the trade? [Can he just reach over and pick up one of those little bombs? He's gonna.] These are the ones that give you a shock, huh? One of my men sighted your sister throwing them around one day and wouldn't quit talking about it.
[So naturally, Ned will toss it up and catch it a few times... Nice.]
[If Ned were talking to Evie, he'd probably be scolded with the bombs confiscated. Jacob, however, will just watch this with an amused grin as he pulls more and more coins from his pockets. He wasn't the wisest with his money.] Yeah. Evie and I have to wear things in our shoes so we don't fry Fryes.
[Ha ha, he's so funny.] I'll show you sometime. It's pretty satisfying when you're not on the receiving end.
[Don't let him get stunned, Jacob. He probably won't drop this, and if he did, it'd roll off the roof before it managed to go off—ideally speaking. It's probably fine for him to play with bombs.
He laughs at fry Fryes, because he's as lame as Jacob in some respects, and puts the bomb back down after another higher toss.] We'll have to find some Blighter-ridden mud, first. Or cops, next time my boys get pinched.
[Hell yeah, frying the police. That aside...] Frye, you've got a bag for these coins, and they're still all over the place. Seriously?
I'm sorry that I have more money than I carry. Truly the worst problem in the world. [Jacob rolled his eyes, patting his pockets down before giving it a good shake. There goes a missed smoke bomb, dropping three stories to land on some poor, unsuspecting Rooks.]
You could— [Whatever he's going to say to that is interrupted as his attention is hooked by the smoke bomb bouncing away and unleashing a cloud of inconvenience on the poor saps below them trying to play cards. For a moment it's quiet on the roof, the only noise to be heard the clamoring and startled shouts from below.
And then Ned laughs again, behind his hand, trying not to laugh too loudly and give them away up here. He leans to peer over the edge of the roof just for a couple seconds before coming back again, reaching for Jacob's shoulder and steadily losing control of his laughter as he moves to get up.]
I think we're outta time. Pick up your toys and let's get down from here.
[Jacob spared a grin for the poor players, but he only started laughing because Ned was adorable. That isn't a word he thinks should come to mind about him, a crime lord of London, but... he can't help it. Who allowed him to look so happy?]
Right, right. You're better at going down than getting up. [He hauls his coat over his shoulder, grabbing his handful of things to stuff in his various belt pouches. The real reason he has so many.] After you.
[At least put the coins in the coin purse Jacob, augh. Thankfully Ned misses this continued refusal to use a coin purse for the only thing it's made for, humming and still chuckling a little as he leans down to brace himself and then hop through the trap door back into that grubby little attic room. Now that he's here, let him look around...
He's going to touch everything if nobody stops him. Look at him, already enthusiastically gesturing widely with both hands at the mess.]
Now then, you've got to tell me about this palace of luxury.
[Jacob fully expects to just be walking Ned back down to some carriage or something, so he blinks after stepping down. He looks between Ned and the piles of bottles he's gathered, hopefully over the course of a few weeks at least, the unmade bed, the... well, the illustrations from London all the walls were cute, at least.]
I had to go somewhere when Evie's mad. Or when she's not and they've decided to... occupy the bed. [Ugh. He runs a hand through his hair, clearly exasperated he didn't think of cleaning sooner. Don't make fun of him!!] It's not like anyone else is using it.
[He'll have to commandeer some Rooks to drive him home if he wants a carriage, so let him have this moment of poking around this charmingly crap hidey hole room. The illustrations are cute.]
She'd hit you if she knew you were telling me that. [Have you met your sister, Jacob?? Ned looks away from the cute pictures to instead pick up an empty liquor bottle and scoff at it, holding it up.] Really? I knew I was right to offer you a drink at my place.
Then she better not find out. [Jacob walked past Ned as if they were still leaving, groaning when he saw Ned lift a bottle. There's just no escaping this.]
So I can have your weak American beer? I don't think so. [He hasn't even drank any--] We make it just fine here. You might just have poor taste.
Oh, that'll be the day. "Evening, Miss Frye, you'll never guess what your dearly beloved brother told me all about earlier tonight..." I like my head on my shoulders where it belongs, thanks.
[But anyway, now that it's established that no one is going to repeat anything about Evie's sex life here or ever again, Ned tosses the bottle at Jacob. Catch this garbage, punk.] Whiskey, Frye. I don't pay big bucks to import cheap beer.
[Jacob catches it-- because of course he does, assassin-- and sighs, shaking it like he wishes there was more in it.
Don't judge him for turning it over to catch like, one tiny drop. Shut up.] Tell you what, Wynert. If your whiskey is better than anything I've had here, I'll owe you a favor.
[He's judging a little... How long has that been on the floor in here? Gross. But there's no denying the way his eyes light up when he hears the word favor.]
Done. Shake on it. [No man has ever agreed to something faster than Ned Wynert agrees to a bet based on the quality of his American Whiskey. He's already holding his hand out before he's done telling Jacob to shake it - shake his hand. Seal this fate.] No cheating me, alright?
[He has great faith that his fancy imported liquor could run circles around whatever swill Jacob is buying on his stolen coins. They are two men at complete opposite ends of the gang leader aesthetic and that is okay. Ned will show him the way.
Anyway. He's got a decent handshake for someone so small; practice.] It'll knock you right outta your ugly boots. You'll like it.
I'm sorry, not everyone can wear fancy shoes and jackets with sleeves too long for them. [Jacob smirked, but he was admiring Ned's face for so long that he realized he needed to stop shaking his tiny hand. He froze once it hit him, clearing his throat and pulling it back to run through his hair instead.
[This sure is a long handshake... Ned just looks at him, apparently amused enough to not point it out until Jacob notices and gets awkward about it himself. That's what he lives for, smirking and tugging at his own sleeve like there's absolutely nothing wrong with the size of his coat.
Denial is a powerful thing. It's fine.] That's not something I need to hear from someone who's never seen the inside of a tailor's.
[Sooo... are they both stalling? He's just curious.]
It'd probably scandalize you more to tell you I've been inside one and did nothing about it. [Jacob's absolutely stalling. He didn't like thinking about sending Ned off, or the walk back to the train where he's probably missed Evie leaving. Ned was... good company.]
... Thank you for taking time out of your precious schedule to join me. [He gives it up with a sigh, dropping his hand to his side.] I don't know what I'd do without your criticism.
Same thing you do with it? Nothing at all. [He even just admitted as much about the tailor thing, so Ned is right as usual. But he can't stall much longer than this, so with one last sigh and look around the room like he's been here forever and will really miss scorning it, he turns for the door.]
Walk me out, Frye. We'll see if I can lose you in a crowd for once.
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dumbshow2017-02-06 11:06 pm
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I'll compromise—drinks... for free. You've never seen my office; let me give you the grand tour. How's that, Frye?
[Because drinks in his office are much more platonic than drinks in public, shh.]
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That's perfect, Wynert. [His face is going to hurt from how much he's been smiling, but he doesn't care.] I'll have to dress up nice now, won't I?
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[Even for his usual biting remarks - which are in good fun and so not always so biting anyway - that one comes out entirely too soft. He's... what, excited? For Jacob to come see his office and to probably laugh at him when he hands him some insane American liquor? That's ridiculous.
But he's looking forward to it now, and that means something. He looks back up at the sky again, at the colors swiftly darkening into dusky blues and purples.] In a few days, so I can stop by and pick up my book first.
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It's just a hot evening. Here, he'll slide the ratty the off so someone will stop complaining.] Making sure you get all your work done before a Frye comes to ruin your day? ... That's fair.
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You haven't ruined that many of my days. Although there was that time the wrong cargo got dumped into the river... [Everybody has off days! Ned spends those days yelling.] But yes, some of us have work to do. You'll find some way to occupy yourself in the meantime, I'm sure. Maybe teach some of your boys to handle rifles—I've seen a couple of 'em miss the side of a house when they shoot.
[Critique,]
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He says all this like as he's removing things from his pockets, though. Coin purse? Set aside. Extra knives? Aleck's bombs? All get set on the ledge of the roof. He's emptying his coat.] I think if I throw this at them from here they wouldn't notice until it's on top of them.
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Tools of the trade? [Can he just reach over and pick up one of those little bombs? He's gonna.] These are the ones that give you a shock, huh? One of my men sighted your sister throwing them around one day and wouldn't quit talking about it.
[So naturally, Ned will toss it up and catch it a few times... Nice.]
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[Ha ha, he's so funny.] I'll show you sometime. It's pretty satisfying when you're not on the receiving end.
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He laughs at fry Fryes, because he's as lame as Jacob in some respects, and puts the bomb back down after another higher toss.] We'll have to find some Blighter-ridden mud, first. Or cops, next time my boys get pinched.
[Hell yeah, frying the police. That aside...] Frye, you've got a bag for these coins, and they're still all over the place. Seriously?
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... I meant for that to happen.
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And then Ned laughs again, behind his hand, trying not to laugh too loudly and give them away up here. He leans to peer over the edge of the roof just for a couple seconds before coming back again, reaching for Jacob's shoulder and steadily losing control of his laughter as he moves to get up.]
I think we're outta time. Pick up your toys and let's get down from here.
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Right, right. You're better at going down than getting up. [He hauls his coat over his shoulder, grabbing his handful of things to stuff in his various belt pouches. The real reason he has so many.] After you.
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He's going to touch everything if nobody stops him. Look at him, already enthusiastically gesturing widely with both hands at the mess.]
Now then, you've got to tell me about this palace of luxury.
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I had to go somewhere when Evie's mad. Or when she's not and they've decided to... occupy the bed. [Ugh. He runs a hand through his hair, clearly exasperated he didn't think of cleaning sooner. Don't make fun of him!!] It's not like anyone else is using it.
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She'd hit you if she knew you were telling me that. [Have you met your sister, Jacob?? Ned looks away from the cute pictures to instead pick up an empty liquor bottle and scoff at it, holding it up.] Really? I knew I was right to offer you a drink at my place.
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So I can have your weak American beer? I don't think so. [He hasn't even drank any--] We make it just fine here. You might just have poor taste.
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[But anyway, now that it's established that no one is going to repeat anything about Evie's sex life here or ever again, Ned tosses the bottle at Jacob. Catch this garbage, punk.] Whiskey, Frye. I don't pay big bucks to import cheap beer.
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Don't judge him for turning it over to catch like, one tiny drop. Shut up.] Tell you what, Wynert. If your whiskey is better than anything I've had here, I'll owe you a favor.
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Done. Shake on it. [No man has ever agreed to something faster than Ned Wynert agrees to a bet based on the quality of his American Whiskey. He's already holding his hand out before he's done telling Jacob to shake it - shake his hand. Seal this fate.] No cheating me, alright?
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Except he didn't really mind doing Ned favors. So it's not really a loss.] Cheat you? Never, Ned.
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Anyway. He's got a decent handshake for someone so small; practice.] It'll knock you right outta your ugly boots. You'll like it.
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Smooth.] Right.
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Denial is a powerful thing. It's fine.] That's not something I need to hear from someone who's never seen the inside of a tailor's.
[Sooo... are they both stalling? He's just curious.]
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... Thank you for taking time out of your precious schedule to join me. [He gives it up with a sigh, dropping his hand to his side.] I don't know what I'd do without your criticism.
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Walk me out, Frye. We'll see if I can lose you in a crowd for once.
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